It’s About Time!

  Hey there other people!! How ya doing? It’s been a while eh? Well, I’ve been busy. You? Glad to hear, or sad to hear. Depends on how you answer! I don’t know what you said. I’m over here, you are over there! Well, hold on, I’m gonna press in certain spots on this piece of glass. Yup, and neatly arranged ones and zeros, will suddenly appear in the form of letters to build a language. Even one that can be kinda understood! Kinda neat eh?
    And so, now that I’m doing more than smashing a heavy bag, every now and again, and I’m busting out forms and reviewing my notes. Back in classes, enrolled and rolling. Training forms, working the stances, jumping in the grease and giving a scrub. Starting new. I’m enjoying it of course, we are still young in the honeymoon stage of training, though, and that’s what I need to be aware of. Because, probably shortly, or not, I will not want to train. Those are the days I train for, today. These are the days, that make those days much easier. Proper maintenance builds strength and confidence. I know how these things can work very positively for a guy. But hey, I took some time off. Time off of everything. Disconnected and reconnected. Disappeared from society and reappeared in my soul. I mean not having a job really helps with the “not leaving the house” syndrome. Mmmm, today though, my mind feels good. My soul is burning and I need to come back to class and get the rust and kink out. Today I need to train, not punch.
    I get it, I’m fresh into again. Been to a single class. One class, I know. But, that one class has produced a desire to a change. Yuppers, I’m outta shape and feeling lethargic. That’s changing. Truly, I just pumped a 12hr night shift and I’m tired, but I’m here. I’m trying. I brought my Kung fu books to work. It was slow at work..again. Ugh fire trucks that’s beyond frustrating. Anyhow brought the books did some reviewing during breaks, and kept refocusing my mind. I’m staying away from just all in, full on insanity. Just stay cool. Set some goals and starting working towards something again. It feels good. Dude, I’ve been working Da Mu Hsing, like I need it. I’m glad I did do some many reps of it before. Oh she was rough, but it all came back. Still is, but it’s gonna be tournament ready here very shortly, I tell you what! Goals.
   I’m going to be back in class next Monday and Wednesday morning, and hopefully, if my sitter works out, then boom I’ll be at open training Saturdays. Sometimes I might be able to hit night classes. We will see how that goes! We are curling this year.......in any event, I have my goals again. I’m refocused and ready to pump it up.
  Yes Kung fu, my old friend. We will build upon our old relationship. Yes, yes, I will see you.

“Hard work pays off, dreams come true...Bad times don’t last; but bad guys do!!”
    -Scott Hall 1958-present

Always a classic. Round of apolause!

I’m-ma see you soon, Chiko!
Mr.Duncan

starting freshish

    Well, today is the day I write this. And here we go. So, life’s been kinda crappy lately. Lost my way. Really haven’t done any training in the last while. A little bit here and there but not much. Mentally I was at a point where I was going to just give up on Kung fu. That thought brought a lot of uneasiness in myself, but, the way things have been going lately, it seemed like the best solution. Easiest solution. So, I had become content with my decision and decided, yeah, I’ll get back into it, when I have funds and time. I wasn’t going to completely give up on the majority of my dreams, but, with no time and even less money, I felt justified.
    Then Sifu sends me an email. Hey man, why don’t you come back. It would be nice to see you training again. Now, I’ve purposly not contacted him, because, I knew I couldn’t justify myself and lack of training to him. Couldn’t happen. So, now, I’m in a pickle. I’ve tapped on Kung fu, but, here’s Sifu, being all like hey man, come on back. I thought about it for a few hours, slept on it and said okay, I’ll come back. Monday night I’ll start on classes again. I wanted to get to open training on Saturday, but, I had excuses.....weak.....
     So anyhow, I’m coming back to classes Monday night. I would be lying if I said I don’t need Kung fu in my life. I’d be lying if I said, I could walk away, quilt free. I miss training with people, my garage is lonely! I miss learning about myself and my body. Let’s really get honest and the happiest I’ve ever been, was when I was immersed in classes and training. Not a lot bothered me, then. Today I’m very irritable and moody. I was at the greatest amount of peace when I was sparring and practicing techniques with others. Today, I don’t know what silence is.
   The more I think about re-starting my journey, the more and more excited I become about it. Sure I have a blue belt, with stripes on it, but, honestly, I feel like a white belt again. Thats where I’m starting, again. That’s cool. I hope I can participate in the lower ranking classes. That’s where I need to be. In all seriousness, it won’t take me long to get back to where I was, it’s just going take some effort. That’s something I haven’t put in a lot of lately.
   I find my job is too easy. No mental or physical challenges, ever. So, I found complacency and ran with it. My muscle mass, flexibility and mental strength have all gone for shit. Do I completely blame the job, heck no! This is my own undoing. I know what I done to myself. Let myself go. No I’m not a big old piggy, but I have the stamina of a dead horse....that’s going to hurt in class.
    Still though, I stay determined to do this. Listen, Sifu, has never steered me wrong. He always been there for me. Whether I wanted him there or not, there he was, smiling and waiting patiently, for me to get over my ego. I’m very grateful for my Sifu. He’s always been someone I wanted in my life. He’s almost th most positive role model I have had. Not once, has he told me things are stupid or ridiculaous, or that I just shouldn’t do it. Always he says, well, best of luck! Can I help somehow? Always there for me. I think that’s why I just couldn’t walk away from Silent River Kung Fu. Sifu has created a culture there, where, for the most part, no one gets left behind. And hey, he keeps reaching back and grabbing me the shoulders and says, come on will, let’s get back to work. He’s never given up on me and always tries to make me feel included. Whether it be a picture with my S.R.K.F. title belt or an email, simply asking, how ya doing! Okay Sifu, let’s get Willie back into high flying mode.
   My part will simply be, sticking to the guidelines set in front of me. For the first few months, it’s simply going to be, forms and techniques, until, I’m back at a proper blue belt stature. I must concentrate on what’s at hand, not what’s down the road. I keep forgetting, I haven’t accomplished anything, until, I’ve done the work.

So, it’ll be great to see everyone again, I am looking forward to dawning the uniform and learning again. This is going to be fun.

   “....there is something at work in my soul, which I do not understand...love and rage...there is love in me the likes you have never seen. There is rage in me the likes of which should never escape. If I am not satisfied in one, I will indulge in the other.” 
― Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein
So, I will see you soon
Mr.Duncan

Uhh, pardon me?

   Hola mi amigos! How was your week? Mine was okay. Night shift and very slow at the shop. Makes for a very bored crew. But we had a good shift. We were spot on all shift and my very last task, I messed up. Oops. That’s not a rear suspension group, that’s a front suspension group, and not only did I drop the ball, the fella who double checks our work, just assumed it was cool. Oh no, big problems, not really, just swap the stickers, it’s a literally one minute task. Not too worry, I owned the crap outta that. Boss even tried to tie into lead hand and I said “Nope, that was all me. Not him. I screwed this up, no one else! I get he’s supposed to double check and I’m blaming it on nights, but, I made this mess. Not him!” And then everyone stopped being dicks and it’s kinda where the conversation ended. My crew was on cloud nine, one because I own my mistakes and two, I refuse to allow anyone to take any fall for me. And three, because as big of a deal as everyone likes to make things, it’s truly not that big of a deal. It was funny too. Boss is starting to yell and loose his mind and even after I give him the truth, he still turns from me and starts tearing into the crew. Then you get me again saying no, no no, it was me Dion, not him, so if you need to say anything to anyone in front of the crew; say it to me. And I don’t think in front of the crew is the best place to try and demoralize someone, making mistakes or not!” And he stopped and muttered something under his breath. Pardon me? I say, is there something you want to say to me? Awkward silence. No? Okay dokay then? Can we go home then? Shifts over dude!
   See, these fellas ain’t never seen a guy like me. Not only do I own it, I stand up for what’s right and wrong. I am not afraid of anyone in that shop. Not for a second does anyone scare me or intimidate me. That’s not happening. So, speak like a human or you can deal with me. I do not care who you think you are, I will straighten your thoughts out for you!
    Oddly enough, I’ve been in the bosses shoes, I’ve been a general forman and I’ve had to deal with garbage like this before, and cussing people out in front of anyone is not how things are done properly. It’s about respect. You ain’t got no respect for your crews, you’re not going to have a good time. Like I explained to the boys after boss man pooed his pants is that, there’s really good reason I was respected and sought after in my old union hall. I did not play favourites, nor did I treat people like dirt. Mainly because the check-back was always there. I might be boss on this job, but the next job, I might be working for him. So yeah, it’s all about respect. And in shops like this, the boss man, obviously has forgotten where he came from and that’s hes a human too. We all make mistakes, but will you own it? I do every single time. Don’t worry boys, I have your back, you don’t have to fret!
    No matter what, I had a great shift and I’m building some awesome repor with this company. Bosses above my bosses (I have 4) are taking notice of me and my partner. We rock this shop into next month and we don’t even break a sweat. Hahahaha. He’s an ex operator and I’m and ex ironworkers and together, it honestly feels like back on a claim. We just click him and I. We really don’t have to talk, there is some conversing and deligating tasks amongst ourselves, but for the most part, we are “silent component assasins!” Shop killers! Yeah, something like that.

Hahahaha. Good gracious......here comes Willie!
Anyhow, I’m going to go rip my lawn mower apart. Gotta clean the carb. Not running to well. Something else I just learned how to do! Yeah new skills!!

“You treat me like a dog and expect me to smile? You remind me of a jackass!”
     -Stone Cold Steve Austin (1964-present)

Talk at you later
Mr.Duncan

here read this

Hey there. Well, it’s been a while. Not a lot going on here. Well, besides fixing the yard from the drilling truck that was parked on my front lawn for a couple of days. Yards “fixed”. It’s gonna be a slow process here, but that’s okay. Today, I think I’ll re-plant my cherry tree. I doubt it’s gone to survive, but, I’ve been wrong before.
    Anyhow. What else? Been playing a little bit with Kung fu. More just striking the heavy bag. Block, block, strike. Strike, strike, strike, beat the tar outta the bag and repeat! It’s great. Always being mindful of technique and stances. Very important. Even this far outta training, those keys have stuck. And still, it’s easy to notice when the punches are garbage versus solid strikes. Something I’ll awlays enjoy is hitting things!!
   Ahh, ummm, well, July 2 passed again. Those who know, know that’s a day that has an unmeasurable amount of history with me. Why, I sobered up that day and fortuanatly, I’ve stayed sober for tha last seven years. This birthday doesn’t hold too much for celebration, as it’s cool. I, for the last year have kinda struggled with a subject, and I guess we will talk about it here. It’s labels. Everyone needs a label to feel like they are apart of something, and I’m growing away from this thought. I will always be an alcoholic. I will always have addictive natures. It’s part of who I am. But is that where I stop? Do I as a human being stop there? Being labeled or taking a label is a very important thing I believe. It does give you a sense of belonging. It does give you a home base to go back to. Somewhere safe to reset. I get it, and I needed it. But, I’ve noticed, as my life evolves, I no longer need that label as much as I once did. When I first sobered up, I was always in the rooms. Today, I got for maintenance and to share terrible coffee with like minded people. But, is that all there is to me? Hell no. There’s a lot more. And there’s parts of me that do not for the alcoholic stereotype. And you wanna know something? I am eveliveing past that simple thought. I will always need the rooms in my life, but, I don’t know, if I’ll need it like I did in the past. I’ll never walk away, but, there’s far more to me than that.
  So, I guess in that rambling of crap, I figure I’m trying to spew out, is it’s okay to have a label, and it’s okay, if that how you want to indentify yourself,  but, do not forget, that’s not all that you are.

   “If I’m a B-player, thats because b stands for badass!”
         Chris Jericho 1970-present

   “If I’m a B-player, that’s because b stands for bestest in the world”
         Will Duncan 1982-present

Well, talk to you later
Mr.Duncan

Cero miedo

Why hello there. Again, we meet here on this empty screen. Haha. Well, I’m gonna for shift for now. Got some days off.  It was a very trying week. I was sent to a different shop this week but o help these guys catch up, and well, let’s just say, the leadhand was not happy that I showed up and put his crew to shame! So, there was a lot of crap and verbal diarrhea that went on this last week. Honestly, I was going to leave it alone, not bring it forth with the big boss. Then, after I warned him to change his tune and to not speak to me like I’m his child, he wanted to see how far he could push me. Well, partner, you messed with the wrong cat, because, I finally had enough and asked to go back to my shop, and when I was questioned why, by the shop manager, I told her everything. So, they called my boss and tried to twist things around to throw me under the bus. Well, unfortuanatly for them, the boss man knows me, my work ethic and my attitude very well, and immediately called me. I told him the truth, told him straight up, that I have nothing to hide, I have nothing to lie about and I’m not here for anyone’s job, I just refuse to be treated like this. I’m not a liar nor am I a fool, and I will not be made out as one! Let’s just say, boss man did not appreciate me, being treated the way I was and fires were lite and people now have to explain themselves in front of Human Resources. People could loose their jobs over what went down between me and that other crew. Do not fuck with me. I am here for me and my family. Thats it.

    In all of this and as innocent as I think I am, I still ask, what’s my part? What’s my motives? My conscience still asks me to review my part. Well, like I’ve said, I’m there for me. My attitude is, you do you and I’ll do me.  You try to do me, I’m gonna do you real hard. In other words, do not make me out to be a fool or a liar, and I won’t stand tall and tell you what I really think of you. I didn’t not make the call to tell on anyone. I was going to talk to my boss face to face. I don’t like over the phone conversations, when it’s important matters. That’s how info gets lost in translation. But, everyone wanted to burn me at the stake, because, I put a few things in perspective for everyone. And I told the truth. Was I malicious? Nope, in fact there were things said to me, that i didn’t bring up, because that is getting fired. And I am truly hoping this event, was a mistake. I’m trying to believe this will be a one-of, and will never happen again. I’ll never truly find out thought, because, the boss told this other shop, that, I will never be back there.

   The mechanics I normally work with, three of them, were texting me all week, dude, we need you back. Dude, when you coming back to the shop. Dammit we need you here will! Felt good to see, how much of an impact I have made with my crew. All the “pointless” little things I do, add up and do matter immensely to the smooth sailing of that shop. The extra mile I go for my mechanics whom do appreciate the work ethic I bring, was truly brought forth and recognized by my crew. Now, that, that right there feels good. It feels good to be missed at work. It feels good, knowing that what I do, does matter, to those who matter to me.

     Finally, it feels good, to have some backup. It feels good, to know, that, if I need help at work, there are people there who are going to help me. It feels good to know, that I do make a positive impact on people. It feels good to be me. I truly believe that again today, it’s been while, since I’ve believed that statement. My hands are clean and my conscience is clear. I admit, I still have work to do. I am not pure innocents. Did I take it too personal? Did I make a bigger deal outta something that’s not that big? I do know for sure, I handled it really well. Personally I did keep calm. No yelling or hollering, keep my voice down, paid attention to my body language, tried very hard not to intimidate just speak my cause. No name calling, just stating facts. Nicely done Will, nicely done! That’s a fire trucking victory there.

     It feels good to win again, even if it is just a small victory in standing up for myself, refusing to be spoken to like im some mindless chump. I stood tall. Didn’t get violent, didn’t get verbally abusive, and didn’t threaten anyone to small their teeth into the pavement. I just smiled and said, “you sure you lwant to speak like that to me? I might be a labourer, but, I’m not your child. I suggest you change your tune while speaking with me. And change it fast, friend” it’s funny kindness does win went matched with anger. Weird!

    Anyhow, I’m off to keep digging my crawl space. Water well guys are coming out this next week, and I would like to have a bit more room dug out for them to work in. So, off I go, to my little dirt mine under my house!!

“You can not beat me. You do not scare me; because I am Penatagon Dark. Because I am PURO CERO MIEDO!!!”
    Pentagon Jr. (1985-present)

Talk at ya
Mr.Duncan

Homies

   Homies, homies;

“(I know you ain't there
That's why I just want to let you know something bro
You all know I love you
You all know you're my homies
And eh... Alright we'll talk later - peace!)

Let me ask you this about this life we live
And let me try to swerve some of this attention you give
To them distant ass relatives over ham dinner
If they really missed you so much
Why don't they just call a (Muthafucka) ?
If you wasn't blood, would you still have love?
Or infact does the blood make you think you have to love?
Look, I probably love my family more than anybody here
But my homies are family too, 3rd cousins' get outta here
Who was you with when you got tattooed?
And who was you trippin' with when you did them mushrooms?
And who thtruck  threw up all over your car?
And then felt worse than you about that shit in the morning? (Friends ya'll)”

       Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope aka I.C.P. From the single Homies

Well, there’s two points in this beat I wanted to bring up. See, my family isn’t the strongest around. In fact we are pretty weak. But, with the passing of gramps, I feel, we all had a bit of a realization. One, this family of ours is going to fall apart and disappear if we don’t do something drastic soon. Two, I do love my family and all their insanity. I love them all.

   So, I made a pledge to all of them Thursday afternoon after grandpas memorial. I swore to all of them we are going to re-build this family and I will start this grass fire. Because, honestly, that is the greatest way to Honor grandpa. We have to build memories and friendships again. My cousins and I were tight as kids. Now, today, we barely know each other kids, or each other for that matter. Today, I’ve got phone numbers and emails, and this is happening I said. Be prepared for me I laughed at them! 

