Demon smashing!!

   Happy Easter eggs everybody. I hope your Easter is as fantastic as mine is going. Here, my boys woke up earlier for Easter then they did for Christmas!! The Easter egg hunt was a success. I enjoyed watching them boys looking for the eggs. Their excitement in looking for their little eggs is so cool. Well, I guess we will get right to it then. So, a huge goal I have set for myself is to kick the smoking. It is not the best so far, but not bad at all. Honestly, I have invested 20 years into smoking, so every part of me is fighting the quitting. I will get a few days of really cutting back and on the verge of quitting, then I go right back to almost old habits. It is quite frustrating. On the opposite side of the coin, it is a great challenge. Each time I go back to my old ways, it is not as bad as before. Slowly, my intake is getting less and less. most days are real good. There have been a couple of days where I just simply gave up, and smoked my brains out, only to feel like a bag of cow patties afterwards. I am on the right path, though, smoking is getting easier to say no to. It has taken far longer than I had first imagined. But it is a good challenge. And really, I am making progress.
  
    I got a fitbit wrist thingy, so now, keeping track of distance travelled is a lot easier now. My first day with the fitbit, I walked 17km. Fantastic. Now to get on my bike and start making tracks. The rest of my goals are coming well. Push-ups and sit-ups numbers are still up and down, but balance is being achieved. The numbers are starting to level out. Which is what I am after right now. Balance. Finally, we got to do some sparring, that was real nice. It felt fantastic to put the techniques we have learnt into action and see how well we flail about!! I am not able to make it into the kwoon some nights, as I have a young family and my attention is very much needed on certain nights. Tues and Thursday are some of those nights. Honestly, I do not care. Would be nice, but, I can not and it doesn't bother me at all. I do wish my live could be all kung-fu, all the time, but, right now that is a very unrealistic dream to try to achieve. It would be terribly selfish if I pulled a stunt along those lines. You see, a good friend of mine once told me that, when setting life priorities, make a list and start with number one most important thing in your life. And write out all my priorities in descending order. Then, go through the list and be honest and truthful about where everything stands in life and re-write the list. So, for example, me staying sober is the most important thing in my life at any point in my life. Without a question. If I am not sober, I have no family, I have no job, and even worse yet, I have no kung-fu. So, remembering where I came from and where I could go if I ignore the simple tell-tales, certain things, just take precedence.  That is what happened a few weeks ago. I forgot and tried to push my demons under the rug, and it near cost me dearly. Good thing there are people out there who care enough to give me a few moments of their day. Sometimes that's all we need. A friendly voice and some friendly advice.


   Finally, I re-connected with an old friend a few nights ago. Was truly a blessing to run into this person. She is from my past part of my life that I am not overly proud of. I always loved and admired this person. I used to really look forward to hanging out and playing pool with her. I used to truly enjoy her company and conversation. But I pulled a Houdini on everyone a couple of years ago, to find out who I really was. I needed to explain to her, why I disappeared, took off and became a hermit, for many a years. I did not start to think of speaking with this person until after I Ho Chaun started, and I asked the question. "How do I rebuild a relationship. I have spent a lot of time rebuilding relationships?". Get creative I was told. After lots of deliberating, this old friend of mine almost immediately came to mind. Since then, she was constantly on my mind, the ways I wronged and took advantage of her friendship her was starting to fester. So I took drastic measures and walked into the belly of the beast. Into my old stomping grounds. It felt like a scene out of a movie, you know. Standing at the entrance to the cave of that demon. Its all dark and cold out, the winds is whipping. The fire in the hero's eyes light his path. Then boom, the thunder and lighting light up the skies and like a man possessed, he blows down the door and smashes through another group of demons. Like the ninja turtles through the foot clan. Just tearing them apart. Until there is nothing left standing, except for our hero, who, standing on a lifeless pile of bad guys,  lets out a triumphant war cry that keeps the gods themselves shaking in their boots. Ha-ha. Got a wee carried away there. Truly, I should not go to those places anymore. It is very dangerous for myself. You want to talk about that feeling of wanting to loose control and going backwards in life. The devil laughing in your ear, telling you it would be okay, and just one will not hurt. Who would know?  Yo, give that demon a pie-face and simply smash its face in. Quietly I asked for one metric poop-ton of courage and help to find the words to come clean with her. A feeling of euphoria took over after our conversation was over, and truly it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was way easier. Its funny you know, how my mind can twist and contort simple actions and doings, into these massive out of control tornados if you might. My mind likes to go to worst case scenario almost immediately. It does make doing some stuff exceptionally stressful. I know it will never be as bad as I make things out to be, but that fear still likes to put a choke hold on me. It is okay though. All that will happen, is, I will continue to learn about who I am. And that, right there is a fantastic thing!


Well, I figure I have rambled on enough...for today.
So I will see you on the flip side
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan