Gatitude For The Season

Hello its me again. On a fine monday morning. This break something different has taken over in my life. Gratitude. I have experienced something only sweet dreams are made of and was able to spend some time with kido. Very grateful for the small amount of time I had with her of Christmas eve. Very grateful for her getting along with her brothers and cousins so nicely. It was a great night. I remember saying to my wife, that, I do not need any presents or gifts, I have received the best gift of all. My kids. It was a short lived time, but, the best gifts of all, I have come to learn are very small. Whether it be in time or in size. So, gratitude was the theme for my Christmas.
    There are people in our paths that, we must deal with, and that maybe we are not very fond of. But, we still give the gift of kindness. Through our speech and actions, we spread kindness. Now, I am not the best at being kind, but, with practice, I have become better at it. One of my monkey goals is to really push myself to practice kindness and actually, really, caring about others. I constantly ask that question when on my heavy bag. Why do I need to be kind when I can kick someone's head off their shoulders. Why should I be nice when I can force my way out of people? That has been on my mind a lot lately. Not sure why, but it is a huge question. Well, I have done the "social experiments" on my own, as in just being nice to people and mentally noting the results. And, I get far more of what I desire through kindness, than with anger. People will do as you ask, if you're screaming mad, just to shut you up, but, there is resentment and anger involved, so, the job is done quickly and not usually professionally. If asked to do something with a tone of caring and kindness is the underlining tone in your voice, people, jump to the occasion and usually surprise you with results.
    Spending all these last few days with family and friends has made me see all the different dynamics, in creating a proper black belt, how I understand them today. This message and view point, will probably change and evolve through time. But today, I see a black belt as a force to be reckoned with in and out of the training halls. I see a black belt as the lighthouse of example on how to tear someone apart. But, I now also see, the other side of a true black belt. Not needing to use their hands to solve a problem, but their words. Those words only come through years of practice, and a commitment to being better than we were yesterday. But, even more than that, a black belt to me is someone, who doesn't need to brag or show off what they can do. They just do it. They do not waste their energy or their movements. They have gone through the ranks and been shown ways to save their energy and motions, and only move when needed. And deeper still, their movements are done instinctively. Movements, without moving. Effortless effort. Like one of my favorite quotes. "Be like water my friends. Water can crash or it can flow. Be water my friends." I know there's more to it, but that's my favorite part.
     For the rest of this year, I will continue on pushing hard for some of my goals. I plan on still crushing the quitting smoking thing. This is way harder than the drugs and alcohol man, holy I tell you what. Kids, don't let me catch you smoking. You thought your old man hit hard.... But, I have come to realise this one thing and its making this fight a lot harder. Our greatest gifts will come once we deserve them. Quitting smoking isn't the gift, its the freedom of life I receive that's the gift. My breath and blood pressure. That's the gift. So, I have a date set again. I'm going to quit again on my specific date. This time, like every other single time, I desire this a lot. I want to quit, like you people want to eat. I see the habits very deeply engrained into my being. I mean I got twenty years in the habit, so I have faced more walls than I ever thought where built. The little habits that I am constantly becoming aware of are wild. Never thought it was so embedded in me. So, wow, I honestly think this is the hardest fight of my life. But, I aint gonna quit quitting.
  
   Weeeeellllllllllll, I got some legos to build and gun wars to have. So, I better let you guys go for now. Thanks for your time.
Mr.Duncan

Wrong Cat to Mess With

    Why hello there. Saturday is here and the blog is early. Sunday I will be working again and today I get to go celebrate my youngest birthday party. Turning four he is. Fantastic. He is running in circles he is so excited. Well, I do not have much time to spare so lets get to it shall we?
  So, another week has passed with lots and lots of work involved. Winter is here and this is usually when my work kicks into high gear. Me and the crew where asked to go to the new Edmonton tower and help the boys hit their deadlines. My partner and I said to each other, so, we are going to take over this project, and we have. Our crew went from four to eight. My partner made foreman and the old foreman is now working with us. Yeah, we took over!! Hahaha. Its what we do. Awesomeness and efficiency can not be overlooked, and our hard work has been rewarded. And because of these changes we forced at work, we have been asked to stay the duration of the project!! Four to five more months of seven tens, with possible twelve's, if needed.
   Obviously kung fu has had to slow down and take a backseat role for now. Kung fu in the physical sense I should say. I have had more and more meetings and dealings with people, that time and energy has been desired from me. That's cool. I now like to help. Things from sparring change and smokes to giving a homeless person five or ten minutes to hear part of their story. I have found that yeah, there are lots of less fortunate that just want someone to listen and there are those to, who wish to do harm to others. I was stopped on the street by an older couple and listened to their story. Unfortunately, the sixty year old lady went into the soup kitchen to donate her time and was punched in the face by some loser. So, I do not think they will be back at that kitchen. But, the lesson from her conversation will always stay with me. She started talking to me about "those people" with hatred and racism. I really can not blame her, but I do not need to share the same views. Yes, I was not randomly punched by some psycho, but, I can feel the psychos pain and hatred. Once, I was at that point in live where I would randomly hurt happy people just wanting to help. I too, met aid with violence, so I can empathise. This lady told me you can not trust any Indian. I responded well you are native as well and you seem to be good people. She says, I am not an Indian, I am native American. There is a difference. Oh, I see. Okay. I see the analogy. So we parted ways after we finished our cigarettes and wished each other fair travels. She left me with lots to think about and even more to ponder and contemplate on my part in the situation. Even though, I had absolutely nothing to do with the whole situation, I can still be part of the solution. For one, I can start to look beyond the homelessness of it and start seeing them as humans, again. I can look beyond the skin tone and start looking at people as brothers and sisters in this thing we call humanity. Okay. I get the lesson. I silently thanked those two people who gave me their time and their lessons.
   Secondly, last week I had an atomic bomb dropped in my world. Through emails that I was not supposed to see, I learnt that my daughter will not be allowed to visit or hang out or talk to me near as much as we have been. Instead of sitting all parties down and pounding out our differences her grandparents decided to cut me and my family out and put her in counselling. Only recently has she developed bad habits, like lying and not studying. Only because of me has she developed these traits. Really!! Is that so! Sounds to me like someone needs to look at their part and maybe take ownership of their actions. I know for a fact I did nothing wrong but answer ignorance with knowledge and lies with truth. They do not like that I have told my daughter the truth. They do not like that kido wants to spend time with me as opposed to them. That's fine. You are going to rip her away from a positive role model who only wants her to be happy, for your own selfishness. Now I understand that parts of what I am saying are strictly emotional and may not be entirly true, but, when you have heard some of the things I have heard from kido and my mother, then to hear the fear in their voices when I show up to pick up kido, you can only think what I think. I try to be in tune with peoples emotions when they speak and I hear fear and hatred. I would be skeptical too.
    So, what does all of these recent lessons mean? Lots. There are lots of lessons here to be had. Tolerance. Love. Kindness. Patience. Everything I need more practice in. What am I going to do about this. Last time, I tried to light their house on fire. Hahaha! Fortunately I had people who refused to leave me alone for a few days while I calmed down. This time, I am going to light something on fire but it will not be their house. I could be angry, sad, fall into a depression and just want to hide in the corner. But, I will not. I will not give them the satisfaction of seeing me hurting. One, because I am not hurting. I did nothing wrong, this time. I was open and honest. I do not feel bad about anything that I did. I feel great about the small amount of time I had with my daughter. I feel we made huge progress. And two, more importantly, is they have motivated me, like you do not know. I will make them eat their words, not through anger and hatred, but by being absolutely amazing. Be being the exact opposite of what they think and then some. I will prove to them, through example, they messed up. So I owe them a thank you for throwing wood on this already scorching fire. This fire has absolutely consumed me. Now, not only do I look, how to be better, but whether I have the courage to help or not, I will help. I will step out of comfortable situations to be better than I ever imagined. You messed up son, now eat your hatred filled words. Here let me force feed your terrible decisions. and while I am shoving your terrible decisions politely, down your throat. I hope you choke on them. Then maybe you might open your eyes and see what damage you are causing. That is fine keep blaming me. Good! Do it! Come on! Keep fueling my fire. Come on you can do better than that. Really lay it on me. I know you want to so bring it on, fire trucks. I have already dealt with my part. I know exactly where I stand in this whole situation. I will continue to grow and evolve, and leave you in the dust. Hahaha. Here comes willie!!
   The old why so serious part of me keep screaming back at me. I am not fearful of it, but embracing it. The crazy side wants to come out and I let him. But, instead of being silly about things, its all about motivation. I have goals that will be accomplished in the sheep year. To achieve some of the numbers, going to be near impossible, but I will not label them impossible. More like a really great goal to hit. Year of the monkey? Yeah buddy. Going to rock that out of the park too. But with patience. 


Can you dig it?
Can you dig it, suckas!!
(remember the Warriors movie? Right at the beginning the gang leader talking to all the gangs? Uniting them all as one? Yeah that's what I feel like for like the last week!!)
  
