Gatitude For The Season

Hello its me again. On a fine monday morning. This break something different has taken over in my life. Gratitude. I have experienced something only sweet dreams are made of and was able to spend some time with kido. Very grateful for the small amount of time I had with her of Christmas eve. Very grateful for her getting along with her brothers and cousins so nicely. It was a great night. I remember saying to my wife, that, I do not need any presents or gifts, I have received the best gift of all. My kids. It was a short lived time, but, the best gifts of all, I have come to learn are very small. Whether it be in time or in size. So, gratitude was the theme for my Christmas.
    There are people in our paths that, we must deal with, and that maybe we are not very fond of. But, we still give the gift of kindness. Through our speech and actions, we spread kindness. Now, I am not the best at being kind, but, with practice, I have become better at it. One of my monkey goals is to really push myself to practice kindness and actually, really, caring about others. I constantly ask that question when on my heavy bag. Why do I need to be kind when I can kick someone's head off their shoulders. Why should I be nice when I can force my way out of people? That has been on my mind a lot lately. Not sure why, but it is a huge question. Well, I have done the "social experiments" on my own, as in just being nice to people and mentally noting the results. And, I get far more of what I desire through kindness, than with anger. People will do as you ask, if you're screaming mad, just to shut you up, but, there is resentment and anger involved, so, the job is done quickly and not usually professionally. If asked to do something with a tone of caring and kindness is the underlining tone in your voice, people, jump to the occasion and usually surprise you with results.
    Spending all these last few days with family and friends has made me see all the different dynamics, in creating a proper black belt, how I understand them today. This message and view point, will probably change and evolve through time. But today, I see a black belt as a force to be reckoned with in and out of the training halls. I see a black belt as the lighthouse of example on how to tear someone apart. But, I now also see, the other side of a true black belt. Not needing to use their hands to solve a problem, but their words. Those words only come through years of practice, and a commitment to being better than we were yesterday. But, even more than that, a black belt to me is someone, who doesn't need to brag or show off what they can do. They just do it. They do not waste their energy or their movements. They have gone through the ranks and been shown ways to save their energy and motions, and only move when needed. And deeper still, their movements are done instinctively. Movements, without moving. Effortless effort. Like one of my favorite quotes. "Be like water my friends. Water can crash or it can flow. Be water my friends." I know there's more to it, but that's my favorite part.
     For the rest of this year, I will continue on pushing hard for some of my goals. I plan on still crushing the quitting smoking thing. This is way harder than the drugs and alcohol man, holy I tell you what. Kids, don't let me catch you smoking. You thought your old man hit hard.... But, I have come to realise this one thing and its making this fight a lot harder. Our greatest gifts will come once we deserve them. Quitting smoking isn't the gift, its the freedom of life I receive that's the gift. My breath and blood pressure. That's the gift. So, I have a date set again. I'm going to quit again on my specific date. This time, like every other single time, I desire this a lot. I want to quit, like you people want to eat. I see the habits very deeply engrained into my being. I mean I got twenty years in the habit, so I have faced more walls than I ever thought where built. The little habits that I am constantly becoming aware of are wild. Never thought it was so embedded in me. So, wow, I honestly think this is the hardest fight of my life. But, I aint gonna quit quitting.
  
   Weeeeellllllllllll, I got some legos to build and gun wars to have. So, I better let you guys go for now. Thanks for your time.
Mr.Duncan

Wrong Cat to Mess With

    Why hello there. Saturday is here and the blog is early. Sunday I will be working again and today I get to go celebrate my youngest birthday party. Turning four he is. Fantastic. He is running in circles he is so excited. Well, I do not have much time to spare so lets get to it shall we?
  So, another week has passed with lots and lots of work involved. Winter is here and this is usually when my work kicks into high gear. Me and the crew where asked to go to the new Edmonton tower and help the boys hit their deadlines. My partner and I said to each other, so, we are going to take over this project, and we have. Our crew went from four to eight. My partner made foreman and the old foreman is now working with us. Yeah, we took over!! Hahaha. Its what we do. Awesomeness and efficiency can not be overlooked, and our hard work has been rewarded. And because of these changes we forced at work, we have been asked to stay the duration of the project!! Four to five more months of seven tens, with possible twelve's, if needed.
   Obviously kung fu has had to slow down and take a backseat role for now. Kung fu in the physical sense I should say. I have had more and more meetings and dealings with people, that time and energy has been desired from me. That's cool. I now like to help. Things from sparring change and smokes to giving a homeless person five or ten minutes to hear part of their story. I have found that yeah, there are lots of less fortunate that just want someone to listen and there are those to, who wish to do harm to others. I was stopped on the street by an older couple and listened to their story. Unfortunately, the sixty year old lady went into the soup kitchen to donate her time and was punched in the face by some loser. So, I do not think they will be back at that kitchen. But, the lesson from her conversation will always stay with me. She started talking to me about "those people" with hatred and racism. I really can not blame her, but I do not need to share the same views. Yes, I was not randomly punched by some psycho, but, I can feel the psychos pain and hatred. Once, I was at that point in live where I would randomly hurt happy people just wanting to help. I too, met aid with violence, so I can empathise. This lady told me you can not trust any Indian. I responded well you are native as well and you seem to be good people. She says, I am not an Indian, I am native American. There is a difference. Oh, I see. Okay. I see the analogy. So we parted ways after we finished our cigarettes and wished each other fair travels. She left me with lots to think about and even more to ponder and contemplate on my part in the situation. Even though, I had absolutely nothing to do with the whole situation, I can still be part of the solution. For one, I can start to look beyond the homelessness of it and start seeing them as humans, again. I can look beyond the skin tone and start looking at people as brothers and sisters in this thing we call humanity. Okay. I get the lesson. I silently thanked those two people who gave me their time and their lessons.
   Secondly, last week I had an atomic bomb dropped in my world. Through emails that I was not supposed to see, I learnt that my daughter will not be allowed to visit or hang out or talk to me near as much as we have been. Instead of sitting all parties down and pounding out our differences her grandparents decided to cut me and my family out and put her in counselling. Only recently has she developed bad habits, like lying and not studying. Only because of me has she developed these traits. Really!! Is that so! Sounds to me like someone needs to look at their part and maybe take ownership of their actions. I know for a fact I did nothing wrong but answer ignorance with knowledge and lies with truth. They do not like that I have told my daughter the truth. They do not like that kido wants to spend time with me as opposed to them. That's fine. You are going to rip her away from a positive role model who only wants her to be happy, for your own selfishness. Now I understand that parts of what I am saying are strictly emotional and may not be entirly true, but, when you have heard some of the things I have heard from kido and my mother, then to hear the fear in their voices when I show up to pick up kido, you can only think what I think. I try to be in tune with peoples emotions when they speak and I hear fear and hatred. I would be skeptical too.
    So, what does all of these recent lessons mean? Lots. There are lots of lessons here to be had. Tolerance. Love. Kindness. Patience. Everything I need more practice in. What am I going to do about this. Last time, I tried to light their house on fire. Hahaha! Fortunately I had people who refused to leave me alone for a few days while I calmed down. This time, I am going to light something on fire but it will not be their house. I could be angry, sad, fall into a depression and just want to hide in the corner. But, I will not. I will not give them the satisfaction of seeing me hurting. One, because I am not hurting. I did nothing wrong, this time. I was open and honest. I do not feel bad about anything that I did. I feel great about the small amount of time I had with my daughter. I feel we made huge progress. And two, more importantly, is they have motivated me, like you do not know. I will make them eat their words, not through anger and hatred, but by being absolutely amazing. Be being the exact opposite of what they think and then some. I will prove to them, through example, they messed up. So I owe them a thank you for throwing wood on this already scorching fire. This fire has absolutely consumed me. Now, not only do I look, how to be better, but whether I have the courage to help or not, I will help. I will step out of comfortable situations to be better than I ever imagined. You messed up son, now eat your hatred filled words. Here let me force feed your terrible decisions. and while I am shoving your terrible decisions politely, down your throat. I hope you choke on them. Then maybe you might open your eyes and see what damage you are causing. That is fine keep blaming me. Good! Do it! Come on! Keep fueling my fire. Come on you can do better than that. Really lay it on me. I know you want to so bring it on, fire trucks. I have already dealt with my part. I know exactly where I stand in this whole situation. I will continue to grow and evolve, and leave you in the dust. Hahaha. Here comes willie!!
   The old why so serious part of me keep screaming back at me. I am not fearful of it, but embracing it. The crazy side wants to come out and I let him. But, instead of being silly about things, its all about motivation. I have goals that will be accomplished in the sheep year. To achieve some of the numbers, going to be near impossible, but I will not label them impossible. More like a really great goal to hit. Year of the monkey? Yeah buddy. Going to rock that out of the park too. But with patience. 


Can you dig it?
Can you dig it, suckas!!
(remember the Warriors movie? Right at the beginning the gang leader talking to all the gangs? Uniting them all as one? Yeah that's what I feel like for like the last week!!)
  
  Yeah, that's right, im back. And better than ever. Messed with the wrong cat. I really want to drop some colourful language to really emphasise my part, but I don't want to insult or give the wrong impression of me.
   So, for right now, that is all. I need to get going for this party for my boy. I hope everyone has a great day and a better dragon practice.
Thanks for your time and I will see you soon.
Mr.Duncan

A Note

And then it was monday. Haha. the week has disappeared in some awesomeness at work mixed in with lots of kick-arse kung fu! Okay I'm really excited again. Not just for everything that is going on but, the results and kick backs a person receives. Looking into the future I am coming back for monkey year! That's exciting! I look to the escrima sticks and will continue with the stick training for goals for next year. But, wait, there is still this awesome year to complete. And you know, I do feel great about this year so far. Massive parts of my being have been dealt with. The freedom of having so much "stuff"' cleared out of your mind. The gifts of personal achievement. From solving and executing demons to building weapon forms. We are given a gift that is the I Ho Chaun. Its strictly up to us to reap the rewards if you might. I recognize the rewards but have a heck of a time with perspective. Constantly I kept looking at things as a sacrifice. Not as investment, like I should be doing. Time with the family versus kung fu. The battle of self doubt.
    Here for a second, I feel better about kung fu and I ho chaun now, because the future looks better. hehe. The light is at the end of tunnel thinking. This has been a crazy busy year for me and "trying to find time" has been really hard. Why? I am looking for an in-animate thing to begin with and its not about the time at all. It is about priorities. Setting, keeping and achieving goals. Staying the path. There are long term goals of mine that take hard work and commitment at this point in time. I need to keep looking at what I want in life and enjoy the work.
     Look guys I would love to stay longer but I am really tired. It has been a long weeks. Okay goodnight guys.
Mr.Duncan

Little Bit Of All

   Monday monday, here it has been! Lets start off by apologizing on the late blog. Yesterday was a day I really wanted to lie down and rest. Pancakes, pajamas, and blog. That was my plan for sunday. But, alas there were other plans planned for me. See here, the boys wanted me to go to their Christmas bingo game. I don't do bingo. Yesterday, I did bingo. And, you know, I was quite appreciative of the opportunity. There are people I know from around town and such. Was nice to see them again. I did not really talk to anyone. But, I did not cause harm with any negativity. I was pleasant and happy to be there. I was polite when approached. I carried quick and short conversations with whom I did speak with. Good times, indeed.
   I had noticed something when it comes to aok's. The things I did to start taking down numbers have become so engrained, I don't even notice I am doing them anymore. Not just that but, I have more confidence to do more than just holding a door, or having a quick conversation with someone. Like this older lady was having a heck of a time overcoming the conveyor stairs at west Edmonton mall. So I walked up to her. I was as nervous as she was. I smiled and promised it will be okay. I extended my hand. She took it and we held hands while she stepped onto the moving stairs. It was a really cool feeling when we were all done with the conveyor stairs. Yeah, that was neat. My wife was floored. haha. First for everything I suppose!
   The family life has been on fire. My time with Kido has been a blast. She is a really cool person. All she wants to do is help. My boys have been stuck to me like glue and its all real fantastic events. It would be nice if she would come to the house and hang out for a while, but, all in good time. I wish so bad, but one day. Maybe even soon. Meh, who knows. I do know my boys are just itching to play and hang with kido. I understand how that would be a lot. I mean, two completely different upbringings. Hers has been quiet and kind of peaceful, and ours is, well, two boys who like smashing.....everything. Ha. What a mind smashing that would be.
    Kung fu has been coming along very nicely. Sifu has been pushing the class on a few items. I really like those classes were you are pushed hard. And re-enforcing foot work. Expressing its importance. I really appreciate working with sifu, for just those reasons. The basics. Keep the basics shiny. We learn lots on this journey of kung fu. Lots of forms and movements. Lots of different techniques. Advanced and basic things. But the goal is always the basics. "Yeah, you can do lots of cool stuff, but if your stances is bad, then you have nothing." I find myself, consciously, looking at my stances, ensuring proper form. I can feel it now, like when I'm out. Even just a touch. Especially now that its been pointed out a few times. The awareness of bad form is very high. I'm always thinking about it now. Its a great place to keep looking at for improvement.
     I have my sights set on the escrima sticks this up and coming year. To the point that I near forgot about a stick form I have to show. Not really forgot, but backburnered. Oops. I haven't been spending a lot of time with the stick. Last week sifu asked if I could help the class, with some stick. That in itself really kicked my behind to get back on the stick form and keep polishing. I have a move I would like to integrate, but, I also, do not want to sabotage myself or my stick form. Having a move half figured out then trying to show some pile of dung to the public. No thanks. If I want that eye for detail to work for me, I kind of need to be unbiased, and not settle for less than I can truly produce, especially in my stick form.


Well every one, its another day in a few hours. I will see you soon.
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan