Well, 2020 eh!?! The year of curve balls and what is going on here? You know though, let’s be honest, it’s been a good year. Eye opening and full of lessons. Lessons I never knew that would come! Rewards though peeps! For me personally, it’s been full of achievements and milestones. Another 365 days of sobriety, I’ve reconnected to Kung Fu, my grounding source. My source of strength and power. I’ve got it back in my grasp and I’m trying to utilize it to the fullest extent.
My training has been pretty solid, minus my little vacation a few weeks ago. And, absolutely, my forms are not the best they can be. And no matter any outside circumstances, those results are me. Good. Own the failures and missed opportunities. Okay done that. Now move forward, man! Quit kicking my heels, and I honestly have been. This is not all that I can give. Oh no. I can do better, I just keeping making up excuses.
Like I don’t feel like training tonight. I just lugged around 100lbs of gear through a mud road that trucks can’t go through for 1.5km. One way! Hahaha. Oh man, my calves were on fire man. My sled had a square bottom, because it was a spill tray, not a sled. Every so often, you’d be making good time and then bam you’re stuck! And near faceplant in the mud! Hahaha. You can literally hear the hip being pulled out of place. Yes I said hear! Oh man, bring it on ahhh! You don’t scare me! I got dinner out of it! Bam! And I still did some forms and like one round, maybe of shadow boxing. Then, I was spent for the day.
But, yeah, I’m hitting forms and kicks hard again. I have too. My side heel thrust kick used to be one of my go to’s. It’s was very nice! Today’s kicks are decent, okay! Not where they should be. I want my kicks to be better. To be all that they can be! Ha. So, back to the grindstone. I’ve been practicing holding at the three point. Hold pause looks solid, move forth foot, and pause, pull back toes. That’s the ticket, and repeat. I enjoy doing these simple tasks. So simple, but, so rewarding. Maybe it is the little things in life?
So, how do I combat my excuses. Pushing through, obviously. I like to over complicate and over think and tear apart everything always. Like, it’s a bit of an over obsession sometimes. So, my best bet for now, is to stick to the basics. Stop getting fancy and just practice Kung fu. That’s what I need and want. So, that’s what I going to do. Just back to the basics. Quit talking and start walking...
Okay and you know, another curve ball another test for me. The universe is like, okay cool, you’re there hey Will! You’re doing great. Smiles big and talking positive. Okay dokay Will! Well buddy here’s a blast from the past for ya! I got a random out of the blue text from some one very, very important in my life. I’ve just never the chances to actually do my thing. I’ve asked and begged and shown my desire for just one more opportunity to help fix a completely destroyed and smashed into tiny bits of a relationship from the past. So far so good....we have been texting sun up to sundown. Going slow. Neither of us are overly sure of what to say to each other. We both ask for a clean slate and a shot at life with no one getting in our heads. Sure, no problem kiddo. I’d love one more opportunity to be there for you. I feel this may be that opportunity, but, with ease and patience.
This is what I have trained and meditated and reflected for. This single reason is why I didn’t pull the plug oh so long ago, to rebuild a relationship from the past. I always knew one day, I’d be able to be there. One day, I could say I love you. This, I feel, will be my greatest challenge since I’ve sobered up. I understand and see, I’m trying so hard, to look unbiased at this relationship and just simply believe in my higher power. Like I say, when I get out of the way, stop directing my life, and just believe, I can do amazing things...oh man, here we go. This is going to hurt, it’s going to be full of tears and frustrations. Always though, for the better. I do believe this will lead to a greater happiness than I’ve ever known, not just for myself, but for the other party involved. And, honestly that’s whats important here. Her joy and happiness, not mine alone.
Anyhow, Monday’s coming fast, so, have a great night folks.
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan
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