Anyhow. This year much like for many many others has been horrible. I am no lone soldier in this one folks. Pandemic, no pandemic like what the happened. 

I cannot put into word this year. I was back in contact with my daughter. Oh man. What a feeling. I was on cloud nine. So badly I wanted to be dad and get to know her and hang out and such. She started with great interest, mind you, she’s a 16 kid that’s probably really confused. Growing up with no dad he’s never around. He never wanted you. And to find out your dad is not only missing you like crazy, that he wants you in his life. He never wanted you to leave and court orders and lies and deceit kept him away. Doesn’t know what to think. I’ll let her reach to me I suppose. She won’t return calls and texts. I’ll wait some more...

My new career, boy friends I was killing it. I had earned more than respect from my crew members. I have had inspectors and engineers write recommendations and write character letters for me and they sent them directly to the big bosses. Inspectors would walk past my foreman and talk to me. I would politely direct them to the boss and they looked confused that I wasn’t running the crew. No sweat I’d say. Give me time. I had not only gone outta my way to meet people build relationships outside of work, I had honestly started shifting my life towards this career. My wife and I had made plans that give me time to establish myself here and we potentially will move here. Found some land. Was more than willing to grow and take over this company.  I worked my way to the top of the boys and was going to take bigger steps. I had worked lined up until Xmas with steady income into next summer...the boss looked dead in my eyes and said you will not have to worry  you will be okay! Wow that’s great to hear! And I worked harder! I meant it when I said I was working so hard I would puke up parts of my lunches! I meant it when I said I was the guy who no problem would put in 12-14hr days and only get paid for 11! That’s what you do when you want what I had! You earn it! 

And, unfortuanatly, my gosh darned family decided she needed free money from the hand that feeds us and we, my brother and I both lost our careers over someone else taking money. Then when I question said person it’s my fault. I’m the asshole for her putting stolen money that I didn’t know about on my cheques, when I very clearly stated to her, I can not loose this gig! Stop doing that please, I do not want to leave! These guys treat me like gold, do not do this to me....low and behold...I was treated like the criminal and got fired, and this other person managed to save her career, by throwing me and my brother under the bus....

So now what? I ask this question over and over. I’ve honestly lost a lot of desire. I’m having a hard time training because, I do not see the light. The purposeful driven reasoning I have carried, I don’t see the value in it anymore. I won’t be competing in tournaments, I don’t fight in the streets anymore! I’m so extremely depressed, I just don’t care. Let’s as a society just get to this revolution already. It’s time we as a group of citizens start fighting back. 

I can’t handle this pandemic bullshit anymore. I think this is embarrassing and ridiculous. We have managed to crippled how many people across the world for an advanced flu. A flu that is targeting an aging population and truly only disrupting 1-3% of a population. Yeah let’s cripple the world for some old people that are, let’s be honest, going to pass within the next few months maybe years if they are lucky. Don’t you care about the older people? I do! I also recognize the fact that everyone dies! Not always do we get to go how we want! No, you think I’m wrong? Ask the pipelined who just got crushed on site who had four little kids, the car accident victim that got smoked by a drunk driver cut outta their prime...but lets cripple the entire world for a bunch of people who quiet honestly are burdens on society and holding the rest of us back from moving on in these times. 

I am really sick of these fn boomers who had every single support network, had a booming world from rebuilding after the world wars, have purposely driven up the prices with greed and capitalism and then, when their system fails that I have been forced into, it’s my fault....duck iffboomer and get Covid and let the rest of us change and move on! Racism is honestly an old person thought and if we could rid of the majority of these bigots their voices will eventually disappear and we can quite fighting over a skin pigmentation! I don’t understand why we still treat others like half rate citizens? It blows me away! And I have gotten into near fist fights telling people to shove their ignorant views! I’m done listening to bullshit! Gonna start putting people to sleep! 

That’s another thing  whatever happened to a simple punch in the lips for running off when you should be listening or not talking! Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean anyone cares about it! Mine included  I understand! But if gotta listen to how terrible of a person I am, because its simply treason you adulterated our Canadian flag with rainbows, that’s flat out wrong! You want a pride flag awesome, stop disrespecting every god damn person that has died in a war or fought for our freedoms. That’s entitlement at it’s finest. 

You know something, I’ve said this how many times, but, it’s extremely audacious and ignorant of us, as a species, to feel so entitled that we think we deserve to be on this planet for ever....listen. How many mass species die offs have happens on this planet? Here we are, crying because our time is running out? Have some pride and act like a respectable human. It’s called evolution. We have hidden behind science and doctors with our illnesses for how many decades. Yes science and medicine has greatly advanced our life expectancy! Sure has, but with all the medicines and over medications, we are creating super bugs. Covid is not a super bug. Never has been. The actual pandemic that’s coming from this “pandemic” is going to gut us as a society. You don’t honestly sit there and think that we will be here forever do you? Yes every life is valuable, but, since we listen to Mother Nature so much, pay attention to what she is saying. We have over-populated and destroyed this planet. Mother Nature has found a way to be done with the old and weak. And her we are screaming at each other over a piece of cloth, that statiscally shown have shown it doesn’t work like everyone thought. If masks where so important and useful, why, oh why are they a thing now? Seems a little weak at this point. People dropping in the streets, like they tried to scare us with in the spring...what’s our rates and numbers? Not even close.