  Yeah, that's right, im back. And better than ever. Messed with the wrong cat. I really want to drop some colourful language to really emphasise my part, but I don't want to insult or give the wrong impression of me.
   So, for right now, that is all. I need to get going for this party for my boy. I hope everyone has a great day and a better dragon practice.
Thanks for your time and I will see you soon.
Mr.Duncan

A Note

And then it was monday. Haha. the week has disappeared in some awesomeness at work mixed in with lots of kick-arse kung fu! Okay I'm really excited again. Not just for everything that is going on but, the results and kick backs a person receives. Looking into the future I am coming back for monkey year! That's exciting! I look to the escrima sticks and will continue with the stick training for goals for next year. But, wait, there is still this awesome year to complete. And you know, I do feel great about this year so far. Massive parts of my being have been dealt with. The freedom of having so much "stuff"' cleared out of your mind. The gifts of personal achievement. From solving and executing demons to building weapon forms. We are given a gift that is the I Ho Chaun. Its strictly up to us to reap the rewards if you might. I recognize the rewards but have a heck of a time with perspective. Constantly I kept looking at things as a sacrifice. Not as investment, like I should be doing. Time with the family versus kung fu. The battle of self doubt.
    Here for a second, I feel better about kung fu and I ho chaun now, because the future looks better. hehe. The light is at the end of tunnel thinking. This has been a crazy busy year for me and "trying to find time" has been really hard. Why? I am looking for an in-animate thing to begin with and its not about the time at all. It is about priorities. Setting, keeping and achieving goals. Staying the path. There are long term goals of mine that take hard work and commitment at this point in time. I need to keep looking at what I want in life and enjoy the work.
     Look guys I would love to stay longer but I am really tired. It has been a long weeks. Okay goodnight guys.
Mr.Duncan

Little Bit Of All

   Monday monday, here it has been! Lets start off by apologizing on the late blog. Yesterday was a day I really wanted to lie down and rest. Pancakes, pajamas, and blog. That was my plan for sunday. But, alas there were other plans planned for me. See here, the boys wanted me to go to their Christmas bingo game. I don't do bingo. Yesterday, I did bingo. And, you know, I was quite appreciative of the opportunity. There are people I know from around town and such. Was nice to see them again. I did not really talk to anyone. But, I did not cause harm with any negativity. I was pleasant and happy to be there. I was polite when approached. I carried quick and short conversations with whom I did speak with. Good times, indeed.
   I had noticed something when it comes to aok's. The things I did to start taking down numbers have become so engrained, I don't even notice I am doing them anymore. Not just that but, I have more confidence to do more than just holding a door, or having a quick conversation with someone. Like this older lady was having a heck of a time overcoming the conveyor stairs at west Edmonton mall. So I walked up to her. I was as nervous as she was. I smiled and promised it will be okay. I extended my hand. She took it and we held hands while she stepped onto the moving stairs. It was a really cool feeling when we were all done with the conveyor stairs. Yeah, that was neat. My wife was floored. haha. First for everything I suppose!
   The family life has been on fire. My time with Kido has been a blast. She is a really cool person. All she wants to do is help. My boys have been stuck to me like glue and its all real fantastic events. It would be nice if she would come to the house and hang out for a while, but, all in good time. I wish so bad, but one day. Maybe even soon. Meh, who knows. I do know my boys are just itching to play and hang with kido. I understand how that would be a lot. I mean, two completely different upbringings. Hers has been quiet and kind of peaceful, and ours is, well, two boys who like smashing.....everything. Ha. What a mind smashing that would be.
    Kung fu has been coming along very nicely. Sifu has been pushing the class on a few items. I really like those classes were you are pushed hard. And re-enforcing foot work. Expressing its importance. I really appreciate working with sifu, for just those reasons. The basics. Keep the basics shiny. We learn lots on this journey of kung fu. Lots of forms and movements. Lots of different techniques. Advanced and basic things. But the goal is always the basics. "Yeah, you can do lots of cool stuff, but if your stances is bad, then you have nothing." I find myself, consciously, looking at my stances, ensuring proper form. I can feel it now, like when I'm out. Even just a touch. Especially now that its been pointed out a few times. The awareness of bad form is very high. I'm always thinking about it now. Its a great place to keep looking at for improvement.
     I have my sights set on the escrima sticks this up and coming year. To the point that I near forgot about a stick form I have to show. Not really forgot, but backburnered. Oops. I haven't been spending a lot of time with the stick. Last week sifu asked if I could help the class, with some stick. That in itself really kicked my behind to get back on the stick form and keep polishing. I have a move I would like to integrate, but, I also, do not want to sabotage myself or my stick form. Having a move half figured out then trying to show some pile of dung to the public. No thanks. If I want that eye for detail to work for me, I kind of need to be unbiased, and not settle for less than I can truly produce, especially in my stick form.


Well every one, its another day in a few hours. I will see you soon.
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

Real Quick Like

Well, holy sunday is here. You know, its been a little chaotic with a side of short of time this week. Work has been full steam ahead, trying to finish up this roof on the winters gardens at work. But, more importantly, I had the chance to take my kido out on Friday night. Just her and I. That was nice. What a beautiful experience. We went to red robins for dinner. What an experience that was. The energy she emits is wild. The manager was doing her rounds talking to different patrons and eventually got to us. I was floored in what came out of kido's mouth. All she wants to do is help people. Its really heart warming. It was a good time. We finished the night playing mini golf and arcades. Good stuff. And then, today, we texted most of the night. I do enjoy talking to her any way I have.  
Well folks, I'm running on fours hours of sleep in the last fourty-eight. I am pretty whipped so I am gonna cut this short. Have a great week and I will see you next Friday night.


Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

Next Year

    Good day to you indeed. I am very happy with my progress this week. The smoking is getting easier and easier. I am on a path of eliminating the cigarettes outta my life. From a pack a day, I am now down to three a week. The little things helped. Self talk, the "I can do this talks" helped a lot. Folding paper cranes helped keep my hands busy, when sitting idle. I started out real strong this week, and kind of tapered off. But, I still managed to do better than almost all year. I kept the smoking to a minimum. And could this be easier with pills and doctor drugs to quit smoking? Probably, but, I am a firm believer, there isn't any thing the human spirit can not defeat. I think back to drinking. I needed human help, not a drug, to essentially replace one habit with the next. I have heard all the arguments, why I should use different drugs or patches. For example, the patch. So, instead of cutting nicotine out of life, I should subject myself to twenty-four hours of constant nicotine running through my system? Yeah, that's ridiculous. Last time I did the patch, I started smoking more, because now, your body wants more nicotine. I even would wake up, in the middle of the night to want to smoke while I was on the patch, because there is so much in my system. So, that idea is just silly. Someone, gave me the argument about the zyban pill. No thanks. I sleep terrible as it is. I do not want a drug to further destroy that. And hey, lets say something like, "doing it on your will power is going so well for you isn't it will?" And looking at my track record this year, yeah it isn't that great. I remember I got some advice on what some persons husbands friend did. So, ,my response is, you haven't fought or battled with addictions before. they said well no, never. Well, your advice is as useful as teets on a bull. If you haven't gone through it, or have never had an addiction then you do not know the fine details. Like the mental aspect of it. That's far greater than the physical addiction. That is what defeats so many people. Myself included. Just because you heard a story of what someone else has done, does not make you an expert. So, the best reprieve I have is, kung fu and folding cranes. Weird I know. Who knew folding paper could be so calming? Not me, that's for sure.
   Now, I got to talk about this. I have seen a blog or two about next years I Ho Chaun class. The year of the monkey. Well, I just do not know, if it is in the plan for next year. You see, its a combination of so many things right now. Maybe it is the hectic schedule I have been given lately. Maybe its the financial crush I feel every year at this exploitation of consumerism that is Christmas. I could go off on a wicked awesome rant about Christmas time, but, I will save that for another day. The I.H.C. has given me so much. I have seen and experienced so many ah-ha moments that this is a terribly tough decision. So I weighed the pros and cons of it. There is only two cons that I can think of. The seemingly never ending time away from the family and the financial hit, right at this time of the year. That money amount might not be a lot to some, but it is huge to me and my family. And to spend that kind of cash right now, would take away from the family. Me saying, no kids dad wants to continue to do kung fu, so, your x-mas is really going to suck. Like here is an orange with smiley faces painted on it. Cool, don't eat all two at once. you gotta play with this thing for the year. So I looked at the pros of I.H.C. Well, my entire year thus far has been amazing. Meeting new people. Got to know one or two of you other people. Got to see and be apart of some really awesome experiences. But, I am starting to get the guilt from the kids. "When can we hang out dad?" "Well, let me pencil you guys in for........sunday afternoon, after I do my blog and push up and sit ups and some forms. So I guess sunday night for an hour or two." Then I get the "whatever dad" Hmmm, wait a second, for someone who values his family so much, it doesn't seem like I do, not to them anyways. And hold on, the sacrifices that turn into investments. Yes lets go there, shall we.
   The sacrifices we make to be better martial artists, or people, are huge. I realise that. I completely understand the thought, we need to make huge sacrifices to be just a little better. I can not justify all the sacrifices any more. I can not handle the guilt of never being around for them. Work is something I must do at this time. I can not, not work. It is not a sacrifice. It is a necessity at this time. It has to happen. I have turned down some great jobs, so I can keep up with my commitments to the team. Turning down those jobs has hindered the families financial freedom, we normally have, to non-existant. I will soon be at a place where I have to work six possibly seven days a week just to play catch up. And once I make that commitment, then, I simply can not be at the kwoon. The engagement will become tiny, if there at all. I can not say with a clean conscious, yes I will make this commitment to be here as much as I can, and then be there for the team once a month, maybe, if I am lucky. So, my heart tells me, I have had lots of fun playing and building myself, but, the balance is about to kick me square in the groin. I would rather not get kicked in the junk, today or tomorrow. I would like to do the kicking for once. And, honestly, I have to do what is right for the family.
    So lets look at the facts for a moment. I Ho Chaun is moving to Thursday nights. Thursday nights are a no go for this cat. Why? Well, I go to AA meetings on Thursday nights. That's the one hour a week I get to re-connect with people like me. One hour a week to reset my sick mind. Those rooms saved my life, my family and gave me a new life. AA made kung fu available to me. AA gave me a reason to not pull the trigger. AA gave me far more than I realise or ever will. Now, to commit to next years I.H.C. I am going to have to miss a lot more meetings. Now, when sheep year started I completely re-arranged my AA program. I eliminated over half of the meetings I attended. That really hurt. In the beginning of sheep year, I near went back drinking. I started taking things for granted, like sobriety, and that may not seem like a deal to some, like what is the big deal with one. And that's the problem, one drink is too many for me. I know me and this program, very well, when it comes to this topic and unless you have gone through the program or are in a very intimate relationship with someone who is in the program, this may just sound like excuses and you will not understand. But, this is as life and death as it gets, for me and millions like me. They are not excuses, these are the facts of life for me. I am cool with that. Why is that such a big deal that I needed to blog on that. Well, I will put it like this, like I have numerous times before. If I do not have AA (sobriety) in my life, I do not get the glorious gifts like kung fu and family and my daughter coming back in my life. Everything I have achieved will be for nothing. If I loose AA, I loose everything. And so, I need to keep priorities in check and straight. I really do not know if I have another alcoholic recovery in me, again. Nor, do I ever want to find out!
   So there is the big reasons as to why I may not be there next year. I want to, but when I ask my heart, I hear one word, selfish. Now, that's not to say there are not options out there right. I could ask the team to video record the demo during the classes I will not be attending, so like all the classes, and then I could fill in the blanks as I can at home. But, with saying that, I have seen first hand that hoping to throw someone into the mix that hasn't been around for a while, really doesn't work and everyone can see that. That physical training with the team is absolutely needed. I could completely re-arrange my life again for I.H.C. That's probably not going to happen again, at this point in time. But, I think of when sifu spoke to us on what things used to be like. People travelling many, many miles to attend one meeting then to travel back home to train by themselves. That story alone has kept me on the fence of just saying "forget next year." That brief story alone has brought to light this blog and this very uneasy question to answer.
    So, honestly, I just don't know. I have tried to reach out to others like sifu asked us to try, only to fall on deaf ears. That's okay, people are busy. And maybe I did not try hard enough to reach out to others. No worries! But with everything being said, just because I may not join I.H.C. next year, who is to say I still cannot build an escrima form. Or continue to work on my stick form? Or to build my own hand form? Who is to say I cant take the lessons I have learnt from this year and apply them on my own? Sure it is going to be hard on my own, but, at one point or another, we need to get off of sifu's wings and fly on our own. Is that not the point of I Ho Chaun? To learn to grow and fly with out holding someone's hand? Here we learn the lessons and values to be being a true martial artist, but we still need to learn to apply them on our own. It is not like sifu will be around forever for us to hold onto. So maybe this year was about learning to trust myself and next year is going out and completely trusting myself. I can still blog, I can still do the movements, I can still do everything that is asked of I.H.C. I can still get the support of all those who decide to help. Nothing will change except for being part of a team. I have walked the solo road before, and I am okay with that. By yourself come the greatest gifts of all. You find out exactly who you are and what you stand for when faced with situations on your own.
   So there I am folks. Honestly, I do not like bring my program to the for-front like this, but, my life's story is for all the see. Transparency is the key to a successful life. Like in the post I put out there earlier this week. If I lead a transparent and honest life, I will be successful. I will be washed in friends and gifts of life. There might seem like I am missing some of the fine details and maybe I am. I probably am, and maybe some of you can help fill me in on things that I am missing. Constructive criticism is a beautiful thing. I hope my concerns are clear, or..... maybe I am just confused.


