Hello all. How is everyone doing. What a day, what a weekend, what a week. Wowie. My wife was gone in Calgary on business and I got to play mr.Mom. That was a lot of fun. With my boys and the dog, is was a huge look into her life. Everything that she does to keep the house going round. Its quite amazing, all that she does. I feel, my youngest and I did some great bonding. I spent a lot of time just concentrating on him and what he wanted to do. Play, daddy, play with me. How do you say no? I could not. Nor did I want to say no. So I spent a lot of time playing guys, cars, wrestling and cuddling my little guy. Loved it.
So forms seminar eh!?! Who else had their minds blown right outta their skulls? Yup, I did. Man alive that was so cool. I didn't have much time to look and admire what others where doing as sifu was all over me, for reps, and proper everything. Wow. For such a small technique, there is so much to it. I really had to forget, what I have been taught in kempo style and learn a complete new everything in those few hours. A serious challenge and I loved it. Even though I fell apart while presenting the form to the group. That was seriously messed up. Haha. Its okay. thankfully, I had the chance to try again. I was going to ask to do it again, if sifu had not presented the chance. But, I mean everything had to be retaught. The stance, the strikes, the movements, finding center in my hips, but most importantly, my intentions needed to be clear. I found, while learning the form, if there was any noise in my mind, I would mess it up. I mean any noise. Even going through the motions in my head as I was doing them. Had to be centered and mindful. Maybe, yesterday was the lesson in effortless effort. Maybe. That's what happened in front of all. my mind was racing. Then I messed up the first time and, I was like great, everyone's watching this, don't fall apart man. Breath, I say, breath. But panic kept kicking in and just chocked me out. I wanted to just keep trying, but, after the second time, I couldn't calm down. I couldn't focus, I couldn't breath. I felt terrible. But, like I say, what a great time. What a great experience. I would do it all exactly the same again, with all the same results. Awesome.
Doing this form at home, the last little bit, I feel results are really coming. The stances is slowly coming. The movements are still frustrating, but, its okay. This will not slow me down. I am going to master this from. I will show you all, just how incredibly powerful this form is. Yes its a small footprint, but it is like a tank. One direction and one intention. Forwards smash. I really like this form. I do see why this form is best for someone shorter than I, but, I feel parts of it suites me well. Maybe not to completely change to this fighting style, but if I can adapt parts and the intentions to my own fighting style, then I know I will benefit. If I can grow from this, it was well worth the effort. I will, I just need to figure out how. Time will tell, and I will grow.
So, lets talk kung fu. I am having a real hard time lately. Not posting my numbers, because there is little to post. I am embarrassed of how little I have accomplished. People, places and things have been piling up on me and I have not been able to calm down. I have all these excuses that I could use to justify my poor showings and outings. Or, I could be honest. I have been using again. There is one thing in my being, that I have not been willing to talk about. That one thing has been eating at my conscience and now, I am really paying for it. See, for people like me, I can not have any skeletons, and there is one. One that just keeps laughing at me. Now that I am using again, its kicking the crap outta me. I have not had this kind of defeat in sobriety. I have not been beat up like this, since I first sobered up. I have all sorts of reasons as to why, I am ignoring this one skeleton. A lack of time, a lack of caring. A lack of honesty. But all of these reasons have one thing in common. A lack of effort. Like I have said, I have looked the devil in the eyes and smashed him outta my way. But, a friend of mine once told me this. "I must be careful, to not become complacent in life. The devil owned me and my soul for sixteen years, that when I threw him out of my life, he would be back, and he would be worse than ever. When I least expected it. When I was really flying high, he will come back for my spirit. I took back something he thought was his and thus, will, cause an internal war, when I least expect it." With all that being said, I have leant a very valuable lessons from kung fu. And these things have been sitting on my shoulder like, well, is that really your excuse? Is that really what you are going with?
So, here we are. At square one again. I gave up the power I had over the issues. I gave it back to that darn devil I was fighting and gave up the fight. Today, I am taking another stand. Again, I know. But, it is like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall and hoping its gonna stick to the wall. It wont stick, until I apply myself. I gotta spend some time and start doing some cooking on this issue. I have got to get back to basics and rebuild and re-apply. I would like to just run and just ignore again, but, then I will be back at this place, in no time. I need to quit ignoring the little things, before they keep tearing my mind apart.
I am working on a new plan. I am looking at re-implementing an old routine, that worked well, in the beginning of I Ho Chuan. But, adapting this new plan, to what todays asks of me. I have got to finish my steps and continue to be awesome. I feel confident in this new plan. As long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sure, I have slipped and fallen flat on my face, but, sifu has failed more times than I have even tried. So, if he can do it, and others can do it, then so can I. I just need to keep picking myself up and keep trying. Willie is not done yet. Oh no, not yet.
I stand firm on applying myself to the dragon dance. It has been one of the best resources I have come to embrace from the kwoon, like I said a few weeks ago. So, starting monday, I am placing this new plan into action. As for today, I finish this internal battle. Today, I win. I will not be held back by a resentment or regret anymore. I am going to exercise this demon. Sure I will meet my fear with love. I will lovingly kick its head in. Taking an aggressive approach, worked miracles when I first sobered up, and I am going to meet that today with the same tenaciousness. I can not afford any more easier softer ways. I have been at this fork in the road for just about one month, and its really pissing me off, now.
So I have to quit talking and start walking the walk.
Thanks for your time everyone.
Mr.Duncan
Sunday, 27 September 2015
Sunday, 20 September 2015
Service
Howdy there everyone. How is it going? I am doing exceptionally well. This weekend was an amazing experience. No, more than amazing. Phenomenal! Yup, that will do. Its difficult to explain, but I will do my best. So, Friday night I head outta town with a friend of mine and the drive down was really nice. Took a back road, as opposed to hwy 2. Very relaxed, but with purpose. We will get there when we get there. This whole weekend I constantly heard people speak "this will test your patience" "this will teach you tolerance" and they did not fib. Two-hundred people all trying their hardest to work lovingly with one another. Two hundred people all trying to be better than they once were. Trying their hardest to do the right thing. What an sight to see. There was chaos and there were hotheads, but everyone smiled and laughed and exclaimed, how wonderful it was! For the greater good I would hear. ahh man it was an opportunity a lifetime. I would dare to say life altering. Another part of me that has grown more.
Just last night I had a huge light is now on moment. I was listening to this fellow tell a story that was very similar to mine, even though he was fifty years my senior. Some of the emotions in his story I really clicked with. Do realise, I know nothing of this man, never seen nor heard of him. And this thought comes into his head. Without him and his story, my journey down this path would be far different. I would not have had the same rebuild with out him. No, we are not directly related, but through the nature of life we are. You see, his story would not have been passed along to so many people, coming after him, their outlook would have been just a little different. And thus when they share their story it would be slightly emotional different. Now, when the loss of that stories change in people's outlook would have struck me. And he might not have been there to turn on that light bulb. I would have not had this opportunity to learn. Thus, this lesson may not have been present Saturday night. If that makes any sense, at all. The lesson being that we are all connected. All these people and I share this same singular goal. To be sober, just for today. That is where it all started. And from that one singular purpose, to carry our message, this amazingly unselfish society has grown and flourished. There is no personal materialistic goal. There is only spiritual growth offered. I am glad that I was able to receive some this weekend. What a time!
I took another huge step last night as well. I am not a big socializer, especially with two hundred people in one room, but, there was this one person in particular that, had caught my interest earlier in the day. The way this person carried himself. You know, the very confident, not cocky people. Very humbled individual. And he a thanked the lessons in service for being where he is in life. The complete freedom he has been given. All by trying to help his fellow man. So, I worked up the courage and approached this man. Right as I approached him, I quickly thought about merely walking past and smiling. Guilt hit immediately after this thought. So I stopped and politely got his attention. It was really nice to say hi. His expression of true happiness was kind of stunning. The sense of joy I had received from stopping and approaching someone like him, was very intense. This is nothing like being polite to a stranger in crossing of paths. He has something spiritually I wanted so, I went to learn. Awesome! I love this program. Greatest decision I ever made was to walk with this group of folks.
And the person I traveled and stayed with has become even more of a friend. We always have great conversations, when we get together, but to spend a complete weekend with him, that was really fun. The lessons he shows just by being the change he wants to see, is really powerful. I am very happy to have this fella in my life. Such a nice and caring person. Very gracious individual. They say to hang out with the winners, to become a winner. so I stick close to the people who have a solid base under their feet. He is always very kind, but, his program is firm. He will not budge, when it comes to keeping his program solid. He is very open to growth, but whatever he feels it will not help him, it does not come into his life. People like us, must take all precautions necessary, but must also be careful not to impair us ourselves. It is a fine line to walk, but the lessons in awareness are awesome.
Such an amazing weekend, with so many lessons and tools to put into my life. Surrounding myself with people like-minded to myself, is very inspiring. After gatherings like this, I am overwhelmed with a sense in confidence in the program. I walk away completely re-affirmed that I am doing the right thing with my life. Finally, I am on a path that I was always supposed to be on. Yeah buddy, that feels good to realise.
Well, it is nachos and a movie night tonight and nachos are ready.
I will talk to you guys soon
Mr.Duncan
Just last night I had a huge light is now on moment. I was listening to this fellow tell a story that was very similar to mine, even though he was fifty years my senior. Some of the emotions in his story I really clicked with. Do realise, I know nothing of this man, never seen nor heard of him. And this thought comes into his head. Without him and his story, my journey down this path would be far different. I would not have had the same rebuild with out him. No, we are not directly related, but through the nature of life we are. You see, his story would not have been passed along to so many people, coming after him, their outlook would have been just a little different. And thus when they share their story it would be slightly emotional different. Now, when the loss of that stories change in people's outlook would have struck me. And he might not have been there to turn on that light bulb. I would have not had this opportunity to learn. Thus, this lesson may not have been present Saturday night. If that makes any sense, at all. The lesson being that we are all connected. All these people and I share this same singular goal. To be sober, just for today. That is where it all started. And from that one singular purpose, to carry our message, this amazingly unselfish society has grown and flourished. There is no personal materialistic goal. There is only spiritual growth offered. I am glad that I was able to receive some this weekend. What a time!
I took another huge step last night as well. I am not a big socializer, especially with two hundred people in one room, but, there was this one person in particular that, had caught my interest earlier in the day. The way this person carried himself. You know, the very confident, not cocky people. Very humbled individual. And he a thanked the lessons in service for being where he is in life. The complete freedom he has been given. All by trying to help his fellow man. So, I worked up the courage and approached this man. Right as I approached him, I quickly thought about merely walking past and smiling. Guilt hit immediately after this thought. So I stopped and politely got his attention. It was really nice to say hi. His expression of true happiness was kind of stunning. The sense of joy I had received from stopping and approaching someone like him, was very intense. This is nothing like being polite to a stranger in crossing of paths. He has something spiritually I wanted so, I went to learn. Awesome! I love this program. Greatest decision I ever made was to walk with this group of folks.
And the person I traveled and stayed with has become even more of a friend. We always have great conversations, when we get together, but to spend a complete weekend with him, that was really fun. The lessons he shows just by being the change he wants to see, is really powerful. I am very happy to have this fella in my life. Such a nice and caring person. Very gracious individual. They say to hang out with the winners, to become a winner. so I stick close to the people who have a solid base under their feet. He is always very kind, but, his program is firm. He will not budge, when it comes to keeping his program solid. He is very open to growth, but whatever he feels it will not help him, it does not come into his life. People like us, must take all precautions necessary, but must also be careful not to impair us ourselves. It is a fine line to walk, but the lessons in awareness are awesome.
Such an amazing weekend, with so many lessons and tools to put into my life. Surrounding myself with people like-minded to myself, is very inspiring. After gatherings like this, I am overwhelmed with a sense in confidence in the program. I walk away completely re-affirmed that I am doing the right thing with my life. Finally, I am on a path that I was always supposed to be on. Yeah buddy, that feels good to realise.
Well, it is nachos and a movie night tonight and nachos are ready.
I will talk to you guys soon
Mr.Duncan
Sunday, 13 September 2015
Light It Up To Burn It Down
Good day everyone. What a wonderful day today. I made pancakes for breakfast. Took Bane for a walk and did some playing. What an amazing day thus far. With this dog, Bane, I am really focusing on my intentions. Being very confident in what I ask of him. A lot like the horsemanship program I attended earlier in the summer. I feel, the horse program, really helped prepare me for this dog. Oh right I posted yesterday his name was Kane. My boys liked Bane as a name better. So, Bane it is. Especially a dog that was breed to be a silent guard dog. I have read that bullmastiffs were bread to help park wardens keep track of poachers. They wont bite or attack, but they will pin and hold down the poachers. So, I mean, that is really awesome. Bane has merely wanted to play and be someone's friend. We are trying our best to be his friend. To make him feel loved and apart of our family. It has been fantastic thus far. I am very confident this positive experience will continue for the next ten to twelve years.
Now, I must admit, I have been floundering at best these last two weeks. I have hit my worst funk yet. And that is okay. I still carry forth with the mindset, that I am worth it. I feel okay, mentally. Physically, not so much. I definitely feel tired. I feel wore out and overwhelmed. Some days, I do not know which direction to go. Some days I am just frustrated. Lack of physical exertion, has led to wanting to explode. But, even more important, I am not sure of where to put my energy. Like I mentioned, before, I have held onto the morals and values we are being taught in class, and I believe that has been my saving grace. Yes the only thing to keep me engaged is trying to be better every single day than I was before. Listen, as an addict, it is really easy to fall into a depression and truly not even know it. The days become darker, my mood slowly shifts to a darker thought process. Things bother me more than they used again. No this is not a pity party, this is exactly where I am at. One day at a time is what they tell us, no I have to pick my feet up and place them, one in front of the other. And some days, man, I am drowning. Drowning and I think I am floating. Floating face down maybe, but not swimming. Not moving forward. I have a goal of where I want to be in five years, ten years, even twenty years, but not tomorrow. I have looked so far into the future, that I have completely forgot about today. So, I will just keep pushing forwards. There were times in my earlier sobriety, that I felt the same way. That I felt like getting wasted and saying I don't need any of you. Thankfully, people were in my path at the perfect time to help squash those thoughts.
Today, I have my fellow teammates to think about. When one member of our team starts to slip and slide, it has a trickle effect through the rest of the team. I honestly feels, like I am bringing down everyone. But I know for a fact, that is not true. I might be struggling and wanting to turn off the computer and walk away, but I refuse to. Not just for me, but, for everyone else. You see early in my sobriety, I came to a conclusion. That is this. I may have gotten sober for me and me alone, but subliminally, I did it for you. Yes, I don't have to deal with all the drama I placed in my life, but you guys get to see and deal with a sober will. Somebody, that you would not have wanted to deal with a couple of years ago. Thursday night, a very good friend of mine made mention, that, I when I first sobered up, he did not want to deal with me. Not even sit next to me. He told me he was scared of what I might do or say, if he started a conversation with me. And lets face it, I was an animal. An animal with no regard to who I hurt or how I hurt them. Today, do understand, I do not desire to harm anyone. Physically or mentally. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, if I really hurt someone. Honestly, I want to be the example as to why people change their lives. Not as a bragging factor, but simply, as an example. I want people like me to look at me and say, If he can do it, then so can I!
So, with that being said, I need to keep being the example, I want to see. The change I desire to see in the world. I need to re-fuel this fire I had burning for so long, seemingly, so long ago. Ah, but the devil looked and saw, just how evil goodness truly is. That is the perfect example of perception that I have. Think about that statement for a moment. We all, know how good being good is, but to someone who thrives on evil, goodness is terrible for him. All in the perception. I need to re-set my sights, so I can move forward.
Look, I am used to hunting right now, but, I have no time. Frustrating. I am used to cleaning out the garden, but I have had no time. I am used to relaxing and chilling out on sundays, but, I have no time. Or do I. Am I just saying, I aint got time for that, or am I truly stretched that far out. Lets be honest, just for a moment. I am not making the time for the basics like I did earlier in the I.H.C. challenge. I have found an excuse and am running with it. And since we are being honest, I have been given the excuses to hide in my shell again. I have this feeling of being completely overwhelmed with I.H.C. And now, we have no choice but to be at open training on Saturdays now, if I want to be a part of the dragon, I need to give up that to. No not sacrifice my time, but invest in my team. I really enjoy, everything about the dragon. the teamwork, the bond we are building between each other and the dragon. It is far more than some cloth on a pole to me. It is the dragon, that represents our school. This is, way more than some cloth. This is more than a school dragon. It is an amazing opportunity to build up as a solid team. And show off some stupendous, dragon moves as a team. And finally to show everyone, what some teamwork and personal investments can do. To set the example of what can be done with friends.
So, I need to push these excuses out of my path. Maybe stomp on the excuses that I build into my mind and place into my path. I realise, that right before a break thru is made with me, all the bad parts, or negativity floods my mind and being, and gives me all sorts of reasons to not push through to the other side. And, this is a hard part. The hard part is realising, these are poisonous thoughts that are after my serenity. Realising that, I do this every time to try to squash positive growth. To stay idle, where I was. I do not know why I do this. But it is something I am working hard on. I really am trying to see these emotions and feeling for what they truly are. I am trying to embrace and love these feelings. Which, is messed up. This is a whole new norm for me. I love it. Embracing and making friends with fears and demons, then moving them outta my way. Making my fears works for me. Saying to pain and fears, yeah, buddy come on in, sit right down, lets get to be friends tell me a story pain. Let us enjoy a cup of coffee together. Show yourself fear. Lets dance, lets have a good time. I am going to continue to use my fears and pains as my gun powder to blow the top off the I.H.C. challenge. Yeah, I have been struggling, but, this cat is not going down without a fight. A fight for the rest of my life. Not my old life back, I do not want my old life back. I desire to build out of the ashes a life of meaning and worth. A life where every single step has value and purpose. Not walking simply to walk. Walking with purpose. Yeah that's right, get outta my way. Here comes Will. Smash bang pow, I stand victorious in life again. Hahahaha. Oh boy. fired up again. Now, we got to light it up, to burn it down. Whoa! Who is with me. Lets light this world on fire!!!
Okay everyone, I need to get back to the family. Try and figure out how to play action hero's with a thirty pound puppy and my beaut of boys. This is going to be a challenge!
Thank you for your time
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Now, I must admit, I have been floundering at best these last two weeks. I have hit my worst funk yet. And that is okay. I still carry forth with the mindset, that I am worth it. I feel okay, mentally. Physically, not so much. I definitely feel tired. I feel wore out and overwhelmed. Some days, I do not know which direction to go. Some days I am just frustrated. Lack of physical exertion, has led to wanting to explode. But, even more important, I am not sure of where to put my energy. Like I mentioned, before, I have held onto the morals and values we are being taught in class, and I believe that has been my saving grace. Yes the only thing to keep me engaged is trying to be better every single day than I was before. Listen, as an addict, it is really easy to fall into a depression and truly not even know it. The days become darker, my mood slowly shifts to a darker thought process. Things bother me more than they used again. No this is not a pity party, this is exactly where I am at. One day at a time is what they tell us, no I have to pick my feet up and place them, one in front of the other. And some days, man, I am drowning. Drowning and I think I am floating. Floating face down maybe, but not swimming. Not moving forward. I have a goal of where I want to be in five years, ten years, even twenty years, but not tomorrow. I have looked so far into the future, that I have completely forgot about today. So, I will just keep pushing forwards. There were times in my earlier sobriety, that I felt the same way. That I felt like getting wasted and saying I don't need any of you. Thankfully, people were in my path at the perfect time to help squash those thoughts.
Today, I have my fellow teammates to think about. When one member of our team starts to slip and slide, it has a trickle effect through the rest of the team. I honestly feels, like I am bringing down everyone. But I know for a fact, that is not true. I might be struggling and wanting to turn off the computer and walk away, but I refuse to. Not just for me, but, for everyone else. You see early in my sobriety, I came to a conclusion. That is this. I may have gotten sober for me and me alone, but subliminally, I did it for you. Yes, I don't have to deal with all the drama I placed in my life, but you guys get to see and deal with a sober will. Somebody, that you would not have wanted to deal with a couple of years ago. Thursday night, a very good friend of mine made mention, that, I when I first sobered up, he did not want to deal with me. Not even sit next to me. He told me he was scared of what I might do or say, if he started a conversation with me. And lets face it, I was an animal. An animal with no regard to who I hurt or how I hurt them. Today, do understand, I do not desire to harm anyone. Physically or mentally. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, if I really hurt someone. Honestly, I want to be the example as to why people change their lives. Not as a bragging factor, but simply, as an example. I want people like me to look at me and say, If he can do it, then so can I!
So, with that being said, I need to keep being the example, I want to see. The change I desire to see in the world. I need to re-fuel this fire I had burning for so long, seemingly, so long ago. Ah, but the devil looked and saw, just how evil goodness truly is. That is the perfect example of perception that I have. Think about that statement for a moment. We all, know how good being good is, but to someone who thrives on evil, goodness is terrible for him. All in the perception. I need to re-set my sights, so I can move forward.
