Hi. Seriously, I’m pretty off. I’m not really all here right now. I’ll get there. I find blogging is a great place to write things out. I find if I’m asking the write questions and listen to me words, I’ll find hints and such about what’s next. You know what I mean? Just kinda write and hopefully some semblance of coherent language comes out? I really don’t know what to write. I’m scattered. Just had the old L-Bomb dropped on me. Saturday morning having coffee with my kids, “Oh quite please, I gotta take this! Oh hey boss! This is odd what’s up? I’m laid off? oh cool, thanks. Oh yah I’ll be sure to drop off your gas card...
Upstairs I’m pretty mad. Straight up pissed. But, this is the calmest I’ve been since sat morning. So, As, I’ve been documenting and sharing with everyone, I’ve been working outta town minimum 24-4. Last shift was 31 days on. I’ve sacraficed a lot to be where I was with my company. I was the go to guy. I was running equipment and cleaning the site. I was jumping and helping picking rocks load me up, let’s do this boys. Rocks flying man! I earned the respect of my peers and the respect of most my bosses. I’ve missed every Kung fu engagement and a fair number of online classes, so I could work....I’ve watched my kids frustrations grow through a computer screen because I can’t give his hug. I’ve sacrificed and given up a lot. Too much it seams. God dammit I got into a full on yelling match with my beautiful wife about working for this outfit and I still show up. “It’s gonna work out baby. I promise. Please, this will be good. I can feel it in my bones. I’m gonna bring the ironworker to a pipeline and blow their minds”....fudge sakes. I honestly thought with everything I had given and the A+’s I get at work for working like a fun demon, I was gold. Straight up, I’ve had inspectors write up reports and send them to my office on me, for the work I do. Well, as I’ve been told. I have had the head inspector ask me, how’s your back? Youre carrying the crew on this project...the HEAD inspector. Nine times outta ten they don’t give a hoot about you, because you don’t matter. Like at all.
Everything was good, until some office politics. Stuff I had nothing to do with. A lot of really not cool stuff. Stuff in an office I’m 5hours away from and have never had business in. But, my name came up and with no opportunity to say anything about anything, I’m down the road. Get out! Just leave.....cool thanks. Yes I thanked my old boss for at least calling. I mean I was standing and bullshitting with you on Thursday afternoon. The week prior I’m, specifically told not too worry. I’ll keep you busy Willy! Yeah no worries?!? Then too have the gumption to call me on my days off, because I don’t give enough already, and lay me off....over the phone? Punk me like that?!? That one hurt. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been laid off lots, lay off is time off! I used to look forward to layoffs!! Layoffs meant job was done unless the bosses liked you! But I have always been looked in the eye and let go. Over the phone...bust your.....with my.....and then I’ll .....and place things......friend! Muhahaha fill in the blanks, ahaha at your own risk.
That’s just fun fine I said to myself. I’ll show them. But, a few hours later, I was offered an opportunity in a different kinda field. And good honest work none the less. Just a few hours later! Here maybe try this! So, it’s on the table and that offer was a great pick me up! I’m very grateful but going to hold on right now. I’m going to take a week or so and just kinda hang out. Get my mind back. Re focus and blast through new doors. Get caught up at home. Actually be dad! I do know this, yeah, I’m disappointed about work, something else will happen for me. There’s a lot happening in my field, so, I just gotta look around.
So, that’s kinda that. Something else will work out, it always does. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, it will always work out. Anyhow, I’m gonna go finish cleaning out my apartment, hopefully that doesn’t catch on fire or some shit, it’d be my luck lately! Ha. Laws of attractions, my arse. Forget the pandemic, this was the worst summer of my life. This was not the outcome I was looking and hoping for! I lost. Okay I’ll tap out today. But tomorrow, you’d best look out. I’m not hiding. I’m hitting this like a bull on a clown. Sure, I’m knocked down and hurting and pissed, doesn’t mean I’m out. It doesn’t mean, it’s over. This is journeyman stuff. It’s mind twists like this and challenges like this that I eat for breakfast. I trudge the path for my happy destiny, because no one else will and I love it because no one else can. This is nothing more than fuel for me to use. Absoluelty, I’m on the sidelines licking my wounds and kicking water bottles, you bet. But, all these people really did was piss me off. Determined? Sure and whatever other word used to describe that. For lack of better terms, I’ll show them, every single one of them. I’m not done and I will succeed.
I know what I’m capable of when I’m like this. I know how focused I can get. This is good. I know where I can go. I know just what I’m capable of, if I turn this mental train wreck around and just start breathing again. It’s a wonderful place, with continued success, just different victories. Take the step...
No bad days, just bad moments.
I’m here on my patio; writing my blog
Thanks for your time
Mr.Duncan
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