So, thanks for your time,
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan

Square One

    Hello everyone. How is your sunday. Good I hope. Mine is going well. So last week, I went on quite the vent session. But, heck man, getting those thoughts outta my mind and into yours felt pretty good. I really do not have a whole lot to talk about this week. From my last blog I received some real good feedback. When I read those comments, it re-affirmed the positive in my growth. The things that really matter. The good things in life. And with so much going on, I haven't been able to calm down and settle my mind. I did not give myself the time or the effort, that I really need to. So, I took some time, and re-wrote my goals and ambitions. Things that I would like to continue to work towards, and things I need to keep working on. I also, tossed some goals that are just not going to happen at this time. The time, effort, and the desire is just not there. The goals I have re-wrote and taken upon, though. Different story. I will continue training hard with stick and kempo. The value of these forms are in-measurable. Took almost six weeks to realise this. Bear with me, I not being egotistical with this, but I am trying to be realistic. Looking at the facts alone.
    My stick form, was conceived in my mind. I had really not picked up a stick before I Ho Chaun. There was no youtube, or internet research, on how to articulate this weapon, or strike with this weapon. I did ask for help throughout the forms creation. If I did not know how to do something, I asked for help, then figured it out at home. Came back the next week and asked again. Like my jumping 450 spin. I wanted to learn how to do that, so I asked and asked and practiced. It still needs a lot of work, but six months ago, the spin was a flat on my face moment. I would go home after class and yell at the missus "hey come look and see! Watch this honey" and as bad or as good as it was she encouraged me. She saw I was trying my hardest, and encouraged the energy and the effort. I would take the form to my thinking corner and draw it out. Explore the vectors. Figured out what direction I needed to be spinning. Illustrate each move on paper and then work to put paper into action. I wanted this stick form to be epic. and to others it may not be, but to me, this stick form is epic. A creation from my mind that is positive. I looked back over this week and saw the efforts I put into the thing. I can look back and see the results of that time and effort. I feel good about the form. I am proud of the form. I am proud of myself, for sticking with it and creating that form. Yes I needed help with the moves, but do you think sifu would have done it for me? Would he have built this form just for me? Of course not, they helped and guided, I simply put in the time and effort. So, I mean that's a real cool realisation.
    I have been doing probably more thinking then I should have this week, but, something else hit me. All this doubt and pity party crap I have been rolling in lately is due to one thing and one thing alone. My lack of self believe. My lack of trust in my heart. Of my abilities, at work and at the kwoon. So concerned about what others might think or do think, that I forget, I have the ability to do awesome in my tasks. I am a solid ironworker, I am a good dad, husband and I am a good martial artist. I just built a fricken kick ass weapon form. So, of course, I started doing more research on this self-believe. How can I build up my confidence? How do I take that first step? Well, one thing I came to learn is that, I really just need to take that first step. I am so worried about, failing or looking stupid, that I talk myself out of just taking the step. I step up to do something and a huge part of me wants to immediately run away. When, I quit drinking, that was not an easy step, but I did see what was honestly happening, a slow self-induced booze suicide, so I took a leap of faith. So, I know for a fact asking for help is crucial in the first step, but, eventually, I got to take it. The owness really and truly falls on me.
    So, a big week in my mind. I have plan written out. I have some time before my next job starts to implement some changes. It is incredibly tough to make alterations when I running around like a man on fire. So, I have the time to stop and ask, does this aid in my crusade? Is smoking going to help me achieve a black belt? How about the drugs. Are they helping in my aid to bring calmness and clarity to my mind? What about my family, how do they aid in my journey? But, not just to say yes or no appropriately, what am I going to do about it? Some things have to just stop, while other things need to stay within my perspective while I walk this journey. I have to do something about my smoking, like I have said before, I have plateaued. And until I quit smoking, I will not hit the next level. This is as good as I will ever be if I keep smoking. Sure, I can get better, but, no, not really, I don't/won't believe it. The drugs, I used to believe I was hitting some higher sense of spiritualism with my buzz, but, those are merely the justifications I use to use. Honestly, if the mind is fuzzy and im thinking about doritos and chocolate milk while trying to "meditate" how much truth will come through? Not much, I have tried, hundreds of times. That one I do not need advice on!
    So, this week, I took the advice of all who reached out through the blog and I will implement what I can. I will continue to push on. Realising this one thing alone really helped me out. That happiness and personal satisfaction and wisdom come from the inside. I can not look to my children for my happiness. I can not get personal satisfaction from sifu, nor can I receive wisdom without experience. Experience will not come unless I take that first step. I can throw out all the theories I want, but, like a mad scientist, unless I stand the lighting tower and hook the jumper cables to my own neck, I will not get the experiences I am after. Haha, I like that analogy. Eore is wandering through the graveyard, digging up random graves. I'm like , man where are all the secrets to life. Looking in grave for the secret to life for this monster I am building, when its truly inside of me. My heart. Give that monster my heart and will could turn into a friend, eh?......What?!?! Yeah that sounded way better in my head!
    So, things are together-ish. Its all about taking that step again. I remember when we  first started this I.H.C. and sifu spoke about getting de-railed, and how hard it can be to get back on track. Yup, had to experience that one first hand. Its good though, things truly are. There is not one thing I want except to learn and grow from this experience. I guess I needed five or six weeks to learn this lesson. Even in that tought, though, sure I lost six weeks of numbers, but the growth was truly inside. Maybe my lesson this year in I.H.C. is to learn to believe in myself. Maybe that's all I am supposed to learn, before I can continue on. I have the theory behind me now, lets put this into action and see what happens.


