Re-affirming

Good Sunday to everyone. Heck of a storm we had last night. Too bad I was sleeping. I really do love thunder showers. In any event, It is hard to believe that it is the end of may already. Kind of mind blowing. Yesterday, I had taken the day to just relax. Something I have not been able to do in a few weeks now and it was wonderful. I seriously, laid on the couch and watched the Daredevil on Netflix. Fantastic show. I really enjoyed the show. The people who made the show really did stick close to the comic book, which is really cool. Producers do not do that much and it ruins the film or the show. Growing up, I had quite the collection of comics as a kid. daredevil, punisher, I like the darker characters. A little more my style.
   So, with this month wrapping up, I feel good about I Ho Chaun so far. Seriously, I have made progress in the non-physical aspects in this challenge. Things that I knew I could do, but never really tried to do. As in, working with like 14 kids, or not erupting all over someone, when my life and welfare are endangered by someone's negligence. The physical aspect of I Ho Chaun, will continue to get better I am sure of it. I am recommitted. Yesterday was a fantastic breather and I now look forward to smashing my way through June. June has made me mad, so I am going to break it!! Yesterday, I took some time to re-read some of my old blogs, and that was nice. I could feel myself getting ramped up. Using those old words to reaffirm myself in this challenge. So I look forward to continuing to push myself on a daily level. In fact I was adding up my numbers this morning and made a commitment to myself, just this morning. This week I will break 1000 push ups and sit-ups. That will happen. I looked at my numbers from the first few weeks and saw the numbers I was producing and said, I am going to do that again. I am taking this challenge back and smashing it into the ground and then stand on top triumphantly.
   These last few weeks was a host of all sorts of emotions, deep valleys and really high mountain tops. But I survived. Like I have said before I have learnt a lot about myself, I am really happy that everything worked out the way it did. I had to almost completely dis-engage from kung-fu, in order to be the father/husband, I was needed to be. Where I feel I grew the most was not being a jerk, when I was needed to be supportive. Being there for the family, not doing what I want and then being ignorant about helping. That was a pattern I wanted to break, but was not sure on how, until opportunity arose. I do believe I broke that cycle and started a new one. Fantastic.
   So we have a parade and demo coming up in less than a week. I know I can be ready by ensuring my form is at peak. And I will get it there. I do actually want to get in front of strangers and show them just how cool, kung fu and everything it entails really is. As for being in the parade, I do hope to get a chance in the lions, but, also, if I am needed to wrangle children or if I can not be in a lion, then so be it. My part is to support in any and every way possible. I did start to wander away from the group in the last few weeks. And to be honest the accident and caring for my family, gave me the reason to do so. That is a dangerous place to go. Slowly, dis-attaching myself, leads to dark and lonely places in my mind. Dark lonely places, lead me to dis-like people. Dis-liking people leads me to building resentments towards you and others. Resentments lead me to no longer trying to grow and change, and thus I start dying again. Shudder shudder!! Yuk! No thanks. Now, that I have tasted the good life, I no longer desire my old life. I desire what ever new path that will be set forth in front of me.
   I was talking with a good friend of mine earlier in the week. I asked him about these feeling of "Meh" The feelings that help you dis-engage. The feeling of mediocre keep flooding my mind. "Doing okay, is good enough" You know the thoughts. I knew right away that, feelings like that, just are not for me any more. So I want to be rid of thoughts and feelings. So his advice to me was that,  I should find what I am grateful for. Once I know what I am grateful for, strive to be a better person, to further grasp that feeling of gratefulness on those said items. For example, I am grateful for not having to drink today, because of a group of people who helped and loved me un-conditionally. I will strive harder out of gratefulness. To prove I was worth their time. To show others that this does work, if we work for it.  I will do better, I will strive harder, I will push like I pushed in those first few months in sobriety. Man, I fought like hell, to not drink for those first few hundred one day at a time moments, and now, I am going to start fighting like hell for my kung fu. Today, I do not see much of a difference in not drinking and doing my kung fu. Both are exceptionally good for me. And if I quit doing both items, I die.  There is no more going backwards. Backwards is not the direction I want to go. Nor, will I. Not today and not tomorrow. There is only growth my friends. Growth in the mind the body and the spirit.


Speaking of which, time to go do push-ups, and sit-ups!! Hahaha!
Thanks for your time
Humbly yours,
Mr.Duncan

Penny for thought

Hello there. Just a quick note. Tonight was the first game of the season for the tee-ballers. What a blast. I had lots of fun. It's amazing how much fun can be had in two long, but short, innings. The majority of the kids were right into it, but some were just having fun. Awesome!! I had a smile on that lasted the entire time. Ear to ear I'm telling ya! We are now half way through our season. I would like it if the season lasted for more than six weeks but, maybe it's best as long as it is. There are numerous lessons some one can take away from these times. Like patience and improvising to keep them interested. These kids are three to seven. Fourteen of them little.... That's a lot different views. It's been a great challenge thus far and I feel grateful for the opportunity to work with these kids. Hey, I even gave a little pre-game pep talk. Haha. That was really neat-o. fantastic!!
  I have read this phrase numerous times. I like it, so.... When we approach situations with an open heart and a willing mind, we will be amazed at the results before we are half way through.

Thank you for your time
Mr.Duncan

Calm This Storm!!

  Good sunday everyone today, and your damn right its a fine day today. These last three weeks have been terribly hard on the mind and motivation. It feels like I am the only person doing stuff in the house, but that's not true, at all. I have just stepped up my game, and am trying to make my wife's recovery as easy as I can. You know, journeyman stuff. Do not even know you are doing awesome, and continue to be awesome, even when your awesomeness comes to attention.
   Today, is a day that we can officially close one door in our car accident journey. We have done absolutely everything we can to ensure our side of the street is neat and tidy. We now have to wait on everything else. Which we have no control over, so, I can now start to relax and re-focus on kung fu. Yesterday I did not make it to pandamonium because the wife and I where out test driving and shopping for a new vehicle. We bought a nice, newer gmc, pick-up. Before we left to go shopping, we made a pact, no matter what deal we are given, or what any dealership says we will test drive three vehicles. And we walked away from one real good deal, while we were given the its now or never speech! I really wanted to express that, that individual should pound his words and ideas on what we should do, straight up his secret place. But I did not. I tried exceptionally hard to be polite, to give every one the respect they deserve. Whether, they are good people or not, they still need to be treated properly.......I can not believe that just came out of my mouth! After all, they are just trying to make some money as I am, when I am hanging and banging iron about.
  So this week, was all about the spiritual and mental growth. Little to no actual kung fu happened. I was wrapped up with the family and that is where I needed to be. Standing up tall for my family, not out back doing forms and reps. A couple weeks ago, in a blog I mentioned that I had not done a lot of growth except in the physical part of kung fu. Well, that is no longer the case. I realize now, that these last few weeks was an opportunity to grow internally. I asked and my higher power gave. I am glad everything has worked out exactly how it has worked out. Everyone is physically and mentally okay. So, really, I just needed to be cool and learn my place.
   I was chilling with some great friends on Thursday night, talking and sharing experience, strength and hope amongst ourselves. I shared with them, what I feel is my place in this car accident. Its out back. The strong silent support that you need sometimes. The support you need that does not involve words. It involves silent love. My place is to the side, supporting my wife and kids. Not on the front lines. Not this fight and not needed. On Friday night, I was still kind of struggling with that idea, and I figured that I should have control of what and where our next vehicle comes from. So before I started to spew my vomit of hate all over the place, I asked for help from another great friend of mine. I had a good idea of what was coming my way, but all of the time, I need to hear those words. Again I was re-enforced my place in this situation. To the side, ensuring that my support is there, but not vocalized. Just be there to help guide the ship. Make sure bills are paid for, and be cool man, just be cool.
   So, yes, my numbers have fallen, but, I am learning so much more than how to count. The fact that I can do 1000 push-ups in a week is really cool, and I have not done that recently, but the fact that I don't have to even get frustrated and angry over vehicles and all other petty stuff, is amazing. I have learnt so much in I Ho Chaun so far, and only about 25% of what I have learnt is kung fu movements. (forms, strikes, etc). Really the rest is about being a proper human being, not a bag of meat. Learning to feel peoples positions in life. Learning how to deal with people, with out the urge to smash someone's head into my fist. Just, deal with people. Wow, who would have thunk that? Willy is learning what calm and collective thoughts are. I am learning to breath in a stressful situation. Not hold and bulldoze through. This is an amazing journey. Thanks to all, for your patience in these trying times and now, that my live is almost back to "normal" I will be around far more than before.
   One last quick note, I am so grateful for Him keeping my plate full. The struggles the heart-aches, the pain, the progress and the break through. Every single day has made me who I am today.


