Well then. 11 years of continuous sobriety. Man that feels great. I have definitely had some ups and downs. I was thinking about things and, ya know the last time i camped for work, it was the summer i quit drinking. Ha. I am camping here for work. I have always been nervous about doing that again; and have stuck to apartments and hotels. so much nicer this time around. This time, its not psychotic. I am not so nervous about everything. i am pretty chill. Pretty calm. For the most part.
I am pretty open and honest about who i am and where i came from. So when asked bluntly to go a party, i respond with the same, no thanks, thats not something i enjoy anymore. Or, i would prefer not too, but thank you for the offer. Some people ask why, so i give them, i do not drink, and i do not go to things, places like such. But, thank you for the offer.
Drinking, more the effort to not drink, is not the same. It's something that i have practiced for so long, that its not even in my body or mind anymore. It no longer consumes me or my life as it once did. FOr example, when i very first decided to sober up, I went to a meeting a day for the first month or two, then down to three a week. Then eventually after four years i went down to two a week. then one a week. Now, its been a while since i've been to a meeting. It is not something i feel bad or remorsful about, no, not at all. I have simply moved on. I still hear those old voices and their advice whispered, sometimes yelled at me. Ha. Loved it.
Do not get me wrong, i owe my new life and my new everything to alcoholics anonymous. Yeah, even my path to Kung Fu, did not seriously start after my new A.A. journey. ah wow. For what an exciting time it was, I sure am glad that chapter is over. Well, that would be living in the past, no need for that. No, onto new things to concur and destroy.
It is very obvious a new chapter again started yet again. And here, again, pretty darn close to my A.A. bday. You know I spoke about taking a full time foreman seat, and that is the chapter. Being the boss i always wanted to have and showing the rest of them bosses this is how its done. I will get outta the guys what i want, basically when i want it. Because i lead. I am in the trenches lets go boys!!! I have a few little motivational lines i give out too, Yeah, are you trying out for Mack tools as a tool model, because, i would quit and just worry about this ditch!! haha. All in good fun. I have more than earned my spot, and I take it as serious as such. It has been reittertated to me, that when i step foot onto that project, everyone answers to me. Third parties, inspectors, other foreman, it is mine. Yeah, i was like wow. That's throwing a guy to the wolves, eh!?! I have been entrusted with an entire section of the project, I have got to be on my game at all times!! No sweat. I can handle this, hold my soda pop and watch this.
I had the chance to have a solid heart to heart with the fella i have worked under for my entier pipeline career. He wanted to know, so he asked, and I bluntly told him who i was and where i was going, until i changed. He asked about my past and I told him quite honestly how terrible it truly was. I told him that if wanted me to drink, he should just shoot me. Its the same result. Ha. Then things made a little more sense for him. I did say, Ya know, all bull shit aside, I have an awesome killer instinct and when i lock on to something now a days, its pretty hard to get me to faulter from that goal. He said, oh yeah, whats that goal? "To be honest, i won't be satisfied until i take over all of this Jeff. I want this world now. In short, when you are done, and you say it is time, I want your position." "I appreciatye that will!" We shook hands and carried on.
The seed for the next twenty steps have been planted. I don't control tomorrow, but, i can alter things and ask for help. I may not be able to control what comes at me, but i can plan and have plans for plans falling apart.
Man, thinking back, it's been quite the journey. I am proud of myself on this day.
Here's to another 24
Will
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