Well, that's all folks
Have a great day
Mr.Duncan

Kind of Cloudy Out

   So we meet again. On another fine sunday morning. So, wowsers, this year is almost complete. And I looked back at my numbers last week, really set me into a reverse thought process. The guilt I mentioned last week, really took over. I gave that emotion power over myself and then hid under a rock. Silly I know. Quite honestly, where I am today, is I want to leave the challenge. I am tired, sore, and really just do not want to do anything. The pity party is full time right now. I have all sorts of excuses as to why I should leave. All sorts of excuses as to why it is so hard. I really do not like excuses. But, I find myself swimming in them. Parts of my training is coming exceptionally well. Like the emotional content. The inside stuff, is seemingly doing and coming along well. I try to push to be a better person each and every day. But the other side of me wants to freak out. Really I am kind of sick of being so nice all the time. Being nice to random people is not something I have ever strived to do. Except now. Now I have to. I am recording all sorts of A.O.K. but they are starting to seem like empty promises. The heart that should be behind the act of kindness, just doesn't seem to be there.
    Ever since the tiger challenge ended, I have that feeling of emptiness. All year the tiger challenge was my goal. That was what I shot for. Now, it is over and I need to wait another eleven months, and I am bored. These blogs are for us to relay where we are and how we are doing and I am bored. Kempo, boring. My stick form, boring. The repetitiveness has turned to an emptiness and I am bored. Normally when I get bored, I move on. Move to the next thing. Today I do realise that boredom is apart of the journey. I have hit a lull, and I need to find a way to stay or get engaged again. Training in Onoway, is lots of fun, because of the randomness of class, but, I am bored. I have hit a lul. And I know, I have been saying for a few weeks that I will get back on track, I will be back up there, where I want to be in the next twenty-four hours. But, I am frustrated because I am bored. So, I picked up a new weapon. Eskrima sticks. I have a hope and a dream that this weapon will, re-encourage me into being awesome with my numbers again. Haha, what a ludacris idea. I am placing my feelings and emotions into two sticks. Like some guy on the street corner shouting over a megaphone "this stick right here is going to make me feel better!! And for a small fee, these sticks can help you too!" Sounds silly and it is. I recognize that.
   It does not help that I keep going back to the drugs. I get a two, three weeks in and I say to myself, "It will be different, this time. You will see." I mean, the usage is not as bad as it has been, but it is what is happening in my mind. I figured after the tiger challenge, sure, I can reward myself. Smoke a joint, take the night off. Then I have a great big old bag of dope and smoking that electric lettuce like its going out of style. The frustrations are really exemplified, when using. My cigarette smoking is absolutely infuriating. The guilt from lighting a smoke is holy crap. And I am trying, just not very hard. I have half smokes. I light a smoke take a drag and throw it away. But I am still smoking. Frustrating. I figured I would have at least three or four months by now. Not even an hour. Sometimes I really hate being who I am some days. There are parts of me I cant stand, but, trying to change is such a fear-full event. That's why I don't change. I am scared. Scared of becoming and evolving into something awesome. Sure I am pretty neat right now, but, I could be better. I recognize that throwing a pity party and being the center of attention, is not productive. In fact, it is quite the opposite.  
    Then, I take a look around and see people like sifu Beckett. Just re-learning how to walk. And she is doing so awesome. She is struggling, but she hasn't quit, not for one moment, not from what I have seen. And then, here I am, feeling sorry for myself because, I am addicted to all the wrong things. Its like, "just get over yourself will. What is your issue buddy?" I am very thankful for the examples that have been put in front of my. Mrs. Bergestrieser, hit by cars, busted knees and she is still rocking out. People are working out of town, and they seems to be doing well. But, all in all, comparing myself to others is not fair to myself. I have never done a challenge like this, so, I guess I can use that excuse. This is my first year, and I think, I have done well, so far. I am nowhere close to others, but I am much further ahead, then I was last year. Even yesterday, I have grown from yesterday. I see that and embrace that idea. I am growing, each and every day. It is all I got lately.
    I have had a huge event rock my life, but only because I am allowing this outside circumstance control my happiness. I got to have a hot chocolate and a donut with my little girl yesterday, and the absolute lies and bullshit, that this kid knows about me, that is simply enraging. I used to lock her in dark closets!?! I used to try to choke out her mother!?! No that was her friend. Should have minded his tongue. And that was one time only. Where in the sweet muther trucker did that come from. I used to hurt people, but, my daughter? I don't think so people. Yeah, I was a lunatic, but I took it out to the streets. I only restrained the ex once, after she air mailed a hot cup of coffee to me. Haha! Bad night. Other wise I kept my hands to myself. I grew up in a house like that, and I wasn't going to pull a repeat. One thing I really hate doing is defending myself from lies, because someone resents me. So, awesome, I knew there was some dirt out there about me. I knew there are lies and rumors about me out there, but mess around, with my daughter. Really. Really man. Like I kind of want to find my ex and ask her what is your fricken problem man. Saying that though, how productive would that be. To seep down to her level. No, I wont. But I did try to re-affirm to my daughter, that I am no longer that person. And that is all I did. Whether it is a lie or not, I apologized for my actions and carried on. I broke it down really easy like for her, and told her a soft version of who I was, what happened, and who I am today. I asked for one opportunity to prove I am not that person anymore. And I asked for one opportunity to be her daddy. I wont ever leave her ever again. That just wont happen again.
   Because, really, I should not care, what others think of me. But, I do care what my kids think. And that is what happened. My daughter accused me of something that doesn't even begin to make sense, and I need to lovingly repair the situation. Even though its complete crap, I need to fix the issue. With only the truth. With only love. I will not stoop to a mud-slinging, name stomping pissing match. That is not proper, nor does any one benefit, from that. All I teach is ignorance, and all kids learn is hatred. Besides karma, has already dealt with the ex. So, no need to get in there.
    I can not blame anyone. I was a loser when I was a kid. And it has been eight years since they have last seen me, and I did not leave anyone with a good impression. So, yeah, all they know is the old me, and that is fine. But, maybe try to stop looking at the past for an idea of who I am. Maybe, try talking to me, and asking me a question. But, maybe, just maybe, they are still scared or nervous to be around me. I mean, I did beat down my ex's brother the very first moment I met him. Caused a bar fight, got banned for a month or something. That was a crazy night. Wild party, I thought it was a wicked night. So, hmm, that's weird, that they don't like me! Good, still paying for my mistakes as a kid. That will never change.
   This where I was going to write some paragraph about being re-motivated and look out world here comes will. Maybe I will next week, but I can not and will not keep writing about false prophecies. But, I will keep writing about where I honestly am today
So, there it is folks. You now, know what I know.
Thanks for your time
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan

Peaks and Valleys

    Howdy everyone. Another fine day indeed. I really do not know where to start or what to speak about today. I really have been a mountain range this last week. Peaks and valleys like they are going out of style. So, forgive me if my blog is a mess all over the place today.  I am not quite sure where or why I am like this. I honestly, believe it has a lot to do with the last few weeks of tornado like events. And, all those events, meeting my daughter, the tiger challenge, and different situations at work, others expectations of me, has added up and has created a completely new person. I am not the same person as I was three weeks ago. I am drastically different. Perceptions and outlooks at life have been gut-checked. My little world was rocked first by my oldest daughter coming into my life. I had asked for help and what would you do questions all over the place. I received all sorts of input and advice, but, I came to realise that of all my friends and acquaintances, I am the first to go through re-introducing ourselves to a lost child. There are many people I know, who have lost children due to drinking or drug problems. Or have walked out of children's lives, or have had their families turn their backs on people like me. So, as helpful as people want to be, there hasn't been very much good stuff I can use to ease into this. But, I realized there is no easy way to ease into this. She is completely different than us. The way she is being raised and her outlooks and perceptions are completely different than me and the wife and boys. So far, all I have is, showing love and kindness. And so far, that is all I have needed to show. There has been times where her and I have been texting and she is so concerned about me having to go to class or whatever and she is just focused on me leaving again. I tried to explain the theory I understand that is staying in the moment. Haha. I could feel the "what the heck is my dad talking about now" through the phone. With saying that, that is all I have to offer. She obviously doesn't want me to leave her again, but, she realises that I have stuff and things to do. So, I can feel her mixed emotions and I understand. One thing I do get, is emotional confusion. But, its all good. I try to stay open and positive for all to see.
    I have truly embraced the idea, that our lives are ours to share. That it would be selfish to not tell my story. Okay, I got it. That is something I can do. And the results are truly glorious. I am finding, that, the more open and honest I stay, the more good things happen to me. And not material things either. Gifts that really matter. Friendship, true love. Real, raw emotions. Happiness. I was deep in thought last night and bam like a freight train it hits me. That, my greatest gift to give is my life and my kindness. Not always do I need to give my life to something, but sharing honestly, is giving my life away. When I share with my friends, I am giving them a piece of my life. I am taking the experience, strength and hope of my story and literally giving it to them. Really any one whom asks, I will give a piece of my life. Wow! Never thought it possible. But again, its the small miracles that happen that make our lives worthwhile. And I learnt that, every small tiny thing adds up to something much greater. All these events add up to who I am. And who I am, is a result of all these events and circumstances coming together. The universe or a god of some sort, putting the puzzle pieces in place for me to embrace. I just need to keep on keeping on.
   Well, then the physical-ness of my kung fu has not come back to where I want it to, but, I have not made the sacrifices I have in the past to get my numbers back up to one thousand a week mark. But, I have been making progress. Slow and steady I have knocked off another couple hundred push up and sit ups. These motions are exceptionally difficult to do with a thirty pound four month old puppy wanting to play and lay on me. So, instead of getting angry that he is taking away from my training, I embrace him for his love. He is just a puppy I have to remind myself. And he is a fine puppy at that. Other things have taken away time from training. Time with all my kids. Everyone wants to ensure dad is not forgetting about any of them. That's okay, I can step outta my world to ensure my kids are getting enough. Their worlds have been rocked too. I can not forget about them either. But this week, I hope to be different. I truly want to get back to where I was. Like two months ago. Well, I can not go back and have that same experience, but, I can strive for that desire again. Push for those results. And I will. I will get back their. This year is almost finished and there are goals, that I have to accomplish and work on, yet. Feels overwhelming, but it is. Only because I left things to the back burner for so long. Now, things are adding up and guilt has started to creep in. Changes are in order, and hopefully, with lots of hard work, changes will take place.
     Saturday, I was in a mood. Willie just wanted to smash. After dragon practice, someone asks me, "hey man you all right?" There was sincerity in his voice. It sounded like he really cared, and that one small question alone, helped make me feel better. That one question took me out of my funk and into service if you might. I have a theory that if someone asks an honest question, then I must give an equally honest answer. It doesn't mean I get to be rude and freak out, but return the friendliness I was given. So, thanks Mr.Kohut for simply asking how I was doing. It felt nice to feel someone caring enough to work up the courage to ask if I needed help. I know I am not the most friendly looking, when I get into a funk. Even talking to myself when I get like that can be scary business!!
    So, why am I all over the place. I think it is trying to sort out all these new emotions. Trying to understand what these new events and circumstances mean and entail in my life. Then how do I fit everything together. It is a lot to comprehend and even more to fully understand. I almost always  go into an emotionally roller coaster after something changes or happens in my life. The best part is working through all this jazz to find out who I have changed into. Who am I today, if you might. I do accept the challenge, and with time and practice, the roller coasters will be less and less frequent. Things will level out. I know they will, its just a matter of forward motions.