Thanks for your time today.
See you soon
Mr.Duncan

Quick Hello

Well it is nice to see you again. What a glorious day it is today! Farmers market today in the beach. That means mini donuts. I love mini donuts. The only reason I go. Well, I am a very busy fellow today so, I got to make this short and sweet. Another absolutely chaotic week with lawyer meetings and insurance, buying a new vehicle and everything else that is coming our way. Things are coming to a close, slower than expected, but it is happening. Progress. I have been wanting to re-do the surface of our back deck this year, but it just doesn't seem to want to happen. It is gonna look nice when it is done. Extend the deck to the west and make like a bbq area on the deck. On the other side I want to install a sink, to wash our garden veggies in, but I need to do deck first. It is going to look sweet when it is done, "when", is the huge word here.


    One huge thing I have had to learn so far in this challenge is patience. Today, adding up my numbers, I felt a feeling of panic almost. I was like ahh, I am so far behind, I don't even know what number I should be at. Quickly, I managed to push that thought out of my mind. Is the goal not to be better than before? Well, that I am accomplishing. Maybe not at the pace that is expected or asked of me, but I am making progress. Even with everything in my life as a fricken tornado, I am getting better, one long day at a time. Now comes the question of the numbers I am going to be short on. What about those numbers? Well, what about them? I do not know how to respond to that question. I could just lie and say I will make it up on another date. Or, I have time off coming up, then I will make up the missing numbers. Maybe that will happen, maybe not. I cannot say what is and what is not going to happen. That is an obvious fact. I was going to turn my truck into an awesome race truck, with like 1000 hp, and a screaming loud exhaust, and yes be that guy. But, trucks gone, so there goes that plan. Life changes so drastically, so quickly, that I can not really say what is or is not going to happen. I wish I could, but, then, how much fun would life be. If we always knew exactly what is going to happen next, life would be kind of boring, do you not think? I know I would be bored outta my skull.


   I am really excited for my stick form. I have learnt so much with the stick in the last few months. It really is a lot of fun. At times, I like to really push myself and my speed factor. Sometimes the stick goes for a ride, kind of like Friday night. At least people got a chuckle out of it!! I was terribly bored with kempo I, and so I was not doing kempo. Not cool, that is my hand form, and reps are down. Last week, sifu, showed us Kempo II, Sweet, re-engaged in the hand forms. Reps are back up. Hahaha! Success!!


Well, I do have to get to planting the garden and some other chores, so until next, stay classy people.
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

One Pebble And A Big Ocean

   Hello everyone. Holy wonderful day today. I see a common theme happening when I do my blogs. The day suddenly becomes nicer. Amazing. Well these last few weeks have been holy intense batman. So much happened, so quickly, all I could do is just pick my reactions. I feel I had some huge growth in this latest test I was handed. Insurance was jerking around, my truck is written off, my youngest boy was way out of sorts, and my wife is hurt from this accident, police are waiting to charge the other driver. Everything is taking it sweet time in becoming resolved. As I have said before, I can be terribly impatient. But, you know what, I only had one freak out. on a punching bag, in my garage, away from people. And that my friends, is progress. Before, this would have consumed and destroyed me, mentally and physically and spiritually. This time, I kept breathing and before I knew it, resolutions where happening on all aspects of this accident. Yeah it sucks, but, everything will become resolved when it is ready to be resolved. A simple thought, but, only recently, have I been able to unconditionally accept this fact into my life. That's a really good feeling, knowing I don't have to loose my mind. Oh that's a wonderful, freeing, feeling. Ahh, I can breath. This week, there were some amazing blogs posted. These blogs gave me lots to think about. And I had time this week.
  
