Hey ya, how ya doing today? Boy today has been flying by. We had a birthday party for my oldest boy yesterday. We went to the Space and Science center to check out the dinosaurs, and the other exhibits that are there. Was a good time. Alex brought two of his buddies with him and to wrap up the night with pizza, a movie and a sleepover. Good times. The boys had a good time, from what I can tell.
Now I wanted to talk about my last blog. After re-reading it a few times there where statements I made that sounded hypocritical. Now, when I speak on embracing my other side, and that I have a healthy fear of that side, it is different from when, the crazy side just showing up and exploding all over the place. Find myself knife in hand, sight clouded by frustration and anger. Ready to take things to that "point". I have been re-educated to help work with that side of me with love and tenderness. And so, embracing that dark side is exactly what I need to do. I spent a lot of time with a professional on dealing with that side of me. The only success we had in drawing the demons out, and looking them in the eye, was with love. Not anger. Believe me, I tried the anger way. "Hey get outta my head!" With all sorts of curse words involved in that statement. Who knew? Most certainly not me. I used violence and anger to solve everything before. Today, I use love and understanding. As much as I can anyhow. Finally, I have always been a firm believer, that you will never know exactly who you are, until you educate yourself, in the insane side of your being. You will never fully understand, if you are a runner, why you run. If you are a fighter, why you stay to fight. As a child I ran from everything, once I got sick of being picked on and pushed about, I became a fighter. Push me into that locker again buddy. I will patiently wait for my opportunity to get you alone and then, we will see exactly who is the sissy! Shortly after, I fully embraced the fighter side, if you might. But, even then, I was lost in the emotions. the remorse of physically hurting someone became too much to handle. So I used and abused to push those feelings and emotions outta the way. I mean, how can I be taken seriously if I am feeling remorse? Thankfully, I now, know and understand that I need love to combat anger. I need patience to battle that right now feeling. But, I had to go there, on my journey, to be able to come here, and see what real success is. That's fantastic, right there! Would not change one thing that I have ever done, for anything.
Okay, lets move on shall we. Can only kick a dead horse for too long. Work has been absolutely disgusting lately. People getting fired, people walking off the job. All over pride and ego. The boss we have still thinks in a 1980 thought process, and in our business, if you can not adapt with the times, you will get your crew fired, banned from site, not too mention you will loose your crew. Then what, the job comes to a standstill. Morale continues plummeting at a high speed. I watched this happen and I honestly tried to intervene. Me walking off the job two weeks ago, wasn't intended on starting a trend. I wanted to open everyone's eyes to what was happening on site. I got the desired results and all the training we need. But, it is too late for a lot of the guys on site. And so, chaos ensues! Great. Only after, this company called all sorts of guys to get them to take this foreman position, and they all turned it down, then you look at the guys on site who know what is going on, for them to take this position. I am not sure on how to take this. Partially I feel like saying no, because I am your last ditch effort for a foreman. But, I want to take the opportunity to show the boss how you properly run a crew and site. So, yeah I am a little insulted that they did not come to me, but once I get my ego out of the way, I will be able to divide and conquer this project and then this company I work for. I will show them, just like I have shown every other nay-sayer in my way lately.
Now, lets talk kung fu. This week was dismal at best. I missed class Wednesday night. I barley did a few hundred push ups and sit ups. I did not record anything past Tuesday morning. I spent time on the heavy bag this week, but it was not with the right intention. I had, other things on my mind. I use my punching bags to be rid of frustration and anger. When I do use the punching bags to build the combos, it is really awesome. Internally I can feel the spirit and intentions coming as one and combos just flow from the center of my being. When I use the punching bags as an excuse to hit something, I do not think clearly, my mind wanders and I put people place or things on the punching bags and the intentions turn to hurting people, places and things. Then, honestly, I want to hurt people. I start to fantasize about situations or conversations that will not happen and I loose all positive energy and growth. Then I do what I did this week. I turn inward, and I do think that you people are out to get me. Then I want to stay away from people. It is real easy to be a hermit and stay in my garage and hide from the sun. That's the easier softer way. I come out of the shadows last night and reviewed my theory notes. It is a small, but critical step, I need to take in getting re-engaged. Anything that gets me out of my head. Out of the thoughts that I am not worthy of being around the I Ho Chuan team. The thoughts that I will just drag down everyone. But, right there. That thought right there, can go find itself. Man, that is such a poisonness thought, not just for me to think, but anyone to think. I hear things like, I don't belong here. Or it is just not worth it. So what are you saying? Are you saying you would rather sell yourselves short and just quit, then prove your damn mind wrong. You would rather accept this boring situation as the way it is? Look at yourself in the mirror and just try to convince yourself of that. Just try to convince yourself that the work is not worth it. Yes that is a challenge for all of you. I don't know about you, but I will no longer accept a lesser situation as the way I should live or perceive myself. I am worth more than this and so is everyone on this team. So whether, you are in Grande Cache or some work camp, or sitting on a plane, or struggling with your sanity, we are all worth any extra effort we set forth on. We are a team, and when one person struggles, we all struggle. Forget this average life that society says we need to embrace. No more will I accept that, as a way to live. I do not accept average. So, I guess it is no longer me fighting the world. It is simply being the change I wish to see. What ever happened before is of no concern. Put those lessons in my back pocket and look at progress. That was life, and that happened. We have learnt from that lesson. Time to push forward.
