Well good morning to everyone out there in internet land. What a great week it has been. You know yesterday was a fantastic day. Just me and my boys on a road trip to Calgary. It was great. My boys where fantastic the entire trip. We went to a tattoo artist for a consultation. I love my tattoos. My tattoos tell a story. My story, just in picture form. Every major step or chapter in my life has been documented on my body. Well, we have time, so ill tell you what they mean to me. The joker on my fore arm represents the demons I faced when I sobered up, and just how crazy I do go, if I were to go back drinking. I have two skulls on my upper arm. One for my cousin, who lost the battle to addictions and alcoholism. one for myself and all that I lost in my battles with alcoholism. My grim reaper came to me in a drug induced frenzy. So, my next tattoo will be a dragon. Surprise, surprise. This dragon represents the un-dying spirit and breath of life that will not stop running through my body. I went to see this artist, because he specializes in Asian artwork. When I source out my tattoos, I really look for the fine details. I look at the artwork, I look for the little details. Details in the eyes or, counting out the scales. I'm very particular to whom puts an ink pen to me.
So, with that being said, the physical side of kung fu. Great. I'm really happy with the progress that has come. I have made great progress with the escrimas. The double articulation in particular. Now here's something cool. On Friday night I was playing around and I found the zone. in my mind, body spirit with the escrima. While doing the double articulation, I was listening to the escrimas singing. Yes, singing! I closed my eyes and just listened and heard. That was amazing. There's a few spots in the double articulation that I need to continue to work on, to keep the singing completely continuous, but it was a fantastic feeling.
I do not know what is so different about the escrimas, as opposed to the stick, but, when I pick them up, I feel, different. I absolutely love the escrimas. I start playing with them and all sorts of awesome techniques come flying out. For now, I really enjoy getting inside and just dismantling people up close and personal. I do enjoy staying outside and blasting people, but, inside is my favorite. I am working on stripping opponents weapons right now. that's cool stuff. Thursday night I was working a fair amount with sifu playter and he showed me all sorts of really wicked techniques. Thursday was a night of learning and making progress. Loved it.
And onto the Thursday night classes. I enjoy having Fridays back. On the other side, my meetings are on Thursdays and there is the clash ideals that run through my mind. I need very much kung fu and my outside meetings. Both are important, both mean the world to me. But, I can not do both at the same time. So, one has to give for the other. Balance is what I need. What am I to do? I feel strong enough to miss one outside meeting a month. For now. The strength will come, I hope and I can spend more time in I Ho Chuan class. So, for the time being, the fourth Thursday of every month I will be in class. Depending on how I feel mentally I will try to do the second Thursday as well, but, no promises. The question is being begged to ask. How will I show team commitment, on the nights I am not there? Well, I will be posting videos with a short write up of what I am doing. And more importantly, I feel this is the best way to stay engaged with missing classes. I missed two meetings in a row and its been a real mental struggle. It has been tough to keep, my thoughts, words and actions in order, but, friends from my program are just a short phone call away. So are the teammates. I need to remember everyone is here to help everyone. I am not alone any more. So, even though I am not there in body, I will be there in spirit and on the website thing.
So, that's all that I know today
Thanks for your time and thoughts
Mr.Duncan
Sunday, 28 February 2016
Sunday, 21 February 2016
Here's Willie!
Well, well, well. It's Sunday Sunday again. And what a day it is. Feeling the aftermath of the sheep banquet, is well, nothing less than inspiring. I felt that hole, or that emptiness Sifu warned us about, as soon as I opened my eyes this morning. Immediately after, I felt the screw that thought, this is not happening. Continuing my journey into the monkey year, I thought, no, we have goals to obtain. We have things I am going to do this up coming year. And finally, I can shut the door completely on the sheep year.
Shutting the door on sheep does mean, I no longer feel bad or hard on myself for falling short on so many of my goals. But it also means I no longer have to worry about those goals. They are not looming over me and crushing my heart and destroying my mind. With that being said, the lessons. The real meat and potatoes of any journey. The lessons I will always carry with me for the rest of my life. The lessons from sheep year will always stay with me and I can always look back and go "ah yeah, I tried this already and I did or did not work for me." Building blocks. Last year I started on the ground. Today I start a few feet higher than last year.
I had numerous struggles and numerous ah yeah moments in the sheep. The sheep year, for me, has been one of the best years of my life. It's an incredibly close second on my first year sober. There where times where I wanted to burn things to the ground and yell out a war cry. You know, put on the war paint and run around town just ruining everyone's day! There where also many times where I felt on top of a mountain and screamed out a war cry, looking up into the clouds, I'm coming for you next Zeus. Dodging lighting bolts and moving in for the final strike. Pounding my chest like a scene from King Kong. Swatting at planes like they are mosquitoes. Making the gods themselves second guess their existence in this world. Actually, that's how I feel today. King fricken Kong. King Kong with escrima sticks and the spirit of the great dragon. Except this year, I hope to not fall from the Empire State Building. I wish to jump from that one to a taller building. Or maybe I'm gonna tear that building down and body slam it not into the street. Oh no. Right through the street into the underworld. Right onto whatever god's head that runs the underworld.
Yeah that's right. Will's back. Finally! I feel like myself. But, I'm different. Different in so many ways. New vocabulary. New mindset. New goals. And new friends. Being a loner my whole life. It's weird having people I can call friends. Real weird. Thursday night I went out of my way to meet new people. That was weird. But it felt great. Last night I went out of my way to meet more new people. Awesome.
Earlier in the week, I was feeling pretty down about myself. So, I leaned hard on someone I consider more than a friend. A bff. Hahaha. A bff! That's funny. But, seriously, I needed help and I asked for it. He gave me great ideas and suggestions for getting a plan together and working that plan. So today, on our "day off" I'm decorating my garage/training hall. I'm going to get a schedule stapled to the wall. This is what I'm working on on moday, then on Tuesday. And really and truly focus on today and today alone. I got so confused and mixed up looking towards the end of the goals that I ruined or completely missed parts of the learning experience. And thus, created a lot of resentments. Knowingly or not, it's not cool. That's okay though. I had to go there to learn the lessons again. It's like hitting head on a wall, and , eventually I will break through that wall. A constant re-occurring theme for me. The only excuse I have for myself is laziness. Of course life is going to throw curve balls and try to take out my knees. That's where I need to counter with a check kick and a flying roundhouse. How you like them apples life? You didn't get me this time!!
One goal, that needs to happen is my smoking addiction. The addiction, I'm okay with. I have come to terms with it. It's the habits that are in there. For example. I have a snack or a meal, boom, time to smoke. Or, I sit idle for a mere moment, boom time to smoke. My hands get twitchy, time to smoke. Last year, I focused on the awareness of my habits and wow, there are so many, that just pop up or appear. Twenty years of this poison and habit, that so much is just built into myself. I have been starting to focus on what happens when I do smoke. What happens to my lungs, throat heart and brain. It honestly makes my body sick. But that mind, man oh man, that mind. I can feel the end of smoking and I run from it. I create all sorts of excuses and reasons as to why I should not quit, that I defeat myself. And that, my friends, is infuriating. So, I'm going to the doctor to get some pills. I honestly detest pills. I will use the word hate there. I do hate taking pills. I have spoken to lots of people about the addictiveness of these pills and they have all assured me, they are not addictive. And I think, yeah well, I couldn't stop taking Advil, because I liked the feeling it gave me so much. And Advil isn't supposed to be addictive at all. From what I understand. So, to heck with it and my ego. Get the pills, follow the directions and really focus on not taking four or five at a time. You are like what? Really. Advil and smoking aids scare you because of addictive nature. Heck yeah. I get addicted to almost anything I don't want to. And it's my addictive nature not the pills. I got addicted to oxy's after only a few pills. I smashed my thumb with a sledgehammer and three weeks later, I NEEDED more! Now! Gimme them pills before I take them from you!! So again, I need to look inside and change what is going on inside. Change my perspective, my outlook, whatever I want to call it. But change needs to happen before smoking goes away!
Okay well, before I head out, congrats to everyone. The new black belts, the new higher ranking black belts and to everyone else. You guys are all my inspiration and I greatly thank everyone for your example and your awesomeness. Hopefully one day, I can be as awesome as all of you.
Well, that all for now folks.
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Shutting the door on sheep does mean, I no longer feel bad or hard on myself for falling short on so many of my goals. But it also means I no longer have to worry about those goals. They are not looming over me and crushing my heart and destroying my mind. With that being said, the lessons. The real meat and potatoes of any journey. The lessons I will always carry with me for the rest of my life. The lessons from sheep year will always stay with me and I can always look back and go "ah yeah, I tried this already and I did or did not work for me." Building blocks. Last year I started on the ground. Today I start a few feet higher than last year.
I had numerous struggles and numerous ah yeah moments in the sheep. The sheep year, for me, has been one of the best years of my life. It's an incredibly close second on my first year sober. There where times where I wanted to burn things to the ground and yell out a war cry. You know, put on the war paint and run around town just ruining everyone's day! There where also many times where I felt on top of a mountain and screamed out a war cry, looking up into the clouds, I'm coming for you next Zeus. Dodging lighting bolts and moving in for the final strike. Pounding my chest like a scene from King Kong. Swatting at planes like they are mosquitoes. Making the gods themselves second guess their existence in this world. Actually, that's how I feel today. King fricken Kong. King Kong with escrima sticks and the spirit of the great dragon. Except this year, I hope to not fall from the Empire State Building. I wish to jump from that one to a taller building. Or maybe I'm gonna tear that building down and body slam it not into the street. Oh no. Right through the street into the underworld. Right onto whatever god's head that runs the underworld.
Yeah that's right. Will's back. Finally! I feel like myself. But, I'm different. Different in so many ways. New vocabulary. New mindset. New goals. And new friends. Being a loner my whole life. It's weird having people I can call friends. Real weird. Thursday night I went out of my way to meet new people. That was weird. But it felt great. Last night I went out of my way to meet more new people. Awesome.
Earlier in the week, I was feeling pretty down about myself. So, I leaned hard on someone I consider more than a friend. A bff. Hahaha. A bff! That's funny. But, seriously, I needed help and I asked for it. He gave me great ideas and suggestions for getting a plan together and working that plan. So today, on our "day off" I'm decorating my garage/training hall. I'm going to get a schedule stapled to the wall. This is what I'm working on on moday, then on Tuesday. And really and truly focus on today and today alone. I got so confused and mixed up looking towards the end of the goals that I ruined or completely missed parts of the learning experience. And thus, created a lot of resentments. Knowingly or not, it's not cool. That's okay though. I had to go there to learn the lessons again. It's like hitting head on a wall, and , eventually I will break through that wall. A constant re-occurring theme for me. The only excuse I have for myself is laziness. Of course life is going to throw curve balls and try to take out my knees. That's where I need to counter with a check kick and a flying roundhouse. How you like them apples life? You didn't get me this time!!
One goal, that needs to happen is my smoking addiction. The addiction, I'm okay with. I have come to terms with it. It's the habits that are in there. For example. I have a snack or a meal, boom, time to smoke. Or, I sit idle for a mere moment, boom time to smoke. My hands get twitchy, time to smoke. Last year, I focused on the awareness of my habits and wow, there are so many, that just pop up or appear. Twenty years of this poison and habit, that so much is just built into myself. I have been starting to focus on what happens when I do smoke. What happens to my lungs, throat heart and brain. It honestly makes my body sick. But that mind, man oh man, that mind. I can feel the end of smoking and I run from it. I create all sorts of excuses and reasons as to why I should not quit, that I defeat myself. And that, my friends, is infuriating. So, I'm going to the doctor to get some pills. I honestly detest pills. I will use the word hate there. I do hate taking pills. I have spoken to lots of people about the addictiveness of these pills and they have all assured me, they are not addictive. And I think, yeah well, I couldn't stop taking Advil, because I liked the feeling it gave me so much. And Advil isn't supposed to be addictive at all. From what I understand. So, to heck with it and my ego. Get the pills, follow the directions and really focus on not taking four or five at a time. You are like what? Really. Advil and smoking aids scare you because of addictive nature. Heck yeah. I get addicted to almost anything I don't want to. And it's my addictive nature not the pills. I got addicted to oxy's after only a few pills. I smashed my thumb with a sledgehammer and three weeks later, I NEEDED more! Now! Gimme them pills before I take them from you!! So again, I need to look inside and change what is going on inside. Change my perspective, my outlook, whatever I want to call it. But change needs to happen before smoking goes away!
Okay well, before I head out, congrats to everyone. The new black belts, the new higher ranking black belts and to everyone else. You guys are all my inspiration and I greatly thank everyone for your example and your awesomeness. Hopefully one day, I can be as awesome as all of you.
Well, that all for now folks.
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Monday, 15 February 2016
Waking up or re-learning?
Good morning to all. Shaping up to be a beaut of a day, that's indeed. What a week it has been. Full of all sorts of good stuff. I'm really not too sure on where to begin today, so I'll start right here. Works was work. Laid a bunch of decking and got to know another fellow. On Saturday this fellow comes up to me and says "I'm going through what that guys going through." Yup just like that. Right out of the blue, not expecting that at all. So I'm like, what? And he go s onto to telling me how he's having a heck of a time staying sober. So I tell him a bit about myself and ask him a few questions us alcoholics know to ask. Boom just like that, he and I have built a solid base for a relationship. He seemed really intrigued and sincere. So, on Tuesday, when we meet again, I will find out just how serious he wants to take life. After we spoke I looked up to the big guy and said thanks. See, I was really questing why, I was even at work. So I can keep this job and so I can make great cash, but that's it. When I get to this point, I want to move on to another gig or just change things up. But, that conversation that I had at two in the afternoon was the reason I was at work for the day. He needed to talk to me, and I to him. I needed to remember what it was like coming in for the first time,and he needed to hear he was not alone anymore. Changed my perspective of the day completely. I went from a grumpy Gus to a helpful Henry. And the hope in that mans eyes...made it all worth it. When I approach another individual who has the same problem as I do, I have noticed there is quite the process that goes on inside of me. Ah the old awareness lesson again. I go from wanting to drop everything and help this man, to got to introduce myself to, I need to open up a bit and tell him my story, to, that sounds like a lot of work and I don't know if I want to, to ahh screw it here goes nothing. And every emotion wanting to run wild. Kind of stressful. But awareness of who I am, where I am and what am I doing takes control and I breath and carry on with a friend in need. It feels great to help out a friend in need.
Awareness. This has been my greatest asset, when used appropriately. I'm not the best at it, but, it's coming. Sometimes I forget everything I have learnt in Kung fu and just bull through my day, and at the end of my day I am whipped. Tired right out. But, if I stay on top of where am I and what am I doing, I can breath, I can calm down and be cool. My outside programs gave me a life worth living again. It gave me the strength and humility to rebuild my life. Kung fu, I Ho Chuan, in particular gives me a purpose to this new life of mine. I had this thought the other day. Kung fu gave my punches a purpose. In order to maintain that purpose I need to learn my intentions. My intentions teach me my motives for the day. My motives teach me who I am being for the day.
So onward and skyward with my goals. This first week of monkey has been tougher than I thought. I figured, boy, I will just make these changes on this date and that will be that. Umm, nope. Not at all. I have not been able to wake up at four to get some early morning training in. The body is fighting hard. Or maybe I'm allowing excuses to stand strong. The oh, I'm tired excuse. I'm tired of hearing that excuse to be honest with you. Kind of pisses me off. But, right now, it is the best time to get training in and start the day off right. So, I will keep pushing hard. Thankfully, the escrima sticks are flying now. I have a great base to start with, thanks for the input Sihing. Friday I got to class early and was fortunate enough to get his help and input. A huge esteem builder there. Sure I am creating my own form and its "mine" but I need help. Making sure it doesn't suck, making sure I'm not just flailing about, so those quick conversations really do help. "You have a great base, now work on the individual techniques, then the flow, then it will be awesome." Okay I can do that. Again the power of asking for help. Such a powerful tool. I'm really liking this asking for help thing. I did it a wee bit, last year, and this year I plan on doing it more than i am comfortable with. When I think I got this, I better be asking for help. That I got this attitude kicked the crap out of me last year. My ego flourished and I in a sense walked away from the team. It's just how I feel. Poisonous thought process for this cat right here. But that was last year, not this year. Build from my failures. Our masters have failed more times than we have ever tried, so keep trying.
The hand form I am working on is, well, tougher than I thought. But it is a great challenge. Truly I feel this is exactly what I am to be doing right now. I'm basing this form on the mighty dragon. Only one direction and smash. I am stumped a few of the movements I have picked. Like a sweep kick. I want to open with a sweep kick and I was told, a true sweep kick is drop and sweep, for some reason, I can't just drop without a backwards movement. So, I will be asking for help next chance I get. It will come, I know it, I just need to keep moving forward. Kung fu, in a lot of places, has come fairly easy for me. So when a wrench is thrown in there and things get tough, that's when we find out just who we really are. Haha. Great stuff people, great stuff
So far though, monkey has been a treat. I did some reader has on just what can be in store for the year of the monkey and it's supposed to be a very fruitful year for those whom work towards goals. Monkey is supposed to be a very powerful year and I believe it will be. We have a team of very strong like-minded people, who just want to be the best that they can be. And we will be awesome I know it. I haven't made it to a class yet, but I will. I believe I have someone to cover for me at the meeting on Thursday night, I really hope this guy can cover for me. These last few weeks I have been the only group member to open the hall and put on coffee and shovel the walks and lead the meeting. Which is fine, I really don't mind. It's a great reminder of where I started and who I am. Something I can not ever forget.
"Don't fear failure. Not failure, but low aim is the true crime. In great attempts, it is glorious even to fail." -Bruce Lee
Well, teamers, I figure that's all for now. I look forward to seeing everyone soon.
Have a great family day
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Awareness. This has been my greatest asset, when used appropriately. I'm not the best at it, but, it's coming. Sometimes I forget everything I have learnt in Kung fu and just bull through my day, and at the end of my day I am whipped. Tired right out. But, if I stay on top of where am I and what am I doing, I can breath, I can calm down and be cool. My outside programs gave me a life worth living again. It gave me the strength and humility to rebuild my life. Kung fu, I Ho Chuan, in particular gives me a purpose to this new life of mine. I had this thought the other day. Kung fu gave my punches a purpose. In order to maintain that purpose I need to learn my intentions. My intentions teach me my motives for the day. My motives teach me who I am being for the day.
So onward and skyward with my goals. This first week of monkey has been tougher than I thought. I figured, boy, I will just make these changes on this date and that will be that. Umm, nope. Not at all. I have not been able to wake up at four to get some early morning training in. The body is fighting hard. Or maybe I'm allowing excuses to stand strong. The oh, I'm tired excuse. I'm tired of hearing that excuse to be honest with you. Kind of pisses me off. But, right now, it is the best time to get training in and start the day off right. So, I will keep pushing hard. Thankfully, the escrima sticks are flying now. I have a great base to start with, thanks for the input Sihing. Friday I got to class early and was fortunate enough to get his help and input. A huge esteem builder there. Sure I am creating my own form and its "mine" but I need help. Making sure it doesn't suck, making sure I'm not just flailing about, so those quick conversations really do help. "You have a great base, now work on the individual techniques, then the flow, then it will be awesome." Okay I can do that. Again the power of asking for help. Such a powerful tool. I'm really liking this asking for help thing. I did it a wee bit, last year, and this year I plan on doing it more than i am comfortable with. When I think I got this, I better be asking for help. That I got this attitude kicked the crap out of me last year. My ego flourished and I in a sense walked away from the team. It's just how I feel. Poisonous thought process for this cat right here. But that was last year, not this year. Build from my failures. Our masters have failed more times than we have ever tried, so keep trying.
The hand form I am working on is, well, tougher than I thought. But it is a great challenge. Truly I feel this is exactly what I am to be doing right now. I'm basing this form on the mighty dragon. Only one direction and smash. I am stumped a few of the movements I have picked. Like a sweep kick. I want to open with a sweep kick and I was told, a true sweep kick is drop and sweep, for some reason, I can't just drop without a backwards movement. So, I will be asking for help next chance I get. It will come, I know it, I just need to keep moving forward. Kung fu, in a lot of places, has come fairly easy for me. So when a wrench is thrown in there and things get tough, that's when we find out just who we really are. Haha. Great stuff people, great stuff
So far though, monkey has been a treat. I did some reader has on just what can be in store for the year of the monkey and it's supposed to be a very fruitful year for those whom work towards goals. Monkey is supposed to be a very powerful year and I believe it will be. We have a team of very strong like-minded people, who just want to be the best that they can be. And we will be awesome I know it. I haven't made it to a class yet, but I will. I believe I have someone to cover for me at the meeting on Thursday night, I really hope this guy can cover for me. These last few weeks I have been the only group member to open the hall and put on coffee and shovel the walks and lead the meeting. Which is fine, I really don't mind. It's a great reminder of where I started and who I am. Something I can not ever forget.
"Don't fear failure. Not failure, but low aim is the true crime. In great attempts, it is glorious even to fail." -Bruce Lee
Well, teamers, I figure that's all for now. I look forward to seeing everyone soon.
Have a great family day
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Sunday, 7 February 2016
And Now For Monkey
Good sunday to you! what a beautiful day so far. Well, tomorrow the year of the monkey comes alive. And so, new goals and challenges to look forward to. Sheep was a fantastic journey to say the least. This year of the monkey, I have tools from experience to work with. Today, I feel really good about moving into this next year. I have learnt so much about using my time appropriately and the value of a schedule. Writing things down or reminder notes. All sorts of new tools to use in this next year. And there are things I am doing again, that I so very much enjoyed in the past. Like building up and dreaming up a new form. I really enjoy that part. Oh, I like practicing the form and making it look sweet as well, but the creative initial build up is just a whole lot of fun. So, the escrima has been a real challenge thus far. Friday night, I had a break through, with lots of help from Sifu. He showed some of the basics and gave me some things to work and play with. Awesome. I asked another sifu for more help and she was happy to help. and I was like awesome! This is a great night. When I got home, I thought, man, I better have something to work with. Ten minutes later there appears the very beginnings of a new form!! Fantastic.
Another very valuable tool in our tool box. The value of asking for help. When I get my fat ego out of the way, asking for help is so easy. When I figure I got this, is really when I need the most help. My mind, it likes to lie to me, saying things like nope I don't need nothing from no one. Even though the spirit is like, whoa, that's not right. haha, then I'm arguing with myself again. Its amusing today. Like, arguing with myself. It used to be terribly aggravating. Today, its mostly an amusement. I don't do it nearly as much today as I did one year ago, so, its not so much of a bother today. Learning to find peace inside of me. That's really special to me.
I have a book now, specifically for forms and techniques. I'm going to make a honest effort to write or sketch in there every day. Staying engaged through writing and creating again. That was huge for me in the beginning of last year. And I see the value and I can, again, implement that right there.
For me, the date as silly as it is, means I can close the door on almost everything from last year. Not forget, just straight up move on. Take the lessons and gifts I got, and keep moving forward. For some reason, today is like a breath of fresh air. Its the "new goals, new days" thought running in the head now. I am excited about my new goals moving forwards. Lots of room for adaptation and changing things up. Looking back, the stick form took all year to get to where it is at now. It could have come sooner if i keep taking notes on it. Far more speed bumps and slow downs when I wasn't taking notes on the stick. So, moving forwards, the escrima sticks, I realize, will take me all year to put together. So, I don't have to be so hard on myself, when I do hit wall, just trust the system and keep doing my part. Keeping the book close and opening it up and reading and sketching when I draw a blank or pull a "I don't want to". Always something going on up there. Just continue to put onto paper.
I am looking forward to push ups and sit ups as sadistic as that sounds. But, like was said on Saturday, learning to squeeze an extra effort here and there thorough my day is the real challenge. And again the topic of time management. Mindfulness of where am I, what am I doing? Small increments. The little things do add up. Add up to something awesome.
I am really excited for the new years celebration. Its going to be epic. Yeah. Great Scott that's exciting. I really have to make sure my form is polished and shiny. All of our hard work and determination comes down to the celebration. I'm really excited for this day. I honestly can not wait to see everything put together. makes me all excited to think about. The biggest thing is to remember to enjoy the night and have some fun. Something that was pointed out. Maybe I should smile a little more Have a little more fun. Remember that's a big reason why I do kung fu. Because I enjoy it. Because its fulfilling and so much fun. Thanks for that reminder Sifu. Thumbs up! With big ol' smiles! Another gift in I Ho Chuan. The team. Everyone here is extraordinary and has something awesome to teach that is unique to themselves. That's good stuff man. I'm still learning that lesson. But its progressive to what it was a year ago. Good stuff.
Well, I fear I am rambling, yet again, so I will say Good day to you!
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan
Another very valuable tool in our tool box. The value of asking for help. When I get my fat ego out of the way, asking for help is so easy. When I figure I got this, is really when I need the most help. My mind, it likes to lie to me, saying things like nope I don't need nothing from no one. Even though the spirit is like, whoa, that's not right. haha, then I'm arguing with myself again. Its amusing today. Like, arguing with myself. It used to be terribly aggravating. Today, its mostly an amusement. I don't do it nearly as much today as I did one year ago, so, its not so much of a bother today. Learning to find peace inside of me. That's really special to me.
I have a book now, specifically for forms and techniques. I'm going to make a honest effort to write or sketch in there every day. Staying engaged through writing and creating again. That was huge for me in the beginning of last year. And I see the value and I can, again, implement that right there.
For me, the date as silly as it is, means I can close the door on almost everything from last year. Not forget, just straight up move on. Take the lessons and gifts I got, and keep moving forward. For some reason, today is like a breath of fresh air. Its the "new goals, new days" thought running in the head now. I am excited about my new goals moving forwards. Lots of room for adaptation and changing things up. Looking back, the stick form took all year to get to where it is at now. It could have come sooner if i keep taking notes on it. Far more speed bumps and slow downs when I wasn't taking notes on the stick. So, moving forwards, the escrima sticks, I realize, will take me all year to put together. So, I don't have to be so hard on myself, when I do hit wall, just trust the system and keep doing my part. Keeping the book close and opening it up and reading and sketching when I draw a blank or pull a "I don't want to". Always something going on up there. Just continue to put onto paper.
I am looking forward to push ups and sit ups as sadistic as that sounds. But, like was said on Saturday, learning to squeeze an extra effort here and there thorough my day is the real challenge. And again the topic of time management. Mindfulness of where am I, what am I doing? Small increments. The little things do add up. Add up to something awesome.
I am really excited for the new years celebration. Its going to be epic. Yeah. Great Scott that's exciting. I really have to make sure my form is polished and shiny. All of our hard work and determination comes down to the celebration. I'm really excited for this day. I honestly can not wait to see everything put together. makes me all excited to think about. The biggest thing is to remember to enjoy the night and have some fun. Something that was pointed out. Maybe I should smile a little more Have a little more fun. Remember that's a big reason why I do kung fu. Because I enjoy it. Because its fulfilling and so much fun. Thanks for that reminder Sifu. Thumbs up! With big ol' smiles! Another gift in I Ho Chuan. The team. Everyone here is extraordinary and has something awesome to teach that is unique to themselves. That's good stuff man. I'm still learning that lesson. But its progressive to what it was a year ago. Good stuff.
Well, I fear I am rambling, yet again, so I will say Good day to you!
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan
Monday, 1 February 2016
A Short Review
Hello everyone. Its late and it is a great night. Class was lots of fun. Continuing on our take downs and grappeling skills. It was lots of fun. So, a wrap up on the year that was had. Where does a guy start? It has been wow. What a ride! Ups and downs, and everything in between. Lots of struggles and stress. Looking back, I have done things in the year past, that I would have never done before, and have not done since. Like having people out in Alberta Beach for a demo and bbq. You know, that was wicked. I was so out of my element, but, was so happy the demo worked out as well as it did. This next year I would like to do the same. No not the same. Better. Better than last year! Yeah! That's the ticket.
Push ups and sit ups. How I loath you. (insert fist shaking and muttering) No I did not hit The objective goal of 50 000. I did, however, do 22000 and 20000, respectively. Nope, not very many indeed. But that is 22000 and 20000 more than I have ever done in my life thus far. So actually, I feel its a success. A good day. I stopped taking notes and recording numbers on nov 17. Yup last entry. I know, right. Holy that's a long time ago. I have done a fair numbers since, but, it would be a random guess at best at this point. Stick I have accomplished 619 and kempo 300 times. aok's I smashed with 1100. Good stuff. They are not the best, nor the worst numbers. For, I have never seen numbers like this before. I have a great starting place for next year. Yes, I am disappointed myself, in one sense, for not hitting all those benchmarks, but the other sense of wow, I just did all that. I did all that up there. Cool beans.
On paper, I did not accomplish much, in my mind...leaps and bounds, people. I honestly found the rest of my success's in my mind and soul. Sometimes I do not catch myself in time and I say stuff. Maybe things I should not maybe I should say them. Hahaha. Sometimes I say everything all at once. I am starting to see "the that's not appropriate" thing people always talk about. Ha. Right? I think its funny, but I am learning. But, with saying that, I learnt to see things through others eyes. I honestly tried to do this "empathy" That was an eye opener. How would you like that? Ran through my mind constantly, when about to embark on a journey of verbal destruction! Learning to breath and take a second has really been powerful for me. Learning to not speak, has been even better. I am a slow learner some days, an learning is hard business, some days. But I am learning and that's always good.
This journey has been far more than just numbers though. What a life changing program I Ho Chuan is. For all of the values and morals I have picked up along the way, I wouldn't change this year for nothing, man. What a time, it has been. Comfort zones smashed along with those pesky little demons that just never want to leave. Its alright though. For all the work I have put in, I get some amazing gifts. Like kido. I haven't seen this kid in ten years, then bam, here she is, game changer! Holy wow. How do you not pee yourself just out of excitement of that one? So, it turns out the best place to hang out is the kwoon. Safe for all about. Friday night at the kwoon. I enjoy what little time I get with her, maybe she is bored outta her tree? She says she enjoys so hopefully, we can continue to do that. I got to build this relationship on her terms. Remember I was the dirtbag. Not anymore, though. I am so much better than that, now. Slowly I will continue to show what an evolution of the man she and her brothers know as their dad. I have changed and will continue to do so. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Things will always materialize, if we work for them.
For me, I cant stress, the significance that this program has brought to me and my families life has been un-surmountable. I can not stress how grateful I am for the I.H.C. program and its teachers. excitement runs through my veins when I get going on this topic. Im really looking forward to next years team and journey. Maybe a little calmer? Eh, yeah? This is going to be another epic year.
In any event, the screen is getting fuzy, and I am growing tired.
Thanks for your time
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Push ups and sit ups. How I loath you. (insert fist shaking and muttering) No I did not hit The objective goal of 50 000. I did, however, do 22000 and 20000, respectively. Nope, not very many indeed. But that is 22000 and 20000 more than I have ever done in my life thus far. So actually, I feel its a success. A good day. I stopped taking notes and recording numbers on nov 17. Yup last entry. I know, right. Holy that's a long time ago. I have done a fair numbers since, but, it would be a random guess at best at this point. Stick I have accomplished 619 and kempo 300 times. aok's I smashed with 1100. Good stuff. They are not the best, nor the worst numbers. For, I have never seen numbers like this before. I have a great starting place for next year. Yes, I am disappointed myself, in one sense, for not hitting all those benchmarks, but the other sense of wow, I just did all that. I did all that up there. Cool beans.
On paper, I did not accomplish much, in my mind...leaps and bounds, people. I honestly found the rest of my success's in my mind and soul. Sometimes I do not catch myself in time and I say stuff. Maybe things I should not maybe I should say them. Hahaha. Sometimes I say everything all at once. I am starting to see "the that's not appropriate" thing people always talk about. Ha. Right? I think its funny, but I am learning. But, with saying that, I learnt to see things through others eyes. I honestly tried to do this "empathy" That was an eye opener. How would you like that? Ran through my mind constantly, when about to embark on a journey of verbal destruction! Learning to breath and take a second has really been powerful for me. Learning to not speak, has been even better. I am a slow learner some days, an learning is hard business, some days. But I am learning and that's always good.
This journey has been far more than just numbers though. What a life changing program I Ho Chuan is. For all of the values and morals I have picked up along the way, I wouldn't change this year for nothing, man. What a time, it has been. Comfort zones smashed along with those pesky little demons that just never want to leave. Its alright though. For all the work I have put in, I get some amazing gifts. Like kido. I haven't seen this kid in ten years, then bam, here she is, game changer! Holy wow. How do you not pee yourself just out of excitement of that one? So, it turns out the best place to hang out is the kwoon. Safe for all about. Friday night at the kwoon. I enjoy what little time I get with her, maybe she is bored outta her tree? She says she enjoys so hopefully, we can continue to do that. I got to build this relationship on her terms. Remember I was the dirtbag. Not anymore, though. I am so much better than that, now. Slowly I will continue to show what an evolution of the man she and her brothers know as their dad. I have changed and will continue to do so. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Things will always materialize, if we work for them.
For me, I cant stress, the significance that this program has brought to me and my families life has been un-surmountable. I can not stress how grateful I am for the I.H.C. program and its teachers. excitement runs through my veins when I get going on this topic. Im really looking forward to next years team and journey. Maybe a little calmer? Eh, yeah? This is going to be another epic year.
In any event, the screen is getting fuzy, and I am growing tired.
Thanks for your time
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)