Boot Camp

   Well happy sunday everyone. What a day indeed. What a weekend! I mean holy wow boot camp was phenomenal. Yeah. There's a sweet new word to put into the vocabulary! Where do you start in describing the day? After reflecting for a few hours about what I just went through, I do believe the chi cultivation was my favorite thing about the day. Always, for as long as I remember, I wanted to summon chi, I wanted to use chi. I never had a taught method from the martial arts. I had "kind of" methods. I have used professionals to delve into my mind and spirit to look at and address the demons inside of myself. That was an amazing experience all in its self. The tingly sensations through out the whole body, joined with the physical releases from smashing those demons, in the face, with a brick, was beyond words to describe. But what I learnt yesterday in Sifu Brinker's seminar was a whole new level of spiritualism, for me. I have looked at some mean demons right in the eyes, but never looked at my organs before. It was very enlightening. What I saw was something truly un-expected and disgusting. I saw the damage twenty years of smoking on my heart. I was....I am not sure of how to describe. Not impressed, I suppose. Nope, I am pissed right off at myself. But, again it is all part of a grander scheme. It had to come to this. I had to see the damages for myself. I have seen cancers and death from smoking. I have heard it thousands of times, seriously. I have said it thousands of times. But the dangers and after effects never sank in. Until yesterday. Yes this boot camp was defining and is redefining for me. I have now decided that I am truly done with smoking. Its the same feeling I have had when I finally quit boozing. I remember this emotion. This feeling of desperation. When desperate, determined and streamlined on a goal, my success rate is exceptionally high. In the one hundred percentile range.
   In fact, I enjoyed the chi cultivation seminar so much, I did the same thing this morning. I slowly walked down to the beach. Appreciating the sounds, but remembering where I was and what I was doing. I stopped a few times and tried to appreciate the people I saw, the sounds I heard. Remembering that we share so much and are connected in so many ways. I finally made it to the beach and the best I could repeated what we did yesterday. I need to track down Sifu Vantuil and go over some of the techniques she shared with us. Like yesterday, the sensation through my hands was wicked. I was blown away at how quickly my chi was summoned. I honestly felt it on my first step, with my first breath of my walk. I don't really remember how long I was gone, but it only felt like 25 minutes. At least an hour I was gone. This is something I am going to make time for. I work four tens, so there is three days a week I have to make this work.
    I learnt so much from so many experts and high level black belts, that yesterday was gift after gift. Boot camp stood out as a huge accomplishment for myself. Another demon kicked in the face. I have never liked to put myself out there, like we did yesterday. I used to compare myself so much that I would think, there was no point. I will just bring down the whole group, so I will not bother and everyone will do better with out me. Yesterday, I went there for me, with an open heart and a willing mind to learn whatever I am being taught. It was like Sifu Ryback had talked to me with her lessons to learning seminar before hand. I did feel like I knew nothing except that I wanted to learn, yesterday. What a day, what a day. I learnt so much about myself, that I can no longer ignore obvious, blaring realities. One being I will not fully grasp the numerous gifts from kung fu, until I quit smoking. That is now a screaming fact. Another being that I need to stay in tuned with my body, to be in tuned with my surroundings. Hopefully that will continue to help with my anger. Twice yesterday I was mad. Just because, I was mad. I knew I needed to get away for a moment and breath. I need to learn to work through those situations and emotions, without having to leave the room. Hey, if I am going to continue on the path of mastery, then I must master my emotions, and use other ways to release my anger and frustration. Means and methods I have been shown here in kung fu and in other programs. It is a slow a tedious process, but well worth journey to the end goal. One that I am still on. Empathy I felt was explained in such a fashion that I do truly understand that topic now.
  So, in the aftermath of Boot Camp, there came more goals and things to work towards. Next year, I would like to be up beside Mr.Sollinger and that other guy for the 2 km run. Wish I knew his name, but, I don't. I was amazed that I kept that kind of a pace for two km. Awesome! Some bars where set yesterday and its up to us to reset those bars, next year. I was inspired to see everyone working as hard as they were. That was so cool. I knew, I had to step it up here. These guys are doing awesome, I want to do awesome. Be the example you wish to see, and there were so many examples set yesterday it was awesome. So, I guess, all in all, yesterday was phenomenal. I wish to thank everyone who helped make yesterday so....brilliant.  Especially, that nice old lady that opened up the school for us. She was super nice. I liked her smile, it was very genuine.


