Waking up or re-learning?

Good morning to all. Shaping up to be a beaut of a day, that's indeed. What a week it has been. Full of all sorts of good stuff. I'm really not too sure on where to begin today, so I'll start right here. Works was work. Laid a bunch of decking and got to know another fellow. On Saturday this fellow comes up to me and says "I'm going through what that guys going through." Yup just like that. Right out of the blue, not expecting that at all. So I'm like, what? And he go s onto to telling me how he's having a heck of a time staying sober. So I tell him a bit about myself and ask him a few questions us alcoholics know to ask. Boom just like that, he and I have built a solid base for a relationship. He seemed really intrigued and sincere. So, on Tuesday, when we meet again, I will find out just how serious he wants to take life. After we spoke I looked up to the big guy and said thanks. See, I was really questing why, I was even at work. So I can keep this job and so I can make great cash, but that's it. When I get to this point, I want to move on to another gig or just change things up. But, that conversation that I had at two in the afternoon was the reason I was at work for the day. He needed to talk to me, and I to him. I needed to remember what it was like coming in for the first time,and he needed to hear he was not alone anymore. Changed my perspective of the day completely. I went from a grumpy Gus to a helpful Henry. And the hope in that mans eyes...made it all worth it.  When I approach another individual who has the same problem as I do, I have noticed there is quite the process that goes on inside of me. Ah the old awareness lesson again. I go from wanting to drop everything and help this man, to got to introduce myself to, I need to open up a bit and tell him my story, to, that sounds like a lot of work and I don't know if I want to, to ahh screw it here goes nothing. And every emotion wanting to run wild. Kind of stressful. But awareness of who I am, where I am and what am I doing takes control and I breath and carry on with a friend in need. It feels great to help out a friend in need.
     Awareness. This has been my greatest asset, when used appropriately. I'm not the best at it, but, it's coming. Sometimes I forget everything I have learnt in Kung fu and just bull through my day, and at the end of my day I am whipped. Tired right out. But, if I stay on top of where am I and what am I doing, I can breath, I can calm down and be cool. My outside programs gave me a life worth living again. It gave me the strength and humility to rebuild my life. Kung fu, I Ho Chuan, in particular gives me a purpose to this new life of mine. I had this thought the other day. Kung fu gave my punches a purpose. In order to maintain that purpose I need to learn my intentions. My intentions teach me my motives for the day. My motives teach me who I am being for the day.
     So onward and skyward with my goals. This first week of monkey has been tougher than I thought. I figured, boy, I will just make these changes on this date and that will be that. Umm, nope. Not at all. I have not been able to wake up at four to get some early morning training in. The body is fighting hard. Or maybe I'm allowing excuses to stand strong. The oh, I'm tired excuse. I'm tired of hearing that excuse to be honest with you. Kind of pisses me off. But, right now, it is the best time to get training in and start the day off right. So, I will keep pushing hard. Thankfully, the escrima sticks are flying now. I have a great base to start with, thanks for the input Sihing. Friday I got to class early and was fortunate enough to get his help and input. A huge esteem builder there. Sure I am creating my own form and its "mine" but I need help. Making sure it doesn't suck, making sure I'm not just flailing about,  so those quick conversations really do help. "You have a great base, now work on the individual techniques, then the flow, then it will be awesome." Okay I can do that. Again the power of asking for help. Such a powerful tool. I'm really liking this asking for help thing. I did it a wee bit, last year, and this year I plan on doing it more than i am comfortable with. When I think I got this, I better be asking for help. That I got this attitude kicked the crap out of me last year. My ego flourished and I in a sense walked away from the team. It's just how I feel. Poisonous thought process for this cat right here. But that was last year, not this year. Build from my failures. Our masters have failed more times than we have ever tried, so keep trying.
     The hand form I am working on is, well, tougher than I thought. But it is a great challenge. Truly I feel this is exactly what I am to be doing right now. I'm basing this form on the mighty dragon. Only one direction and smash. I am stumped a few of the movements I have picked. Like a sweep kick. I want to open with a sweep kick and I was told, a true sweep kick is drop and sweep, for some reason, I can't just drop without a backwards movement. So, I will be asking for help next chance I get. It will come, I know it, I just need to keep moving forward. Kung fu, in a lot of places, has come fairly easy for me. So when a wrench is thrown in there and things get tough, that's when we find out just who we really are. Haha. Great stuff people, great stuff
    So far though, monkey has been a treat. I did some reader has on just what can be in store for the year of the monkey and it's supposed to be a very fruitful year for those whom work towards goals. Monkey is supposed to be a very powerful year and I believe it will be. We have a team of very strong like-minded people, who just want to be the best that they can be. And we will be awesome I know it. I haven't made it to a class yet, but I will. I believe I have someone to cover for me at the meeting on Thursday night, I really hope this guy can cover for me. These last few weeks I have been the only group member to open the hall and put on coffee and shovel the walks and lead the meeting. Which is fine, I really don't mind. It's a great reminder of where I started and who I am. Something I can not ever forget.

      "Don't fear failure. Not failure, but low aim is the true crime. In great attempts, it is glorious even to fail."       -Bruce Lee

Well, teamers, I figure that's all for now. I look forward to seeing everyone soon.
Have a great family day
Humbly yours
Mr.Duncan