Just another day

Hey team. Just a quick note this absolutely beautiful evening. Today was so far the worst day. And that is okay. It is only the beginning! I will keep  standing in the waist deep in muddy trenches with my arms held up in the air screaming bring it on. You have nothing on me today. I feel stronger today than I did yesterday. I don't feel like such a degenerate. How do I smash this addiction right outta the park? Well, continue being accountable. Continue to let everyone in. So, as much as I want to hide, and I want to hide, from everyone and everything. I can not. Today, all day, I fought upstairs. The alter-ego, my other self, whatever you want to call it. I am going to call it the hulk today. Because that's what it felt like. Even right now, I have this incredible urge to smash my computer desk through the wall. Make a perfect hole like in the cartoons. Go outside, grab the desk, smash it back through the wall. Go yell at my neighbor, for him being him. Bounce and scream down the street until the cops come, then start a war with the police. There were opportunities to re-ground and re-set my self. And I took full advantage of it. I would reset by taking three deep meaningful breathes, walk ten feet, and have to restart, again. Ahhh! Towards the end of the day, I wanted to not fight anymore. I wanted to just throw my hands up and say "I'm done!" But you know who came to mind? You guys. My teammates. The sifu's, the little guy in class with me, who really just had to tell me about his scooter Monday night. So, yes, I fought like hell today. And thus today was a victory. Small, but worth it. I am glad I continued to fight through the day.
   I wanted to share one more thing. Its  a song that, I have been listening to a lot. It helps.  Its called Cinderella Man by Eminem. Unfortunately I have to edit and can only put some of it on the blog because of swearing and the lyrics!!


(Amen!)
Yeah, haha
(Amen!)
Feels good,
(Amen!)
Whooo,
(Amen!)
Guess I'm lucky,
(Amen!)
Some of us don't get a second chance.
(Amen!)
But I ain't blowing this one.
(Amen!)
Naw man, ha
(Amen!)
 I feel like I can do anything now.

Who can catch lightning in a bottle? Set fire to water?
Comin' out the nozzle on the fire hose, flier than swatters?

 Smash an hourglass, grab the sand, take his hands and cup 'em,
Spit a rhyme to freeze the clock, take the hands of time and cuff 'em.

 There's a storm comin' that the weather man couldn't predict,
I start the bug prick, you better flee cause I get ticked
It's a rap, I was down, when I was down I was kicked.
I got up I'm back to punch ya to the ground, ya trick,

You can die in the blink of an eye, so bat ya eyelashes,
And keep winking and blowin' kisses 'cause you're flirting with death
I'm destroying your livelihood. I ain't just hurtin' your rep',
I catch a flow and get goin',
No remorse I'm showin', ain't slowin' for no one,
Knowin' there is nothin' you can do about it
Zeroin' on the target like a marksman,
The target is you.
I shut ya lane down,
Took ya spot, parked in it too,
Arsenic flow, lighter fluid, saliva what can ya do?
Go get ya crew to hype you up stand behind you like whoooo!

That boy's hot enough to melt Hell, burn Satan too:
Fry his bum, and put his ashes back together with glue,

Now guess who (hey),
Here's a clue (hey),
He came to the ball in a wife beater, lost his Nike shoe,
It's in ya bum (hey),
He's in ya bum, he's all up in your psyche too,
Now what's his name?

Forget catching lightnin'
He struck it
Screamed "Shut up!" at thunder,
And flipped the world upside down and made it rain upward

Cinderella man, Cinderella man, Cinderella man, Cinderella man.

Rewound the future to the present, paused it don't ask how,
 forget the past mother he's the stuff right now
He's

Cinderella man
Send the fellow Shady dane came to wrap the game up in cellophane,
Raise up from hell he came,
But didn't come to bore you with the Cinderella story,
Nor did he come to do the same,
Or can't afford to be a label in this day and age,
And at this stage of the game
Mediocrity can no longer be allowed to fly,
So say bye,
To the old H.I.
To the new, Que Sera
Consider it his last hurrah
Coup de grace
Raise 'em high in the sky,
Keep 'em up
Time to bring the place alive,
Thanks for being patient
I will make no more mistakes,
Shot my potato's baked,
Homie the veggies on my plate can fly,
You bet the stakes are high
 Man I ain't even suppose to be here
By the grace of God,
The skin on my teeth
And the hair on my chin I skated by,
Now y'all are on thin ice
With ankle weights I hate to lie,
How  irritated are you?
How much in your face am I?
And ain't nothin' you can do but fear it
Proof is here in spirit and
And I'm the spittin' image
I'll mirror it
When I stand near it,

Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan