Whoa-ah hey there!

 Well howdy there partners!! I must apologize. I missed my blog last week! That’s two this year I’ve missed...anyhow how was everyone’s holidays? I really hope, no matter what you may celebrate, that you’re time with family was great, if you were able to visit family....Christmas 2020...what a show that was eh!?! 

Any which way, we had a good hollidays. My youngest son has a bday on the 27 of December. He was pretty down about it, because, well, no one was allowed to come. So I talked to my grandparents on the farm. Asked hey, can we come and play in the forests and such on the farm for his bday? Grandma to the rescue! Oh of course honey, just keep away from Gramps! No sweat. We spent the day searching the old homestead on the land, I guess because it’s delapetaded it haunted!! Hahaha. Kids are awesome!! He brought out his little daisy BB gun and was blasting at his targets! He’s not the avid shooter like myself, but his fascination with weapons is very....enthralling I suppose. We fired up the old fire pit and burnt some hotdogs and drank some root beers and Wyatt got to drive the side by side all by himself!! You should have seen his smile! He was so proud of himself. He’s trying to tell Gramps about him driving the unit, but grandpa is deaf and Wyatt speaks quietly, and we had our masks on, and the very distant social visit through the front screen door....grandma had to act as translator for them both!! Hahaha. Three languages she can speak. Old mumbling man, young kid fast talk and English!! Hahahaha. Impressive!! 

Any how onto the next step. The next huge transition. School. I start my classes Jan 4!! I’m super excited. So pumped. No more being covered in mud head to toe with the faint smell of nicotine and caffeine on my breath. Okay, let’s go! 

I have had lots of time to contemplate and figure my life out. My health is still lacking and worsening my throat death dart. My cousins are being ravaged my addictions. My mind kills when I think about not being able to change. So I feel my lesson outta what happened in my family is I have to take that next step first...not in competition. Not to say anyone is better than the others; just simply quite quietly being the one to take that step. It’s been pointed out that a lack of myself in and around the family is noticed and missed. When I sobered up, I honestly cut ALL forms of poison outta my life. As in I do not want you around me or my family if this is how you’re going to act! And I’ve stood firm on that. Some say I’ve missed out on family life and tried to place blame, I disagree I do what I need to do to keep me and my family alive! I do what I need to do to survive man. But overall, I don’t. I still smoke! I still carry old habits and obviously the believes that abusing myself is okay. It’s a financial and health burden that’s gonna hit. And like the dr says...sooner than I expect. 

This has been a crappy enough year and as much as next years gonna hurt, I will still come out on top. There’s a lot changing in me these next few weeks, big changes in the next few days. 

I have to get my goals finished. Life keeps throwing crap at me that stops me from getting my stuff done....or does it? Is it an excuse? Probably nothing  it is. 

So, I said to myself, man, if you want to do this inspector gig and you’re already pulling the plug on one life and pouring from a new life tap, then just finish the changes! I have bought my last pack of smokes yesterday. I simply can not buy anymore. It’s not fair to put my addiction on my wife to carry and pay for...holy adult thoughts...that’s not right. In order for me to succeed to have to quit for me, not them...addiction is simply up to the person! It messes with and affects all, but only the individual can make those changes! 

Besides these facts friends, it’s a whole new world I’m walking into. Why can’t I bring a whole new me to the frame? I have to learn new ways on how to communicate, I’m okay when I want to be, but, that’s not good enough anymore.

What I’m trying to say is me, as I stand here right now, is a beaut of a person, but I can be better. Show by example I say, so I will lead by example. I’m committed to working at my kitchen table until I get this done. By golly miss molly that’s what I’m going to get! 

I have a fairly good regime set up. Morning routines and academic routines and mr. mom built into my daily schedule. I haven’t forgotten about Kung fu, nor will I. It’s built into the mornings and afternoon breaks. I do plan on actually being apart of the school. Sure I’ll be in school, building my mind, failure to think of my physical well being will cause me to fall back into old habits, and my cousin just proved what happens with falling into old habits...it’s a lesson coldly served; ignore it and die or learn and grow. That’s it. That’s the lesson. Now, pick one and don’t look back. Could have just told me that Chase...I miss you cuz! 

So with that I’m going to go for now and get smartened up and learn stuff! 

Thanks for you’re time and I look forward to seeing everyone in class very soon!

Stay smart out there people. 

Mr.Duncan

Speechless, but so much to say

 Well, shucks....2020 just keeps on getting better. My young cousin, I just found out has passed away....His little girl is two Years old. She will never know her daddy. She will never get the lullabies, nor the warm baby hugs she will so very much desire. His wife, now a widow before 30. They won’t get to go on that vacation they always wanted to go on...their business, their dreams...it’s over...

I am left wondering why? For what reason did you do this cousin? So many questions...why man why? You’re kid dude? Did you not think of her? Or how maybe this family needed you? We were going to do great things this next year...we had plans....we were rebuilding our broken family....I guess in your memory cus...

All for what? A 22min high? After such time your chasing the dragon man! I’ve warned you! I’ve told you this will take your life  I’ve said my piece and our worst fears came true....

You were unable to kick the suicide of your oldest brother, I’m sorry you could not see through the darkness  I’m so god damn sorry, your light at the end of the tunnel was blurred by confusion and hatred. I’m sorry you stayed in the darkness until it consumed you so...I tried to lead a life worth following! I tried so hard to show a better way of life that didn’t involve destroying yourself. The examples we lead are meant for learning tools for our younger generations. Doesn’t matter anymore. No matter what Chase, no matter what, I’ve always loved you cousin. I loved you when I didn’t recognize you when you were found in the streets puking heroin up! I loved you when you couldn’t contain or control those demons and you disappeared on us...I loved you when you where broken desperate and just wanted a hug man! 

This breaks my heart...man alive Chase....

Mental health has taken another beautiful person.....it’s so hard when you’re so depressed that everything wants to get you and take you down...I get it cousin...I get it... I wish I didn’t understand, it’d be easier to stay ignorant, but, I know exactly where you where and I know exactly how terrible it is to come out of that hole, I was very very very lucky, I got out alive. I’m sorry you weren’t able to get out man.............I’m so sorry.....

I have no more words! I don’t know what else to say....I love you Chase! I miss you immensely cuz! Until that glorious day where we can meet again. I truly hope your suffering has ended, we will deal with the pain and suffering here. Take care knowing we will rebuild in your memory and continue to try our best! 

Bye for now cuzzzzz! 

Love you, 

Your cousin, you’re friend, you’re brother in arms, your supporter, you’re reality check, whatever hat I needed to wear with you, I wore it! Until we meet again.....

I will say this, and try not to take this the wrong way, I’m emotional and very very pissed off!! BUT, I swear to all that’s holy, if I catch just one person on this team falling down into hard drugs and you won’t ask for help, I’m going to rock you’re world. That’s not a threat either folks...that’s a Willy Duncan guarantee!  If you need help please for the love of god,  start asking for help! Please!! I’ve buried enough friends and family due to drugs and alcoholism...please just reach out to anyone...anyone...please...if you won’t do it for yourself, than look at your kids eyes and do it for them! If you don’t have kids, think of how your parents would enjoy burning a child!

P.S. Mr.pusher man! I know whom you are! I know where you live. I know when and where you peddle! You best hope, I do not catch up with you, my friend! We have already had the conversation. I’m beyond talking.......

 So hey there. I have been like really excited about changing directions in life and man I’m nervous. But, so far the most exciting thing I’ve found, is I get to really work on a part of my personality that’s lacked for a long time. People skills. I don’t have a lot of them and I’m going to have to learn how to build a clientele. Making small talk, meaningful, but small talk! I’m not a fan of it! 

So, in order for this new life to completely come together, not only do I have to learn a whole new part of construction, I, by default, get to work on my greatest character defect! 

Good gracious....hahaha. Yeah I had the same thought! I can’t go beating people until their moral improves. Not any more, I suppose! This isn’t the pipeline bro, this is actually the Alberta licensing office...let go of him Will. You need this guy alive!! Hahaha. 

No swearing I can’t throw stuff at my co-workers and laugh! If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!! You know or laugh when we fall down the mud stairs face first in the mud...wait a second... I’ll be the boss! Yes I can!! Phew! That’s a relief. 

It’s a relief knowing that soon, hopefully, with commitment and hard work, I can honestly be the boss I’ve always wanted to have. One who does care and one who isn’t going to turbo their employees first sign of management! Hot dawg folks. That’s exciting. I’m the management!!

Tick Tock

 Howdy folks! How’s it today? It’s good here. So, well, life has decided to curve ball me again! So that’s cool. At this point, whatever, bring it on!! 

 I had a job come up. This new boss gave me less than 24hrs notice to be on site, four hours away. After I pay, out of pocket, for site orientations and do that garbage online! So I did the math, after travel costs, hotels, food, all other my expensive to go to work for less than a week and come home to sit again I’d come home with 500$ if I eat the daily special at McDonald’s and 300$ if I eat like a human...well, I very politely declined this job. My temper flared up, when I read his hurry up and get here bs text! The thing I can not stand is, yes, I was asking for work, but, because of a lack of planning and communication does not constitute an emergency on my part....sorry, not my problem! 

 This is the garbage I no longer desire to deal with. I made sure to tell the owner how much I appreciate his efforts to try to get me some cash. He really didn’t need to even answer my text last month. And I consider, what he did to try to find work for me is above and beyond what a lot of people are doing right now. Solid cat! 

Honestly folks, I was dreading getting back into pipelines and construction. My stress and temper has really started to flare up. So what to do? The missus and I have a solid plan about moving forward. 

We had another solid conversation about going back to work! I expressed how much I’m sick of chasing the dollar bill and how I’m so sick of pouring absolutely everything I have into someone else’s dream and company. I’m so sick and tired of making a huge profit for someone else, breaking my body, sacrificing my family for some dude who writes my cheques? Does he even know my name?  

I told her, I am not doing that anymore! I won’t. I have no problem suffering and struggling for me and my family! But, I’m not doing it for some corporate pig anymore. So, we decided, that I’m going to school on Jan 4! Pulled the trigger people. I said to heck with this. I’m going to work for me from now on! 

That’s correct I start school on Jan 4! I’m starting with hone inspection certificate at nait. I will have a company within a calendar year and that’s the end of that! It could take up to 8 months to get this very, if I have troubles with the schooling! But, it’s gone inspections not a math major in university! That’s where I’ll start. And with that cert, I can very easily get into city and commercial inspections. And from there, I’ll get a beaut of a retirement gig! 

With my background, with my skills and places I’ve worked, this will be a fairly easy transition. I think the hardest thing will be the lack of physical demand in this field, good thing I have Kung fu eh folks!! Hahaha. 

I’m really excited team! I can not wait to be honest! I have a lot to learn and push for, but, I want this real badly. For the last, I do t know, but let’s call it 5 years, I have kept going back to the home inspection at nait. I would love to take astrophysics or some crazy cool stuff like that, but, I can not say that I’ll get there and be content ! I just don’t know about chilling in a desk or lab for the next how many years! So, that’s something I will entertain once I get myself established. 

I have been in touch with a buisness owner in this field and I’ve spoken to real estate agent in the area. There’s room for growth and from what I’ve heard, the real estate agent wouldn’t mind another inspector out here! More variety I was told, some other people are very content out here, content isn’t good, no sir, not when you have this mf’er coming tearing it up! Haha. Get out of my at old man! Time for a change of the guard and it’s now my turn. Soooooo, get out of my way buds!!

Anyhow folks, that’s pretty much all I’ve got. I’m moving forward with this plan. 

I’m scared, I’m nervous, I have to learn so much, how to run buisness networking, and all that other jazz! I’m pumped folks. Absolutely pumped. 

So, I have a few ideas for a company name. I personally like “Dunc’s Inspection Services”. “Big Willy’s Inspections. Or WAWA inspections! I don’t know I’ve got some time! A massive picture of me on the side of the truck in my wrestling gear?? So many options.....

Any ideas? 

Well, I should go and get going on stuff for the day! 

Thanks for listening

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan 

Just a good few days.

 Well, hey ya there. How’s everything today? Mine day is significantly better than days of last. I gotta pay attention though, I’ve been caught off guard and lazy and paid dearly for it, just recently! 

Anyhow, a fella looking for a few hands got in touch with me recently and wants to move forward with my employment. So, that’s looking up. It’s not right away, but it is procuring a positive start to 2021! 

I did have faith that the seemingly endless amount of resumes and re-writing of resumes and cover letters, and chasing down leads and phone numbers and text messages and emails....he doesn’t even want to see my resume! “If Mark says your solid, then you’re solid man!! I’ll be in touch. Around the 10th. It’s the best I can do to get you some cash for Xmas. Hopefully work into the spring as well.”  My reputation has stood forth and he’s talked to that guy about me. Mark’s one of the foreman that fought for me to be on his crew! I knew that my efforts and reputation would mean something.

I gosh darn well knew it friends! Gotta start over with these guys and that’s just fine. Smaller company. I like smaller crews. Anything over 20 is just too much for me to enjoy! 

But, what about re-education and personal investments? I know, I know. That’s coming too. I have an incredible 2021 plan on paper thus far. We have a plan set up! There’s a few massive changes that my wife and I have “planned” for! A few either massive changes to her career or possibly no changes at all! It’s one of those, we HAVE to be patient and see how the cards pan out for her. Either way, for her, she will gather success in her field. On me though, is I need to be the support person! So one plan, is she is asked/given a presidency position for a few months, until elections in the fall! That drastically changes the financial situation, but her “free time” she will loose! The nature of the beast. If that’s the case, I have to stay close to home. 

The other scenario is, she doesn’t get given the seat and nothing changes for her right now, therefore I can work wherever I am able to build bank again. 

The final big scenario is, she waits until fall for the seat to open, runs and wins! Which between you and me, she has the seat by a large margin as of now! Then in the fall, the massive changes would take place! 

We aren’t greedy people! I would love to have like big old trucks and side by sides and boats and planes and stuff! Sure that’s be cool! But, we don’t need nor do we want those things! We, the family, want to be happy and joyous! That’s it! I want to be able to feed and provide, but I don’t want the mansion. I’d rather have a log cabin and buy land and honestly set up my own sanctuary. That’s my retirement gig folks to be very honest. Listen, I’d love to have like a quarter section and yeah, fence it up! To try to keep the humans out.

If you set yourself up, you honestly only need ten acres and you can raise and feed he family on it! It’s more ingenuity than anything else. You can grow certain foods all year around, just gotta set up for it. Really not overly hard, just a lot of prep work and paying attention to details. 

One day! The dream is there! 

Well, kept going with Kung fu these last few days. Not the best outing, but outings none the less. I do find that, I don’t want half ass the few forms I do do. So, I work at being calculated and things are proper. Basic training again. That’s chill. But that can not be the underlying motivation to next year! It was okay to get me okayishly motivated. I need to properly engage and be there. Ask the questions and yup go to class! I don’t have to wait until next year either....so there’s that massive tidbit for me to chew on. It is what I need is more Kung fu in my life. Go ahead and just do Kung fu! 

.......Being nicer to myself...... Yuppers! I need to do some serious work here friends! Hahahahaaaaaaa. 

So, well, I suppose for now, I guess I’ll let you go than! 

Okay thanks for your time!

Mr.Duncan

See you! Bye bye! 

There is no more else

You’ve hit the end

Press the go back button

Okay! See you soon! 

....🤷‍♂️....

 Hey there! Boy that sun is bright today! Feels good man. I’ve spent some time just being in the sun today. Out with my dog and such. It feels good to just be here. 

I’m really enjoying the sun. Gonna go and fire off my wee rifle today. I got ‘er straightened out now! Had a reload and accuracy issues. Reloading is simple enough. Just can be lengthy. Gotta find the bullet that works with the rifle. Every gun is peculiar about what it’ll eat. Some don’t care and eat anything you feed it. Not mine. That’s cool. The accuracy is simple enough. It’s practice and finding that sweet spot. I changed out three different front site! This one is nice. Not awkward at all anymore. My last outing I changed my grip and stance up a bit whamo big difference. Jumped from 30-50% to hitting 85-90% of the time in hitting a four inch target at 35 yards!! That’s money! Finally! Now I can move on to longer range!! That’s not my freezer filler, oh god no. I’m at like 95 all day. Laziness costs me that last bit..

Any how. Ive been really putting up a fight with wanting to push to exercise and actually really train hard. This weekend I found the heavy bag again and starting practicing parts of Da Mu Hsing again. I just kinda stood there with my punching bag, at first, like seeing an old friend for thee first time in a decade. It’s hard to smile lately but... I was smiling. Kung fu has always been a beaut! A solid help to escape reality and focus on me, for what ever reason I always put myself last. I literally got lost in my mind and I had convinced myself that it wasn’t worth the time and blah blah. I hate how I twist up like that. And like the thing is, is Ive worked hard to figure myself out and trained my mind to work with my heart and what the happened? What have I neglected?  

It’s like I get so far and I start doing better than I think I deserve and some how always manage to screw things up. Like how did I manage this disaster now? Oh man...

But you know what? Imma tell you, a teammate reached out with some work prospects like hey what about this? Seems cool! Thanks that was a solid lift! 

I’m glad you reached out Sifu Lindstrom. Thank you! 

Small gestures like a simple hey check this out, it can mean a lot, especially since I only get no thanks response emails. I said to myself see people do care. 

Any which other way, I don’t know much else from here peeps, I’m excited an new year is starting soon... The day it’s like a solid finish line in a year of nightmares. Eh?!? Good gracious... And I’ve had it not that bad. It sucked, but I come out alive and still with a great family. So it wasn’t that bad. Could have been worse I do suppose. Perspective kinda sucked at times, but I’m getting there! Ha. Thankfully it was what I could take, and I’ll get through! I got faith man! No bad days; only bad moments. Ask faithfully where am I? What am I doing? Act with faith! It’s gonna be okay! 

Anyhow, goals I have to get together. This year back I knew was gonna be a bit of a rough time getting things flowing and working together again. So the numbers and results I put up where actually pretty poor. And I’ll own that. Didn’t follow through on much when it came to what I said I was gonna do. I nailed the blogging! Only missed one, so...Almost nailed it... All outside events aside I didn’t produce so, I think I want to o build a goal around just staying consistent...oh wait those are already there... well...”would ya look at that? Just gotta stop and just look at it sometimes! Look at that!!” 

This IHC has been laid out and put on paper as a known result producer. Simply comes down to personal application. I gotta stop burning myself at the stake and be nicer to me  I should start by training...what is this rocket clock building? No it’s Kung fu and it means so much, so stop ignoring it! 

Well, guess it’s that time again. Nothing left besides actions...

Talk at ya later folks. 

Mr.Duncan 

Pew pew days!!

Well, here we go! Hanging in there. These last bits been a struggle. I mean, I’m no different than the majority of people out there, I’m just grateful to have had such a good paying job for as long as I did! 

I’m assured this can’t last for ever, but with the way things are looking, yeah, this is going to last for at least another year and the regulations put in place, you might as well as thrown spagetti at a wall and called it safe measures for the public. What an absolute embarrassment out of our premier. Just.....you didn’t listen to the dr’s you don’t listen to your own advisors, you’re useless and you should be ripped out of office and held accountable in a public square....tar, feathers and rocks. It’s been too long since we as a society have actually held these politicians accountable. 

Things would change if we did....I’ll lite the fuse friends! I’ll stand front and center! I have to stop here! I can’t handle the crap anymore....

So, instead of going insane, I’ve called to talk to Gramps and see if he needs any help! No answer! Tried the home phone, no answer...umm, honey, I gotta go check on Gramps! He’s not answering his phone! I have to go like right now! Oh thankfully, Gramps is okay, he’s deaf and his tv was on at darn near full blast! Whew!!! Oh and grandma is working from home...oh goodness you scared me Gramps! Haha. He took a small tumble and he’s kinda buggered up. He will not go to the hospital, I’m fine. I’m just fine. I fell I didn’t die for Christ sakes...okay Gramps. You’re spot on old man!! He’s a tough old bugger. Grew up a cowboy, worked iron for 30ish years, and I mean he’s my grandpa. Toughest, sweetest best person I have ever known. Huge expectations! Tough growing up under him, big boots to fill, but, I try hard to make him proud of me! He’s hired some guy to do a bunch of work on the farm and I suggested I’ll do that for ya Gramps! You paid that guy for that? Shoot Gramps, just call! Only payment I’ll ask for is to be able to go shooting when I would like to! Farms cleaned up for the season. Just go shooting will!! You’ve earned you’re place out here! A small compliment from Gramps is not something you normally get, let alone a conversation! Ha, I’d sit in the tractor with Gramps for hours and we wouldn’t say too much. I’d go out for coffees and it’s quiet. No need! Only fools carry on Will! Only speak when you have too, that way people have to listen! Don’t speak or say more than what you have to say! To the point and leave it! 

Follow me...I grew up hanging out on the farm. My grandparents farm has always been my escape. When things where bad at home, I’d try to get out to the farm. When I was alone fighting the world, I go to the farm. Whenever I needed an escape the farm was always there for me. I have spent so much time on the farm, working cattle, fixing fences, corralling cattle, chasing bulls, clearing out coyotes, picking rocks, or just playing with my cap guns out in the field! “Grandma, there was an army of bad guys coming to get us, but I took cover by the grain bins and got them all grandma! No more bad guys here!” Grandma would just smile and ask about what happened and how did I get all those soldiers! Grandma, I’m a ninja. They can’t get me. I have my trusty 6-shooters. None of them can out draw me!! I had two metal six-shooter cap guns! Had my own cowboy hat and Grandma had a leather smith build a belt, holsters and chaps for me to go play with and honestly, I always had them on! In the tractor, fixing fences, I had those “pistols” with us and I protected everyone! Haha  oh to be 25 again...oh I mean 5 years old....

 There is a spot of a forest out there, in particular, sitting right in the rivers edge. There’s a very old home from around 50-70 years ago. Hard to tell! Nobody really knows for certain. Mother Nature has taken the house and yard back, but, as a child and still today, I like to just go and sit down there. No noise, no guns, that all stays up on top of the hill. Just be by myself. Be lost in my thoughts and mind! No matter how shitty my situation at home, no matter how bad the ass kicking I got, I always found peace out there, on that tree stump, next to the delapetated home of folks of the past! Just sit and be! Still today, if you know what to look for, you can sometimes find momentous from how many years ago!  It many, I’ve cleaned most of it up. The woodpecker out there, I don’t know if it’s the same one, but, every single time I go there old woody the woodpecker pounds me a song! I never forget to thank him! He’s my boy! Or girl! Whatever, it’s my bud! 

Anyhow I was off on a different planet. Loaded up my arsenal and took off to the shooters corner. And I’m walking and walking. I’m focusing on my steps, focus on nature! Focus on where I am and what I’m doing! I loose focus on the insanity around me. I literally open the first cattle gate to pass through and it’s like there’s a wall there. An invisible wall that blocks all the bullshit. After here, you can no longer hear the noise of people or tractors or chainsaws! It’s so quiet. My first hundred yards of walking is where the cattle hang for the winter! Hey cows! I stop and take a gander. Not many left! Gramps is too old. They stare at me and I stare at them! And so I carry on south east. It’s open field that ties into the beginnings of a forest and pasture to the south! I used to play in there, in that forest. It’s grown much since my childhood. Fond memeries of chasing bad guys and setting up forts! I stopped yesterday and just looked and reminisced about the past. And i carry on, almost there, kind of. We walk down into a bit of a valley, or we can jump the fence and zig-zag. Watch the old barbed wire fence, I guess that wasn’t needed to get cleaned up...spring time I suppose! That’s a lot of barbed wire!! Gonna need a truck and reels and better gloves! Almost. We have crossed the last fence line. The final couple hundred yards! No we walk out if this small valley and up on top of a small hill! There’s another larger hill directly north of me! I walk to the top of that hill, pull out the binoculars and do the triple check for humans hanging around. Found a deee carcass...looks like coyotes got her. And they are still close by! Hmm looks fresh, tracks are still fresh, as in the snow hasn’t crusted yet, telling me, this was less than 24hrs old! Leave it be, that’s for the coyotes! I’ll go back for some of the bones in the spring time. Mother Nature at her most raw moments. Understand the life cycle and how the food chain works, outside of humans! 

And so, I continue back to my shooting position to get set up! Down the hill into a small valley, with dense trees surrounding me! You can not see me from anywhere on the land except for on the hill to the north and immediately besides me! My shell from the world! I don’t just smash rounds through any of my guns, no matter how tempting it is to just spew rounds down range! Nope, I spent good money on these rounds and it’s going to count! My friend does reloading and I spend $1.50 a round from him! They are well worth it! But my other rifle costs ten cents to shoot, but still, I take my time. And my new gun is around 75 cents a round. Every shot counts folks! Yes, I do enjoy loading up the 22 and dumping that mag in like 30sexonds, but, it’s not the easiest on the gun. Especially in below zero temps! The guns cool and heat up so fast, you have to be careful, the heat distortion and moisture build up can wreck your gun! But, just below zero is a great temp to shoot at. Truly is! Just be cautious. 

In any event, yesterday, I’ve got my phone playing music quietly, ear plugs in, can only hear my thoughts and the soft hum of a familiar tune! ! I have no one around, no one is bugging me, I have terrible reception. Perfect! Even my missus is like, are you going shooting? Can you? Please? You always come home so much calmer and happier. It’s okay Will, go shooting! I’m there for a few hours plugging away. Shooting, making notes, shooting, inspecting, checking targets, making more notes, and double checking ammo selections, watching my groups, making stance adjustments and so on! Breaking down and rebuilding my firearms in the field! Looking for any kind of distortion! What’s working nicely in these conditions and what’s being stubborn. Stupid Winchester rounds, be better! Not one thing on my mind outside of accuracy and guns!! Love it!! 

Suns going down and winds picking up! Temps dropped about 5 degrees in as many minuets. Time to head back! Not one piece of garbage, it drives me nuts when I see garbage on the farm, I literally get instantly pissed when there’s trash out there! I’m walking out of where I have spent my day and sifu text comes through! Oh well that’s really cool! Checking in and seeing how a fella is! Solid! It honestly was a perfect ending to a perfect day! Made me feel good! I mean, I was feeling very good about shooting and just stress free, and then Big Bossman Brinker is texting to see how I am! Really made my day. Thanks I appreciate the reach out. 

I wish I could say how great and amazing I am doing! But lets be honest, I’m here and one foot in front of the other. Insomnia...check, lack of appetite...check! Perfect, going just how I planned! This too will pass, and with faith and time we as a society just might be able to get out of this in one piece...let’s just stick together, do what’s right for the greater good and you know what, we will pick up the pieces and rebuild, like humans have done for thousands of years. We have to stick together as a collective and take care of each other. 

I’m all done caring about feelings and emotions. Be part of the solution or honestly get out of the way. I don’t give a crap about your ability to go buy pointless plastic and rubber shit that you won’t use in a months time...We need to move on and the stupid mask/race division is embarrassing. Just wear it and quite being disrespecting your fellow humans!  I have view points about a certain generation leaving before we can honestly start moving forward! Be a member of society. Stand up for the weak and vulnerable. Help each other and by god, if you’re going to run off at the mouth, at least have the gumption to have a respectful conversation either way of your stance. Use facts and proper English or just keep quiet! Back to grandpas words of wisdom. Keyboard warriors, need to get tarred and feathered with some of these politicians.......

Anyhow, I feel I’ve rambled on long enough. 

Thanks for your time folks! 

Hopefully I’ll see you soon. 

Mr.Duncan. 

Staying Alive

 Good day. So I’m writing this blog. I have two others written, but, I’m writing another. I really don’t know what to say or do anymore. 

I said to heck with everything and I’ve been in contact with nait. I’d like to re-educate myself, but, in what and where I don’t know. I know going back to school at my age can be done. I see it all the time. Made some calls got some more directions with nait! This adult thing sucks man. Got solid numbers for actual life costs abouff if going to school...Whew! Overwhelming, but it’s okay. I see the mountain for what it is now, not what I thought it was!   

Honestly though. I don’t know what I’d like to do. I’m past my prime for what I really felt my calling was and that’s okay. I would have made a hell of a cage fighter, boxer, pro wrestler. I’m not getting my brains rattled at this age. I have enough things loose up there. Time to let go! 

So, I’ve played with power engineering and a couple of classes like that. I’m starting to understand you need to try to find a job in this field before, would be best. It’s more if an apprenticeship I guess? This field can be broken into how I’m going about it, I think it’s the much harder way. I am not known for doing things the easy way! Haha. I’m waiting for further conversation for the ABSA before I invest too much else in this specifically  

(Insert crappy late night telemarketing music)

Do you need heavy stuff picked up moved over there and put down? Do you need someone who can live on caffeine and nicotine, understands old man slang, is hip with young kid mumble and all sorts of in between. Do you need a guy who likes digging out trenches by hand because, heck, can’t let the backhoe have all the fun!! Do you need someone to climb this skinny colum 60ft up, hold on with his teeth and then just hang out while you swing more hunks of steel at his face and he asks for more please sir? Do you have a neighbor that causes you headaches, migraines or other pain in the ass symptoms and just need them to stop? Than look no further I’m your man! Just call 1-800-NO-SWEAT and prepare to have your dreams come true! For all you discouraging barking dogs, convincing loud neighbours to stop, re-educating the persons who owe you money or simply installing pipelines from your friends well to yours! I can do it! That’s 1-800-NO-SWEAT. 

Prepare for the everyone’s favourite part!! All this and more for four simple easy payments of 49.99 daily! I take all payments plus more!! What’s better no taxes! We don’t talk about 1-800-NO-SWEAT outside of this!! 

Don’t delay call today 1-800-NO-SWEAT  

Haha!! Ahhh gotta be able to laugh at ourselves! 

I have never really invested in me. And well, I should have. I truly didn’t think I needed to outside of working like a demons do adapting physically when needed to. It’s okay. The writing is on the wall, time to change time to adapt. This one, it’s gonna be a huge shift. Anyways I’m not absolutely  sure what I want to study but I do have to refresh up. Thankfully nait has some free online classes, with more that I can study and review. Ha! Awesome. More fractions. And I did learn I don’t like nouns!! 

Okay. I have a small confession. Secretly, I’ve always liked math. I mean. Like like math! Yeah I secretly like math that much! I wish I could write out and under stand or strive to some of the equations these math guys use! I wish I had the knowledge to write these formulas out and look for improvement like scientists do! I’d like to be able to take each part of , for instance theory of relativity and be able explain it to someone. Or the physics behind Hawkins radiation. That stuff is super cool man. Nothing can exit a black hole, except for the surplus of addition energy that’s exchanged for gamma radiation? What? Theoretical physics is a really cool place! String theories and molecular manipulation and what exists as we see it, doesn’t quite exist as we see it! Multiple universes! Oh the possibilities for our societies and progress! The tech we have in space was proven on earth! We may not get to play with it all, but the mathematics are there! The blueprints to everything in the universe is written somehow in our mathematics. And that has always blown me away! The way is in the math! Be able to have an understanding of physics and mathematics where I can just visualize things like that. I know it’s far cry from what and who I am! Haha! 

Who knows where I can go from here...

Well that was drawn out eh!! No matter thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan 

 Anyhow. This year much like for many many others has been horrible. I am no lone soldier in this one folks. Pandemic, no pandemic like what the happened. 

I cannot put into word this year. I was back in contact with my daughter. Oh man. What a feeling. I was on cloud nine. So badly I wanted to be dad and get to know her and hang out and such. She started with great interest, mind you, she’s a 16 kid that’s probably really confused. Growing up with no dad he’s never around. He never wanted you. And to find out your dad is not only missing you like crazy, that he wants you in his life. He never wanted you to leave and court orders and lies and deceit kept him away. Doesn’t know what to think. I’ll let her reach to me I suppose. She won’t return calls and texts. I’ll wait some more...

My new career, boy friends I was killing it. I had earned more than respect from my crew members. I have had inspectors and engineers write recommendations and write character letters for me and they sent them directly to the big bosses. Inspectors would walk past my foreman and talk to me. I would politely direct them to the boss and they looked confused that I wasn’t running the crew. No sweat I’d say. Give me time. I had not only gone outta my way to meet people build relationships outside of work, I had honestly started shifting my life towards this career. My wife and I had made plans that give me time to establish myself here and we potentially will move here. Found some land. Was more than willing to grow and take over this company.  I worked my way to the top of the boys and was going to take bigger steps. I had worked lined up until Xmas with steady income into next summer...the boss looked dead in my eyes and said you will not have to worry  you will be okay! Wow that’s great to hear! And I worked harder! I meant it when I said I was working so hard I would puke up parts of my lunches! I meant it when I said I was the guy who no problem would put in 12-14hr days and only get paid for 11! That’s what you do when you want what I had! You earn it! 

And, unfortuanatly, my gosh darned family decided she needed free money from the hand that feeds us and we, my brother and I both lost our careers over someone else taking money. Then when I question said person it’s my fault. I’m the asshole for her putting stolen money that I didn’t know about on my cheques, when I very clearly stated to her, I can not loose this gig! Stop doing that please, I do not want to leave! These guys treat me like gold, do not do this to me....low and behold...I was treated like the criminal and got fired, and this other person managed to save her career, by throwing me and my brother under the bus....

So now what? I ask this question over and over. I’ve honestly lost a lot of desire. I’m having a hard time training because, I do not see the light. The purposeful driven reasoning I have carried, I don’t see the value in it anymore. I won’t be competing in tournaments, I don’t fight in the streets anymore! I’m so extremely depressed, I just don’t care. Let’s as a society just get to this revolution already. It’s time we as a group of citizens start fighting back. 

I can’t handle this pandemic bullshit anymore. I think this is embarrassing and ridiculous. We have managed to crippled how many people across the world for an advanced flu. A flu that is targeting an aging population and truly only disrupting 1-3% of a population. Yeah let’s cripple the world for some old people that are, let’s be honest, going to pass within the next few months maybe years if they are lucky. Don’t you care about the older people? I do! I also recognize the fact that everyone dies! Not always do we get to go how we want! No, you think I’m wrong? Ask the pipelined who just got crushed on site who had four little kids, the car accident victim that got smoked by a drunk driver cut outta their prime...but lets cripple the entire world for a bunch of people who quiet honestly are burdens on society and holding the rest of us back from moving on in these times. 

I am really sick of these fn boomers who had every single support network, had a booming world from rebuilding after the world wars, have purposely driven up the prices with greed and capitalism and then, when their system fails that I have been forced into, it’s my fault....duck iffboomer and get Covid and let the rest of us change and move on! Racism is honestly an old person thought and if we could rid of the majority of these bigots their voices will eventually disappear and we can quite fighting over a skin pigmentation! I don’t understand why we still treat others like half rate citizens? It blows me away! And I have gotten into near fist fights telling people to shove their ignorant views! I’m done listening to bullshit! Gonna start putting people to sleep! 

That’s another thing  whatever happened to a simple punch in the lips for running off when you should be listening or not talking! Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean anyone cares about it! Mine included  I understand! But if gotta listen to how terrible of a person I am, because its simply treason you adulterated our Canadian flag with rainbows, that’s flat out wrong! You want a pride flag awesome, stop disrespecting every god damn person that has died in a war or fought for our freedoms. That’s entitlement at it’s finest. 

You know something, I’ve said this how many times, but, it’s extremely audacious and ignorant of us, as a species, to feel so entitled that we think we deserve to be on this planet for ever....listen. How many mass species die offs have happens on this planet? Here we are, crying because our time is running out? Have some pride and act like a respectable human. It’s called evolution. We have hidden behind science and doctors with our illnesses for how many decades. Yes science and medicine has greatly advanced our life expectancy! Sure has, but with all the medicines and over medications, we are creating super bugs. Covid is not a super bug. Never has been. The actual pandemic that’s coming from this “pandemic” is going to gut us as a society. You don’t honestly sit there and think that we will be here forever do you? Yes every life is valuable, but, since we listen to Mother Nature so much, pay attention to what she is saying. We have over-populated and destroyed this planet. Mother Nature has found a way to be done with the old and weak. And her we are screaming at each other over a piece of cloth, that statiscally shown have shown it doesn’t work like everyone thought. If masks where so important and useful, why, oh why are they a thing now? Seems a little weak at this point. People dropping in the streets, like they tried to scare us with in the spring...what’s our rates and numbers? Not even close. 

Principle before Personalities

 Principles before personalities. I think today was a day of growth. See, okay after how long I’ve finally gotten closure on this. I took that lay-off that really curve balled me. It broke my spirit. Slapped me hard. It wasn’t the lay-off it was why. Family members working in the money department taking what isn’t theirs. I was guilt by association and that sent me into a fury. And I didn’t even get a chance to say anything. Just over the phone your done here...

So, anyhow, I have asked the questions to my family and sorted out that disaster. Believe me, chill convo yo through the roof in about two seconds. I honestly needed to know how much money my career was worth to family ...Awesome...

 Now I needed to get closure on my career going bye bye. I made the calls to my old bosses. I answered the questions and honestly owend every second of all my wrongdoings. I took ownership and just explained myself and my actions. It’s not that I’m overly keen on going back, it is plain and simply my name my reputation, every drop of sweat I poured, was in an instant drug through the mud by someone else, and that’s not okay with me. I could not stand that on my name. 

My life motto is simply you only got two things in this world that matter Your name and your word! What you stand for and what you say! And one ain’t spit without the other  

So, as you may tell, I needed to and so I cleared my side of the street up today as humbly as I could. 

And so the lesson lives true. 

Don’t work with family

Mr.Duncan 

Caffeine and too much of it!

 Hola! It’s been a while yeah! Well, really let’s get at it. I honestly don’t have a lot to report to be honest. I’ve hit the heavy bag and do a couple of for. Reps and that’s around it for now. I ride the bike a lot still and still do a lot with my dog considering the weather.

I’ve managed to stay stuck upstairs. I’m really not sure what to do next. Ha. I’m not working. I’m scared to spend cash on schooling. I mean there are classes I’d like to do. That’s be cool. Just don’t know. It’s okay. Things are still well for me. 

I’ve taken some steps forwards in a few areas of life and I’m talking to people again. I went silent for a few weeks, haven’t much talked to many. Don’t mind it most times. I reached out to an old friend I haven’t seen in a few years. This fella. He has always been a solid sounding board for me. He was crucial in my early sobriety. I honestly owe a large part of my sobriety to him. He was the guy whom legit refused to approach or talk to me, because you just didn’t know...ha. His words not mine! Ha. He’s not wrong. 

I guess I’ll mention I gut my arse handed to me in smoking there. Man I had some...days... I got so sick and the shakes just spinning and spinning, I just wanted to think...but it’s cool! Learning curve. Another guy I know he’s doing the nic-spray...says it helps.

I mean this year for all has been rough for all. Today, I’m staying grateful for the family I have with me today. I have been a good person this last while, just I’m lost. There’s so much I want to do. I do much I know I can accomplish. I just don’t know where to start!! 

I know it sounds a little down, this blog, but I’m really not. Doing okay. Enjoying time with the family know while I can. Anyhow, I’m going to go stare at a ceiling and hopefully I sleep! It’s amazing on how little of sleep a person can “function” on. Here’s to another great week everyone!

Thanks for your time 

Mr.Duncan

It’s still not sunday

 Hey guys. Straight to the point. Smoking is going rough. I haven’t had a full 24 hrs yet. The first one in the morning and the last smoke of the day are the two just kicking the tar into me. Haha. See what I did there. Those are the smokes I really really want! As gross as this is I really crave this stick of tar and stuff...mmm yummy! The plan is supposed to be no smokes at all...nailed it...in the wrong spot, upside down oh and a touch of backwards! Just terrible at life some times! 

It’s okay. Today’s a good day. My desire to quit is still extremely high and it’s getting harder and harder to light the smokes. It’s just first thing and right before bed! I just twitch and sweat and toss, but if I have even a puff, I go to sleep, with defeat in my thoughts. I’m not overly sure what had happened, but, maybe I wasn’t as committed as I hoped I was!! Full of fear still!?! Honestly, I had these massively high hopes of saying “hey team, I’m smoke free for a week...” I’m close I’m so close! 

There were a few days where I was so confused, just straight frustrated. Woke up in weird moods. I kinda just paced around the house. I will not speak, just so negative and mean spirited. In the plan when the urge to smoke hits, I either jump on the bike, play with dog, terrorize my neighborhood or smash some water. Works well, but, I mean, it’s probably the 25 years of experience I have in smoking that keeps slowing me down and finding excuses as to why this is hard!! These nasty little routines that you don’t realize until bam, oh that’s a trigger as well! Huh!?  Where did this come from? Okay. Keep an eye on that! I think it was Wednesday, I was so confused and had this massive headache, I just had no idea what was happening! Spins and lightheaded ness and feeling nauseous, I was so angry I felt like crying and screaming in the same sentence. I got on the bike and just kinda sat there? What’s the point? It was extremely stressful. Couldn’t calm down went into a minor panic attack mode, sentences where incoherent, thoughts where sporadic....good gracious it was terrible! Thursday I felt like someone ran me over with a lawnmower...I’ve felt okayish ever since....I think maybe I flawed my plan a bit when I got the operations done and decided to quit in the same week! That ability to not go move and do stuff I feel was maybe not the beat idea! Aaarrrrgggggg as the pirates say! 

This week will be better! It’s gonna be okay! This is learning and growing. Pull the pin man! I keep going into panic mode and my heartbeat jumps and my breathing shallows and I just get stuck in thought! Cold sweaty fear filled moments in time, how you stress me! If stress was a person, yes you know what I’m gonna say! Breath man breath! 

Anyhow...I wish I had more great news to report and talk about, but, I guess I needed to crap the bed last week. I do not know. I did just celebrate my birthday! That was cool! We went and checked out some live wrestling on Saturday night...boy is that ever different now....50 people max and a very small center! Don’t care I’m out of the house watching live wrestling!! Only way it could be better is if I was in the matches! Honestly I had more fun with the smaller setup. I’d go again! Of course I would it’s live wrestling!! Vampiro, my main wrestler from years past was supposed to be at this event, but, travel restrictions and Covid had changed those plans! In fact the entire show wasn’t established until like a week before and the card still changed! Three matches were dropped last minute! You gotta give it to these small guys doing everything they can to try to survive! Everyone was masked up and respectful of personal space!!  We, as a family, had an absolute blast and my youngest boy is a great heckler! Natural talent! Don’t know where he gets it from!! You should have heard him! Talking trash to all the wrestlers! He had every single wrestler interact with him in one way or another and his smile was so big!!! I was so proud of him! We did have a quick chat about keeping the trash talking clean...do it, it’s part of the show, keep it clean though! I’ve honestly been in fan chants “say your sorry” at other fans! Don’t be rude! 

Even when you talk trash to wrestlers, they still are just playing a part! Personally, I’m not one to take digs at your body, but your getup? An obvious size difference? That’s fair game! You’re swagger your accent the way you stand it all means something and it’s all fair game! Remember though, the wrestler give back!! 

I’ve had a few good word battles with managers and wrestlers alike! You have too! It’s part of the show! One night, we should go! There are weekly shows in Edmonton, put on by small local clubs! Just let me know! 

One of the best bdays ever! Front row seating, there where only two rows... Couldn’t really go and meet and greet these people, but, I still got to hang out and chat with some really seasoned veterans I’ve never really heard about! And the one fella was from Calgary! I did feel kinda bad about not knowing him, like at all, but I’m sure he’s fine! There is some wrestling I don’t watch and he was on one of those shows. Can’t watch it all. I damn near do though!! It was a very different experience and I still loved it! Masks and all I don’t care let me just have some fun!!!

Anyhow, I’m going to go back to my withdrawals and ride my bike! Hopefully I don’t feel like crawling outta my skin all day again   

Okay bye for now!

Mr.Duncan

Today is a new start.

 Hey there. Yeah another blog is almost as many days. I gotta stick to the plan. I blog Sunday’s, not the other days. It’s the little things in the next few weeks that will make the difference.  

 I have today left in my days of smoking. Yes TODAY is the last day. I originally wanted to wait until my bday, but this plan is working great. Start the work week off strong and smoke free. I really haven’t been smoking a lot and I feel confident about this decision. Man do I hate smoking! This taste. This smell. Stupid little sticks of death. Seriously, if a cigarette was a person I’d Hulk-smash their face into a wall... Amazing how something I can literally crush into nothing in my hand, I’ve given so much of my life to. An infant can do that. But yet, I allowed it to have control over me. I let the cigarettes decide my health and future. From today on, No dwelling just stepping!

To be honest I was at my folks the other day and my dad is a life time smoker, listening to him gasp and weeze and not able to finish his sentences without taking a gulp of air...oh good...look at what I get to look forward to...crying in the rain. I have very consciously looked at the disgusting side of smoking. I’ve forced myself to contemplate what will happen to me. Real conversations with myself. Is this what I want in life? Is this my legacy? Is this what I want for myself? I’ve already proved I can’t hit the requirements in Kung fu as a smoker....

Oh fire engines no! My past will not define my destiny. I will not be taken down by this. Maybe the long terms effects, but, not today! I’ll fight like heck to get through this. And truly, from everyone I’ve talked with that has quit, it’s simply a decision. A real good friend of mine is like, “dude, make a decision and run with it. Make up your mind. Decide, Will, if this is how you want to die...”

No it’s not! I’ve punched my way outta much worse situations! I’ve gotten away from the heavy drugs, I’ve curb stomped booze, this is the last fight. Friends I’m in the ring with a 19 year old Mike Tyson, he’s busting my ribs, can’t breath, getting dark but guess what? Hold up change up I’m not Trevor Berbick! It’s me Willy D! It’s not the second round. It’s my round. Ha I’m so excited teammates! I can’t wait to show everyone how I can breath! I don’t even know what’s it’s like. We’re gonna learn so much! I can’t wait to not only keep up in class, but start to excel in my personal performance! I can’t wait to be able to take a lung full of O2! I can’t wait! 

Show my boys there’s nothing stopping you from achieving what you want, it’s just gonna take work. Could make you wanna cry, maybe want to have a meltdown, maybe even make you want to quit trying! Maybe, it’s up to the individual to destroy their demons and address their shortcomings! That’s right boys your success rests squarely on your shoulders, no one else’s. it’s not up to your teachers to make you succeed, it’s all on you. We are just here to try and guide and encourage and show a path that isn’t full of treachery. Let me show you a path that won’t kill you and your soul boys!  You don’t have to see it, just please believe in a easier way. Hard work, commitment, and never quit on yourself! 

If only I could hear my own advice sometimes.... well....time to lead by example. Done enough talking about it

See you soon team

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan

Hey you guys....

 Well well well! How’s things today? I gotta apologize for the late blog, and so here it shall appear!! Let there be blogs...and such it happens! 

I continued work on my form this past week. Got some good solid reps in. Feeling better. Just gotta keep working on the stamina. Riding the bike and simply doing my push ups and sit ups. Nothing fancy. I, well, don’t have a lot to report. It’s was just one of those weeks. Not much happened, but, I got a fair bit accomplished! I did put in a new floor in the living room and hall way!! Bam!! Fantastic!! Finished with two hours before I had dr appointments! 

   And such, now, with these small surgeries I have just had, I really have to slow down. I made a joke to the dr, seeing if he’d be interested in restitching me on a daily basis, because sitting still isn’t what I do! Hahaha! He smiled and chuckled, sure, I could use the practice he says!! Hahaha. Oh boy, do me up like a zipper Doc!! Hahaha. Oh it was a good day. I did find out though, about myself that, I am a quiet fella when anticipating, but when I’m nervous I’m a chatterbox! Just on and on and on. It was a very conscience decision to try to be quiet, but, it didn’t work out that well! I also found out my dr is a wrestling fan too!! I’m like you're an even better dr now!! I’m always coming here! Good times! 

For the rest of today, honestly I’m going to watch some horror flicks and Bret Hart matches. I finally found a copy of the rob zombie version of Halloween and I’m super excited to watch it again! I absolutely love rob zombies re-make of this movie. He nails it. He gets right into micheal’s head, gives the viewer a glimpse of that mans mind and that’s what is so scary about that movie. I mean, he turned to oh of killers into even more of a monster! I’ll drink that up. John Carpenter did a fantastic reboot when he did the 30year anniversary of Halloween. All three I think are fantastic! So, what’s you’re favourite scary type of movie? Doesn’t have to be as intense! Maybe Scooby-Doo does Halloween is good! Maybe that’s intense enough for you and that’s super cool! I just wanna hear about it, please. 

If I could I’d put one of those gifs Shia LaBeouf screaming do it! Just pretend that is here! Okay!!

Any font, I have the next weekish to get all healed up and then I can get back into training like I desire! Patience though. Patience. This is a good lesson in slowing down and paying attention to my body. I’m getting older like all of us and I don’t recover from broken hands in a few days anymore, in fact those old breaks really bother me today. And right around this temp the body goes into pain mode and the next few months, until spring comes back, I’ll live with a constant uncomfortable lingering pain in my body! That’s okay, this is why I’ve been spending so much time at the doctors lately. Help with the unneeded pain! I want to be healthy, and my own little desire to self implode is slowly going away. I kind of actually want to be apart of my kids adult lives. I really want to see retirement. Truly I do! Never cared for it before, but then alas, I was challenged to look at things with more gratitude! Really stop and honestly look! Fine I will. Huh? This is kinda really cool! This..is...interesting to say the least. I don’t really have words to explain my thoughts. Maybe later.  

Honestly, I’m not just faking it until I make it. I am really coming back outta this depression on fire and I’m feeling good about me. These surgeries, really kinda kick started my self esteem. I don’t have this “stuff and thoughts” lingering in the back of my mind and if I don’t hear from my dr I the next few weeks, I am all good!! Only a few more weeks of uneasiness. Doctor is confident all is well, everything looks “okay”, just gotta be patient for results! Hahaaaaaa

My smoking date is coming up fast and furious and I’m scared as hell. I got this. I have an awesome support network, I have Kung fu and I have the desire to stop. The drugs I’ve stopped doing, the booze I’ve stayed away from, the nasty habits I’ve broke. The results are already coming in from slowing down. My strength feels great! Easily winded still, but that will come with time. Hard to do anything when you can’t breath...40 some more hours of this. I have to stick to the plan no matter my weakest moment. I must or I will not see retirement. It’s in stone, the words have been spoken, the orders are being filled it’s time to let my inner lights shine brightly and realize this potential. It’s time  

 Teammates, friends, children of all ages. The last of it shall soon be over. Freedom from the past, and a complete new chapter in my life. That last little fibre from the past is soon to be cut. Hold on tight and tuck your chins! This is gonna be fantastic! 

Well, I’m in pain enough to go lay down and watch some sweet stuff. 

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan 

Halloween

 Hey hey hey! It’s Sunday funday!! Boy, I had a good week. A real good week. Started kinda blah and slow, but, I got a text outta the blue out from a solid cat that always hangs out in my corner! Just wanting to see how I am! Huh?!? That’s cool. I have had some health issues if you may. Found out it was nothing serious, but, I was worried, thankfully it’s a whole bunch of nothing to be worried about! Whew!!!

This past little bit has been a serious test. A test in a just about every aspect of my life. From being tested with kids, to family to random strangers. I do believe I’ve done fairly well. There’s a few conversations I wish that didn’t explode in my face, but, such is life. Maybe one day, when honesty is a real thing, we can build a relationship. Living in lies and refusing to listen to the other side makes for a very trying relationship. I haven’t given up. I won’t give up! 