Anyhow, that's all I have right now
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

A Good Week

Happy sunday to everyone. and a happy fathers day to the dads out there. You know, trying to write this blog with need for speed blaring in the background is really kind of tough. But all its all good. My oldest hasn't left my side all day thus far. Friday I was mowing the lawn and the youngest was following me a round pushing his big dump truck.  It sure is a nice feeling. This last week has been really good, man I tell you what. T-ball wrapped up on Thursday night, and it was a real good time. I am pretty lucky to have had the opportunity to work with those kidos. We decided to have a kid versus parents game and that was awesome. The kids were fired up play their folks. I remember those games a s a kid and it was a lot of fun to play dad at hockey. Nice to be on the other side of things. It was sweet how it worked out. Each parent tried to hit it to their child so their kid could throw in the out at first. Really neat how that worked out. I know my boy was pumped to get me out at first. Because of this experience, I threw my name in the hat as a coach for next year. I mean, why not? This year the league asked if I could because no one else could. Absolutely I said. I had no idea of what I was walking into. Next year, I hope to take away worry of there being enough coaches. Not a huge time commitment, but it is a huge personal commitment. Trying to improvise so all kids get to try all positions, but trying to keep others engaged in the practice.  Everything worked out beautifully. Good times for everyone.
    Kung fu was awesome again this week. Lots of great numbers this week. It is always exciting when adding up numbers and some hit 1100 range. Right now, life is firing on all cylinders. Everything is working great. Lots of balance, and therefore time is so much easier to divvy up. I have another rough draft of what my day is supposed to look like, but, I don't know what life has in store for me, so it is a rough draft. I am finding that, slowly I am getting faster at adapting to the change in my life, and therefore my numbers, are staying much more consistent. And I have been working hard these last few weeks, that's the meat and potatoes of it there. Working to make time for what matters.
   On Friday night, I picked up the broadsword for boot camp. I get home and started to play with the sword. I did a few moves from stick form, and then I did the entire stick form but with sword. There were a few places I need to change a movement or two. But overall, the weapon change was very smooth. Man alive I love building and practicing forms. It blew me away at how viable the stick truly is. Yesterday sifu again told me that the stick is the father of all weapons. I have heard this I do not know how many times, but until I experienced it, I could not understand it. Awesome. Now, I want to continue on my stick form, but also build a sword form. Here, is where I need to realise something. That too much of a good thing can be bad as well. If I overwhelm myself by making up expectations that do not exist, I will push myself away from what I love. You see, I should just practice moderation and stick to the stick form, and simply play with the sword instead of outing all this un-needed stress in my mind. Then at the end of the year I would probably be standing there confused as to what to do with myself, and disappointed in the choices I made. So, moderation wins again.
   Yesterday, I got help with a combination I have had sketched down for some time now. That was nice to have that combination pounded out. The thing I like about combos so much is if I change my feet just a little bit, my hands change that much as well, and a different strike might work better. As our harmonies say movements to be, they truly are. When we absolutely let go and let the kung fu take over, it is amazing at just how our bodies flow. I am no guru of kung fu or any thing like that, but I feel I do have a good understanding of spiritualism. The sense I believe, tell me that if I continue to let go and practice the principles to the best of my abilities, each and every day, great things will happen. Great opportunities will continue to present themselves. Just one catch. I need to work very hard for these good things in life. Otherwise I will not even know opportunities just passed me by.  Good stuff, man, good stuff.
   I am looking forward to boot camp. This will be my first go at it. I am pumped. Again I have no idea as to what I am getting myself into again, but I am positive its going to be wickedly intense. Broadsword forms, and wing chun and self defense theory and then I have been told something like a black belt test. Holy man, I am probably going to puke. But it will be worth it. hahaha! This going to be lots of fun. I can not wait to see just how well I will do, as to how I may think I will do. Well, that's not really true. I carry the thought process today that I will succeed. Whether I actually win something or learn a lesson in defeat, I am always trying to better myself. As a result, I succeed at what I set out to do, one way or another. Fantastic! Kind of cocky I know, but what do you do, when being confident in something. I have done some reading as to what "champions" and "winners" do. You know the people you see who are just successful. And yes it is very true that they work hard, but the also think highly of themselves. They have a self-confidence of themselves that just stands out. With a lot of these kinds of people, they don't need to talk about how great they are, they are just great. Their awesomeness just seeps out of their pores. But it all started in the mind. Ali said one day he would became the champ, because he always knew, if he worked hard now, that later he was going to be the champ. He became the champ because he believed in himself. Now, I don't desire to be number one in the kung fu world, but, I do desire to be the best that I can be in the kung fu world. And that, I do not know what all is entailed of that, except for lots and lots of hard work and a positive, I will prevail mind set. I see this kind of confidence in a bunch of the people I get to train and work with. Awesome stuff!


