Well howdy there partners!! I must apologize. I missed my blog last week! That’s two this year I’ve missed...anyhow how was everyone’s holidays? I really hope, no matter what you may celebrate, that you’re time with family was great, if you were able to visit family....Christmas 2020...what a show that was eh!?!
Any which way, we had a good hollidays. My youngest son has a bday on the 27 of December. He was pretty down about it, because, well, no one was allowed to come. So I talked to my grandparents on the farm. Asked hey, can we come and play in the forests and such on the farm for his bday? Grandma to the rescue! Oh of course honey, just keep away from Gramps! No sweat. We spent the day searching the old homestead on the land, I guess because it’s delapetaded it haunted!! Hahaha. Kids are awesome!! He brought out his little daisy BB gun and was blasting at his targets! He’s not the avid shooter like myself, but his fascination with weapons is very....enthralling I suppose. We fired up the old fire pit and burnt some hotdogs and drank some root beers and Wyatt got to drive the side by side all by himself!! You should have seen his smile! He was so proud of himself. He’s trying to tell Gramps about him driving the unit, but grandpa is deaf and Wyatt speaks quietly, and we had our masks on, and the very distant social visit through the front screen door....grandma had to act as translator for them both!! Hahaha. Three languages she can speak. Old mumbling man, young kid fast talk and English!! Hahahaha. Impressive!!
Any how onto the next step. The next huge transition. School. I start my classes Jan 4!! I’m super excited. So pumped. No more being covered in mud head to toe with the faint smell of nicotine and caffeine on my breath. Okay, let’s go!
I have had lots of time to contemplate and figure my life out. My health is still lacking and worsening my throat death dart. My cousins are being ravaged my addictions. My mind kills when I think about not being able to change. So I feel my lesson outta what happened in my family is I have to take that next step first...not in competition. Not to say anyone is better than the others; just simply quite quietly being the one to take that step. It’s been pointed out that a lack of myself in and around the family is noticed and missed. When I sobered up, I honestly cut ALL forms of poison outta my life. As in I do not want you around me or my family if this is how you’re going to act! And I’ve stood firm on that. Some say I’ve missed out on family life and tried to place blame, I disagree I do what I need to do to keep me and my family alive! I do what I need to do to survive man. But overall, I don’t. I still smoke! I still carry old habits and obviously the believes that abusing myself is okay. It’s a financial and health burden that’s gonna hit. And like the dr says...sooner than I expect.
This has been a crappy enough year and as much as next years gonna hurt, I will still come out on top. There’s a lot changing in me these next few weeks, big changes in the next few days.
I have to get my goals finished. Life keeps throwing crap at me that stops me from getting my stuff done....or does it? Is it an excuse? Probably nothing it is.
So, I said to myself, man, if you want to do this inspector gig and you’re already pulling the plug on one life and pouring from a new life tap, then just finish the changes! I have bought my last pack of smokes yesterday. I simply can not buy anymore. It’s not fair to put my addiction on my wife to carry and pay for...holy adult thoughts...that’s not right. In order for me to succeed to have to quit for me, not them...addiction is simply up to the person! It messes with and affects all, but only the individual can make those changes!
Besides these facts friends, it’s a whole new world I’m walking into. Why can’t I bring a whole new me to the frame? I have to learn new ways on how to communicate, I’m okay when I want to be, but, that’s not good enough anymore.
What I’m trying to say is me, as I stand here right now, is a beaut of a person, but I can be better. Show by example I say, so I will lead by example. I’m committed to working at my kitchen table until I get this done. By golly miss molly that’s what I’m going to get!
I have a fairly good regime set up. Morning routines and academic routines and mr. mom built into my daily schedule. I haven’t forgotten about Kung fu, nor will I. It’s built into the mornings and afternoon breaks. I do plan on actually being apart of the school. Sure I’ll be in school, building my mind, failure to think of my physical well being will cause me to fall back into old habits, and my cousin just proved what happens with falling into old habits...it’s a lesson coldly served; ignore it and die or learn and grow. That’s it. That’s the lesson. Now, pick one and don’t look back. Could have just told me that Chase...I miss you cuz!
So with that I’m going to go for now and get smartened up and learn stuff!
Thanks for you’re time and I look forward to seeing everyone in class very soon!
Stay smart out there people.
Mr.Duncan
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