Not everyone can help people like me, and I forgot that. I thought that, you know, I was like most people, for a while, but I am not. Most people would quit life if they have to go through the mental tormenting, that people like me go through on a seemingly daily basis. That's okay. I forgot, people like me, are far too much for some to help. Sometimes, I need that reminder. I have a disease that is unlike many others. Not an excuse, but that's how I was treating it. It's not an excuse to be shitty and self-loathing. No, it's my reason to get out of bed and crush the day. It's my reason as to why I'm the warrior I am today. I'm not scared to look the devil in his beady little eyes again. I not afraid to kick that demon right in the groin. Bring it on truck face. You think you got Willie down? You think you got me backed into a corner? Ahh, Maybe, you do. You sure you want to keep pushing? Yeah you do, but, do not forget I get back up, every single time. And when I do, you best not be here. Some days, I forget, why, I went down that dark road for so, so many years. I remember now. I remember. I'm here to earn what's rightfully mine. I'm taking my place back, and if you're standing there in my way, you won't be for much longer!
This last while was a great reminder as to what can happen, when I prioritize life before happiness. Life happens, but, happiness is a choice. Yes, everything is a choice. I can choose miserable balogna or I can choose to be who I'm supposed to be. I have this burning desire in my belly, and when I chose to try to squash that fire, I always pay dearly. When I throw kindling on that fire, the results are always awe-inspiring!! Well, whoever is upstairs, gave me a great reminder, of what will happen, when I quit striving to be me!
Being "committed" to a way of life and not working for it just doesn't make any sense. Committed! Pfft, I'm committed to world peace, but, I'll still take you out when threatening me. Demons or people. I don't give one hoot who is stepping up, you'll fall, just like every other naysayer! But, That's what I was also doing. Started to fall into the sheep mentality, when in fact, I am the lion! Not a wolf, forget the wolf. Put a lion in a cage with a wolf, and well, it's not going to work out well for the dog. Lions are kings and wolves are dogs. Forget these excuses about planets and stars, and universal energiesand the trees blowing this way, and the grass growing that way. Simply more unneeded excuses. I, with the help of my higher power, create my opportunities and energies. No more cupping my nuts and waiting for it. I ask for help and guidance, and start pushing hard.
I'm paraphrasing and changing to suit here! "The lion doesn't loose sleep over the opinions of sheep, he just eats them!" Today that's where I'm at. Unless you are fighting in my corner, you are fighting my corner, and there's not too many who want to throw down with someone who fights with the devil on an hourly basis! Arrogant, nope! Determined, hell yeah! Confident, almost one hundred percent back there! Don't confuse confidence with arrogance! That's a sheeps mistake!!
Besides, this mofoing lion is hungry. You'll never know just how strong you are, until you get desperate for change and growth. Desperate people are the most dangerous. You'll never know what they will do to simply not fail! Unless you've been there you'll never ever know. Unless you've been there you'll never relate!! You'll never know what it like to be desperate until it's all you have left. I'm not scared to fall down and roll in the mud. Failure, that's a state of mind and in the last few years, I've not completely accepted failure in my soul. I learn. I grow.
"Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat"
Brock Lesnar 1977-present
Time to feast! I'll eat all you all later. Just wait your turn.
I'm hunting for mine, and if you got it, I'm taking it
Mr.Duncan
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