last day

Hey there everyone what's happening? Man I just finished this toy wrestling ring for my boys. Built it outta ripped 2x4's and other materials I had kicking about the house. It turned out nicely. This ring I managed to keep under the 40lb mark! Awesome. Usually when I build stuff, it's built to survive a tank, but I toned it down for the kids. You know so they can carry it and move it on their own. It turned out really awesome. I could have really easily bought a toy ring to play with, but let's face it. These are my boys and they destroy plastic. For about twice the price, to build this thing, it will last years upon years. If something breaks, it's really easy to pull apart and fix. this is the first toy I've built outta wood, and I really enjoyed it. I'm looking towards more challenges like this.
   Brings me here.  So work isn't looking to promising, so, I've been looking at ways to make an income if the bottom falls out from under me. And I've been told, that, if you finish your job, that's pretty well it. There is little to nothing happening in the Ironworkers world. There's more on the non-union side of things, but I will not de-evolve to work for a scab company. I would and I will find work elsewhere than spit in my union brothers faces, and work scab. Ho knows, maybe building toys is my thing? It is a lot of fun, so who knows. I would like to step away from a career that is so hard on the body, but, if I have to shovel turds, then so be it. That's what I will do.
    The family will pull through. This is nothing more than a blip on the big picture. Dreams and desires, take a strong second place and survival comes first. I know what to do to survive, and it's simply a matter of doing it.  This Christmas break was a fantastic break that I needed. Get away from people. Put the phone and the tablet and the computer away and I really got back to the family.  More than usual. I have submersed myself in the kids and wife and I as worried as I am, but we will come out better than before. We always do! Why? Because that's what we do. We command and conquer. That should be our family motto. Show up, take over and Run the place and leave, like journeyman.
   In the mean time Kung fu has been great times.  Long and I are best buddies. Kempo is in there too, but more like that third wheel at this point. I keep up with kempo, but not as heartfelt as Long. I haven't been doing as much as I should have been this break, looking back, but that's cool. The form has kept its composure with me, and I with it.  And I can not get over, just how far I have come with the internal side of Long.  It's awesome! I love when I disappear into the Kung fu, how, everything in your mind, just simply flows into your body. Hands and feet become vectors of colours and sound, and it's so simple. It feels like the human body doesn't even exist.  Honestly it feels like I'm floating when I go there. Into the Kung fu void, if you will. And to think I used to have to use illegal drugs to get there, now, I use the Kung fu drug. The drug of breathing and using your internal harmonies if you might. I don't know how else to describe this feeling or this place. It, I don't know....it feels like a place of meditation, all calm and serene. It's usually bright, depending on my mood, but always a feeling of completeness. There is this specific smell, that I experienced years ago in this really intense hallucinogen that I used to use a lot of. And I thought I caught a whiff of it, while training. It surprised me threw me for a loop, because this drug takes you on a very much out of body experience. And certain sounds and smells comes with this place, that you visit. I called it the other side. It's where I met the grim reaper and learnt to not fear death! That's where the reaper on my right arm came from. Haha. Sounds crazy, and maybe it is, but it's an experience that's makes me "me". But, anyways, these smells I've held onto for years and I think I caught a whiff of it the other night. Oh I was excited. I got there to that place, again, but on my own. Crazy, man, I never thought I'd see the day that I could get to that place without the use of narcotics.  Awesome! That my friends is progress. I've been chewing on the smell for years and almost gave up on finding it again. Such a magical smell. The smell of calm. If calmness had a smell, this is the scent I search for, while in meditation. I know that smell anywhere. And it is not anywhere, it's right there! If that makes sense to you. If not, I'll see ya soon

Anyhow, that's enough rambling on for now
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan

Calm, like a tornado

    Good day to all. What's cracking? Enjoying your Christmas gifts and family? Let's hope so. I know I am.  Well, let's kick this quick, I've got more family to hang with. Never ending.

    So, Long has been very rewarding. I'm really getting into it.  I've got the motions and essence of this form, but, now I'm working on stances and intentions. This far in the form, I've been doing it with eyes shut.  Concentrating on getting the body to remember what's the next step. Muscle memory. Now, I need to break the stances into high gear. Time to make this form really work for me.  

  Man, I'm loving the disappearing into Kung fu.  That has really served me. Especially with all the stress that comes with Christmas time.  I have a hard time calming down some days. Some days I would like to fire up chuck and get swinging, but, I really want to curb this temper of mine.  There are days I just cannot slow down and breath. Smoking doesn't help, but that's beyond the point right now.  You know the feeling. You start getting mad, the mind becomes confused and cloudy. Actions don't make sense and then the verbal diarrhea comes out.  There are a few tools I have to help combat my temper. But the one thing that truly helps, Kung fu. I don't need to be physically practicing it, even just thinking about it helps ground me.  If I'm really agitated, talking to someone about Kung fu. Describing the motions, tearing into what it means for me. Explaining how Kung fu has served me, instantly takes me out of my head and into service if you might.  There's my passion though. Kung fu is my passion and I have goals short and long term that revolve around Kung fu. So revisiting these goals and what not, really helps take me back to what I am doing this for. 

   One thing I have been looking at and working towards is a safe place for children to hang and play and express themselves with out fear of ridicule and hovering parents.  There are so many variables involved here. It's a lot more than just renting a hall for an hour a week. Man alive, things like pedophiles, insurance, what ifs, like what happens if a younger child needs help in the washroom? What happens if someone says something silly, like I was inappropriate with a child. One thing I will fight you for is the safety a loving place for children. No not coddled, but supportive.  So looking at doing this on a larger scale, is, well, kinda scary. But, it is the way of the world today. I'm not giving up on this, but, further reaserch is needed.  More conversations with people who work with children. I  know a social worker, and next time we meet, I will be talking about more details of this topic.  My end goal with this is something like this.  A place for kids to go, from ages of 6-16, to go and hang out. Introduce ways with these kids to positively express themselves. Through artwork, poetry, writing and positive actions.  I would like to grab one of the older kids and teach them the ways of a positive role model for some of the younger ones. Or something along those lines. It's still very much a paper dream. This is something that might just have to wait until I am a black belt. More for legal and reputable reasons.  But, that's cool. Right now though, I can reach out to some kids. There are a few kids that come and hang out on Wednesday nights. And there is this little girl, who's like, Will are you gonna draw with me? And I don't even have my work boots off. Okay kido, please give me a moment. And then we draw and colour. I ask that she's draws whatever she likes, as long as she does the best that she possibly can. And you know what? He artwork has flourished. I make sure she knows that too. There are things at her home, that, really aren't that positive. I grew up in a home that was a lot like her's. So I can really sympathize with her. I remember this one day, boy she was saucy. So I said to her, kido, I can not draw with out my secret power. Do you know what that is? It's your smile. So if you can give me a great big smile, then I can totally draw all night long. So she hides her face and pretends that she not smiling. And then we coloured. I never forget to tell her, that she means something to me. That she is an awesome kid. And she is very unique and has the potential to rule the world! Man I love kids. Best thing ever.

   Anyhow, there are people walking up my font stop, and I'm still in pjs. 

Gotta go folks.

