Well it is Sunday already. Look at the time fly. I really don’t have a lot. It was a week mixed with pains in the hips and down the leg and, today, I’m feeling okay!!
Training took an obvious hit! Numbers? What are those? I did have a heck of a time even transitioning from one leg to the other! Dragon technique, just started happening again!! Sit-ups, sounds like crickets hiding in the hip, so I’ve slowed those way down. The crane stance wasn’t happening, until most recently. I should say a proper crane stance. I could get the knee up, just not beyond like knee height. The rotations we did in class two weeks ago, to work on flow did help keep my moving. I would not swing or rotate, just turn that little bit! That was too much some days! Nothing deep or fancy, just keep moving.
Obviously weight lifting was a no go this week. I did try doing arms and chest, but holy cow, the hip is deeply involved in every single workout out there!! Hahaha. Gotta have a proper stance, and I was unable to get a solid footing, so instead of continual re-injuring myself, I did stop the weight training and kept the body motions!
It’s feeling much better lately! I legit took a few days and really let things heal up, at the beginning of last week! As best as I could. Sitting for too long was painful and so is standing, so there was a lot of slow pacing around the house, stop, stretch, feel immense pain, keep moving forward!! Hahaha.
Keep moving, don’t get discouraged!
I am a little frustrated with things. But, I mean, what does a fella do? Find some gratitude and try to move forward. I’ve never felt a pull like this, so, I was and still am a tad worried. There’s a long history of weak hips in old age with my family. My grandfather had both hips replaced before he was 60....so that’s kinda weighing there, but, honestly, I’m a bit of a domesday kinda guy! I gottta just chill out on that thought process.
I do have a dr appt booked for Tuesday coming up. I look forward to some sort of answers. I do imagine I’ll get sent to a physiotherapist...I stress because I don’t have any health insurance at this point! I lost all that with my jobs....soon I will have my own company and I’ll have all the proper coverage then, but, until then I’m at the will of the healthcare system.
Stupid injuries. Stupid weak human bodies. I need a full on mechanical body! With fricken lasers on my forehead and rocket attached missle punches. And a hip that doesn’t make crunching and popping noises... one can only dream!!
I’m doing okay. I really am. Hanging in there. Feels by the skin on my teeth, but I’m moving forward. Schools coming along. I am behind on my time lines, but, I have gotten over that. Accepted it’s going to take me longer than I hoped for and just keep moving forward!! I booked my final for the last Tuesday in March.
I’m actually really nervous. In college I used to get severe test anxiety, to the point I’d literally fail the exam hard! Test anxiety cost me dearly in sheet metal school and even ironworking school. I was hitting 80-90 in trade school, so, dropping marks on the exams wasn’t a big deal, I still passed. Early on though, before my journey in the trades, I was in electrical engineering! I am a smart person, I’m just slower than others. So real quick, Friday was typically the unit exams. Monday we’d start new material and by Wednesday, just the pure speed that they need to teach at I’d be getting lost in the lessons! So I did tutoring, extra help with the classsmates, I’d stay late with the instructors, 12-14 hour days of studying and books. By the test I’d feel great, I could answer any question given to me. On paper on the blackboard, in the lunch room, I get to the test and literally forget everything at the door....you know what it’s like to sit in an exam worth 60% full well knowing you know this but can’t get your flippen brain working. I received my mark, I remember telling myself I did great! No worries, I nailed this. We studied like crazy for a long time on this subject...33% what?? 33%... wow....This wasn’t the first time either, this was a wicked reoccurring event that I’ve addressed numerous times with numerous forms of help since junior high!! This test particularly was important in my life. I remember the whole class was fuzzy and I just wasn’t there! I had always been positive, no sweat, we can turn this around! More studying and tutoring! This test though two years of this struggle, with no change in the results.... I just kept staring at my mark, trying so hard to hold my shit together! The end of class, I grabbed my books and went to my car, just completely deflated. The day was still early, but man, now I have to tell my parents what happened....yeah that was fun.... I have always wished that day never happened! There was so much that happened that day, that changed my entire life, very little of it was for the good! One of those very important life altering days! That changed my relationship with my folks, my relationship with myself and my confidence was absolutely snapped into millions of pieces.
Ya know, back then, I didn’t have Kung fu in my life! No I had very self destructive tendencies! So I did not use my defeats as the proper life lessons that they could have been! Today, thankfully, I do have Kung fu! I have this immensely amazing art form! Where I don’t feel like a loser or a chump or a failure! In my eyes, I’m really good at Kung fu. And with time and training I will be awesome! Kung fu is my crutch for dealing with the real world! I want to get angry, Kung fu teaches to breath! I want to not feel good about myself, Kung fu says look inside and smile at your flower! Kung fu gives that place to put my frustrations and physical pangs and deal with them properly by training my mind and body! I don’t take it to the streets, I take it too Da Mu Hsing and Loa Gar and the Dragon technique above all else!! I love that dragon technique so very much! It honestly gives me great joy doing it! So much joy I could fill a dump truck!!
Just the thoughts of what this tech is built around! The purpose of this technique! The intentions of when the Dragon emerges! Oh somebody messed up! Oh gawd yes!!! The results! There’s no stepping backwards no, that is the dragon telling you all this land I just walked and stepped upon is for the dragon...he is merely back on his perch. Watching, learning!! The dragon steps, claims, steps claims in a forward motion but clearing all directions! You’re attack does not matter his intentions are pure and clean....he’s moving forwards; constantly learning; constantly growing stronger...regardless of what is thrown at him! You’re spot on Sifu Ryback! This does suit me very well indeed!!
Then, I take this injury! Oh good! Please another of life’s groin shot!! Haha!! But, I still trudged forwards about the technique! I won’t loose the work I’ve set forth! I delved into dismantling and putting back together the singular movements of the technique! We got real personal this week! Slowed things wwwwaaaaayyyy down! It was kinda exhausting! All of my stances where heavy on the right side!! Be aware of that when things get back to normal!!
If this year teaches me nothing else, It’s okay to not get top marks! Still seriously getting the best marks of my life! It’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to take injuries and get confused and frustrated, it’s growth isn’t it? I pushed beyond arbitrary limits I placed on myself and pushed hard. Took a chance, if you may, I took an injury, but, now that limit is further away from my starting point. May not seem like it, but it is! I took some failed marks, now, after more studying, I think I understand those topics better than before. Studied harder on the things I didn’t get in the tests, so hopefully I don’t do those mistakes again in the mid term.
It’s okay to make mistakes and to not be perfect. I mean if life wasn’t hard, we’d get out alive!!! Thank goodness for gratitude! And even more so, thank goodness for Kung fu! I’m very grateful for my instructors and teammates! I’ve been quiet this week, but there’s still Kung fu thats been done!
I’m grateful for my struggles!
I’m grateful for my success!
I’m grateful to have to work hard to get anything!
More importantly I’m grateful to be me!
Anyhow, that’s enough outta me.
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan
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