Well, I am going to eat mini donuts at the farmers market today, so I will catch you on the flip side people
Have a nice day and thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

The Good Life

Hey team I just had to share this. We had our t-ball wind-up tonight and it was a fantastic evening. I have this absolute consuming feeling of gratitude. The kids where amazing and all of them made leaps and bounds in their ball skills. I have learnt so much from these random children that where specifically placed in my path!! Absolutely amazing!! This is one of my proudest moments as a useful member of society. You guys should have seen it. The look on those kids faces when they received their team medals, and when they played their parents!! wowee! And then the kids are all like "you have to hit too coach" and of course i did and they made sure to get me out at first base! I was doing running man poses while running to first! Hahaha. Just beautiful!! Oh and one kid gave me a thank you card and flashlight and another gave me an invitation to go to his birthday party on sat afternoon!! That's just simply amazing. Those kids near had me in tears. Fantastic!!! 

What an awesome experience. Another of those "this is the good life" feelings

Okay well, I will see you Friday night. Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

A Good Week

Good morning today. Another fine day in the beach here. So, I have not been working much lately which is awesome, I do not like working. I don't know who does to prefer to spend their time at some filthy job site, but I don't. This week is another one for the record books. This week I was able to get a well rounded workout in, as per our numbers. I made progress on everything this week. It has been about a month since I have been able to claim that. My stick form is coming along so well, that I decided to tear it completely apart and put in some wicked new moves, that I learnt at class on Wednesday night. So, on Friday, I had two, sometimes three of my own forms running through my head, then throw the added stress of that demo and I was all over the map. I consistently forgot my new and old moves, so I worked the form the best I could. I was getting real upset with myself, about messing up my form. To try to combat this, I, simply just stopped trying to fight my new form and worked the old one during the demo. But, with having experienced the demo a few times, I have a great idea of what to expect, with these forms. So, I am able to try and fit my form to the music. Using the tools we were given Friday night. Like when to stop and start as per the music. I can try to create this form so it works well with the music. I am very confident that with practice and time, this new form will fit the spot I have been assigned. Also, I understand that I may have to move my form from spot to spot in the demo and I have taken that into account as well. I hope to have this form come out as incredibly versatile. I hope it is as awesome as what is running through my head. I look at my stick form like this, It is the same form, just looking at the situation differently. Same four opponents, almost the same attacking order, just a different circumstance at hand. Honestly though, I really just enjoy creating forms and combos. That is a lot of fun. It is. Trying to take out these imaginary opponents with creative, but effective strikes and spins. I haven't lost a fight yet against the shadows, but they are getting good. They know what I am doing before I do!! But seriously, I do enjoy creating forms. I get to see first hand at how well, I understand my techniques, weapons, and kung fu. It is really cool. I have all sorts of notes and scribbles about new moves, old moves, abandoned moves, moves I yet to try. I am excited for this form again. It is gonna be real sweet.
   Been a fairly quiet week, for me. Nothing to spectacular this week. Built some shelves out of an old crib we had kicking in the garage, and some yard work. Lots of kung fu and lots of family time. With this next week coming up, there are a few things coming to an end. Kung fu in onoway will be shutting down for the summer (boo!), but I get to come to stony plain for classes, soon. That's swell. I do enjoy coming to stony to train, despite the travel and lost family time. I do enjoy seeing everyone in class, and it is nice to experience some of the other instructors and their view points on different topics in class. If it were not for summer time I would miss the opportunity to work with different people. So I look forward to learning something for lots of you in class.
   Sifu's words are still resonating in my ears. The opportunities we have here, the extra-ordinariness of our lives and of I Ho Chaun. That was a very powerful message. I do not have a lot to say about this today, as I am still processing the conversation. Quickly, though, the whole mastery process, forces us to be at the top of our game at all times. At least for myself. Lately If I miss an opportunity to be nice to someone, or if I am not training at the intensity that I need to be, I am not completely fulfilling my end of the bargain. I am half-arseing things. That's right we all agreed to take on this challenge. Now we need to keep pushing.  Mastery, I feel, has no room for "well, that might be good enough." Or almost there's.  Or any other clichés about half efforts. Slowly I am feeling the transformation inside me. If I am doing a gig at work and I feel it is not up to my mastery level ,or awesomeness, it is not good enough. I need to restart and do better. I will get better at getting better. That is inevitable. Like I have heard before: We might be the reason someone signs up for kung fu. We might be the story that changes someone's live. So why not give them the reason or the excuse to change. I don't want anyone to be how I used to be, but I can be used as an example of what we can become. We must be the change we desire to see in others. If anything, we, can show what awesomeness looks like.