Well, I think that is everything for now.
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan

No Longer A Door There

    Hey ya everyone. So, how was your day? I know mine was fantastic. Saturday was intense. The tiger challenge was a great experience. Seeing and watching everyone have a time of their lives. Good stuff. The kids was a lot of fun. Watching the kids laugh and smiling, made the day by itself worthwhile. You know I was kind of worried. For a while it seemed my little girl wasn't going to make it. I watched the door until ten but, alas, no sign of her. Then my division was called upon and then poof there she was. Perfect timing, I thought. What a wonderful day. Getting to preform in front of my daughter. Wicked. And on my birthday on top of it all. What a gift man. Yesterday, for me, truly was a sign that I am going in the right direction. The big guy upstairs, said, "okay, Will, Here is everything you care about. Everything you really desire in life. I will make this come together for you. Just, stay on the path and keep working hard." And so I will. I took the rest of yesterday to celebrate with all my kids. They wanted to go to mcdonalds, which I don't understand why kids like that place so much, but that is where they wanted to go. And to think I near stayed behind at the kwoon and missed a golden egg of opportunities. To be able to sit and watch Sarah and the boys get along so well, is something dreams is made of. Semi trucker, I am a very fortunate fellow. I was honestly surprised at how well, Sarah and Alex especially just clicked. Seemed like love at first sight. And holy Toledo, they look and act alike!
   And I had a blast with Mr.Kirkland. I think that was his name. I have not trained with someone like that since I was in the streets if you know what I mean. I am so used to nice and slow and easy does it. This guy was as intense as I was. Awesome. I hope to spar with him more often. Even while taking a shot to the mouth, I was smiling. It is nice to "have a go with" someone like me. So, sparring was a lot of fun, like always. And I did learn a lot about where my "skills" are so to say. Apparently I drop my left while attacking and do not use my right enough. Okay. I can definatly work on those things.
   I was very, very happy I did as well as I did with stick and kempo forms. Especially stick. I have raised that form from step one. The only outsourcing I did was with sifu on a Saturday afternoon or Friday night. Hey how do you do this? Then I get some homework. The next week repeat, said process. For thirty-three seconds, I got to showcase, what all those hours in can produce. Awesome. I was so excited, well, I still am!!
   I was a little disappointed about my board-breaking, but, I got from great feedback from one of the judges, and boom, broke that last board. Higher he says, its to low for you. Okay thanks sifu, I will remember that tid-bit for next time. And I might have more success if I don't kick Sihing Chevenka's fingers!! Haha. Sorry again dude.
   So, I think that, the tournament was a huge success. I did well with the events I entered, everyone seemed to do awesome. and I got to spend my birthday with my whole family, wonderful friends and everyone in between. But, my favorite part was having my family come together, at the kwoon. That so made my day. I hope there is lots more of that to come. What a better place to rebuild a family then at a place with no judgement and everyone seems to care. It seems, everyone wants the reunion to work as much, if not more than I. What a day. What a life. I do not know how to express all this gratitude I have in my life right now. Except to just tell everyone, how grateful I am. I couldn't have had a better b-day even if I tried.
   So thanks to all for making this such a fantastic day. Could not have done it with out you. So thanks to all, for all your work and dedication.


Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan

Opening a Door

hey everyone what a day indeed!! So, BOOM, I got to sit down and meet my little girl Saturday afternoon. Holy horse poop, that was the best day of my life! With out a doubt, man alive, cloud nine? No. Cloud nine doesn't exist anymore. I lite that on fire. I am simply euphoric. No other words can compare to expressing my sense of wowie today!
   So here goes. A year and a half ago, I made a very tough phone call and made an amendment to my ex-mother in law. I explained that I was not the same person they once knew me as. I had commenced on a new journey and a new way of life. I was open and honest with her. No more secrets. I have nothing to hide any more. She was very thankful, for the phone call and the update on my life. She asked if I wanted to push for Sarah in my life. I did express I lost that privilege when I walked away, and that they have all of my trust to make the right decision to bring me into Sarah's life. From that phone call on, Sarah's grandparents really started showing interest in me and my family. Through faceook and other means of social media. And my girl had questions and more questions. Her interest seemed positive. Well, last Saturday, my mom ran into Sarah and her grandma. That very timely interaction lead to an immediate plan for the upcoming Saturday to have tea/coffee, just the three of them. I was ecstatic, but, still, I stayed in the background. I truly wanted to keep my motives clear. Whenever, my baby was ready to meet me. I could not, with a clear conscious, barge in on that meeting without being invited. Last Tuesday night, Sarah woke up crying for me, I was informed, she then asked if I could be there on the upcoming Saturday. Heck yeah, I told my mom. I do not care what I miss, it will not be that get together!
    Boy was I in "all over the map mode" for the next week. My mind raced like freight train. The "what-ifs" set in. I started to ruin the situation in my mind, before it even happened. I realised, quickly, what was happening. I asked for help, and I received it. I asked Sifu for advice, and it was the most constructive I think. He reminded me to simply enjoy the moment for what it truly is. Just enjoy her presence. What a gift that was. I was thinking about having to explain myself and how can you explain these things to a kid. And all these other thoughts like that. Nope. Just enjoy the moment.
    So, the day finally came after an excruciatingly long wait, Hours seemed like days. Minutes like hours. But then, all of a sudden, I hear the word "Dad?"  Then after an awkward approach, I have my daughter in my arms, holding her tight. Not ever wanting to let go. What a feeling of wow! I still do not have the words for that moment in time. Joy, happiness, that will have to work. Bam, right in the face, all these emotions hit. Thankfully, we were walking into the restraunt and I caught my breath. Where am I? What time is it? What am I doing? Here, now, meeting my daughter. The rest of the meeting went amazing. She seemed to loosen up and kind of warm up to me. Cant blame her, it has been eight years. I would be leery too. Boy oh boy, what a feeling. I kept my motives pure and just concentrated on her and what she was talking about or showing me or even just sitting there. Man we drew pictures for each other, played x's and o's. She made a slide show on her device to show me. Pictures of her kitten and her dance pictures. Boy, she kicks ass at dance. She is eleven and dancing with sixteen year old girls. She has 32 medals and trophies from her dancing. Hold the phone that's really awesome. And her hair, man it looked like gold, and its so long. Wow, she is pretty.
    We chilled for three hours and just talked and talked. We shared a plate of chicken fingers and fries. I was supposed to go to a get-together, that night, but there was no way I was leaving without my baby girl leaving. But, you know, as nervous and anxious as everyone was the warm embrace before we parted ways for the night was satisfying. I, today, am a very content. This is, what I have been working towards for over eight years now. That moment in time, made every painful day worth it. Every success, every disappointment, every time I wanted to quit but did not, was rewarded in a ten second moment in time. One amazing hug! Its true, the rewards are not as large or as often as the sacrifices and the time we put in, but, the rewards are satisfying beyond belief. Never have I known happy, joyous and free, like I know today. We will be amazed before we are half way through. And this guy right here is in complete awe!
     All because I went to a program that asked me to look at my side of the street. To look at and repair what I ruined. All because I said, "yes, I want to change, can I have your help?"  The immense feeling of gratefulness I have today is immeasurable. There is no measuring cup that can measure this amount of love folks. I thought for a quick second on Wednesday, I don't deserve this. That little voice in my head, reminded me that this meeting up was not for me. It was for my daughter. She needs this more than ever. And maybe I can get outta the way and just try to be there this time. What an opportunity, man alive. I am one lucky guy.
    You know, through all of that, I still managed to talk to her about Silent River Kung Fu. Haha! Kung fu was still resonating in my mind every so brightly. The lessons I have learnt where put to the test. I think I did well. Things I wanted to say and blurt all over the place. But I did not. I kept on breathing and focusing my energy on her. I asked if she has ever seen a tradition lion dance. I asked if she has ever seen a kung fu tournament. I told her about ours and proceeded to ask if she wanted to come and watch the tournament. She says yes. I tell her what events I'm in and she likes the board breaking. She wants to see it done first hand. I said, oh yeah there is going to be boards breaking. I'm going to break my boards all over the place!! That made her laugh. So, hopefully, if she is feeling confident enough, she will come to watch the tiger challenge. Now, I am really pumped! I thought I was jacked before, now, I'm motivated people!! Amazing, I finally, get to prove, just what kind of a man her daddy truly is. I do not know if you know how empowering that is? How amazing it feels, to get to show by example. She heard about it, now she gets to really see what happens when someone works hard for change. When they just don't quit. When nothing can hold you back from obtaining a goal. And you're just....obsessed with becoming a better person. Obsession; a beautiful thing.
   Really quickly, I read in this book recently, that it is my life, yes, but the key to a good life is sharing our life's with each other. It is selfish to keep our lives secret. True gifts come from sharing our life story with each other.
  