   One thing I want to talk about was Thursday’s class. Intention was brought up and an uneasiness of striking our training partners. The conversation got me thinking again. If I train to pull punches and to limit myself during my training, when real life happens all I’m going to have is practiced pulled punches. In my opinion, I will not have the muscle memory in a fight situation to place proper strikes and take control of a situation. When we train with our partners, no no we don’t blast and injure each other. No we don’t train to see who is better. We train with respect! We train to learn. I don’t want to hurt you, but I do want to know this technique! Therefore a sense of realism has to come out. So, I feel anyhow, when a level of comfort is achieved by both training partners, intensity with control has to go up. Otherwise, you’re left training at half speed and realistically you will only ever achieve maybe half of your complete awesomeness. As we master these techniques we should be able to step up intensity with little to no fear of hurting our training partner. That’s why we train the same moves over and over. 

 I was worried about flow in some of my techniques. Especially the knife hand sweep, followed by the punch and dragon whip kick! It just kinda felt weird. I mean, I feel like the body is moving off on an angle in the form and not straight forward. So, after asking for help, things look decent, everything looks okay, just keep practicing. So, I have and, I found, maybe I’m off, but, I found that the sweeping knife hand and following punch almost have flow off of centrelines! So, sure I’m striking an opponent in front of me, but, the flow of that knife hand forces myself and my opponent off to one side. That punch simply follows suit in your direction! I wanted to know more, to the heavy bag. After some time of knife hand punch, knife hand punch, I believe I found that meaning. 

    Let’s looks at force vectors and intention for a second. Stay with me!! Let’s put realism here. You want my stuff! I warn you no too, but, You have your guards up approaching me to take my stuff. Sink in and send that knife hand out there. Whatever direction I take your guards with that opening knife hand IS the direction my vector is going. Your vector is coming straight at me. Simple physics states, two colliding vectors will combine into one and send both energies into a new direction, in our case off on an angle, towards and away from me. The dragons whip, follows our center. It chases that punch. It goes where our shoulders and hips point. SO, therefore, if I apply this technique properly, if taken in the rotation of the earth versus the moon and compared that to the sun and crushed the math on the meteor coming towards us, I have to be moving or attacking on a angle, otherwise I choke my own techniques off and my training is for nothing. 

Well, I sure hope that makes sense! It made mud clear for me!

   “Kung fu gives my punches a purpose. In order to maintain my purpose, I have to learn my intentions behind that punch. Leaning about my intentions teaches me about my motives for throwing that punch. My motives teaches me who I am for the day!” 

I do have a question for the team! It’s a very very serious question! Take it serious or Mr.Thursday Night might have to come out and see ya... HALLOWEEN!!!! 

   What are your plans? What is your family doing? I have been celebrating Halloween for a few weeks now! The house isn’t decked out or anything yet! I’m just going out dressed as my favourite. The OG of thrilling and killing, the true Boogeyman, the Silent Stabber Mr.Halloween himself the one the only Mr.Mike Myers! 

   Yes I have been going out dressed as Mike Myers! Hey, dogs gotta get walked and played with! Seriously, once august ends it’s Halloween season. If we can have six months of Xmas, we can have two months of Halloween. Haha. But the looks and reactions I’ve gotten!! Just fantastic. I legit had this old boy pull his car over on Main Street just to give me dirty looks!! Haha. Most people laugh and wave after crossing the street...I just do the slow turn and stare!! I’ll stand in my front yard wearing my mask staring at traffic coming into town...people slow down alright! Get the wave or honk and I stare!! Hahahaha. Oh goodness I love having fun. I told you, I’m different. Oh hahah. Check this out. I have a spot for the mask in the kitchen, so when it’s dark outside and you come into the kitchen, the reflection of Myers is in the window looking down at you...scares the kids every time!!!! Hahaha. Oh I’m going to pay for this down the line!!!! I have a plan for my kids. I got this fog machine and strobe light that my boys like setting up in the back yard okay! And the trampoline is set up in the back corner of the yard...it’s dark no light behind the trampoline. I have all black gear. 

I train for these moments in life.......

Hahahaha!!! 

Okay have a great day everyone! I’ll see you soon

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan

Today today

 Well happy Monday morning!! How’s things today everyone? My week has been interesting I suppose. Sick kids and staying home. The youngest came down with a cold early in the week and the oldest boy got sick a few days later. So, I pulled the teacher dad routine and spent my days trying to teach my boys!! Haha. What a week that was! Good thing I’m actually prettty smart and I can keep up to grade 4 & 7 school work!! Yeah for me!! 

I kept going on forms and such, but I didn’t have a lot of gas this week! I got sick too and just drained the energy from me. Well, that and trying to be a teacher! Not as bad as it sounds, but, it’s definatly not my cup of tea! But, hey, I showed the boys different ways to accomplish math! We worked hard on sentences and then I started giving a bit of a history lesson in wrestling! Good old social studies! Who can tell me who the first Intercontinental Champion of WWE? And why did the introduction of that belt have such an everlasting effect on wrestling today? 

   Pat Patterson! 1979 the first tournament was held for the intercontinental championship. It was the first belt used for mid card wrestlers. It was important to this day because it’s the longest lasting, non-adultered belt in WWE. It’s considered prestigious because, normally, this belt is the beginning of heavyweight contender ship. It’s a trial period if you may. It’s also, where some top guys will fued, in order to bring characters back into the tv time, which eventually should lead to more tv and character development on tv. Finally it’s prestigious because, simply some of the people who have held that belt and the legacies they have left on the wrestling world! Start with the original champ Pat Patterson, one of the legit toughest and cleanest wrestlers to ever grace the Buisness, to the likes of Ricky Steamboat vs Macho Man Randy Savage! This was the fued that bumped Macho Man into main street stardom! Once Bret the Hitman Hart won the IC, within two years, he was in heavyweight contendership. Even to the match that just took place on Sunday night. AJ Styles vs Sami Zayne vs Jeff Hardy ladder match for the IC. AJ Styles is WWE main “across the world guy”! He’s wrestled with every major organization in wrestling and when you see AJ styles, it means championship style matches! Even when Styles makes mistakes or botches, it looks good! He makes wrestling look like Sifu Brinker makes Kung Fu look simple. The other two are awesome as it is, don’t get me wrong, and it was an awesome ladder match! Man, that would hurt jumping 15 Feet off of one ladder onto your opponent, whose laying on a ladder,  just to stop on concrete...I’m so envious. That’d be so much fun! It would hurt shit yeah, but once that pop hits....it’d be worth it! 

    Well, okay, than. Yes the Clash of Champions ppv just happened and I thought it was a solid show! A few wtf moments, but it’s wrestling! It’s not always supposed to make sense! Just smile and nod! 

   And as for all else, Kung fu is going well! Sticking to the basics, and just working on the forms and things I know! With this cold and such, I’m electing to just stay at home for the time being and just keep working on the basics. 

   I am putting together a plan to take my health and well-being back. My breathing and stamina really do suck, so, I’m goi g to crush this smoking thing while I’m chilling at home! Ohh gawd!! I’m already anxious and sweaty and trying to trip myself up! My quit date is approaching fast and I have slowed down on the intake of poison, now, I just have to believe I can live without a cigarette! I see everyone not smoking, so, I’d like to not smoke too. Besides at $15 a day, man does that get old fast!!! 

So, here’s to a week of meltdowns and confusion!! I watched one of my best buddies just quit, with some help and a lot of will power! And I want to too. I’m kinda sick of stinking and not breathing and looking like a leather purse and feeling like crap! I’ve smoked since I was like 10. I took it up full time around 12/13. Peer pressure? Being a dumb kid, not respecting myself, not giving myself a chance to succeed? I don’t know why I started smoking! But, I did, and here I am, looking at these sticks of death trying so hard to figure out why I enjoy them? 

Anyhow, if you can figure the logic behind smoking, let me know! And if not, well, I’ll talk you soon any which way!! Have a great week team

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan

Well....

 Yeah hey there! How y’all doing in this fine Sunday morning? Well I’m okay I do suppose. Not super great but not in the dumps. I’m flatlined!! Which is actually an amazing finisher! The Flatliner. Mil Muertes aka Ricky Banderas has a beautiful flatliner!!  If I had a wrestling promotion, I’d straight up have Ricky as my top guy!! Yeah and he’d fued with the likes of bray Wyatt, ricochet, Pentagon Jr and a few guys from NJPW. I honestly can’t spell their names.....but they are great! Japanese pro wrestling is much harder hitting and more of a shoot match. And a shoot match is basically a full on fight! Not near as many pulled moves!! You can totally hear the difference!! Ha whoa sidetracked  

You know I learnt a bit about myself last week. A lot of what I learnt is not new to me, just lots of reminders. Little resets. Much needed! I did get caught up in making that money and damn I was making money.... Our minds are such a powerful entity and if given room to grow, oh the wonders we can wonder.  If given a dark room oh the things that can fester. It’s truly amazing. I mean either way you choose to go, obviously there’s reprocusions. Consequences that can lead us to glory or to gloom. 

I let my mind go to the darkness. It was a distinct choice. I remember the talk I had...okay, just a few days okay!! I like the punishment I guess? I don’t know! It’s a bad habit to keep, but, for me anyhow, It’s a useful tool when used properly. I feel anyhow! I used to love the insanity of everything and as I’ve grown up, I have tried to walk away from insane thoughts and people. These weeks were hard because, I’ve had to make real tough decisions about moving forward in life and who gets to ride with me from hence forward! 

I’ve grown tiresome of being a scapegoat for certain people in my circle, and now, even after talks, they just will never understand until they are willing to take honest looks at themselves. I’m all done caring, all done. Time to move on with my life. Something I should have done years and years ago, but, I kept them around because family...

Well, onto new things and places in life. This is gonna be great. I am very excited to move forward with out people holding me back. I’ve got my plan on paper, I have a great mental attitude about moving forward with Kung fu. And I’m going to continue kicking the crap outta life! Life got me a few weeks ago, I’m rebounding and coming back with fists flying man! I’m not going to give up and roll over. Not today and not tomorrow! 

Kung fu, is the best release I have. I have some solid teammates, I have some amazing teachers and have managed to continue to build up an awesome friendship that sprouted outta the IHC. One of my strongest role models has come from Kung fu. Some of my favourite people I’ve met in class. My biggest supports are on this school. Yo, I honestly have a tattoo based around silent river Kung fu. I straight up asked permission to include srkf on my piece!! Forever implanted on my being. Yeah, like a tag! Sure whatever. It’s a constant reminder of where my strength comes from. Of where my mind belongs. The strongest  part of my spirit comes from silent river. Honestly, we have techniques that literally rip shoulders apart, but we don’t. That’s strength. The ability to not hurt, even though you can! 

I don’t want to jump on my own band wagon to early and say how amazing I’m doing, cause that’s silly. I need more action. More results. I have a mission, I have a game plan and I have some awesome teachers. It’s time to truly utilize my time. 

I want to be blogging about my physical breakthroughs more so obviously, I need to train more and more. This routine is going to go well for me! Just gotta stick to the plan. Push ups and sit ups in the am, kids to school, prep supper, get chores done, lunch, train and family time afterwards. It would be silly if I can not get a few hours of training in a day again! What also am I going to do? Smash darts? Done enough of that! 

I just want to say, I hope this wasn’t too aggressive. I just kinda wanted to put it all out there and just have it out of my mind. I’m an aggressive fella to begin with and then I get wound up and it’s like a tornado some days! Ha. Seriously though, again the power of blogging and accountability! 

Okay teammates! I think that’s all the rambeling I have for now. Hopefully it’s coherent and understandable! 

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan

Knees, elbows and fists

 Hello there! How are ya? I’m better! Really I am. Got things sorted out. I am fairly straightforward now, again. Ahh life’s curveballs and groin shots! Learning lessons. I am over this work situation. Forget them! 

Any which way, back to getting that plan together. Honestly I knew I wasn’t going to stick to anything until I got closure from that last spot. So here we are. This past weekend I worked hard a changing my attitude and I focused just how fortunate I am. A few of my friends reached out and did the old check up. Since I’ve been gone I’ve had numerous reach outs from old friends. Like some of the boys from back when! That’s cool. Every one is all familied up and such. It’s nice to see. Didn’t think we all where gonna make it!! Haha! 

King fu wise, I moved forward in one aspect, and seriously just hit the heavy bag. I did not do forms. Not hand nor weapon. I truly just smashed the bag. The only thing I worried about was stance and working my quadrants. Trying to get that snap all lined up! Just break faces! I wanted raw power. Let me see what’s hiding in here? Knees, elbows and fists oh my! How I missed the heavy! I didn’t have the luxury of a heavy bag in gp, so I wanted to put a literal hole in that heavy bag. Believe me I tried. Man, and I threw Twiztid on bleeding ears loud and zoned in! Haha. It wasn’t a flurry of flailing. No no, it was and is a calculated de-construction. I ran scenarios in my mind and played with techniques. Times like these I wish I had like a robot that you could press a button and you got a fight partner!! How cool would that be?!? I’ll take two please!! 

And then, well...that’s about it....see ya later folks

Thanks for your time!

Me.Duncan

Parental advisory....seriously...more of a pg13ish I rewrote this like too many times so this is it.

 Hi. Seriously, I’m pretty off. I’m not really all here right now. I’ll get there. I find blogging is a great place to write things out. I find if I’m asking the write questions and listen to me words, I’ll find hints and such about what’s next. You know what I mean? Just kinda write and hopefully some semblance of coherent language comes out? I really don’t know what to write. I’m scattered. Just had the old L-Bomb dropped on me. Saturday morning having coffee with my kids, “Oh quite please, I gotta take this! Oh hey boss! This is odd what’s up? I’m laid off? oh cool, thanks. Oh yah I’ll be sure to drop off your gas card...

 Upstairs I’m pretty mad. Straight up pissed. But, this is the calmest I’ve been since sat morning. So, As, I’ve been documenting and sharing with everyone, I’ve been working outta town minimum 24-4. Last shift was 31 days on. I’ve sacraficed a lot to be where I was with my company. I was the go to guy. I was running equipment and cleaning the site. I was jumping and helping picking rocks load me up, let’s do this boys. Rocks flying man! I earned the respect of my peers and the respect of most my bosses. I’ve missed every Kung fu engagement and a fair number of online classes, so I could work....I’ve watched my kids frustrations grow through a computer screen because I can’t give his hug. I’ve sacrificed and given up a lot. Too much it seams. God dammit I got into a full on yelling match with my beautiful wife about working for this outfit and I still show up. “It’s gonna work out baby. I promise. Please, this will be good. I can feel it in my bones. I’m gonna bring the ironworker to a pipeline and blow their minds”....fudge sakes. I honestly thought with everything I had given and the A+’s I get at work for working like a fun demon, I was gold. Straight up, I’ve had inspectors write up reports and send them to my office on me, for the work I do. Well, as I’ve been told. I have had the head inspector ask me, how’s your back?  Youre carrying the crew on this project...the HEAD inspector. Nine times outta ten they don’t give a hoot about you, because you don’t matter. Like at all. 

 Everything was good, until some office politics. Stuff I had nothing to do with. A lot of really not cool stuff. Stuff in an office I’m 5hours away from and have never had business in. But, my name came up and with no opportunity to say anything about anything, I’m down the road. Get out! Just leave.....cool thanks. Yes I thanked my old boss for at least calling. I mean I was standing and bullshitting with you on Thursday afternoon. The week prior I’m, specifically told not too worry. I’ll keep you busy Willy! Yeah no worries?!? Then too have the gumption to call me on my days off, because I don’t give enough already, and lay me off....over the phone? Punk me like that?!? That one hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been laid off lots, lay off is time off! I used to look forward to layoffs!! Layoffs meant job was done unless the bosses liked you! But I have always been looked in the eye and let go. Over the phone...bust your.....with my.....and then I’ll .....and place things......friend! Muhahaha  fill in the blanks, ahaha at your own risk. 

   That’s just fun fine I said to myself. I’ll show them. But, a few hours later, I was offered an opportunity in a different kinda field. And good honest work none the less. Just a few hours later! Here maybe try this! So, it’s on the table and that offer was a great pick me up! I’m very grateful but going to hold on right now. I’m going to take a week or so and just kinda hang out. Get my mind back. Re focus and blast through new doors. Get caught up at home. Actually be dad! I do know this, yeah, I’m disappointed about work, something else will happen for me. There’s a lot happening in my field, so, I just gotta look around. 

  So, that’s kinda that. Something else will work out, it always does. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, it will always work out. Anyhow, I’m gonna go finish cleaning out my apartment, hopefully that doesn’t catch on fire or some shit, it’d be my luck lately! Ha. Laws of attractions, my arse. Forget the pandemic, this was the worst summer of my life. This was not the outcome I was looking and hoping for! I lost. Okay I’ll tap out today. But tomorrow, you’d best look out. I’m not hiding. I’m hitting this like a bull on a clown. Sure, I’m knocked down and hurting and pissed, doesn’t mean I’m out. It doesn’t mean, it’s over. This is journeyman stuff. It’s mind twists like this and challenges like this that I eat for breakfast. I trudge the path for my happy destiny, because no one else will and I love it because no one else can. This is nothing more than fuel for me to use. Absoluelty, I’m on the sidelines licking my wounds and kicking water bottles, you bet. But, all these people really did was piss me off. Determined? Sure and whatever other word used to describe that. For lack of better terms, I’ll show them, every single one of them. I’m not done and I will succeed. 

I know what I’m capable of when I’m like this. I know how focused I can get. This is good. I know where I can go. I know just what I’m capable of, if I turn this mental train wreck around and just start breathing again. It’s a wonderful place, with continued success, just different victories. Take the step...

 No bad days, just bad moments.

I’m here on my patio; writing my blog

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan 

More patience.

 Okay hi there! What’s going on here? Well, this was a great week for me. Work wise, I had a good week. I’ve been bugging my foreman to jump in a hoe and mover dirt around, if it’s possible, well, one our operators has left the job and so I was able to jump in for a few hours! Bam! So, this is what I did. Gave the machine a quick look over, jumped in, fire it up and read the controls, took a few moments and got fami,air with the controls before we even rolled an inch. Oh, running diggers is just like playing video games! Running equipment! It’s all in the touch. Fill bucket with dirt, lift up put dirt over there! Repeat! Only a few bangs and shaking of equipment!! Oh snap, don’t do that calm down, let go of the levers for a breath, try again. I honestly got compliments for the decent beginner job I did! So, no problem, just need more practice. 

Speaking of practice, man I completely forgot the last few moves of Da Mu Hsing. Nailing the movements at the apartment, and then forget it all in front of the camera! Good gracious, I was excited to show everyone too, been working hard on it! Haha ahhh, then I forgot the techniques! Then, I messed up the bow out, and I’m like oh my god, what a train wreck! Yup, and like a minute later, I remembered what I was supposed to do.....Ahh well, I’ve stumbled before. It was the internet lag....yeah! The internet! Yeah, it was just time lapses, or whatever! Any how, I gotta get crushing more reps, what I have been doing of slower methodical forms, I want to amp up the flow into speed. So, like I say, I'm use to stopping and checking stances, I have to keep pushing forward with flow. But, at what cost? Stance? Intention? No, I need those. I want to start going for speed, but nit if it’s gonna cost me stance and grounding. Maybe, I could just be patient and keep going as to what is working so well, you know, basics and proper Kung fu. So, I gotta slow down and just stay steady with flow and stance. Everything else will happen when it’s supposed to! 

My combinations, feel not bad. There’s a few I spent a lot of time with. Simpler techniques. 3-4 moves in there. Running through the older ciriculum, and now even more of the sweeping knife block and the punch. It’s been in rotation since I’ve first seen it months ago, but i can step it up! No sweat! I feel I’m doing it right, I feel it’s doing well. I’m getting the extension and snap Sifu was asking for. Making sure not to lean over, just into the punch. Probably one of my more favorite techniques have always been out of horse stance. Seriously, that side heel thrust kick screams out of a horse stance, so simply falls into a backfist, spinning back kick then whamo, into a fighting stance squared backup, ready to rock. It’s even better when you make sound effects when you train....I’m not sure why you don’t? I always loved that combo. I get that a horse stance you “loose” some of your weapons, but, you gain “strength” in others, opening and closing the gap is fast I find in the horsestance. Mind you I have a large wing span, so that always helps, but still. 

So, I mean, I’m on day 25, worked 20, only 4 more to go! I’m getting a little stir crazy, going to have an insanely busy few days off and then back up here. That’s okay, supposed to be a quieter fall. Yeah, we will see about that! I doubt it. I’d like to just sleep the next few days until I can go home, but, alas, what I will do is keep getting up, and I’ll keep going! Besides, I’d miss out on Kung fu, if I was sleeping! That’s not good. Ha. Okay, I know I’m rambling, I’ll let ya go!

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan

Type in title here

 Why hello there! Last night I was going to blog, but, my boys and I got on the phone last night and we chatted and played games online way to late for me. And today was supposed to be rain, and it is, so here we are! Anyhow, it’s nice that we do get rain days, I just hate how this company decides those are our days off and they reset our work schedule for us! Just ask if it’s my favorite or not! 

   So, that spot in da Mu Hsing, that one spot specifically, the high back stance with double knife strike. That’s the spot I just want to stop at. It’s kind of blah at the moment. I want to stop, but, I’m reminding myself to keep flowing, so it’s this smash up of hesitation and uneasiness. I’m sure it looks as ridiculous as it feels. Haha. But. With that being said. It’s coming. When I bust out some forms today, it will flow even better. It’s been thought about and talked about. Continually worked on and concentrated on. So, this will be nice to wrap up. So yeah, it’s flow I want right now. I can feel the stiffness wanting to creep in. Like stop here. Nope, only forward progression here. Haha. And I’ve got all day, I could literally do that action 500 times, maybe, and it’d still be supper time! I don’t know, I’m just trash talking! 

  Okay, I started the blog yesterday, but, did not finish it. No, I honestly after dinner played with my kids online. We really had a good time, and seriously, all I’ve got is digital interactions with them, I’m a hands on kinda dad, so, if I can do something other than nothing you bet your arse I will. No, I wanted to actually talk about something else, but, I literally just witnessed a wowie of a car accident. It was an accident that missed the front of my car by maybe a meter. It’s was a holy pucker up moment. Fortunately everyone involved is alive. I was on the phone to 911 in seconds and watched the life gasp back into other fella  a few moments later. Myself and “dude on the bike”, we cheered when he did his comeback. Even the 911 lady sighed a sigh! Wow! I’m still a touch shell shocked if you may, it’s not everyday you see something like that. 

   So, I  thinking wow, that was a literal meterish from my car. Three seconds earlier, I’d of gotten it. Three. So, for some reason, I went back in my mind and processed, what took three seconds in my drive from the shop to store to accident scene. Rules of the road followed, blah blah blah. So I thought, hmm, Maybe it was the pedestrian I came to a complete stop for about 75 meters before the accident happened. Huh. Maybe. Maybe it’s a ripple. I stopped from slowly running over a person, who was in a crosswalk I know, weird and something stopped me from getting holy not healthy due to accident. 

   I’m rambling I know. I’m processing. I think what I’m trying to say is, these little things we do for others, our acts of kindness. More importantly, the way we treat ourselves and think of ourselves. It adds up, our thoughts and actions. You put all this effort and energies into the universe, and good things come back. I understand this is an extreme example of goodness out and good luck in, but, I only understand extremes.  It makes me think. Okay, I was shown that and placed there for a reason. I don’t believe in coincidences. Those don’t exist. I do believe in lessons from getting what you put out. Karma, man. Always play nice with lady karma, you always get it ten fold. Good or bad. 

  So, yeah, not quite sure of what to make of the above, but, hey, there is. Maybe, it’s time I look at some of my life choices again, and maybe do something about it, because whamo, just like that dudes...stay safe out there everyone. 

 Okay bye!!  

Mr.Duncan

rain day

 Hola! What’s cracking fellow rat-finks? Oh I’m doing great thanks! I have no idea where I’m going here today...... hahaha. Tuck your chins folks!

I can get this blog out early today because well, we got rained out this morning!! Awesome! Nothing better than hanging out in gp for the day! Haha. Actually, if you get up early like I do, and go for a cruise earlier in the day, boy, you see the events from a Saturday night in grande prairie! Oh what a place. There’s a lot of lost souls here. A lot of people swallowed up by addictions and mental illness. A lot of people just simply forgotten about. I stopped and “gave” a fellow a few coins in change, not entirely sure, but, he was on planet Pluto. Just “standing” there and staring into the sun. I more or less dropped the change close to his feet. He was too messed up to know what just happened. He did speak a bit, but you could hear the hopelessness and sadness in his voice. I don’t say this to make fun of him, I really don’t. I see people in a position like that and my heart breaks a little for them. It’s easy for people not living that lifestyle to just brush them away and sluff them off like they are burdens on society. I am not perfect, no, but I want to help. The honest to goodness truth of it all, is all I can do to help, is drop some change and live by example. I mean, I wasn’t in his exact shoes, but, I was close, and I know how heartwarming it is, when someone genuinely tries to help. Whether you’re in a position to see or accept that help, is another story. 

I’ve seen the same tent parked in front of the same coffee shop for around a week or so. Look hard, but they where there. And almost every morning you’d see the police there. Once they all had a cup of coffee in hand, the next time I saw everyone there, the police where trying to help pack up the campers. I saw that same look of defeat in everyone’s face that day. Like now what? Now where? 

Now, here I sit, deep in contemplation about life and where things could go. What could happen. The some many of life’s possibilities. What can I do to come out ahead, if I can. What can I do to own my situations. I’ve already said it, live by example. Help when I can. You know, I see the team doing the demos and drive-ins and such and that’s really cool. I’m proud to be on this team. I can’t exactly be there often, so, what can I do from here. I do do a fair bit of training, with more coming. My intensity has come back, my need to push and be better, is, well, better. I want to be better. I want to show people, who have had rough goes and been stuck in the same rut and just spinning your tires. Sometimes, a fella has to stop pressing the gas and pause and rethink his approach at life. 

Mentally this summer, I’ve been up and down, but pretty level headed. People have come back and some have ran away. Ha. I’ve met new people, some I care for, others not so much. I’ve learnt a lot about myself while away. It’s easy to disengage when by yourself. Thankfully I’ve got a solid training partner who helps keep me pointed in the right path. And I do the same for him. Kung fu has given me confidence just in myself to be batter person. It’s cool. I have a really good idea of what I am capable of. Not just physically. Mentally, with my words. How to speak. I know I’m a bit of a brute, but, I am good with words when I choose to be.  

To what’s help get me to these questions and thoughts. When we presented our forms this week, I felt good doing my form, I felt good about things. But still there’s a few points of wanting to pause and stop. These are the same places I was stopping and fixing my stances a lot. So there’s, like this built in stoppage of play just sitting there, bam, keep running into it. It has become more noticed in myself, I am more aware of those flaws. Therefore fixing them will be easier. Still ensuring my stances are correct. That’s whats most important, I feel, is my stances. That’s gotta be there before moving on. Otherwise it’s gonna be a long training session. The combinations are working out well I think. Flow feels good, I’m not trying to kill the air in front of my kicks and punches, but, the quality is there. The flow is getting better, the more I pay attention. I’ll get this back. I’ll be back better than I was before. Maybe I’m there? No, not yet. And really where I was is just an older chapter in my book. Where I’m going, that’s a whole new story. 

How’s it gonna go? How’s that story going to unfold? Couldn’t tell ya, but, it’s gonna be good! No matter what happens in my future, it will be just fine. I have the utmost faith that what I’m doing, mentally and physically will lead me to greater places. The desire, the drive, the tenacity, it’s all there, I want all the know,edge! Beforei receive, I gotta put in all the work! Work and pushing limits? That’s what I do. 

I know my positive life decisions have made a difference  in other people’s life’s. Members of my family thank me, for doing what I did so they could see, just what not to do in life! Ha, yeah no problem, great times....hahaha. 

Anyhow ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages, I’m outta here. Gonna clean the snot out of my apartment and meal prep and bet up the shadow in my living room, keeps following me around and copying me.... pretty frustrating, I tell you what! So, irritating *heavy sigh* 

Thanks for your time! See you soon!

Mr.Duncan

Yuppers

 Hey hey it’s me it’s me it’s Mr.D! Hey-ya how ya doing? Me, I’m great thanks for asking. So here we are six months in. And I’ve been at the kwoon what twice maybe? I don’t know. Wild hey?!? Really it’s not much different this year than any other. I’m just gone outta town! Like always! Ha. 

  So, I did want to say a few things at the meeting I just didn’t unmute in time, and the poor connection, by the time I realized, man, Sifu was speaking, so it’s chill, I’ll put it here! I just wanted to say my peace about a few things. Just saying my thing, that’s it. For me, I lost a lot of steam right after the tournament, if I’m going to be honest with everyone. Being that excited and jacked up and striving for something, and boom, work and life interferes and well, I guess I’ll sit this one out. No sweat, I still sent in my videos. I trained for it and pushed limits, and then it’s oh no you gotta work today. Yeah hey boss, could I maybe have this day. Like I’ve worked hard to get into tourney shape and, I’d really like to participate. No, will you can just go home if that’s how it’s gonna be. Oh okay, no sweat I understand, sorry for bothering you with my humanity. I’d didn’t say the last part, wanted too. That kinda sucked. And then we could start having live classes again! Super, but we lost those fantastic videos/lesson online. No sweat that’s a lot of work for everyone involved. But seriously, I meant outside of working with another person one on one, that was the best tool I have ever had. It’s like, oh what did Sifu say? Rewind and oh that’s what he said, bang on! Absolutely that’s a lot of work for everyone! Right then, so, my forms and techniques are kilometres better than they were, but they are twice as far as I want them to be. My kicks, looking good, but, come on, I can do better. Therefore, I need to go back to the intensity I had when I first came back. It will, I’ll just go there, quit being lazy with outside circumstances. No matter the reason, it’s no excuse. Anyhow, back to the basics of what I was doing. That always gets me results. 

   As for the last week, I didn’t get a lot of training in. These last few days, I started kicking and stances and forms again. I did take the long weekend off and seriously just rested. Well needed and deserved. That was a long stint. Anyhow, it was a nice break, I could wish for more, but that’s gonna be a hard nope. Another good stint ahead of us, and hopefully more down the road. It’s sketchy out there, but, hey hopefully, ill still have a gig, when most others are at home. That’s why I work the way I do. So I get to stay around and reap the rewards of still working but an expected honest half as hard. Ahh this is nice. Sure beats running 20km a day! Doing cleanup, so, it’s a lot of machine work and spotter work for me. Spot things and that’s it! A lot of standing and walking. I walk solid 10-15km on a slow day! I should get a Fitbit or something! 

   Anyhow, I do like where my kicks are at. It’s been long enough of just that focus. Back to punches and knife chops. I really like chops! They are so powerful, it’s kind of mind blowing. It all makes sense how everything works, but, once that knife hand is locked and then unloaded, it’s like a fricken bomb goes off. Ha. Love it. Just watch the heavy bag fold around the hand. A literal fold and a skip. Haha. Awesome. Actually, I’m going to delve back into combinations, I was re-reading the focus on hands and I’m like, nah, I should be back at both in combinations. That’s whats needed. Cool. How’s that for a hard turn! 

Anyhow, I’ve said a lot of stuff for now and I’ll talk at ya soon!

Thanks for your time

Mr.Duncan