Well, until next time sports fans
I am Mr.Duncan
Stay classy Stony Plain
  

Closing a Door....

Why hello there! What are you doing today? I hope its enjoying your life in whichever way you see fit! What an awesome day today. That parade was really cool, man. I had a good time. Seeing everyone with a singular goal coming together. Sure it is just a parade and it seemed easy to accomplish the parade, but still, we had to work to get the parade done. It was really cool to watch both Sihings jump ahead and do their weapons form and then the crowd starts cheering, and ohhing. Awesome! I do enjoy watching everyone succeed. The happiness everyone feels from scaring children with the lions. Awesome! I become filled with inspiration and joy seeing people winning. I got to step back for a quick note. As noted before I came from the loosing side of things. Always loosing, always getting beat down by life and people. Yes, in the last few years since facing life on life's terms I have had success. But, since joining I Ho Chaun and really trying to commit to what I.H.C. stands for in life, have I found real success. There is a difference. A huge difference. When sobering up and all you have is not getting wasted, that is a huge accomplishment. Almost four years later and I still feel a huge sense of awesomeness when I wake up and remember the day before. Waking up without guilt or remorse. Today, I am beyond those goals. Don't get me wrong sobriety is still, number one in my life, hands down with out question. Beyond that goal you might ask. Well, yeah, to an extent. I do not have to completely put every ounce of energy into not getting wasted. Obviously, I have time to do other things, like kung-fu. Kung fu helps very much with re-iterating the fact that I do not have to get wasted. That i can be amazing if i choose to be. There just is not time for anything else but kung fu and my family. And its not just kung fu, it is a way of life. It is more than a year long commitment to mastery of kung fu. I am very happy Sifu Brinker reminded us of that yesterday. Thank you for that. I forgot the main purpose of I.H.C., to be brutally honest. Yes I re-affirmed myself last weekend. But, with sifu's words and the actions of others yesterday, I really feel good about I.H.C. again. Hahaha, that's an understatement. Yeah I am really into "it" today. Just absolutely jacked to be alive. And just blown away that I have the privilege to do some awesome kung fu today. At my leisure!!!
   Okay, so I want to get real honest with everyone here today. Now, yesterday, I had a moment during the parade, that just blew me out of the water. I near came to a complete stop and just stared. Yes this blog has a lot of the past in it, and for good cause. That is where I have been on and of since half way through the parade. This is something I very honestly was not going to talk about here on the internet, or with any of you people, but, if I want to be apart of the silent river kung fu family, then I believe I need to come clean about this topic. I hate secrets and I hate holding them when I know that they are going to impair me. Again, this said individual has been on my mind a lot in the last few weeks. Yesterday, I am walking, like everyone else, in the parade. We are about 20 minutes into the walking down the street thing. And out of the corner of my eye, there is this girl with beautiful long golden blonde hair. She has these amazingly huge eyes, and the look on her face as the lion comes her way is one of absolute joy. Jumping and laughing. I was stunned. I had to take a second, a third, and a fourth look and was like "holy happy horse poo, that's my little girl" I wanted to run back and re-introduce myself and, I wanted to take her by the hand and have her walk up front the pack with me. I wanted to sing her the lullabies I have never been able to sing I wanted to hold her like I have never been allowed to. I wanted to put her on my shoulders and shout at the crowd "This is my baby girl. Look to see how beautiful she is!!" The last time I held her in my arms, she was one and a half years old. The last time I saw her, that wasn't rushed to be finished quickly, she was almost three. She is now ten years old. So yeah, I had a flushing of all sorts of emotions in the system. I tell you what though. Yesterday was not the day to be imposing my will on her or her grandmother. I lost that ability years ago. I was asked to leave her life, and I did. When I say I was a degenerate in the past, with a legacy of violence hatred and booze, I meant it. Leaving was not an easy decision to make. I was not daddy material and where I was, I did not want to be. Cowardly.... I know. I lived with that demon for years. Honestly, I would have caused so much more damage if I stayed. The best thing I ever did for her was walking away. That may cause some hatred or anger in some people, and that is fine, feel how you feel, I don't really care when it comes to this topic. You where not there. That was all I had to offer was a terrible attitude and a mean right hook. I do not have the words to properly explain where I was, especially on the internet. I will face to face if you so desire. You see, I know in my heart and soul that my baby girl will want to learn what her father is all about. And when that day comes, I know I will be able to properly give the answers she desires. There are no explanations that can justify myself for how I used to be. But, I hope her grandmother and her can see the changes that have happened and continue to happen. I pray that one day,  the work I have put into changing my life will be recognized. I will not ever ask for forgiveness, but I do desire a second chance. One day, one day I will prove to her and everyone else from my past that people can and will change. I hope she can see, that I needed to loose myself to find out who I really am. I am just happy that I sobered up when I did. I would not be here today if I sobered up at a different date. This is how my journey is laid out.  Life is the way it is supposed to be. Just dandy. I now have an alterative motive, to use kung fu, The Program, and life lessons to really excel as a man. I want to show everyone that life is amazing and so are you. Now go do some push ups!!
   I desire to use mastery as my elevator to the top of my spiritual being. Mastery, to me right now, is recognizing the extra-ordinariness of our beings, and we all are extra-ordinary, now we build from there. Anything we do, everything we say, must now be top notch. Its okay to make mistakes as long as we can be gracious enough to accept our mistakes and grow from there. For me, I have to continue being awesome in my words. To continue to choose the proper thing to say, no matter what I feel I should say. To say that one thing to that one person that will build them as a person. To construct relationships out of love and respect, not fear and pain. Strip away the fear, and its all the same love. I cant change loving all of you, you all are too important to me. Even if I barely remember your name. I remember, that love is patient, love is kind, and that we all need some loving, in this beautiful thing we call life.
   Now as for kung-fu, I crushed my goals of one thousand push up and sit ups. Awareness, was kept very high this week and A.O.K.'s flourished again. Keeping a daily journal of what I do and what I eat has been exceptionally helpful. For instance, when we started this journey, I drank one maybe two glasses of water. Today, I feel sick if I only drink one or two glasses of water. Being visually aware of what goes into our bodies, is huge start to living better, as I have read, numerous times, I now understand. Being nice to people is certainly much easier as time goes on. Especially, when i have to be accountable to everyone else, not just me.  Today, I am much more likely to stop and help or compliment someone, just because I should "Hey there guy" I shouted across the parking lot Friday afternoon, "Nice truck man, boy that is a nice truck!" "Thank you" he shouts back. That was neat. In fact I feel bad if I do not compliment someone when opportunity arises. Weird, I know. Another thing I never thought would happen to me. There are new emotions that, I have never felt before. Some days it is too much and I want to just hide. But, I can not, nor will I stop progress. No more. That would be retarded. Especially after the taste of the good life, that I have had. And if I look at things from my favorite spiritual side. If I get in the way of progress, than, I am saying that I am greater than you and my higher power. I am saying I know what is best for me and you. That is fuelling the ego again. That damn ego will kill us. One way or another.
   Man, I just can not get over the gratitude I feel, from hanging with the fellow I Ho Chauners. Every time I am training with a black belt or higher ranking belt. I still say to myself, "I can not believe I am training with these other people. Wow. How did this happen?" Maybe it is the lessons I try to take away, from each and every meeting. With each and every blog I read. With every conversation that is had. So much gratitude and even more humbleness. I am so thankful for I Ho Chaun. Even more thankfulness for Silent River even being here in stony plain. Fantastic! What a blessing I have been handed. "Here man, try this" my higher power says. I am like "well, you know best, so thank you G-man, thanks for you thought of little me!"
   Finally, after reading Sihings blog, I too am going to start using you black belts a lot more. His blog made a lot of sense to me, and I too am going to commit to building those circular patterns that kung fu works on. So, Next time we are in class, I am going to be picking a lot of brains. Time to get out of mine and into yours. Bwhahaha. This is going to be epic!




Oh stay strong and stay cool Sifu Beckett. I am sending all the energy I can your way. I hope you get better soon. And I hope to see you even sooner!!


Well Thanks for your time.
Have a great day everyone
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan