Re-affirming

Good Sunday to everyone. Heck of a storm we had last night. Too bad I was sleeping. I really do love thunder showers. In any event, It is hard to believe that it is the end of may already. Kind of mind blowing. Yesterday, I had taken the day to just relax. Something I have not been able to do in a few weeks now and it was wonderful. I seriously, laid on the couch and watched the Daredevil on Netflix. Fantastic show. I really enjoyed the show. The people who made the show really did stick close to the comic book, which is really cool. Producers do not do that much and it ruins the film or the show. Growing up, I had quite the collection of comics as a kid. daredevil, punisher, I like the darker characters. A little more my style.
   So, with this month wrapping up, I feel good about I Ho Chaun so far. Seriously, I have made progress in the non-physical aspects in this challenge. Things that I knew I could do, but never really tried to do. As in, working with like 14 kids, or not erupting all over someone, when my life and welfare are endangered by someone's negligence. The physical aspect of I Ho Chaun, will continue to get better I am sure of it. I am recommitted. Yesterday was a fantastic breather and I now look forward to smashing my way through June. June has made me mad, so I am going to break it!! Yesterday, I took some time to re-read some of my old blogs, and that was nice. I could feel myself getting ramped up. Using those old words to reaffirm myself in this challenge. So I look forward to continuing to push myself on a daily level. In fact I was adding up my numbers this morning and made a commitment to myself, just this morning. This week I will break 1000 push ups and sit-ups. That will happen. I looked at my numbers from the first few weeks and saw the numbers I was producing and said, I am going to do that again. I am taking this challenge back and smashing it into the ground and then stand on top triumphantly.
   These last few weeks was a host of all sorts of emotions, deep valleys and really high mountain tops. But I survived. Like I have said before I have learnt a lot about myself, I am really happy that everything worked out the way it did. I had to almost completely dis-engage from kung-fu, in order to be the father/husband, I was needed to be. Where I feel I grew the most was not being a jerk, when I was needed to be supportive. Being there for the family, not doing what I want and then being ignorant about helping. That was a pattern I wanted to break, but was not sure on how, until opportunity arose. I do believe I broke that cycle and started a new one. Fantastic.
   So we have a parade and demo coming up in less than a week. I know I can be ready by ensuring my form is at peak. And I will get it there. I do actually want to get in front of strangers and show them just how cool, kung fu and everything it entails really is. As for being in the parade, I do hope to get a chance in the lions, but, also, if I am needed to wrangle children or if I can not be in a lion, then so be it. My part is to support in any and every way possible. I did start to wander away from the group in the last few weeks. And to be honest the accident and caring for my family, gave me the reason to do so. That is a dangerous place to go. Slowly, dis-attaching myself, leads to dark and lonely places in my mind. Dark lonely places, lead me to dis-like people. Dis-liking people leads me to building resentments towards you and others. Resentments lead me to no longer trying to grow and change, and thus I start dying again. Shudder shudder!! Yuk! No thanks. Now, that I have tasted the good life, I no longer desire my old life. I desire what ever new path that will be set forth in front of me.
   I was talking with a good friend of mine earlier in the week. I asked him about these feeling of "Meh" The feelings that help you dis-engage. The feeling of mediocre keep flooding my mind. "Doing okay, is good enough" You know the thoughts. I knew right away that, feelings like that, just are not for me any more. So I want to be rid of thoughts and feelings. So his advice to me was that,  I should find what I am grateful for. Once I know what I am grateful for, strive to be a better person, to further grasp that feeling of gratefulness on those said items. For example, I am grateful for not having to drink today, because of a group of people who helped and loved me un-conditionally. I will strive harder out of gratefulness. To prove I was worth their time. To show others that this does work, if we work for it.  I will do better, I will strive harder, I will push like I pushed in those first few months in sobriety. Man, I fought like hell, to not drink for those first few hundred one day at a time moments, and now, I am going to start fighting like hell for my kung fu. Today, I do not see much of a difference in not drinking and doing my kung fu. Both are exceptionally good for me. And if I quit doing both items, I die.  There is no more going backwards. Backwards is not the direction I want to go. Nor, will I. Not today and not tomorrow. There is only growth my friends. Growth in the mind the body and the spirit.


Speaking of which, time to go do push-ups, and sit-ups!! Hahaha!
Thanks for your time
Humbly yours,
Mr.Duncan