Finally, music is a huge apart of my life. Always will be, always has been. And just last week one of my favorite artists released a new track. Its called "Kings Never Die" by Eminem. I don't know about you, but that man has released some music that really talks to me, with the addictions and alcoholism he sings on. He sings about stuff, I never had the courage to talk to others about. Then I hear him sing on the that same topic, well, it makes me wonder why I do not talk about these topics. His music straight up brings me back to where I came from. When he releases a song like this one or Bezerk or Survival, man alive I feel like flying front kicking life in the groin, yesterday! Yeah baby, Yeah!!
Anyhow, I am gonna go put my kung fu back together and start rebuilding what I broke last week!!
Have a nice sunday everyone.
Mr.Duncan
Sunday, 26 July 2015
Sunday, 19 July 2015
Another "Crazy" Week
Good Sunday everyone. I see the mini donut guy is just getting set up, so we have some time! So lets get to it shall we. Oh boy oh boy where do I start? This week was full of ups and downs. My temper flared like it hasn't in a long time. And I had reached a new level of awesomeness in a program I work in my spare time.
So I will start here, I guess. Work has been really bothering me lately. it isn't the heights or the type of work that I am doing. See I am an ironworker. One of the top dogs of the jobsite, you have no argument. There is very little that I will not do in order to be the best ironworker around. Yes mastery has reached well into my career. I will not accept average, typical jerk me around attitudes anymore. I call out people and their b.s. when it gets too thick. I especially hate being lied to. You want to loose me on a job, start amusing me. I dare you. tell me exactly what I want to hear. I walk at that point now. I carry no loyalty to any company. In fact, I cannot express how I truly feel about companies and how they take advantage of their workers, here on this blog, because I do not have the vocabulary to do it, without spewing hate everywhere. But on this job in particular, we are going outside of the workscope of an ironworker. We are doing a lot of rope access and positioning. which, is really cool, but, it is out of my work scope. We, as a crew, have been asking very nicely for six weeks for training. Then these retards hire, this retard as my new partner. Well, as soon as I looked at this "child" I was furious. I straight up told him, he is not an ironworker. Your too soft. But, I carried on. Started to teach this guy what I know about ropes and knots and hitches. Then it hit me like a sledgehammer in the teeth. I don't know if I am or should be teaching this guy anything because of my own lack of training. Now, with the only guy who has more that two weeks of experience of rope work going on vacation, I wondered, where is my fricken training? At this point, I refuse to take this wannabe ironworker over the edge and place my life in his hands. Especially, once I saw how he reacted to the edge and the sheer drop off. Now, I need to pause for a second. This is no office building job, where I can stick him in the mail room when he makes messes up. It is not a place to laugh and say, hahaha, maybe next time you wont drop your spud wrench and send it through somebodies fricken skull. There is no next time for us. Our tools will kill if something is unleashed. People die when we make mistakes. So, I have to put all my trust into my partner. My life and others. If I cannot do that, or I feel reserved about my partner, I usually push forward and keep a very close eye on things. But this guy, can go back to whatever hole in the ground he came from. I expressed my frustrations about everything with my boss. He says, you know what your gonna do about your training and your new partner? Nothing. You don't need training. You will be fine. Well, Willie exploded all over the map. The end result was I cleaned off my belt and walked off site, on my own accord. Do not jerk me off, I warned him. I got the call, form the field supervisor about an hour later. Asking and pleading me to go back. It will be different, this time. We will get you trained, this time. So I asked him a very simple question. How sick is it, that someone has to do something drasrtic, like quit and have a melt down all over the place, before change happens. How come it has taken six weeks and we still have not been trained? Answer me that. And he laughed and agreed with me. Yup, its absurd, he tells me. Hmm, you missed the point, I responded. The conversation got real quit. So, I did swallow another load of crap and I will go back to the job Monday morn. Any lip service or b.s. from here on out and I am done. Thursday I spoke to two people about this. One offered great conversation and the other offered a job. I will decide in the next week or two what is going to happen for the rest of my summer.
On the complete polar opposite of the coin, I have been working with this fellow, working the program. That experience was amazing. I cannot get into the details too much, but in essence, we tore his past apart, singular event by singular event and looked at his part in everything. He was kind of depressed about it. I mean, people can do some really crappy stuff when using and abusing. But, I had to remind him that this is who you where, not who you are. No more do you have to haunted by these demons. No more do they have power over you. I promised him, if he was thorough and honest from the very beginning, he gets to kick his demons right in the mouth. All day long. I have been on the tearing apart end, never on the guiding through the work part. and what an experience. To watch someone, who came to me hunched over and embarrassed and holding onto secrets; to walking tall and looking me and the world in the eyes, is a phenomenal experience. I love seeing people win and gosh darn it, he just won!! And I reminded him that from here on out, your past no longer matters. That is what you did, it no longer defines you. No longer can these secrets hold you back. That's a big pill to swallow but, once embraced its an amazing experience. From here, we try to show and uphold the principles we learn and apply them to our daily lives. Being kind and aware of our words and actions is our top priority. If we have accomplished nothing in the day, except for a few positive words about others, that is a victory for the day. Have faith and just believe you are worth every moment of this I told him. You have suffered enough. No more is needed. Time to enjoy yourself. And he is. we text all day and he constantly expresses his gratitude for living. and that stuff right there, just fires me right up. I want to go stand on top of a mountain and start setting off avalanches with my war cries!!!
Kung Fu was good this week. But, really, when is kung fu not good? Numbers varied again and most noticeably was my A.O.K. I was in such a insane mood this week, that I really did not step out of my comfort zone to help or be positive towards anybody. I was very busy internalising things. I needed to shut people out, so, I could sort myself out. Otherwise, I will just hurt people's feelings. Friday night was another decent night working with the dragon and doing that demo. I was informed that I would be able to stick to the tail of the dragon. Sifu decided, that I would do best there. Cool I said. He completely took me off guard, but I am glad that he asked me to do the tail. Its a lot of fun. I really do enjoy it. Even being whipped around!! That will get better, just need to continue practicing. And furthermore, what a cool opportunity. How many people on this earth have the chance to do things like dragon dancing, or lion dancing. Very very few. I would like to guess, less than one percent of the population. This is going to be so cool. I am fricken dragon tail!!! I always wanted to be a dragon. This is not what I had in my mind when I was going to be a dragon, but now, I don't want to go through with the weird surgeries and stuff. I can just hold a pole. Almost the same. Hahaha. I am quite enjoying working with Sifu T.Playter. I got to work with her last summer and forgot at how much fun she is to learn from. She will stop the group to ensure the one student is understanding the work she is asking from us. From a student perspective, that shows she really does care about us doing well. That's awesome. Woot woot.
Finally, I went to a golf tournament on Saturday. That kind of sucked. I had a great time being with my wife, in what little nature is left on a gold course. Getting lost in the moment was real easy. There was so much sitting and waiting and doing nothing, that I got a couple of five min naps in. Found all sorts of golf balls, but I just could not help but think, what a waste of land. What an even larger waste of resources. Holy just pissing money away. Then I could not help but think and the hypocrisy that these golf courses stand for. And I wasn't angry, I was saddened. Its a disgusting state that I saw. How, in the middle of the worst drought in fifty years, is your entire golf course flawless. How? When I am not supposed to water my garden every day are you allowed to steal water from the farmers and poison with your fertilizers and pesticides, then pour it all over the ground. Like how does that even make sense? Ahhh, never again, will I do that. It made me sick to play there. Honestly, the smells of chemicals, is all I could smell. Disgusting. So, how do I be the change I want to see there? Well, all I can do is not support it. I want to light it the course on fire and watch that mofo burn. " Some people aren't looking for anything logical. They cannot be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some people just want to watch the world burn!!" Yeah I am one of those people!! Let me start with the golf courses, then to the office towers!! Then the banks! Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Yup, went a little sideways this week, let the crazy side out, just a little bit. Gave that side of me some freedom and fresh air. Would you like to know a secret? A lot of the time, I really like to embrace the insane side of me. Sometimes, I really enjoy going there. I enjoy seeing what exactly the darker side is plotting. I have a very healthy fear of that side of me. It is like the yin and yen. Everyone has two sides, do not deny it. Its only a matter on how much does it scare you. Do you hide from it, or are you willing to embrace that side of your being? I know why I enjoy going there, it can be a lot of fun!! Don't be scared, just let go, and let insanity take over for a while. Madness is a lot like gravity, you know. Sometimes all you need is a little push! I have been deemed, psychotic before, so I know just about how far I can go. Do you? hehe haha hoho!
Thanks for your time
Have a wonderful day
Mr.Duncan
So I will start here, I guess. Work has been really bothering me lately. it isn't the heights or the type of work that I am doing. See I am an ironworker. One of the top dogs of the jobsite, you have no argument. There is very little that I will not do in order to be the best ironworker around. Yes mastery has reached well into my career. I will not accept average, typical jerk me around attitudes anymore. I call out people and their b.s. when it gets too thick. I especially hate being lied to. You want to loose me on a job, start amusing me. I dare you. tell me exactly what I want to hear. I walk at that point now. I carry no loyalty to any company. In fact, I cannot express how I truly feel about companies and how they take advantage of their workers, here on this blog, because I do not have the vocabulary to do it, without spewing hate everywhere. But on this job in particular, we are going outside of the workscope of an ironworker. We are doing a lot of rope access and positioning. which, is really cool, but, it is out of my work scope. We, as a crew, have been asking very nicely for six weeks for training. Then these retards hire, this retard as my new partner. Well, as soon as I looked at this "child" I was furious. I straight up told him, he is not an ironworker. Your too soft. But, I carried on. Started to teach this guy what I know about ropes and knots and hitches. Then it hit me like a sledgehammer in the teeth. I don't know if I am or should be teaching this guy anything because of my own lack of training. Now, with the only guy who has more that two weeks of experience of rope work going on vacation, I wondered, where is my fricken training? At this point, I refuse to take this wannabe ironworker over the edge and place my life in his hands. Especially, once I saw how he reacted to the edge and the sheer drop off. Now, I need to pause for a second. This is no office building job, where I can stick him in the mail room when he makes messes up. It is not a place to laugh and say, hahaha, maybe next time you wont drop your spud wrench and send it through somebodies fricken skull. There is no next time for us. Our tools will kill if something is unleashed. People die when we make mistakes. So, I have to put all my trust into my partner. My life and others. If I cannot do that, or I feel reserved about my partner, I usually push forward and keep a very close eye on things. But this guy, can go back to whatever hole in the ground he came from. I expressed my frustrations about everything with my boss. He says, you know what your gonna do about your training and your new partner? Nothing. You don't need training. You will be fine. Well, Willie exploded all over the map. The end result was I cleaned off my belt and walked off site, on my own accord. Do not jerk me off, I warned him. I got the call, form the field supervisor about an hour later. Asking and pleading me to go back. It will be different, this time. We will get you trained, this time. So I asked him a very simple question. How sick is it, that someone has to do something drasrtic, like quit and have a melt down all over the place, before change happens. How come it has taken six weeks and we still have not been trained? Answer me that. And he laughed and agreed with me. Yup, its absurd, he tells me. Hmm, you missed the point, I responded. The conversation got real quit. So, I did swallow another load of crap and I will go back to the job Monday morn. Any lip service or b.s. from here on out and I am done. Thursday I spoke to two people about this. One offered great conversation and the other offered a job. I will decide in the next week or two what is going to happen for the rest of my summer.
On the complete polar opposite of the coin, I have been working with this fellow, working the program. That experience was amazing. I cannot get into the details too much, but in essence, we tore his past apart, singular event by singular event and looked at his part in everything. He was kind of depressed about it. I mean, people can do some really crappy stuff when using and abusing. But, I had to remind him that this is who you where, not who you are. No more do you have to haunted by these demons. No more do they have power over you. I promised him, if he was thorough and honest from the very beginning, he gets to kick his demons right in the mouth. All day long. I have been on the tearing apart end, never on the guiding through the work part. and what an experience. To watch someone, who came to me hunched over and embarrassed and holding onto secrets; to walking tall and looking me and the world in the eyes, is a phenomenal experience. I love seeing people win and gosh darn it, he just won!! And I reminded him that from here on out, your past no longer matters. That is what you did, it no longer defines you. No longer can these secrets hold you back. That's a big pill to swallow but, once embraced its an amazing experience. From here, we try to show and uphold the principles we learn and apply them to our daily lives. Being kind and aware of our words and actions is our top priority. If we have accomplished nothing in the day, except for a few positive words about others, that is a victory for the day. Have faith and just believe you are worth every moment of this I told him. You have suffered enough. No more is needed. Time to enjoy yourself. And he is. we text all day and he constantly expresses his gratitude for living. and that stuff right there, just fires me right up. I want to go stand on top of a mountain and start setting off avalanches with my war cries!!!
Kung Fu was good this week. But, really, when is kung fu not good? Numbers varied again and most noticeably was my A.O.K. I was in such a insane mood this week, that I really did not step out of my comfort zone to help or be positive towards anybody. I was very busy internalising things. I needed to shut people out, so, I could sort myself out. Otherwise, I will just hurt people's feelings. Friday night was another decent night working with the dragon and doing that demo. I was informed that I would be able to stick to the tail of the dragon. Sifu decided, that I would do best there. Cool I said. He completely took me off guard, but I am glad that he asked me to do the tail. Its a lot of fun. I really do enjoy it. Even being whipped around!! That will get better, just need to continue practicing. And furthermore, what a cool opportunity. How many people on this earth have the chance to do things like dragon dancing, or lion dancing. Very very few. I would like to guess, less than one percent of the population. This is going to be so cool. I am fricken dragon tail!!! I always wanted to be a dragon. This is not what I had in my mind when I was going to be a dragon, but now, I don't want to go through with the weird surgeries and stuff. I can just hold a pole. Almost the same. Hahaha. I am quite enjoying working with Sifu T.Playter. I got to work with her last summer and forgot at how much fun she is to learn from. She will stop the group to ensure the one student is understanding the work she is asking from us. From a student perspective, that shows she really does care about us doing well. That's awesome. Woot woot.
Finally, I went to a golf tournament on Saturday. That kind of sucked. I had a great time being with my wife, in what little nature is left on a gold course. Getting lost in the moment was real easy. There was so much sitting and waiting and doing nothing, that I got a couple of five min naps in. Found all sorts of golf balls, but I just could not help but think, what a waste of land. What an even larger waste of resources. Holy just pissing money away. Then I could not help but think and the hypocrisy that these golf courses stand for. And I wasn't angry, I was saddened. Its a disgusting state that I saw. How, in the middle of the worst drought in fifty years, is your entire golf course flawless. How? When I am not supposed to water my garden every day are you allowed to steal water from the farmers and poison with your fertilizers and pesticides, then pour it all over the ground. Like how does that even make sense? Ahhh, never again, will I do that. It made me sick to play there. Honestly, the smells of chemicals, is all I could smell. Disgusting. So, how do I be the change I want to see there? Well, all I can do is not support it. I want to light it the course on fire and watch that mofo burn. " Some people aren't looking for anything logical. They cannot be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some people just want to watch the world burn!!" Yeah I am one of those people!! Let me start with the golf courses, then to the office towers!! Then the banks! Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Yup, went a little sideways this week, let the crazy side out, just a little bit. Gave that side of me some freedom and fresh air. Would you like to know a secret? A lot of the time, I really like to embrace the insane side of me. Sometimes, I really enjoy going there. I enjoy seeing what exactly the darker side is plotting. I have a very healthy fear of that side of me. It is like the yin and yen. Everyone has two sides, do not deny it. Its only a matter on how much does it scare you. Do you hide from it, or are you willing to embrace that side of your being? I know why I enjoy going there, it can be a lot of fun!! Don't be scared, just let go, and let insanity take over for a while. Madness is a lot like gravity, you know. Sometimes all you need is a little push! I have been deemed, psychotic before, so I know just about how far I can go. Do you? hehe haha hoho!
Thanks for your time
Have a wonderful day
Mr.Duncan
Sunday, 12 July 2015
Working The Program
Hey there, today. How is going today? Man, its good my way. Family is back from B.C. It is nice to have every one back at home. As much as I hoped they had a good time, it is best if we stay close as a family. I certainly felt the emptiness without them at home. I did find other things to do, and had an amazing week because of taking hold of different opportunities. I am, now training, full time in Stony Plain. I look forward to training in the Stony Kwoon. It is awesome getting all sorts of different views on the same topic.
My best day last week is a tie between Wednesday night with Sifu Tymchuck and Tuesday night with the kids class. Man, that was cool Tuesday night Sifu Playter with like two minutes before class is to start asks if I wanted warm-up. Honestly, that took me by surprise, but, of course, I jumped on the opportunity. And, me being me, I was stressed out. Did I do enough? was the warm-up good enough? Did I just make an arse of myself? I was assured I did well, and the whole process felt fantastic. So I will take a success marker there!! I had a lot of fun that night working with those kids. Another passion of mine. Being with children and helping them grow, if only for the one hour, is well worth the efforts. Wednesday night, working with Sifu Tymchuck, was just wicked. He gave me numerous opportunities to grow and learn. And, with Sifu demoing on me in front of everyone, really did help me learn what he was teaching. Now, I have done lots of arm bars in class, and I can do the very well, but, I needed to learn them again. I am glad I did because there was a move in the arm bar, that I never realised was there. Huh!?! Imagine that. I listened and learnt something new. Weird! Just like Sifu Ryback was explaining. Walk in ready to learn, admitting I know nothing about nothing and the results will be amazing. Hahaha. And the results were.
Something else truly magical, happened this week. See, on Thursday nights, I go hang out with a pretty close knit group of people. We get together weekly to share our experience, strength and hope with each other. To help those still suffering, and to remind ourselves of what is waiting for us, if we do not stay spiritually fit. So, one of the newer fellas is really struggling with accepting life on life's terms. He truly wants to grow and succeed. He just needs help getting there. So, everyone is getting ready to leave for the night, and this dude comes and asks me for help. Listen, he and I will be tearing his past apart, so he can rebuild for the future. Normally, I will not take on a responsibility like that. There are so many variables while going through this process. I have helped others before that, just start making progress with their lives, and then start to think I got this. I can do what I used to do with out reservation. They go back out and use and abuse worse than before. Well, unfortunately, a lot of people like that, will die on the streets, not kidding. I work with people whose lives are on the brink of suicide, ready to just quit on life. Some of us are one sip or hoot away from death. Just can not take life any more. Nor do they want to. Until they find inspiration around them. This is as real as I can explain this topic without throwing every tradition and principle I hold up, right out the window. Sorry team, I have to be discrete here. Watching these people going back out, after seeing how much work is in front of them, after we have made progress towards a great life, absolutely enrages me. Pisses me right off. I will tell you why, as best as I can. For people, like me, who have abused and used to hide the truth and run from people, places and things, there is a solution. There is a way to move forward in life and have and build a fantastic life. But it is exceptionally hard work. You will cry, laugh, feel complete anger and complete serenity. There will be more emotions and demons that come out and slap you in the mouth, then you know. But, at the end of this emotional roller-coaster, there will be no more secrets in your closet. No more skeletons and then, we can become useful members of society. Re-building lives and dreams. But honestly this time. There is more work than most people without an addiction like to look at. Especially if you come to the bottom level we are at. So much work, but so worth the journey. If you knew me before and after I walked that path, you would not know, I am the same individual. So, anyhow, I laid down the law if you might, yesterday, and he responded very well. I have to ensure he is ready to look at every demon in the eyes and punch it's lights out, or he will die. I explained to him, I do not screw about when it comes to sobriety. I will tell you, you are retarded after you do something retarded. I will re-enforce the positive he does. But, I do not hold back when it comes to this program I am in. It saved my life and almost three million others like me. So it works. Shove your ego and pride and take the time to look your maker in the eyes and explain yourself. I love this program. It has enabled me in more positive ways than I will ever know. Just gotta do the work!
So, yeah, more on my plate, but, I have been informed that working with others in the way that I am will be amazing for me and them. So, with blind faith and a desire to win, I will do what has been asked of me. Allrighty G-man. time to give away what I have, like it was given to me. Fantastic!
So, as for my kung fu. I had another good week. Some of my numbers suffered, but I have to get out of my head and into the greater good thought and realise, that right now, this fella needs my time and energy and I am more than willing to give it away so he can succeed. Unfortunately, in one sense, I will not be able to ride my bike anymore. My new friend needs my bike more than I do, so, for the greater good. I will put a goal on hold, so he can have a small bit of freedom. So, I guess all in all, I have had another great week, and I am very grateful for another great week.
So, I guess that is everything for now. Yup, I am going to go pound some mini donughts!!!
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan
My best day last week is a tie between Wednesday night with Sifu Tymchuck and Tuesday night with the kids class. Man, that was cool Tuesday night Sifu Playter with like two minutes before class is to start asks if I wanted warm-up. Honestly, that took me by surprise, but, of course, I jumped on the opportunity. And, me being me, I was stressed out. Did I do enough? was the warm-up good enough? Did I just make an arse of myself? I was assured I did well, and the whole process felt fantastic. So I will take a success marker there!! I had a lot of fun that night working with those kids. Another passion of mine. Being with children and helping them grow, if only for the one hour, is well worth the efforts. Wednesday night, working with Sifu Tymchuck, was just wicked. He gave me numerous opportunities to grow and learn. And, with Sifu demoing on me in front of everyone, really did help me learn what he was teaching. Now, I have done lots of arm bars in class, and I can do the very well, but, I needed to learn them again. I am glad I did because there was a move in the arm bar, that I never realised was there. Huh!?! Imagine that. I listened and learnt something new. Weird! Just like Sifu Ryback was explaining. Walk in ready to learn, admitting I know nothing about nothing and the results will be amazing. Hahaha. And the results were.
Something else truly magical, happened this week. See, on Thursday nights, I go hang out with a pretty close knit group of people. We get together weekly to share our experience, strength and hope with each other. To help those still suffering, and to remind ourselves of what is waiting for us, if we do not stay spiritually fit. So, one of the newer fellas is really struggling with accepting life on life's terms. He truly wants to grow and succeed. He just needs help getting there. So, everyone is getting ready to leave for the night, and this dude comes and asks me for help. Listen, he and I will be tearing his past apart, so he can rebuild for the future. Normally, I will not take on a responsibility like that. There are so many variables while going through this process. I have helped others before that, just start making progress with their lives, and then start to think I got this. I can do what I used to do with out reservation. They go back out and use and abuse worse than before. Well, unfortunately, a lot of people like that, will die on the streets, not kidding. I work with people whose lives are on the brink of suicide, ready to just quit on life. Some of us are one sip or hoot away from death. Just can not take life any more. Nor do they want to. Until they find inspiration around them. This is as real as I can explain this topic without throwing every tradition and principle I hold up, right out the window. Sorry team, I have to be discrete here. Watching these people going back out, after seeing how much work is in front of them, after we have made progress towards a great life, absolutely enrages me. Pisses me right off. I will tell you why, as best as I can. For people, like me, who have abused and used to hide the truth and run from people, places and things, there is a solution. There is a way to move forward in life and have and build a fantastic life. But it is exceptionally hard work. You will cry, laugh, feel complete anger and complete serenity. There will be more emotions and demons that come out and slap you in the mouth, then you know. But, at the end of this emotional roller-coaster, there will be no more secrets in your closet. No more skeletons and then, we can become useful members of society. Re-building lives and dreams. But honestly this time. There is more work than most people without an addiction like to look at. Especially if you come to the bottom level we are at. So much work, but so worth the journey. If you knew me before and after I walked that path, you would not know, I am the same individual. So, anyhow, I laid down the law if you might, yesterday, and he responded very well. I have to ensure he is ready to look at every demon in the eyes and punch it's lights out, or he will die. I explained to him, I do not screw about when it comes to sobriety. I will tell you, you are retarded after you do something retarded. I will re-enforce the positive he does. But, I do not hold back when it comes to this program I am in. It saved my life and almost three million others like me. So it works. Shove your ego and pride and take the time to look your maker in the eyes and explain yourself. I love this program. It has enabled me in more positive ways than I will ever know. Just gotta do the work!
So, yeah, more on my plate, but, I have been informed that working with others in the way that I am will be amazing for me and them. So, with blind faith and a desire to win, I will do what has been asked of me. Allrighty G-man. time to give away what I have, like it was given to me. Fantastic!
So, as for my kung fu. I had another good week. Some of my numbers suffered, but I have to get out of my head and into the greater good thought and realise, that right now, this fella needs my time and energy and I am more than willing to give it away so he can succeed. Unfortunately, in one sense, I will not be able to ride my bike anymore. My new friend needs my bike more than I do, so, for the greater good. I will put a goal on hold, so he can have a small bit of freedom. So, I guess all in all, I have had another great week, and I am very grateful for another great week.
So, I guess that is everything for now. Yup, I am going to go pound some mini donughts!!!
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan
Sunday, 5 July 2015
Sunday Sunday
Happy sunday to you. The wind has slowed down today so, I might get weeding of the garden done yet. Well, it was a fantastic week. Man big obstacles pushed out of the way. Like doing kung fu in public. Stressful, kind of, but its still the same form I do in my backyard! It is still nerve racking, but, like I say, I want to learn to work through the stressful times with out becoming overly emotional. Or better yet, I do not desire becoming emotionally attached to the situation. Realising the amount of control in the outcome of what others say or think. Remember, it is not my problem what others think of or about me. I am here for me and my teammates. And if I am trying my hardest, then, I do not much care what anyone thinks.
The Canada Day demo was really a good time. I think the demo turned out nicely. This is now, becoming a good habit. Hanging out with the team, with a whole bunch of like minded people, but yet all so different. Cool really to think about. My family was able to make it to the demo, which, is awesome. My boys, they just love the lion dance. Wyatt especially!! he just squeals and giggles. He is so neat to watch. Alex, I think, becomes mesmerized by the lion. I really do. Or else he just spaces right out. I did that too as a kid. My favorite part was doing a spinning jump attack off the mid rail on the bridge. I am not sure on how it looked, but I thought it was awesome. I wonder if I could jump from rail to rail?? OH holy, that would be....mind blowing! Yes, atomic explosion mind blowing! The crab soccer with that massive ball, was just straight up fun. Good, ol' fashioned fun!! Everyone's forms are coming along nicely. You guys have put a lot of work and time in and its just awesome.
The equestrian training was so cool. I learnt so much about silent communication. Not just how I perceive myself, but that energy, that feeling everyone emits. Loved it so much. I do want to say though, that my horse's legs on the left side, where shorter, then her right legs. She just kept going in circles. So, I should talk to Tony about that. Should fix that somehow!! No, it was a great lesson, in not just saying what I mean, but meaning what I say and do. With Molly (the horse I was teamed with) all of my thoughts and actions had to be very disciplined. My energies needed to be true and honest to just working with her as a team. It is to bad we could not have spent more time out there. Next time, maybe, hopefully. I really liked one of the quotes Tony had showen us. "Maybe its not you asking the wrong question, but asking the question wrong." I think that is it. Well that's how I know it, so forever it shall be.
Kung fu this week was, chaotic at best, but I did manage to get some pretty decent numbers up, so, another success. My wife and kids went to B.C. with the monster-in-law. So, I didn't get very far at home with out a butthead sticking to me. It is awesome though. I soak it in as mush as I can. Who knows, if they are like me, in a few years, I will have to get rid of them and get start over. I tell them that when they start being retarded around the house. hahaha. What? I think it hilarious. I continued to do meditation and chi cultivation this week about 4-5 hours worth, and I am awestruck at how quickly I can feel chi running through me. I have felt this energy numerouse times before. Doing some meditatitive works with profesionals, and at home, That energy has raced through my system before, looking for the monsters within. At that time, I used it for search and destroy missions in my spirit. Draw the demons out, look them in the eyes and ask, very politely (not my decision), what the front door is your problem man. That was fantastic. Solved a lot of issues and closed the door on a bunch of defects of character. After working with that fellow, I asked my kid if I could join kung fu. You see, I believe that so much of my past took up so much of my energy and time, that when I finally exited these demons, I had almost an empty shell. All this free space to work with, and I did not want to fill it with job stuff. I needed something else. kung fu fit in very nicely. About a year later, I had the opportunity to join I Ho Chaun. Amazing how everything is wound and inter-twined upon itself. What a place. Everything is connected in one way or another. Like one amazingly huge great spirit! I have worked a spinning kick into my form a few weeks ago, and my spinning kicks, suck. I learnt a lot of real good stuff from Sifu Playter at the boot camp. So, right back to the basics. Put the stick down and concentrate on the basics. Watch the foot work. Restart the process. I can do that, and progress is coming nicely. Man it is nice to be able to stay calm and cool. That's one of the best lessons thus far is just, breathing calmly. Just be cool.
Anyways, I am done rambling for now
Talk at you later
Mr.Duncan
The Canada Day demo was really a good time. I think the demo turned out nicely. This is now, becoming a good habit. Hanging out with the team, with a whole bunch of like minded people, but yet all so different. Cool really to think about. My family was able to make it to the demo, which, is awesome. My boys, they just love the lion dance. Wyatt especially!! he just squeals and giggles. He is so neat to watch. Alex, I think, becomes mesmerized by the lion. I really do. Or else he just spaces right out. I did that too as a kid. My favorite part was doing a spinning jump attack off the mid rail on the bridge. I am not sure on how it looked, but I thought it was awesome. I wonder if I could jump from rail to rail?? OH holy, that would be....mind blowing! Yes, atomic explosion mind blowing! The crab soccer with that massive ball, was just straight up fun. Good, ol' fashioned fun!! Everyone's forms are coming along nicely. You guys have put a lot of work and time in and its just awesome.
The equestrian training was so cool. I learnt so much about silent communication. Not just how I perceive myself, but that energy, that feeling everyone emits. Loved it so much. I do want to say though, that my horse's legs on the left side, where shorter, then her right legs. She just kept going in circles. So, I should talk to Tony about that. Should fix that somehow!! No, it was a great lesson, in not just saying what I mean, but meaning what I say and do. With Molly (the horse I was teamed with) all of my thoughts and actions had to be very disciplined. My energies needed to be true and honest to just working with her as a team. It is to bad we could not have spent more time out there. Next time, maybe, hopefully. I really liked one of the quotes Tony had showen us. "Maybe its not you asking the wrong question, but asking the question wrong." I think that is it. Well that's how I know it, so forever it shall be.
Kung fu this week was, chaotic at best, but I did manage to get some pretty decent numbers up, so, another success. My wife and kids went to B.C. with the monster-in-law. So, I didn't get very far at home with out a butthead sticking to me. It is awesome though. I soak it in as mush as I can. Who knows, if they are like me, in a few years, I will have to get rid of them and get start over. I tell them that when they start being retarded around the house. hahaha. What? I think it hilarious. I continued to do meditation and chi cultivation this week about 4-5 hours worth, and I am awestruck at how quickly I can feel chi running through me. I have felt this energy numerouse times before. Doing some meditatitive works with profesionals, and at home, That energy has raced through my system before, looking for the monsters within. At that time, I used it for search and destroy missions in my spirit. Draw the demons out, look them in the eyes and ask, very politely (not my decision), what the front door is your problem man. That was fantastic. Solved a lot of issues and closed the door on a bunch of defects of character. After working with that fellow, I asked my kid if I could join kung fu. You see, I believe that so much of my past took up so much of my energy and time, that when I finally exited these demons, I had almost an empty shell. All this free space to work with, and I did not want to fill it with job stuff. I needed something else. kung fu fit in very nicely. About a year later, I had the opportunity to join I Ho Chaun. Amazing how everything is wound and inter-twined upon itself. What a place. Everything is connected in one way or another. Like one amazingly huge great spirit! I have worked a spinning kick into my form a few weeks ago, and my spinning kicks, suck. I learnt a lot of real good stuff from Sifu Playter at the boot camp. So, right back to the basics. Put the stick down and concentrate on the basics. Watch the foot work. Restart the process. I can do that, and progress is coming nicely. Man it is nice to be able to stay calm and cool. That's one of the best lessons thus far is just, breathing calmly. Just be cool.
Anyways, I am done rambling for now
Talk at you later
Mr.Duncan
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