Another "Crazy" Week

   Good Sunday everyone. I see the mini donut guy is just getting set up, so we have some time! So lets get to it shall we. Oh boy oh boy where do I start? This week was full of ups and downs. My temper flared like it hasn't in a long time. And I had reached a new level of awesomeness in a program I work in my spare time.
    So I will start here, I guess. Work has been really bothering me lately. it isn't the heights or the type of work that I am doing. See I am an ironworker. One of the top dogs of the jobsite, you have no argument. There is very little that I will not do in order to be the best ironworker around. Yes mastery has reached well into my career. I will not accept average, typical jerk me around attitudes anymore. I call out people and their b.s. when it gets too thick. I especially hate being lied to. You want to loose me on a job, start amusing me. I dare you. tell me exactly what I want to hear. I walk at that point now. I carry no loyalty to any company. In fact, I cannot express how I truly feel about companies and how they take advantage of their workers, here on this blog, because I do not have the vocabulary to do it, without spewing hate everywhere. But on this job in particular, we are going outside of the workscope of an ironworker. We are doing a lot of rope access and positioning. which, is really cool, but, it is out of my work scope. We, as a crew, have been asking very nicely for six weeks for training. Then these retards hire, this retard as my new partner. Well, as soon as I looked at this "child" I was furious. I straight up told him, he is not an ironworker. Your too soft.  But, I carried on. Started to teach this guy what I know about ropes and knots and hitches. Then it hit me like a sledgehammer in the teeth. I don't know if I am or should be teaching this guy anything because of my own lack of training. Now, with the only guy who has more that two weeks of experience of rope work going on vacation, I wondered, where is my fricken training? At this point, I refuse to take this wannabe ironworker over the edge and place my life in his hands. Especially, once I saw how he reacted to the edge and the sheer drop off.  Now, I need to pause for a second. This is no office building job, where I can stick him in the mail room when he makes messes up. It is not a place to laugh and say, hahaha, maybe next time you wont drop your spud wrench and send it through somebodies fricken skull. There is no next time for us. Our tools will kill if something is unleashed. People die when we make mistakes. So, I have to put all my trust into my partner. My life and others. If I cannot do that, or I feel reserved about my partner, I usually push forward and keep a very close eye on things. But this guy, can go back to whatever hole in the ground he came from. I expressed my frustrations about everything with my boss. He says, you know what your gonna do about your training and your new partner? Nothing. You don't need training. You will be fine. Well, Willie exploded all over the map. The end result was I cleaned off my belt and walked off site, on my own accord. Do not jerk me off, I warned him. I got the call, form the field supervisor about an hour later. Asking and pleading me to go back. It will be different, this time. We will get you trained, this time. So I asked him a very simple question. How sick is it, that someone has to do something drasrtic, like quit and have a melt down all over the place, before change happens. How come it has taken six weeks and we still have not been trained? Answer me that. And he laughed and agreed with me. Yup, its absurd, he tells me. Hmm, you missed the point, I responded. The conversation got real quit. So, I did swallow another load of crap and I will go back to the job Monday morn. Any lip service or b.s. from here on out and I am done. Thursday I spoke to two people about this. One offered great conversation and the other offered a job. I will decide in the next week or two what is going to happen for the rest of my summer.


    On the complete polar opposite of the coin, I have been working with this fellow, working the program. That experience was amazing. I cannot get into the details too much, but in essence, we tore his past apart, singular event by singular event and looked at his part in everything. He was kind of depressed about it. I mean, people can do some really crappy stuff when using and abusing. But, I had to remind him that this is who you where, not who you are. No more do you have to haunted by these demons. No more do they have power over you. I promised him, if he was thorough and honest from the very beginning, he gets to kick his demons right in the mouth. All day long. I have been on the tearing apart end, never on the guiding through the work part. and what an experience. To watch someone, who came to me hunched over and embarrassed and holding onto secrets; to walking tall and looking me and the world in the eyes, is a phenomenal experience. I love seeing people win and gosh darn it, he just won!! And I reminded him that from here on out, your past no longer matters. That is what you did, it no longer defines you. No longer can these secrets hold you back. That's a big pill to swallow but, once embraced its an amazing experience. From here, we try to show and uphold the principles we learn and apply them to our daily lives. Being kind and aware of our words and actions is our top priority. If we have accomplished nothing in the day, except for a few positive words about others, that is a victory for the day. Have faith and just believe you are worth every moment of this I told him. You have suffered enough. No more is needed. Time to enjoy yourself. And he is. we text all day and he constantly expresses his gratitude for living. and that stuff right there, just fires me right up. I want to go stand on top of a mountain and start setting off avalanches with my war cries!!!


     Kung Fu was good this week. But, really, when is kung fu not good?  Numbers varied again and most noticeably was my A.O.K. I was in such a insane mood this week, that I really did not step out of my comfort zone to help or be positive towards anybody. I was very busy internalising things. I needed to shut people out, so, I could sort myself out. Otherwise, I will just hurt people's feelings. Friday night was another decent night working with the dragon and doing that demo. I was informed that I would be able to stick to the tail of the dragon. Sifu decided, that I would do best there. Cool I said. He completely took me off guard, but I am glad that he asked me to do the tail. Its a lot of fun. I really do enjoy it. Even being whipped around!! That will get better, just need to continue practicing. And furthermore, what a cool opportunity. How many people on this earth have the chance to do things like dragon dancing, or lion dancing. Very very few. I would like to guess, less than one percent of the population. This is going to be so cool. I am fricken dragon tail!!! I always wanted to be a dragon. This is not what I had in my mind when I was going to be a dragon, but now, I don't want to go through with the weird surgeries and stuff. I can just hold a pole. Almost the same. Hahaha. I am quite enjoying working with Sifu T.Playter. I got to work with her last summer and forgot at how much fun she is to learn from. She will stop the group to ensure the one student is understanding the work she is asking from us. From a student perspective, that shows she really does care about us doing well. That's awesome. Woot woot.


    Finally, I went to a golf tournament on Saturday. That kind of sucked. I had a great time being with my wife, in what little nature is left on a gold course. Getting lost in the moment was real easy. There was so much sitting and waiting and doing nothing, that I got a couple of five min naps in. Found all sorts of golf balls, but I just could not help but think, what a waste of land. What an even larger waste of resources. Holy just pissing money away. Then I could not help but think and the hypocrisy that these golf courses stand for. And I wasn't angry, I was saddened. Its a disgusting state that I saw. How, in the middle of the worst drought in fifty years, is your entire golf course flawless. How? When I am not supposed to water my garden every day are you allowed to steal water from the farmers and poison with your fertilizers and pesticides, then pour it all over the ground. Like how does that even make sense? Ahhh, never again, will I do that. It made me sick to play there. Honestly, the smells of chemicals, is all I could smell. Disgusting. So, how do I be the change I want to see there? Well, all I can do is not support it. I want to light it the course on fire and watch that mofo burn. " Some people aren't looking for anything logical. They cannot be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some people just want to watch the world burn!!" Yeah I am one of those people!! Let me start with the golf courses, then to the office towers!! Then the banks! Hahahahahahahahahaha!


   Yup, went a little sideways this week, let the crazy side out, just a little bit. Gave that side of me some freedom and fresh air. Would you like to know a secret? A lot of the time, I really like to embrace the insane side of me. Sometimes, I really enjoy going there. I enjoy seeing what exactly the darker side is plotting. I have a very healthy fear of that side of me. It is like the yin and yen. Everyone has two sides, do not deny it. Its only a matter on how much does it scare you. Do you hide from it, or are you willing to embrace that side of your being? I know why I enjoy going there, it can be a lot of fun!!  Don't be scared, just let go, and let insanity take over for a while. Madness is a lot like gravity, you know. Sometimes all you need is a little push! I have been deemed, psychotic before, so I know just about how far  I can go. Do you? hehe haha hoho!


Thanks for your time
Have a wonderful day
Mr.Duncan