Look, I am used to hunting right now, but, I have no time. Frustrating. I am used to cleaning out the garden, but I have had no time. I am used to relaxing and chilling out on sundays, but, I have no time. Or do I. Am I just saying, I aint got time for that, or am I truly stretched that far out. Lets be honest, just for a moment. I am not making the time for the basics like I did earlier in the I.H.C. challenge. I have found an excuse and am running with it. And since we are being honest, I have been given the excuses to hide in my shell again. I have this feeling of being completely overwhelmed with I.H.C. And now, we have no choice but to be at open training on Saturdays now, if I want to be a part of the dragon, I need to give up that to. No not sacrifice my time, but invest in my team. I really enjoy, everything about the dragon. the teamwork, the bond we are building between each other and the dragon. It is far more than some cloth on a pole to me. It is the dragon, that represents our school. This is, way more than some cloth. This is more than a school dragon. It is an amazing opportunity to build up as a solid team. And show off some stupendous, dragon moves as a team. And finally to show everyone, what some teamwork and personal investments can do. To set the example of what can be done with friends.
So, I need to push these excuses out of my path. Maybe stomp on the excuses that I build into my mind and place into my path. I realise, that right before a break thru is made with me, all the bad parts, or negativity floods my mind and being, and gives me all sorts of reasons to not push through to the other side. And, this is a hard part. The hard part is realising, these are poisonous thoughts that are after my serenity. Realising that, I do this every time to try to squash positive growth. To stay idle, where I was. I do not know why I do this. But it is something I am working hard on. I really am trying to see these emotions and feeling for what they truly are. I am trying to embrace and love these feelings. Which, is messed up. This is a whole new norm for me. I love it. Embracing and making friends with fears and demons, then moving them outta my way. Making my fears works for me. Saying to pain and fears, yeah, buddy come on in, sit right down, lets get to be friends tell me a story pain. Let us enjoy a cup of coffee together. Show yourself fear. Lets dance, lets have a good time. I am going to continue to use my fears and pains as my gun powder to blow the top off the I.H.C. challenge. Yeah, I have been struggling, but, this cat is not going down without a fight. A fight for the rest of my life. Not my old life back, I do not want my old life back. I desire to build out of the ashes a life of meaning and worth. A life where every single step has value and purpose. Not walking simply to walk. Walking with purpose. Yeah that's right, get outta my way. Here comes Will. Smash bang pow, I stand victorious in life again. Hahahaha. Oh boy. fired up again. Now, we got to light it up, to burn it down. Whoa! Who is with me. Lets light this world on fire!!!
Okay everyone, I need to get back to the family. Try and figure out how to play action hero's with a thirty pound puppy and my beaut of boys. This is going to be a challenge!
Thank you for your time
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
Staying up 'till dawn
Hey there everyone. How's it today? A tad gloomy out there, but still a nice day. I do apologize for the tardiness of my blog. So, this weeks have been wow! Seriously insane, it was. The holy factor kicked in, on tuesday, when my wife reminded me about painting on the long weekend. I realised I had so much to do, just to prep the kitchen. Sanding, mudding, cleaning out shelves and cupboards. Many a long nights, I was ready to paint. Three nights in a row, I was up until three am, just getting stuff done. No kids, no hassles!! We basically ripped apart the entire kitchen, painted or scrubbed absolutely everything, then put everything back together. What a job, but, like journeymen, the missus and I crushed the tasks at hand. Everything worked out very nicely and the kitchen looks awesome. boo ya!
I also used the time to do some serious pondering. Pondering about direction. The path of my decisions, at hand. Sacrafices as investments. Lately, I have felt very, overwhelmed with everything on my mind right now. Kung fu at times has seemed, yeah like a chore. And I did use the lack of physical training as an opportunity, to find the value of my actions, when I am doing them. I did not do any kung fu or exercise for the week. I definatly see the value in just how doing kung fu makes me feel. Not just physically better, but, mentally better as well. I do not feel quite "all there" after this week. A lack of kung fu makes me seemingly un-stable at best. Not looking for trouble, just a chip on the shoulder. I have had no time to place my aggressions, without more sacrifices to my sleep. Normally the punching bag. But with the kitchen stuff in the garage, no room there. I honestly buried everything for a week, under new and old stuff for the kitchen, in the garage. That was an oh man moment. It worked out well. Kung fu and I Ho Chuan was on my mind the entire time. Even without doing the movements, my mind was still on the principles of what I should strive and drive for. I was still very mentally engaged. Where I wanted to go in life. My end result. Where do I wish to be. Make sure of a steady course and ensure a steady vessel to ride it out. This is going to be a long one.
Something else I have recently learnt, is the value of teamwork. The last class of I Ho Chaun, man I was bummed sitting and just watching the dragon. I do wish I was actually doing the dragon, but unless everyone wanted to step and slip and faceplant in phlem and stuff, I wasn't gonna take part. Thanks for covering for me on that one team. With that, being said, I, the teamwork I have learnt through the dragon, I have been able to use those skills at home and work. I need to trust myself enough to work with everyone else as a whole. I believe that, I am not afraid of being inadequate, but its the fear of the greatness in me, that ties me down. Its not what if I don't, it is what if I do well. Then I will always have to do really well. And what if I don't do well again, or I make a mistake and look silly. Like some flash in the pan, not a flame in the pit. That's one of my "isims" kicking in. The what ifs. Well, then. try saying that three times fast! I know its a silly thought, and these ones usually leave as fast as they enter my mind.
Kung fu in Onoway starts tomorrow night and I am looking forward to class again. I really enjoyed myself in Stony Plain. Everyone was so cool to train with and learn from. Lots of fun. The thing I really enjoy about class in Onoway, is the fact that I can train with kids. And mine at that too. Man I love kids. Just wanna push them all down!! ......just kidding. I enjoy training with Sifu Wiebe. He is very peculiar about details. With a smaller class, more one on one, sifu is able to really help us tweak our kung fu. And that is good for business folks.
Well, it is getting late and I am really tired still. The week was great. It really was a wonderful learning experience.
Thanks for you time
Mr.Duncan
I also used the time to do some serious pondering. Pondering about direction. The path of my decisions, at hand. Sacrafices as investments. Lately, I have felt very, overwhelmed with everything on my mind right now. Kung fu at times has seemed, yeah like a chore. And I did use the lack of physical training as an opportunity, to find the value of my actions, when I am doing them. I did not do any kung fu or exercise for the week. I definatly see the value in just how doing kung fu makes me feel. Not just physically better, but, mentally better as well. I do not feel quite "all there" after this week. A lack of kung fu makes me seemingly un-stable at best. Not looking for trouble, just a chip on the shoulder. I have had no time to place my aggressions, without more sacrifices to my sleep. Normally the punching bag. But with the kitchen stuff in the garage, no room there. I honestly buried everything for a week, under new and old stuff for the kitchen, in the garage. That was an oh man moment. It worked out well. Kung fu and I Ho Chuan was on my mind the entire time. Even without doing the movements, my mind was still on the principles of what I should strive and drive for. I was still very mentally engaged. Where I wanted to go in life. My end result. Where do I wish to be. Make sure of a steady course and ensure a steady vessel to ride it out. This is going to be a long one.
Something else I have recently learnt, is the value of teamwork. The last class of I Ho Chaun, man I was bummed sitting and just watching the dragon. I do wish I was actually doing the dragon, but unless everyone wanted to step and slip and faceplant in phlem and stuff, I wasn't gonna take part. Thanks for covering for me on that one team. With that, being said, I, the teamwork I have learnt through the dragon, I have been able to use those skills at home and work. I need to trust myself enough to work with everyone else as a whole. I believe that, I am not afraid of being inadequate, but its the fear of the greatness in me, that ties me down. Its not what if I don't, it is what if I do well. Then I will always have to do really well. And what if I don't do well again, or I make a mistake and look silly. Like some flash in the pan, not a flame in the pit. That's one of my "isims" kicking in. The what ifs. Well, then. try saying that three times fast! I know its a silly thought, and these ones usually leave as fast as they enter my mind.
Kung fu in Onoway starts tomorrow night and I am looking forward to class again. I really enjoyed myself in Stony Plain. Everyone was so cool to train with and learn from. Lots of fun. The thing I really enjoy about class in Onoway, is the fact that I can train with kids. And mine at that too. Man I love kids. Just wanna push them all down!! ......just kidding. I enjoy training with Sifu Wiebe. He is very peculiar about details. With a smaller class, more one on one, sifu is able to really help us tweak our kung fu. And that is good for business folks.
Well, it is getting late and I am really tired still. The week was great. It really was a wonderful learning experience.
Thanks for you time
Mr.Duncan
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