See you soon

Mr.Duncan

The "long" of it

hey there everyone. You like what I did there? The "long" of it?! Haha. I'm so funny. Well, that's what I've been focusing on lately. Long I & II. I had long I down to a t. Then I started to work out long II and somehow managed to get the two terribly confused.  That's okay though. Steady progress and I think I've almost got it licked now.  Now I just need to stay slow and steady.  Stances, and intention.  Bring that dragon out and smash this outta the park.  The turning point I believe, for the form, was simply changing my perception of it.  Dragons breath, dragons intent, dragons energy. I don't know about you guys, but from what reaserch I've completed on the dragon, they don't move unless they want to. And they don't waste their energy.  Very peculiar very precise movement. So if you are making a dragon move, then you best be on your allstar game. Like all of our animals, they move with distinct purpose and intent, nor do they waste energy. The dragon, in particular, is such a powerful entity, that he doesn't have to move if he doesn't want to. Why would you when your only equal is the Phoenix? They control the rivers, the winds. They command the earth and bow down to only the imperial emperor.  Kinda sounds like Darth Vader. My kinda guy.  When they do move, from how I understand and depending on what dragon it is in particular, they move to a rhythm of un-heard music. Rather that this music is almost incomprehensible by the human ear.  But, through meditation and concentration, you too can hear this music.  It is in our lineage. It is what we do. It is Kempo Kung Fu.
   I had a crazy bit of an experience with this form, and that was getting lost in it and, hearing the Kung fu. Feeling the Kung fu.  Something almost magical.  You can feel it, you can hear it, you can see it with your mind, but you can not physically touch this magic.  You, touch it, with your movements.  And, well, its best explained, if you check it out.   Whatever form you are working on.  Try this.  When you feel confident in your form, close your eyes and just let your body move. Feel, the Kung fu come through you. Be aware of your body, but do not pay much attention to it.  Be aware you are stepping and blocking, but do not force it. Be aware of the chi running through your veins.  But do not pay attention to it.  Allow Kung fu to do its job, and maybe you will see the Kung fu in your minds. It's the same concept as Tai-Chi. For me, when I disappear into Kung fu, it's almost like streaks of light moving where your limbs are. With each movement a vibration in the molecules around you is created, thus creating a humming noise. This humming noise, depending on how deep into you are, creates music. For me it is a slight humming, but, with purpose. And when this is done with flow and intention, the music comes forth. I believe that's out six harmonies working.
   I'm no master martial artist, nor do I get this wonderful experience each and every time.  But, I do look forward to and cherish this time spent with Kung fu.  When, I do get to this place in the universe, I feel invincible. But I also feel peace. It feels like I could take on an Mack truck and come out unscathed, but I would rather step out of the way,  ya know?
   I try to hold onto that same place when I take to the heavy bags. It's harder here to get there, wherever there is. More to concentrate on, especially with a heavy bag bouncing around. This area has some what eluded me, more than other areas of training the mind and body to work together without thinking about it.   I just get excited when I start hitting things.  Still working on not letting unthoughtful actions take over, but more thoughtful reactions. Been a long journey, but, well worth it.   And to be quite honest, pushing on Long has really helped get back to a place of calmness. First, I was thinking and processing, now, I'm trying to be Long. If this works like results have already  shown, I will apply this to each and every form I've ever learnt! That's exciting just thinking about it.
Effortless effort being the end goal.

 "No longer do I practice Long, but, rather, I practice being Long"

See you soon
Mr.Duncan

quite quickly

  Holy cold batman. It's a great start to winter.  Let's just dive right into it. Sounds great. Well I'm not too sure what to say today.  Class was great on Thursday.  The Demo is looking good.  Looking real good.  It's real awesome to see how things and line ups get changed around and everyone adapts so nicely.  That's real cool.  there are some really cool weapon forms, that are looking really good.  You guys are awesome.  I had lots of fun.

  In my form there's a transition into a horse stance, and it feels sloppy. You know, it works, but it doesn't really work.  Putting in these extra reps, I'm just not liking it. So, further practice on that part is needed.  For me I find, when I get stuck on a part of a form evolving, just go over it and let the Kung fu take over. The answers will come. Repetition of the same part allows the body and mind to get to where it wants to be. And I do believe that our minds and bodies will find the easiest or simplest way to do a technique. I have been told that simplicity is one of the keys in martial arts.  Looking for the efficient way to do something. Use as little energy as possible.  Right so, That transition not only feels sloppy it costs me energy because it's so sloppy. Hmm okay.  Makes perfect sense. Time to evolve there.

See you soon
Mr.Duncan

desires

Well howdy do neighbors. So, how was your day?  Mines going well, it is.  Before we get to Kung fu, let's go here. On my last blog, a comment was made about understanding the desire to smoke, or drink for that matter.  So, today I'm going to try to answer that.
  The desire to drink or to use, was once upon a time a desire to fit in. A desire to feel better about yourself. A desire to make friends. A desire to be different. A person like me, I had very few friends growing up, and alcohol gave me the courage to talk to people. The courage and strength to say things normallly I wouldn't say.  When you're feeling good from the effects, anything can come out of your mouth. You turn from a duck into an eagle. Actions you normally wouldn't take, have been taken.  There was also peer pressure, but let's face it. Nobody ever held a gun to my head and said drink this. So peer pressure arguments only go so far, then you really got to look at yourself. It's not your buddies making you do this, it's you, making you do this.  But a sick alcoholic or addict, will never will-fully look at themselves and say, yup, this consequence is a direct result of my actions. No! No, they do not say that. Maybe one in ten....say it and mean it, maybe. They say things like, oh my dad didn't hug me enough, or I was beaten or I was assaulted as a kid, which gave me all sorts of issues, but, no, it's not my fault I am here, it's some one else's fault.  That's the easier softer way. Do note, that yes those things happen, and they are really hard to deal with, and not everyone knows of a better way. I do agree, there are many still suffering that are out there, that just, pure and simply do not know any better.  There are arguments and situations, that may be "unique" to this un-written rule, but, I can and will argue with you, on the merits of that argument. Yes, there's also the desire to be an anarchist, and not listen to your folks and the elders in your life.  The desire to be a free loving hippie teenager, is also there.  The desire to be free. Free from society, free from others expectations.  Free to do whatever I want. All of these desires and many more are because, you don't like something about you. Dually noted. Right then.
    In my eyes and experiences, all of the above mentioned "desires" if you might, are fairly good reasons to try and experiment new things.  Nothing wrong with experimenting.  Lord knows I've done enough experimenting with enough things that, my perception has forever been changed on a lot of topics and life issues.  But, what I'm wanting to say is this. With many, eventually, the desire to be something you are not, gets lost in translation, and the desire turns into habit. Now, this is the volatile variable. This variable is different for everyone.  This is the TSN turning point, where experimentation, turns into addiction. For some people it's after one sip or one hit. For others, they can drink or use their whole life and addiction never rears its ugly head.  I was one of the for-mentioned. And having drugs and alcohol turn into addiction so quickly, that, experimentation is hidden under an excuse. And excuses is nothing more than a rationalization. And rationalization is giving a socially accepted reason for socially unacceptable behaviour. And socially unacceptable behaviour is another form of insanity. And if insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results every time, you can see how closely the two items are tied into each other. It's really a vicious cycle, that most don't even realize they are doing or are in. Now let's pause and think of the still sufferer who does not know the items I just stated. That same paragraph would look like this:
    Dude, I don't know! No idea why, I'm doing this again....Yes, I do remember last weekend and being arrested. I do remember smashing my truck. Yes. That does suck, but, don't worry, I'll take it easy tonight. I just need this right now. I need it.....And the cycle is on repeat. Most of us are in DENIAL. Don't Even Notice It's A Lie. But if you don't know, you don't know. A major inner awakening or mass spiritual enlightenment is needed at this point. No more labels or confusion, just keep it simple so I can understand. This brain is damaged and doesn't work "right". My spirits been shattered and my heart is hurting. So I put on this rough exterior and take another sip, and I'm that eagle again. And this disease wins again.  This short and curly of it is this, "most alcoholics, for reasons yet unknown, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into conscience with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defence against the first drink." And the circle rages on and on.
 
So in Kung fu news, I had a terrible cold/flu like thing this week and I'm just getting over the chest part of it.  I think part of it is a detox from the serious cigarette cut back, I've managed to hold onto. Right up to Thursday night I was whipped. Feel a lot better now. I pulled the escrimas out for a little on saturday, after kiddos birthday party. This week, I am dedicating myself to them. I have been putting them on the back burner. I don't know why, I'm really happy when I am playing and working the escrimas. I have been focusing on hand forms and I am happy with how kempo and long are both progressing.  I really really like long hand form.  Such purpose to every move. And thinking about long before I get into it, is something that I really enjoy. Long is Chinese for dragon. And dragon stands for our spirit and our breath. For me, the form took a whole new stance after I applied those thoughts to this form. Very empowering. Trying to figure out long II is a lot of fun.  I really enjoy the challenge.

Well, I figure I've gone on long enough
Have a nice week
Mr.Duncan