   This also, relates to my friends I have today. I’ve realized, I’ve only kept a small number of friends in my circle. That’s okay, but what I should do, I need to build better friendships with the friends I got. I have to. My grandfather lived a life surrounded by friends and family, and I am going to walk in his shoes. We are more alike than I honestly ever realized. That’s okay to realize today, because, well, I needed to feel this loss, before I could honestly realize what I was loosing. 

    So, all those things in the song above, maybe not as extreme as tripping on zoomers today, but, we can laugh and smile over campfires, and wiener roasts, and we can laugh in someone’s kitchen, or we can converse in the living room while hanging with the kids. It doesn’t matter about the ego anymore. I no longer care who crossed me in the yesterday’s. I don’t care. I today worry about today, and what can I do about today? How about being the guy who makes the phone call just to say hi. Why not? I don’t give one rat f@ck anymore. 

I need my family, I need my friends. I love them all. They all mean the world to me. I realize today, that I will loose my humanity, without them. I will loose what I always say I fight for. Who am I to judge any of them? Baby jebus, I’ve done some bad stuff in my life, and I am the last person that should put judgement down on anyone. Friend, family or foe. I will learn to love all of you again. Whether you like it or not, this families coming back together......

“......and that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold says so.”

       Stone Cold Steve Austin 1964-present

Love you and remember, Bye for now

Mr.Duncan

The Passing

    Good am to you there. Well, today is the day we go say goodbye to grandpa. He passed very suddenly last week from a heart attack. On his way to the doctors. Fortuanatly/unfortuanatly, he passed in his car, but not while he was driving. Phew! I mean, well, you know what I mean.

    He was broken hearted. Grandma, passed almost ten years ago and gramps, just kinda gave up. He had tried for a bit to live without grandma, but, his heart and soul just wasn’t into it. And it was hard to listen to him talk about wanting to go. I was there to support and love and offer all sorts of compassion, like, hey gramps, we are still here for you! Or I bet it’s hard and do whatever you want, but, seriously gramps, we still want you in our lives. He would smile and say thanks and his thoughts would go back to wherever they where.

   As sad as that may be, my grandfather, was always on the move. Never sitting still. As a kid I spent a lot of time there. And we where always going somewhere. Even if it was just for coffees with his friends. Or just for some “ce”. What’s ce? Why that was our “code word” for going to get ice cream from Dairy Queen. That came about from when I was like 5 years old and it just stuck in the family. It’s kinda funny. It’s just what we call ice cream now for the last 30years! Haha. Or he’d stab you with his fork while we were eating supper. “I’d rather eat this little boys arm, num num num!” Kinda tearing up here folks.

    Well, what did I learn from grandpa? A lot. My love of cars and mechanics, came from hanging out in the garage for weeks on end. Working on classic cars. ‘59 Chrysler New Yorker ( one of the original gangster cars) ‘46 Ford two door sedan, ‘59 Chev Bel-air, glass top, ‘48 Mercury one tone pick up, (we still used that truck as a truck! It was awesome watching people’s reactions. This beautiful classic truck loaded with whatever trash and people’s jaws are on the streets!) you give gramps something mechanical to play with and it will be fixed polished and working better than new in no time. Not to mention his amazing capabilities to build things outta wood. That’s one trait I really picked up on and have truly come to enjoy. This summer, I plan on building a wind mill or a something along those lines for gramps!

    With all that on my mind, I try To stay positive. Simply because, I’ve accepted my mortality. I am a human and I will pass on one day. I’m on,y here for a blip on the pages of history. Will I/have I done grand and amazing things? I think so. It’s called showing my boys how to live without abusing every substance I can get my hands on. It’s showing how to love without boundaries. How to be the bigger person. I don’t care if someone insults you, it’s not worth the energy or the frustration. Instead of getting angry at others, maybe show compassion. Realize, everyone has a story to tell, and it is different than yours. There is something to learn from everyone. Are you willing to learn, or are you ignorant to life’s lessons? It’s up to you. You figure out the lessons. You learn to get through life and pass on a better life for everyone. It’s your responsibility and yours alone. Now go on and get living!!

Anyhow, I gotta get ready to roll out

   “If god built me a ladder to the heavens, I would climb it and elbow drop the world!”
Mick Foley aka. Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love (1965-present)

Talk at ya
Mr.Duncan