   On Friday night, after class, I got home and everyone was in bed. So I wandered into the back yard, lite a campfire and watched the flames dance and flicker. Camp fires have always been a favorite thing to do. The smells, the way the fire dances, everything about it is awesome. You see, I believe, that when you get into the flames and the coals, that the fire will tell you a story. The hard part is determining the story. I just use my imagination. Also, as the night grew long, it became really clear out, and so I started to star gaze. An another favorite thing to do. I like to concentrate on just one star and wonder, what is around that star. Is there life like I there? Is there something thinking the same thought, looking at our sun? I will paint a picture in my mind what things might look like. When I star gaze like that, I always wonder just how huge the universe is and how small and insignificant I am in comparison to everything around me. Our minutes and seconds, hours and days even, mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. But to us, time is our reality check. Time is what "turns the world" Don't get me wrong, time as it is understood is important, but, like money, it is another man-made invention that is used to control the masses. That's a thought for another day though. You see, I see things like this. In the large scheme of things, our actions, do not matter that much, if at all. What we do will not change the course of the universe, unless we blow up our planet. That would mess up a thing or two, but even then, it really would not change the universe that much. But then I thought, like the yin and yen there must be balance to everything. Whether it be good versus bad, laziness versus activity. There are extremes to all that truly balance the equation. Now, I thought on the universal size of things, if our actions truly do matter, then every good deed we do ripples through the universe like a pebble in an ocean. No matter how small the deed or how small we are, it does matter. Every action or thought, good or bad does add to the grand scale of life. Now, I guess the question is, what side of the scale am I tipping? Most days, I am the good side of things, some days I like to pour in onto the bad side of the scale. I know for a fact, that balance really makes a difference in our beings. living on the wrong side of life for so many years, then to come check out this respectable way of life. The scale truly becomes apparent. You truly do see, how our actions and words do affect others around you. I really see this in children, how one word or one sentence can either make their entire day, or just absolutely crush their hearts. That is why I am trying to better myself every day. Not just for my self, but to set a good example for my boys. Give them a positive cycle to continue. Show them how glorious and extra-ordinary our lives and actions truly are. And of course because kung-fu is awesome.


Well, that is it for today.
Happy mothers day and see you soon
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

Wowee

Good day to you! Is it not, a fine day. Beautiful. Another very eventful week has passed and lessons in who we are never stop coming at you. Sure is nice to be in a good place, mentally, when life challenges you with something a little more drastic. This week my wife and youngest boy got into a car accident. Thankfully nobody was really hurt. Other than bumps and bruises, some whiplash, they are okay. I am so grateful for them being okay. The phone call I received was from her in, quite obviously, a panicked toned and,  how do you react to that? That was one of the longest drives from work. That's an experience that I do not want to go through again. My truck is all sorts of messed up, for obvious reason. They got T-boned. Too bad, I really liked that truck. Part of me wants it to get fixed. The other half, does not want to see it fixed. I feel once in an serious accident like a T-bone, that vehicle will always be off, but, I did get that truck one month after cleaning up my act. Had to get rid of the heat on the roads, and the almighty ram was the gift I needed. But, I can not control either outcome so, forget it. It is just a truck.
   So, again my numbers took a blasting, but I mean, what can you do? I had to step into my wife's shoes while she recoups and man, is she busy. Doing what I can to play both roles in the house, that is hard work. So, I did  not get a lot done, but I got some in. That's all that matters. Too bad, I had a fantastic start to the week.
   Finally, I took on the role as head coach for the t-ball team out my way. Our first practice was Thursday night. The same night of the accident. What a mind blowing night. But, at practice, holy, I think we had a blast. To me at their ages, three to six, it is really about enjoying the time with their friends and having fun playing ball. That is the direction I want to head into, and if I can achieve that, I will. My wife was receiving texts and things on the fb about the practice we had, so I think the kids had a good time as well. Success! This will be a very challenging next six weeks, but I do feel positive about everything. Besides I fricken love kids. They are the coolest. I used to coach my little brother in hockey and I always enjoyed that.
   This whole kung fu experience with I Ho Chaun, has been absolutely amazing. With all the highs and lows, the mountain peaks and deep valleys, there is nothing else to truly test you limits as a martial artist. I have found the true test, for myself, is to try to practice these principles in all our affairs, in that, that is realism. I can do the physical aspect of this challenge, fairly well. Its the dealing with people and outside circumstances that I have a hard time grasping. Almost every internal meltdown has started with or been a direct result of dealing with a person or an un-desirable out coming. It sounds to me, like my adaptability has been lacking recently. Time to re-check myself and come out strong for tomorrow.


Anyways, I should get back to not ignoring my kids and go play little green army guys with them.
So until next time I am:
Mr.Duncan