Opportunity

 Well, and then this happened. So, my straw boss, my number on site. We had a very constructive conversation a few weeks ago, and he has been pretty darn good ever since. Minor, minor issues, nothing but learning curve kinda stuff. So all is good and dandy. Yesterday happens and he does not show up to work. Well, thats not my new guy, this isnt like him. Sure, he has a reputation at work and most of it is good, but like all of us, he has demons to work on. and they are starting to catch up. They are starting to control him.... sounds like a simular situation i have been in oh, around eleven years ago. i have felt the way he looked. I know how his mind was probably racing while I was trying to carefuly explain the situation and repercussions of his prior actions. 

Talking drugs and alcohol addictions is truly a scary thing to a lot of people. I am one of them. ONly through swallowing pride and trying to squash the damn ego outta the way..... I see a lot of people get shifty when that comes up... Hitting nerves. It seems like people with these ailgments always seem to find me on site. That's cool. I really don't mind. Every one needs someone and i can relate to the boys out in the field. Yeah, eating dirt sandwiches and dust in our water. to guys like us, our crews are our families. I spend far far more time with the crew than i do the family. Like 3 months to a week kinda ratio. That's life. Take into account that we are proud to be out here. We take great pride in what we do, and get alot of heat for doing what we do. That's life. i guess, what i am saying is that it takes a breed to do this, and with that breed of people, comes a lot of ego and pride. Well, with that comes a hesitation to ask for help. It actually a real bad problem for us. Slowly, one person at a time, i help break that cycle. Anyway i can. 

Today was a tough conversation to have. It sucks walking up to a fella and knowing i am going to literally fuck his day up. Not maliciously either. Hard no. To truly put out the hand of help and say hey man, please, now is the time to say if you need help or not. Please tell me now if you need help or not my man. Thankfully he took a moment. Took a deep breath and said yes man, i need help. Perfect, now, we can start the conversation we really need to have. And we can have this conversation with the right people. And so we did. Steps and progress has been made. 

I know just simply how dark and desperate of a place his mind may be in. Man, i have seen that muther fukers eyes. Ohh i have felt him squeezing on me. Some times i still feel that devil trying me. Ha. Nice try buds, but ill tell ya one thing for free, today is not your day to fuck with me. No, probably not even tommorrow either. Schedules booked up. Ha. But, if you dont have thiose tools yet, you dont and wont know how to spin circles around that devil. Yeah it is a process. Straight up sucks some days. It is worth it though. Every single second of it. 

I really and tryly hope nothing but the best for this man. I know he has the desire in him. I saw it in his eyes. I heard it in his voice. It is all good though. You are in a good place now. So, i didi tell him and the people involved that i want him back on my crew as my straw! I want you to come back strong and sober man. You have a job with me. That i want to make very clear with everyone. I have your back here. The whole way.

So yeah, that did happen, happy it did. It kinda was a solid reminder to myself about, I guess how I don't want my life to end up. Been there, done that, no thanks at all. I am good. Ha. One day, this man I write about tonight, maybe in the future he will have the opportunity to spread his hope, his help, and his joy to someone else; just like i have been graced with. 

It is an opportunity. Because, the man upstairs did make this happen. The creator, thought up this plan and its being executed the way it is supposed to go. What do we say, when a lesson presents itself, pay attention. I now understand why this man was put on my crew. It all makes sense now. 

Welllllllllp, 

i suppose that's it for now. 

Talk to ya soon

Mr.D

Ahhh work, isn't it dandy

 Hello there. Its me, Mr.D. yeah back for another instalment of whats going on today!?!?!

Well, let me tell you what. It has definatly been a few days. I mean, where does a guy start? All sorts of issues kind of hitting us all at once. Like seriously. What the heck. Too many people looking at the mountains and not enough people looking at their jobs? I don't have the answers. I have only a speculatin or two, and that's one of them.

Yeah, i had a guy on my crew. No, he is still a kid and he needs to find his own path. I have had this young man under my wing for five almost six months in total. I have worked near him a total of ten months. Solid hand! Great worker, indeed. But an attitude that just like, holy cow, boom outta no where absolute refusal to do the task i gave him. and no, its not the best job, it sucks. It was flagging on a road. No, not the coolest job, but, i had my reasoning. One, When asked to put my crew together, I had in mind a go-to truck. The boys that can do it all for me. Dig, flag, move equipment, help set-up sites, so on and so forth. ANd ya know, it was pretty solid, until, he had to flag for me. 

Now, because, this young lad was such an awesome worker and just solid to have around, yeah, here, go flag dude. have a free afternoon of just standing and chilling about. I know standing there sucks, but, it will be on quiet roads only, and ill try to find you shade. From both guys, yeah no problem. It will be great Will, we have your back, blah blah blah...

So he pulls a refusal to do dangerous work! Now, that is actually really serious. I go to start the conversation about how we can mitigate and understand what is going on with the dangerous work. 

The roads busy and he doesn't want to dodge the cars speeding by.. We are on a quiet residential road. 3 hours, six cars. All driving slow, because ya know, no one actually wants to hit anyone..

There is not enough communication between the signal persons...we gave them working radios that i made sure work. We are within speaking distance to the work actually being done. There is no lack of communication

He did not have the proper gear, because he refused to go get the proper gear from the tool crib him, as i asked and not tell me about it until I asked him where it is when it was time to go and get to work. he was mad I sent him back to the tool crib to get the gear. 

His final argument is he didnt have his paper copy of his flagging ticket on him, so he legally could not flag. He told me this after i made up my mind to drive him into the yard and give him to safety to deal with. did not have it because he threw it out the window of his vehicle. 

Blehh... not even excuses man. After, we give him truck privildges, after raises, after praise, he thinks he can pull a stunt like this after ten months of pipelining? You do not pull that stunt after ten years experince, unless, it actually is dangerous. Then, all the power to ya. Not for this one. This is lazy. And unfortuanatly, everyone in the offices know this. All the bosses, the other spreads and bosses over on the other few projects... it is too bad, he had second chance after second chance. I literally got into an argument with the boss over even hiring this kid. Yes, bossman, you where right. 

Learning curve I suppose. So much so, I kinda sat a really contemplated if this is on me. I needed to know. One way or the other. And i honestly know, that i am "clean" in this situation. This is all on that young fella. It is too bad. maybe he can get another shot at another company, but, we are a very tightnit group. There is only so many of us in all of western canada. And we all know each other. 

I know people on three major projects, and i dont know how many smaller projects. I personally have been around for the better part of six years. My boss has fourty-two years in the buisnesss. He knows everyone. Ha. I almost feel bad for the young lad, but, you dont get to pull stunt after stunt and disrespect every single person you want just to get out of flagging. That is not how its gonna work. Ever. 

I mean, besides that, the job is going well. I feel anyhow. I am trying to slow down and follow the steps. Really concentrate about just making sure I have my paperwork my ducks and, especially my path forwards.  One foot in front of the other. so to speak. 

Anyhow, talk at ya later

Mr.Duncan

July 2, 2011

Well then. 11 years of continuous sobriety. Man that feels great. I have definitely had some ups and downs. I was thinking about things and, ya know the last time i camped for work, it was the summer i quit drinking. Ha. I am camping here for work. I have always been nervous about doing that again; and have stuck to apartments and hotels. so much nicer this time around. This time, its not psychotic. I am not so nervous about everything. i am pretty chill. Pretty calm. For the most part.

I am pretty open and honest about who i am and where i came from. So when asked bluntly to go a party, i respond with the same, no thanks, thats not something i enjoy anymore. Or, i would prefer not too, but thank you for the offer. Some people ask why, so i give them, i do not drink, and i do not go to things, places like such. But, thank you for the offer. 

Drinking, more the effort to not drink, is not the same. It's something that i have practiced for so long, that its not even in my body or mind anymore. It no longer consumes me or my life as it once did. FOr example, when i very first decided to sober up, I went to a meeting a day for the first month or two, then down to three a week. Then eventually after four years i went down to two a week. then one a week. Now, its been a while since i've been to a meeting. It is not something i feel bad or remorsful about, no, not at all. I have simply moved on. I still hear those old voices and their advice whispered, sometimes yelled at me. Ha. Loved it.

Do not get me wrong, i owe my new life and my new everything to alcoholics anonymous. Yeah, even my path to Kung Fu, did not seriously start after my new A.A. journey. ah wow. For what an exciting time it was, I sure am glad that chapter is over. Well, that would be living in the past, no need for that. No, onto new things to concur and destroy.

It is very obvious a new chapter again started yet again. And here, again, pretty darn close to my A.A. bday. You know I spoke about taking a full time foreman seat, and that is the chapter. Being the boss i always wanted to have and showing the rest of them bosses this is how its done. I will get outta the guys what i want, basically when i want it. Because i lead. I am in the trenches lets go boys!!! I have a few little motivational lines i give out too, Yeah, are you trying out for Mack tools as a tool model, because, i would quit and just worry about this ditch!! haha. All in good fun.  I have more than earned my spot, and I take it as serious as such. It has been reittertated to me, that when i step foot onto that project, everyone answers to me. Third parties, inspectors, other foreman, it is mine. Yeah, i was like wow. That's throwing a guy to the wolves, eh!?! I have been entrusted with an entire section of the project, I have got to be on my game at all times!! No sweat. I can handle this, hold my soda pop and watch this.

I had the chance to have a solid heart to heart with the fella i have worked under for my entier pipeline career. He wanted to know, so he asked, and I bluntly told him who i was and where i was going, until i changed. He asked about my past and I told him quite honestly how terrible it truly was. I told him that if wanted me to drink, he should just shoot me. Its the same result. Ha. Then things made a little more sense for him. I did say, Ya know, all bull shit aside, I have an awesome killer instinct and when i lock on to something now a days, its pretty hard to get me to faulter from that goal. He said, oh yeah, whats that goal? "To be honest, i won't be satisfied until i take over all of this Jeff. I want this world now. In short, when you are done, and you say it is time, I want your position." "I appreciatye that will!" We shook hands and carried on. 

The seed for the next twenty steps have been planted. I don't control tomorrow, but, i can alter things and ask for help. I may not be able to control what comes at me, but i can plan and have plans for plans falling apart. 

Man, thinking back, it's been quite the journey. I am proud of myself on this day. 

Here's to another 24

Will