Say what?

Good day to you there. Have you seen outside? Holy fantastic there people.
   So this week was a good one. On site for sixty hours. Travel time of around eighteen hours. Whoa. Eighty hours just involved in work and travel to and from work? Yup, you betcha. That's part of being in the trade I am involved with. This isn't some weak at heart nine to five shelf stocking gig. This is a lifestyle. The only lifestyle I know. I come from a family of ironworkers. Third generation to be exact. And damn proud of it. Our trade demands our blood, sweat and tears. Though if you are caught crying on site, you get to go hold hands with the lesser trades. Every morning, I am out the door by five thirty at the latest. Most nights, I do not see home until between eight and nine. Usually closer to nine. Those nights that I do not have to attend kung fu class, I need to make a decision. Do I eat dinner now, or do I go hang with my boys. The last thing they want to do is sit at the kitchen table and watch me eat. So, I opt out to hang with them for an hour or so, before they go to bed. So, I am lucky if I get to warm up my dinner around eight thirty. By the time I finish dinner and have a shower, I am whipped. To be honest with you, the last thing I am going to do, is push-ups or sit-ups. That equals burnt out willie at work the next day. That is very dangerous. If, for example, I am too tired to concentrate on my job, it will equal serious injury or death. Not a blood blister. Hopefully its just a broken bone or a sprained ankle. But a fall from a height, if you are lucky, the smallest injury you receive is a concussion. Whether you are tied off or not, it is going to hurt, Badly. Safety systems are designed to save your life. It is like the knife defense theory. There will be blood and it will be yours!! Not keep you comfortable while you free fall until your harness and lanyard catches you, and snaps your head and limbs in whatever direction down is. I have fallen, and it hurts. A lot. I have hit the dirt from the anchor bolts giving out on a colum I was on.  Ribs, shoulder, head and kidneys on fire. knee and hip is killing me and I felt like lying on the ground. But, being stubborn and reckless, I jumped back up brushed the snow and dirt off of me, gave a fake smile, reset the colum, on those terrible anchor bolts and carried on. The job must go on. I will rest later. I took a quick look around and saw I missed a few chunks of rebar sticking straight up about three feet long. You know, we all had a laugh on site. I changed my soiled drawers and climbed that colum again. This time, we tied to back though. Haha. Absolutely insane. But, it is the most fun a guy can have at work. trying to walk a beam that is four or six inches wide while its trying to buck you off, and there is another chuck of iron flying in at your head and you need to catch this on beam while watching your step, and staying balanced enough for the wind, the crane and the iron trying to ruin your day and kick you butt off the high iron. Or you get the "easy" gig on site, like dragging and placing thirty or so sheets of decking that weight in around a sixty to seventy pounds a sheet. Usually with a partner, sometimes by yourself. It really depends on the day at hand. My tool belt weighs in around thirty to fourty pounds, depending on the tools I need and the tasks at hand. So, at the end of the day, physically and mentally I am whipped. I have little to no energy left. But, then there are kung fu classes. Now, I gottaq kick it into high gear again. and train as hard as I can. After class, if I am lucky, I can keep my eyes open for the ride home. Fortunately, I have an awesome sifu that understands, because he has been there and done that. So, I push harder because he gets it. My reward is a shiny new belt, that I bled for. I feel, I truly earned that s.o.b.
    Now, the question is begging to be answered. Why am I telling you people this? Well, since Friday night and hearing a few comments about commitment to the team, I am fired up, and a tad disappointed, in the lack of understanding, and in the comments themselves. Its not as easy as quitting the job, or taking Saturday afternoon off. I start to do that, and I will be able to train all day every day, because I WILL be un-employed. There are people who want my job, but I will not give anyone the pleasure of having my gig. Its mine and I have worked way too hard to get this job and build my professional reputation to where it is today. I do not care or agree with the subtle little comments. Oh just kidding thrown in there to make yourself feel better about running off about something you do not understand. Yeah I am pissed about my form not looking as good as it should, but I am doing all that I can, and that is all on me. I know that very much. Guess what the show will go on, with or without me. I get it. If you do not like it, try for a week to walk a mile in my shoes, and I guarantee, ninety-five percent of you out there will not make three days. Our jobs is to break each other and then build each other up as solid, reliable ironworkers. Most people could not handle our humor, let alone the heights and elements we face.
   Am I saying I have it harder than anyone else? Heck no. What I am saying is this. This is my journey and right now, I can not give the time and energy, every one thinks I should. I will not apologize for my jobs hours being sporadic at the best of times. During this time of the year, our hours always take off. That's when the money happens, this is always when the push from above comes. In the winter. I have heard all year, oh its okay, we will fit in what we can, where we can. Then do it. with out the snappy remarks. That would be nice. It really hits a guy in the gut, when all summer there was nothing but lovy dovey, hanging about with no real plan on executing demos and dances. Except for a few of us, there all the time. Now, I have had a conversation with sifu about this and I completely understand why, the dragon can not happen in the summer, but, it doesn't mean I like it. It doesn't mean I have to agree with it.
   Merely, I am trying to inform all of you of what is honestly going on in my world. It is a lot more than I have read or heard from a lot of people all year.
    So, for next year, I will be implementing changes. Some drastic, some not so much. I.H.C. class is on Thursday nights. Because of another program as I have mentioned before, I will not be able to attend every class. I am hoping for once a month. I now fully and understand the value of this being my journey. Make it what I want to. Be as involved as I want to. I will be involved, just as a very back seat role. That's nothing new, as of late.
   So, with all that being said, I hope I did not insult or hurt anyone. Those where not my intentions. I needed it off my chest and outta my mind, so I did not say something that would really cause problems. Then I thought, heck, this is my blog, to blog about who I am and where I am at. So, there ya go. Honestly I am not trying to throw down with anyone or create disappointment anywhere with anyone. And truly, most disappointments is from placing your expectations on others. Its human nature to let others down when expectations are placed on others. I will never be able to match your expectations. That's why I try to never use that word. Both are internal problems. So, as I above mentioned, this is where I am and this is who I am. I tried hard to keep things to myself and take it out on the heavy bag, but I can only take so many comments before, I explain myself. I thought long and hard about, ignoring those comments and writing some silly blog and spewing some crude about being inspired or repeating the same sentence thirty times before signing off, or some bibble babble like that. Or.... I can be honest with everyone, and express some words on this impersonal screen.


Thanks for your time and I will see you soon.
Mr.Duncan