Anyhow, so there you have it. That is where I am. Euphoric and proud to be here.


Thanks for your time
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan

A Good Week

     Well, happy thanksgiving today. And what a heck of a day out there. Holy wind batman! I am not too sure on what to write about today. It just very well could be a short blog today.  So dragon practice was really wicked yesterday. We learnt and worked on a new move. Boy I think it looks good thus far. Lots of work ahead of us, but, it will be worth it. My stick form is coming nicely. I thought, a few weeks ago, that the stick form was "done." I figured I had it all figured out and just needed to work on smoothing things out. Then I asked why I seemed to be fumbling at certain spots in the form. And, thus, new moves added, old moves removed. I think it is way better than a few weeks ago. Again I am very excited about my stick form. Ever since the forms seminar, that fire has been re-kindled. On all accounts. I am doing kempo lots again. Honestly I was bored with Kempo. And for only doing it a few hundred times, I did not think  boredom would set in this early in the challenge. Even though we are nine months into this journey. But, alas, I am fired up again. What a wonderful feeling.
    The tiger challenge is coming up fast and furious and man, am I looking forward to it. I am really excited on how well I will do. I am looking forward to seeing just how well I will do. Not in competition against anyone but myself. I want to push myself and do well, and hopefully, I will do well. The tiger challenge will be an amazing way to see where I am in the journey, versus, my expectations, if you might. I have placed hopes and dreams into this challenge and hopefully, they come true. And, if I don't, do as well as I hope, then I better train harder next year.
   The topic of I.H.C. has been coming up lots for next year and it has been taking the majority of my attention and thoughts. I really do want to attend next year, but, I have some serious challenges to work through to make it work, for next year. Like I have said before, Thursday nights, are very much needed for my mental health and well-being. Thursday nights I hang with people who are very much like me. We go to these rooms for one reason and one reason only. To stay mentally fit and healthy. To ensure, we stay sober and on the right path. These weekly meetings are in place to give us a place to go once a week, where everyone truly understands and does not judge. These rooms, though dealing with some of the lowest people around, are a very safe haven, for us. Lots of warmth and love here. Why, in these rooms, I learnt what the word love actually means. I learnt the value of being a human. I learnt the value of being kind and trying to be better than yesterday. Kung fu gives me a place to practice these lesson in the real word. So back to next years I.H.C. It felt, like a giant brick wall was placed in my way for next year. Honestly, at first it felt like, the decision to attend was taken from me. I felt very defensive and backed into a corner. I know that is not what anyone wanted or tried to do. It is just how I felt. Felt like, "how could you do this to me? I don't deserve this." But, hey that's selfish. For the greater  good, I kept thinking. What works best for everyone. Not just me. So, I have come up with a plan. If things fall apart, I will have to look at plan B. So the just of it, I can not attend every class, or very many at that matter, but I will be around. More of a chilling in the back, giving off the support that I can. I am kind of disappointed in the amount of classes I will be missing, but, honestly, if I work hard on my places in the demos, and on my forms, then it should not be an issue. So, I am getting excited for what is coming, but, I need to remember, just where I am today. And just as importantly, what I am doing.
    I have been feeling and hearing a lot of popping and clicking in my shoulders lately. This past week, I wanted to run my numbers up high, but I kept hearing pop, pop, click, in the right shoulder and click, click in the left. This has been happening for the better part of a month, but, I just kept pushing through. I talked to a friend about this and he mentioned, moving the hands around. Different positions and hand placements to help build the micro-muscles around the joints. So, I started doing so, more than I have in the past. But I still hear the pops and clicks. Okay, not a big deal. I can continue to keep my push-ups lower, while making progress. Okay, not a big deal. I hit around one hundred and things start going south. So, I need to remember, to push, but not injure myself. I really need my body for my job, so I have to be smart here.


Okay everyone, that's it for now.
I hope to see everyone soon
Mr.Duncan

The Obsession

    Good day to all!! Lets get to business shall we. So this past week has been very invigorating. A few realisations hit hard, and some understandings came fast and furious. Lets go back to last weekend. The forms seminar. I was lucky enough to have had the opportunity to learn the school's dragon technique. And like I said last week, it was amazing. The technique itself, is a serious challenge. This is way above my pay grade, but, I love a good challenge, especially in a passions. Then last sunday, I had to exercise my last demon, that I know of. And while I was taking care of business, the dragon kept coming to me. Stayed on the for-front of my mind. You know, I had some serious business to take care of and distractions, needed to be at a minimum. But, these thoughts about the form I just learnt, were not overly distracting. They were very, very empowering. So, I paused and thought, why was I allowed to learn this technique? Why was I allowed to have this gift? What is the greater lesson here? And kaboom, right in the face. It hit me. I needed to learn this form, so I could learn the true value of forward, unstoppable motion. When I work my outside programs, I need forward smashing motions. No time to look into the past and stay there. Look into the past, find the issue, pull it into the daylight and then destroy it. Okay, I thought and I applied that thought to my program. Demons chased, tormented, taunted, and then finally exercised. Man, I could seriously see the image of a dragon in my mind, chasing demons out of dark corners, picking them up and dragging them, kicking and screaming, to the for-front. Oh, it feels so good to have a clear conscious, again.
    As the week wore on, I kept remembering the lessons that the dragon taught me and I kept thinking, how can I apply this technique to my life. I must pause for a second and say this. I have found, that while doing this technique, I have got to have a clear mind. I cannot go through the motions, in my mind while trying to conduct this form. I must be calm and clear-minded. I love the opening to this technique. The foot stomp. Here I am you...people. Hear me roar!! I just applied those thoughts to my daily activities and wowie, what results. I kept asking how can I continue to embrace this gift and utilise it to the best of my abilities? That one came quickly. One foot in front of the other. Keep moving forward and honestly dismantle the challenges as they come. And this past week at work went fantastic. Confidence was kept high. There was no second guessing myself. I would give my crew directions and not feel the need to second guess my directions. I tried very hard to give clear, concise directions. I feel I had great success as a leader at work, this week, thanks to the gift I have recently been given.
    So, I also pondered, how can I make this technique work in my fighting style? To the heavy bag!! And to the heavy bag I went. Thursday night, I spent the better part of an hour and a half, figuring and thinking and doing some more figuring. I have found the connection between my style and dragon style. I worked hard at getting the two to work as one. I feel, I made a huge connection. This honestly feels like these combos have always been inside of me, and now these combos have seen the light and just came screaming out of me. Movements clicked. Motions made immediate sense. And the flow. That did not come until, I received some great help Saturday at open training. But, now, the flow is on fire. Friday, I received some great feedback about protecting myself during these combos. Today, I woke up and realised, I now have a new piece of artillery, that's equivalent to an atomic bomb. Yeah, that's right a fricken huge life altering weapon.
   I can not express the amount of love I have for this technique. Who would have known, that seven movements, would have such a huge impact on my life. That's it. Seven moves. But, it is very calculated. No wasted energy. Absolutely every ounce of everything I have, in seven very destructive movements. Love it!!!
    Speaking of dragons, the dragon dance I feel is coming awesome. Go team dragon!! Like I have said, this dragon dance is going to be stellar. And then to throw a lion dance in there and have the two interact. SWEET!! This is going to be just....amazing. I am really looking forward to watching this evolve. Then to be a part of it for all to see and gawk at. That's powerful stuff. Time to step up the involvement and intentions. Time to really make this happen. I hope all can attend and be apart of the dragon. But, what is even more powerful than that, is the demo. We are doing the demo and them blamo, Mr.Repay jumps on in, on his part and fits right in. Awesome. I was inspired to watch that happen. It changed a few things, and the length of a few peoples parts, but, I mean, everything seemed to work well. Man alive, I was floating high after that. Unfortunately, the team is loosing a huge teammate, in a few days, for a fair bit of time. That's cool though. Mr.Sollinger leads by example and has shown the rest of the team, just what exactly needs to be done, to make this demo as epic as it can be. So not to worry my friend, I will do what I can to fill the void until you return from your awesome trip. Have a great time!!
    And finally, kung fu has really come back to me. The last few weeks, were terrible. But, that's okay. I needed to feel the value not doing much, to truly appreciate the value of doing these requirements. Too bad, I lost so much ground in the process. Meh, not to worry, I will bounce back quickly. For me, I cannot appreciate the good times, if I forget all about bad times. You don't know how good the light feels, until you fall back into the darkness. Obviously, I needed a reminder. Okay I learnt my lesson. Quit becoming so darn complacent, in everything I do. Try paying attention to the little things in life. Try being humble again, Will. Maybe just for today.


So, that is all for now.
Can not wait to see everyone again soon!
Mr.Duncan

Just For Today

    Hello all. How is everyone doing. What a day, what a weekend, what a week. Wowie. My wife was gone in Calgary on business and I got to play mr.Mom. That was a lot of fun. With my boys and the dog, is was a huge look into her life. Everything that she does to keep the house going round. Its quite amazing, all that she does. I feel, my youngest and I did some great bonding. I spent a lot of time just concentrating on him and what he wanted to do. Play, daddy, play with me. How do you say no? I could not. Nor did I want to say no. So I spent a lot of time playing guys, cars, wrestling and  cuddling my little guy. Loved it.
   So forms seminar eh!?! Who else had their minds blown right outta their skulls? Yup, I did. Man alive that was so cool. I didn't have much time to look and admire what others where doing as sifu was all over me, for reps, and proper everything. Wow. For such a small technique, there is so much to it. I really had to forget, what I have been taught in kempo style and learn a complete new everything in those few hours. A serious challenge and I loved it. Even though I fell apart while presenting the form to the group. That was seriously messed up. Haha. Its okay. thankfully, I had the chance to try again. I was going to ask to do it again, if sifu had not presented the chance. But, I mean everything had to be retaught. The stance, the strikes, the movements, finding center in my hips, but most importantly, my intentions needed to be clear. I found, while learning the form, if there was any noise in my mind, I would mess it up. I mean any noise. Even going through the motions in my head as I was doing them. Had to be centered and mindful. Maybe, yesterday was the lesson in effortless effort. Maybe. That's what happened in front of all. my mind was racing. Then I messed up the first time and, I was like great, everyone's watching this, don't fall apart man. Breath, I say, breath. But panic kept kicking in and just chocked me out. I wanted to just keep trying, but, after the second time, I couldn't calm down. I couldn't focus, I couldn't breath. I felt terrible. But, like I say, what a great time. What a great experience. I would do it all exactly the same again, with all the same results. Awesome.
   Doing this form at home, the last little bit, I feel results are really coming. The stances is slowly coming. The movements are still frustrating, but, its okay. This will not slow me down. I am going to master this from. I will show you all, just how incredibly powerful this form is. Yes its a small footprint, but it is like a tank. One direction and one intention. Forwards smash. I really like this form. I do see why this form is best for someone shorter than I, but, I feel parts of it suites me well. Maybe not to completely change to this fighting style, but if I can adapt parts and the intentions to my own fighting style, then I know I will benefit. If I can grow from this, it was well worth the effort. I will, I just need to figure out how. Time will tell, and I will grow.
    So, lets talk kung fu. I am having a real hard time lately. Not posting my numbers, because there is little to post. I am embarrassed of how little I have accomplished. People, places and things have been piling up on me and I have not been able to calm down. I have all these excuses that I could use to justify my poor showings and outings. Or, I could be honest. I have been using again. There is one thing in my being, that I have not been willing to talk about. That one thing has been eating at my conscience and now, I am really paying for it. See, for people like me, I can not have any skeletons, and there is one. One that just keeps laughing at me. Now that I am using again, its kicking the crap outta me. I have not had this kind of defeat in sobriety. I have not been beat up like this, since I first sobered up. I have all sorts of reasons as to why, I am ignoring this one skeleton. A lack of time, a lack of caring. A lack of honesty. But all of these reasons have one thing in common. A lack of effort. Like I have said, I have looked the devil in the eyes and smashed him outta my way. But, a friend of mine once told me this. "I must be careful, to not become complacent in life. The devil owned me and my soul for sixteen years, that when I threw him out of my life, he would be back, and he would be worse than ever. When I least expected it. When I was really flying high, he will come back for my spirit. I took back something he thought was his and thus, will, cause an internal war, when I least expect it." With all that being said, I have leant a very valuable lessons from kung fu. And these things have been sitting on my shoulder like, well, is that really your excuse? Is that really what you are going with?
    So, here we are. At square one again. I gave up the power I had over the issues. I gave it back to that darn devil I was fighting and gave up the fight. Today, I am taking another stand. Again, I know. But, it is like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall and hoping its gonna stick to the wall. It wont stick, until I apply myself. I gotta spend some time and start doing some cooking on this issue. I have got to get back to basics and rebuild and re-apply. I would like to just run and just ignore again, but, then I will be back at this place, in no time. I need to quit ignoring the little things, before they keep tearing my mind apart.
    I am working on a new plan. I am looking at re-implementing an old routine, that worked well, in the beginning of I Ho Chuan. But, adapting this new plan, to what todays asks of me. I have got to finish my steps and continue to be awesome. I feel confident in this new plan. As long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sure, I have slipped and fallen flat on my face, but, sifu has failed more times than I have even tried. So, if he can do it, and others can do it, then so can I. I just need to keep picking myself up and keep trying. Willie is not done yet. Oh no, not yet.
   I stand firm on applying myself to the dragon dance. It has been one of the best resources I have come to embrace from the kwoon, like I said a few weeks ago. So, starting monday, I am placing this new plan into action. As for today, I finish this internal battle. Today, I win. I will not be held back by a resentment or regret anymore. I am going to exercise this demon. Sure I will meet my fear with love. I will lovingly kick its head in. Taking an aggressive approach, worked miracles when I first sobered up, and I am going to meet that today with the same tenaciousness. I can not afford any more easier softer ways. I have been at this fork in the road for just about one month, and its really pissing me off, now. 
   So I have to quit talking and start walking the walk.
Thanks for your time everyone.
Mr.Duncan

Service

    Howdy there everyone. How is it going? I am doing exceptionally well. This weekend was an amazing experience. No, more than amazing. Phenomenal! Yup, that will do. Its difficult to explain, but I will do my best. So, Friday night I head outta town with a friend of mine and the drive down was really nice. Took a back road, as opposed to hwy 2. Very relaxed, but with purpose. We will get there when we get there. This whole weekend I constantly heard people speak "this will test your patience" "this will teach you tolerance" and they did not fib. Two-hundred people all trying their hardest to work lovingly with one another. Two hundred people all trying to be better than they once were. Trying their hardest to do the right thing. What an sight to see. There was chaos and there were hotheads, but everyone smiled and laughed and exclaimed, how wonderful it was! For the greater good I would hear. ahh man it was an opportunity  a lifetime. I would dare to say life altering. Another part of me that has grown more.
    Just last night I had a huge light is now on moment. I was listening to this fellow tell a story that was very similar to mine, even though he was fifty years my senior. Some of the emotions in his story I really clicked with. Do realise, I know nothing of this man, never seen nor heard of him. And this thought comes into his head. Without him and his story, my journey down this path would be far different. I would not have had the same rebuild with out him. No, we are not directly related, but through the nature of life we are. You see, his story would not have been passed along to so many people, coming after him, their outlook would have been just a little different. And thus when they share their story it would be slightly emotional different. Now, when the loss of that stories change in people's outlook would have struck me. And he might not have been there to turn on that light bulb. I would have not had this opportunity to learn. Thus, this lesson may not have been present Saturday night. If that makes any sense, at all. The lesson being that we are all connected. All these people and I share this same singular goal. To be sober, just for today. That is where it all started. And from that one singular purpose, to carry our message, this amazingly unselfish society has grown and flourished. There is no personal materialistic goal. There is only spiritual growth offered. I am glad that I was able to receive some this weekend. What a time!
    I took another huge step last night as well. I am not a big socializer, especially with two hundred people in one room, but, there was this one person in particular that, had caught my interest earlier in the day. The way this person carried himself. You know, the very confident, not cocky people. Very humbled individual. And he a thanked the lessons in service for being where he is in life. The complete freedom he has been given. All by trying to help his fellow man. So, I worked up the courage and approached this man. Right as I approached him, I quickly thought about merely walking past and smiling. Guilt hit immediately after this thought. So I stopped and politely got his attention. It was really nice to say hi. His expression of true happiness was kind of stunning. The sense of joy I had received from stopping and approaching someone like him, was very intense. This is nothing like being polite to a stranger in crossing of paths. He has something spiritually I wanted so, I went to learn. Awesome! I love this program. Greatest decision I ever made was to walk with this group of folks.
    And the person I traveled and stayed with has become even more of a friend. We always have great conversations, when we get together, but to spend a complete weekend with him, that was really fun. The lessons he shows just by being the change he wants to see, is really powerful. I am very happy to have this fella in my life. Such a nice and caring person. Very gracious individual. They say to hang out with the winners, to become a winner. so I stick close to the people who have a solid base under their feet. He is always very kind, but, his program is firm. He will not budge, when it comes to keeping his program solid. He is very open to growth, but whatever he feels it will not help him, it does not come into his life. People like us, must take all precautions necessary, but must also be careful not to impair us ourselves. It is a fine line to walk, but the lessons in awareness are awesome.
    Such an amazing weekend, with so many lessons and tools to put into my life. Surrounding myself with people like-minded to myself, is very inspiring. After gatherings like this, I am overwhelmed with a sense in confidence in the program. I walk away completely re-affirmed that I am doing the right thing with my life. Finally, I am on a path that I was always supposed to be on. Yeah buddy, that feels good to realise.
Well, it is nachos and a movie night tonight and nachos are ready.
I will talk to you guys soon
Mr.Duncan

Light It Up To Burn It Down

    Good day everyone. What a wonderful day today. I made pancakes for breakfast. Took Bane for a walk and did some playing. What an amazing day thus far. With this dog, Bane, I am really focusing on my intentions. Being very confident in what I ask of him. A lot like the horsemanship program I attended earlier in the summer. I feel, the horse program, really helped prepare me for this dog. Oh right I posted yesterday his name was Kane. My boys liked Bane as a name better. So, Bane it is. Especially a dog that was breed to be a silent guard dog. I have read that bullmastiffs were bread to help park wardens keep track of poachers. They wont bite or attack, but they will pin and hold down the poachers. So, I mean, that is really awesome. Bane has merely wanted to play and be someone's friend. We are trying our best to be his friend. To make him feel loved and apart of our family. It has been fantastic thus far. I am very confident this positive experience will continue for the next ten to twelve years.
   
    Now, I must admit, I have been floundering at best these last two weeks. I have hit my worst funk yet. And that is okay. I still carry forth with the mindset, that I am worth it. I feel okay, mentally. Physically, not so much. I definitely feel tired. I feel wore out and overwhelmed. Some days, I do not know which direction to go. Some days I am just frustrated. Lack of physical exertion, has led to wanting to explode. But, even more important, I am not sure of where to put my energy.  Like I mentioned, before, I have held onto the morals and values we are being taught in class, and I believe that has been my saving grace. Yes the only thing to keep me engaged is trying to be better every single day than I was before. Listen, as an addict, it is really easy to fall into a depression and truly not even know it. The days become darker, my mood slowly shifts to a darker thought process. Things bother me more than they used again. No this is not a pity party, this is exactly where I am at. One day at a time is what they tell us, no I have to pick my feet up and place them, one in front of the other. And some days, man, I am drowning. Drowning and I think I am floating. Floating face down maybe, but not swimming. Not moving forward. I have a goal of where I want to be in five years, ten years, even twenty years, but not tomorrow. I have looked so far into the future, that I have completely forgot about today. So, I will just keep pushing forwards. There were times in my earlier sobriety, that I felt the same way. That I felt like getting wasted and saying I don't need any of you. Thankfully, people were in my path at the perfect time to help squash those thoughts.
   
    Today, I have my fellow teammates to think about. When one member of our team starts to slip and slide, it has a trickle effect through the rest of the team. I honestly feels, like I am bringing down everyone. But I know for a fact, that is not true. I might be struggling and wanting to turn off the computer and walk away, but I refuse to. Not just for me, but, for everyone else. You see early in my sobriety, I came to a conclusion. That is this. I may have gotten sober for me and me alone, but subliminally, I did it for you. Yes, I don't have to deal with all the drama I placed in my life, but you guys get to see and deal with a sober will. Somebody, that you would not have wanted to deal with a couple of years ago. Thursday night, a very good friend of mine made mention, that, I when I first sobered up, he did not want to deal with me. Not even sit next to me. He told me he was scared of what I might do or say, if he started a conversation with me. And lets face it, I was an animal. An animal with no regard to who I hurt or how I hurt them. Today, do understand, I do not desire to harm anyone. Physically or mentally. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, if I really hurt someone. Honestly, I want to be the example as to why people change their lives. Not as a bragging factor, but simply, as an example. I want people like me to look at me and say, If he can do it, then so can I!
   
    So, with that being said, I need to keep being the example, I want to see. The change I desire to see in the world. I need to re-fuel this fire I had burning for so long, seemingly, so long ago. Ah, but the devil looked and saw, just how evil goodness truly is. That is the perfect example of perception that I have. Think about that statement for a moment. We all, know how good being good is, but to someone who thrives on evil, goodness is terrible for him. All in the perception. I need to re-set my sights, so I can move forward.


    Look, I am used to hunting right now, but, I have no time. Frustrating. I am used to cleaning out the garden, but I have had no time. I am used to relaxing and chilling out on sundays, but, I have no time. Or do I. Am I just saying, I aint got time for that, or am I truly stretched that far out. Lets be honest, just for a moment. I am not making the time  for the basics like I did earlier in the I.H.C. challenge. I have found an excuse and am running with it. And since we are being honest, I have been given the excuses to hide in my shell again. I have this feeling of being completely overwhelmed with I.H.C. And now, we have no choice but to be at open training on Saturdays now, if I want to be a part of the dragon, I need to give up that to. No not sacrifice my time, but invest in my team. I really enjoy, everything about the dragon. the teamwork, the bond we are building between each other and the dragon. It is far more than some cloth on a pole to me. It is the dragon, that represents our school. This is, way more than some cloth. This is more than a school dragon. It is an amazing opportunity to build up as a solid team. And show off some stupendous, dragon moves as a team. And finally to show everyone, what some teamwork and personal investments can do. To set the example of what can be done with friends.


    So, I need to push these excuses out of my path. Maybe stomp on the excuses that I build into my mind and place into my path. I realise, that right before a break thru is made with me, all the bad parts, or negativity floods my mind and being, and gives me all sorts of reasons to not push through to the other side. And, this is a hard part. The hard part is realising, these are poisonous thoughts that are after my serenity. Realising that, I do this every time to try to squash positive growth. To stay idle, where I was. I do not know why I do this. But it is something I am working hard on. I really am trying to see these emotions and feeling for what they truly are. I am trying to embrace and love these feelings. Which, is messed up. This is a whole new norm for me. I love it. Embracing and making friends with fears and demons, then moving them outta my way. Making my fears works for me. Saying to pain and fears, yeah, buddy come on in, sit right down, lets get to be friends tell me a story pain. Let us enjoy a cup of coffee together. Show yourself fear. Lets dance, lets have a good time. I am going to continue to use my fears and pains as my gun powder to blow the top off the I.H.C. challenge. Yeah, I have been struggling, but, this cat is not going down without a fight. A fight for the rest of my life. Not my old life back, I do not want my old life back. I desire to build out of the ashes a life of meaning and worth. A life where every single step has value and purpose. Not walking simply to walk. Walking with purpose. Yeah that's right, get outta my way. Here comes Will. Smash bang pow, I stand victorious in life again. Hahahaha. Oh boy. fired up again. Now, we got to light it up, to burn it down. Whoa! Who is with me. Lets light this world on fire!!!


Okay everyone, I need to get back to the family. Try and figure out how to play action hero's with a thirty pound puppy and my beaut of boys. This is going to be a challenge!


Thank you for your time
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan

Staying up 'till dawn

    Hey there everyone. How's it today? A tad gloomy out there, but still a nice day. I do apologize for the tardiness of my blog. So, this weeks have been wow! Seriously insane, it was. The holy factor kicked in, on tuesday, when my wife reminded me about painting on the long weekend. I realised I had so much to do, just to prep the kitchen. Sanding, mudding, cleaning out shelves and cupboards. Many a long nights, I was ready to paint. Three nights in a row, I was up until three am, just getting stuff done. No kids, no hassles!! We basically ripped apart the entire kitchen, painted or scrubbed absolutely everything, then put everything back together. What a job, but, like journeymen, the missus and I crushed the tasks at hand. Everything worked out very nicely and the kitchen looks awesome. boo ya!


   I also used the time to do some serious pondering. Pondering about direction. The path of my decisions, at hand. Sacrafices as investments. Lately, I have felt very, overwhelmed with everything on my mind right now. Kung fu at times has seemed, yeah like a chore. And I did use the lack of physical training as an opportunity, to find the value of my actions, when I am doing them. I did not do any kung fu or exercise for the week. I definatly see the value in just how doing kung fu makes me feel. Not just physically better, but, mentally better as well. I do not feel quite "all there" after this week. A lack of kung fu makes me seemingly un-stable at best. Not looking for trouble, just a chip on the shoulder. I have had no time to place my aggressions, without more sacrifices to my sleep. Normally the punching bag. But with the kitchen stuff in the garage, no room there. I honestly buried everything for a week, under new and old stuff for the kitchen, in the garage. That was an oh man moment. It worked out well. Kung fu and I Ho Chuan was on my mind the entire time. Even without doing the movements, my mind was still on the principles of what I should strive and drive for. I was still very mentally engaged. Where I wanted to go in life. My end result. Where do I wish to be. Make sure of a steady course and ensure a steady vessel to ride it out. This is going to be a long one.


  Something else I have recently learnt, is the value of teamwork. The last class of I Ho Chaun, man I was bummed sitting and just watching the dragon. I do wish I was actually doing the dragon, but unless everyone wanted to step and slip and faceplant in phlem and stuff, I wasn't gonna take part. Thanks for covering for me on that one team. With that, being said, I, the teamwork I have learnt through the dragon, I have been able to use those skills at home and work. I need to trust myself enough to work with everyone else as a whole. I believe that, I am not afraid of being inadequate, but its the fear of the greatness in me, that ties me down. Its not what if I don't, it is what if I do well. Then I will always have to do really well. And what if I don't do well again, or I make a mistake and look silly. Like some flash in the pan, not a flame in the pit. That's one of my "isims" kicking in. The what ifs. Well, then. try saying that three times fast! I know its a silly thought, and these ones usually leave as fast as they enter my mind.


Kung fu in Onoway starts tomorrow night and I am looking forward to class again. I really enjoyed myself in Stony Plain. Everyone was so cool to train with and learn from. Lots of fun. The thing I really enjoy about class in Onoway, is the fact that I can train with kids. And mine at that too. Man I love kids. Just wanna push them all down!! ......just kidding. I enjoy training with Sifu Wiebe. He is very peculiar about details. With a smaller class, more one on one, sifu is able to really help us tweak our kung fu. And that is good for business folks.


Well, it is getting late and I am really tired still. The week was great. It really was a wonderful learning experience.


Thanks for you time
Mr.Duncan